Comments (58)

1. 1. Maybe not so strange, but I’m amazed at the number of typos that I’ve seen on resumes – pretty obvious ones, too.

   2. In that case it might be time for an impromptu oral quiz with questions (on the subject of the test) created and asked by the class.

   3. I’d like to move back to Minnesota by 2014.

   4. I would build a “Hall of Fame” Hall of Fame – Celebrating the best and most interesting museums celebrating the best. Of course, in addition to the various exhibits showing the cream of the “best of” crop, there would have to be an exhibit about the “Hall of Fame” museum.

   posted by Chia on 2-6-2009 at 11:30 am

2. I once saw on a resume, under Hobbies, “Blood downer”. Even if she had spelled it right, what kind of hobby is that? An admirable thing to do for sure, but hardly a hobby.

   posted by Meghan Fell on 2-6-2009 at 11:31 am

3. Re: cheating.

   Here’s what I actually did in high school. Girl in Spanish class kept looking at my answers on our weekly spelling test. So the next time I quickly spelled all the words wrong, made sure she could see my answers, then folded my paper in half, set it aside on my desk, and pulled out a book to read while waiting for the test to be over. She copies my answers, and trots up to the teachers desk to turn hers in.

   I wait, catch her eye when she’s coming back to her seat, open my paper, correct everything, then turn it in. !No mas problemos!

   posted by Anne on 2-6-2009 at 11:32 am

4. 2. I would have given him a zero, unless they could prove without a doubt that they DID NOT intend to cheat.
   3. Get a good job.

   posted by Sara on 2-6-2009 at 11:45 am

5. 1. My last job involved reading resumes sent over by a temp agency. Some seemed like they had to be fake. One that I recall being unbelievably bad had a quote under his name. Not a terrible idea, but the quote he used was from Norm Peterson from Cheers (“It’s a dog eat dog world, and I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear.”) That guy also included “AOL Instant Messenger” in his list of strengths.

   2. I would have held a mock trial in the class and made Boner play Mike’s attorney.

   3. Finish the screenplay I’ve been working on for the last 5 years.

   4. The Halls Hall of Fame. A celebration of cough drops through the ages.

   posted by Gregory on 2-6-2009 at 11:53 am

6. RE: resumes

   I used to work as an assistant to the corporate recruiter for a local bank chain so I saw LOTS of resumes… the weirdest ones I saw were ones with the applicant’s picture on them. Fortunately, they were all at least regular headshot pics, nothing revealing or indecent, hah.

   RE: Cheating

   I agree with what the teacher did… I would make him retake it but maybe make a new test since he could just remember the answers from the test he just took.

   RE: 2014

   I dunno… maybe take a vacation outside the US since I have never been. Other stuff on the list is boring like getting bills paid off and moving to a bigger apt so my son can have his own bathroom.

   posted by Sarah in CA on 2-6-2009 at 12:01 pm

7. 1. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen on a resume?

   In my first job at a bookstore someone submitted a resume that listed their old job at McDonalds. Then they added, “reason for leaving: fired for being habitually late. I was always late because I needed a better challenge.” This was a RESUME not an application. No one asked why they left. I had a good laugh at that.

   2. If you caught a student cheating how would you have dealt with the situation?

   My wife bought some frozen mini-Hamburgers recently that you microwave with the bun. I would make cheating students eat them.

   3. What’s one thing you want to accomplish by 2014?

   Find a way to get rid of said mini-hamburgers without feeling guilty for throwing away food.

   4. a. What will your hall of fame be celebrating?

   The greatest New Yorkers who ever lived.

   b. Where will you build it?

   Houston, Texas

   c. Who will be your inaugural class of inductees?

   No one, that is the beauty of it. No one would visit anything remotely connected to New York in Houston. I’ll build a small building in Houston’s famoulsy inexpensive land and leave it empty. Pocket whatever remains of the ten million.

   posted by Witty Nickname on 2-6-2009 at 12:10 pm

8. 1. I worked in a retail store and a girl filled out an application and checked off the convicted of a crime box. . . her crime was shoplifting and she wanted to work at a retail store!

   2. I liked Mr. DeWitt’s plan of having him re-take the test. But I don’t think teachers today could get away with a student taking a test in their boxer shorts! (At least that is how I recall the end of that epi!)

   3. I would like to be putting an addition on my tiny home!

   4. The Hamburger Hall of Fame. I would put in the first inductee as Five Guys burgers & fries. Their burgers are mad good! And since I have 10 million dollars I would build the museum to look like a gigantic cheeseburger and inside their would be different food stands where the inducted hall of fame burgers can be purchased!

   posted by Mavis on 2-6-2009 at 12:21 pm

9. 1. I haven’t really hired many people, so I don’t remember much, but I was going through a recruiter in my own search, and was very annoyed w/ myself when I saw the recruiter scanning my resume and inserting a period that I’d neglected, in red pen no less. Stoopid!

   2. Essay test. Not real long. But the sneakers probably had a lot of the bold face type stuff. Let the student show a grasp of the material w/ 5 essay questions 1-2 paragraphs per answer.

   3. This isn’t really a tough accomplishment for a list, but a college buddy mentioned he’d tracked how many states he’d been drunk in. I’m about to add Virginia to my list soon. Other than that, I’d say Mardi Gras in NO (or Rio if you’re able), scuba diving, sky diving, attend a major sports championship (Super Bowl, World Series, NBA Finals, Stanley Cup, NCAA Tournament Final, or National Championship Game).

   4. The HOF of Viral Web Videos. We all see them, and many are quite funny, but they need to be all in one place. How much time do we waste watching them one at a time, possibly waiting for downloads, etc. Its modern, could be web-based, and there isn’t one out there already. LA or NYC are the logical physical location option, as it wouldn’t support visits by itself, like in say Canton OH for the NFL HOF, so high populations centers.

   posted by jonny on 2-6-2009 at 12:26 pm

10. 1. Someone applying for a Quality Assurance position put that he has been in Age of Empires LAN competitions.

    posted by Mor on 2-6-2009 at 12:26 pm

11. 1a. The oddest thing I ever saw on a resume: an applicant at the video store I used to manage once had on his resume (which he eagerly attached to our generic application), that he could “drink you under the table”. This same guy also noted “playing killer bass riffs” on the special skills section of his application.

    1b. For years, I used to put acting and special effects gigs on my mundane resume. Oddly enough, this helped land the aforementioned video store gig when I said that it meant I could act like I didn’t hate customers.

    2. I would have a two-fold solution. First: a second test with a possible top score no higher than a C if he aces it. Secondly, assign a 10 minute oral report on cheats and swindlers through history and the myriad ways in which they got caught through their own arrogance and stupidity.

    3. By 2014 I want writing to be the job that pays all the bills. Anyone looking for a screenplay? I’ve got several ready for consideration.

    4. A Failure Hall of Fame could be interesting. An entire building dedicated to those with the vision, drive and means to take on monumental tasks and screw them up in spectacular fashion. Permanent exhibits could include: Pipe Dreams From The Patent and Before They Succeeded (Failed First Efforts of the Eventually Triumphant).

    posted by EMStoveken on 2-6-2009 at 12:31 pm

12. 1. People that are applying for a senior manager position at a hotel with McDonalds cook as their highest position. Job app so poorly spelled that I couldn’t figure out what the person was applying for. Application for Security Officer position that lists last job experience as supervisor in Prison Laundry.

    2. Force them to take the test orally in front of the class with the rest of the class making up the questions.

    3. I want to not worry about money for one day. That is going to take a lottery win or a lobotomy.

    4. Hotel Story Hall of Fame with dioramas/drawings of strange hotel stories. Anyone that has been in this business has some strange stories to tell like the Hasidic Jewish Diamond dealers that skinny dipped in the hotel pool…

    posted by Ralph Beatty on 2-6-2009 at 12:38 pm

13. 2. I would make him go through a series of challanges to prove his innocence, including, but not excluded to, putting together a carburator, baking an upside down cake, battling the principle in a joust, and running an obsticle course. The winner would win money for either the girls or boys sports programs….oh wait, that was a plot to Saved by the Bell…my bad. it would still be fun though

    3. hopefully celebrating the 5 year anniversary of you asking that question!!!

    4. i would create a Tecmo Super Bowl Hall of Fame. It would be a place to go and check out all the superstars from Tecmo Super Bowl, celebrate their accomplishments, and hold tournaments for people like me who still play video games from 1991. It would be the greatest place ever. Shrines of Bo Jackson, Christian Okoye, Derrick Thomas and others everywhere. But the pictures of them would not be real pictures…only screenshots taken straight from the game. So i guess that technically everyone would look the same, but it would still be awesome!!

    posted by Andy on 2-6-2009 at 12:50 pm

14. 1. Have never seen or written a resume that contained any weird, stupid or silly remark. The truth is: a true to life resume is weird enough.

    2. Would not have given him another test because he had proven his intent to cheat and may have before or would have again.

    3. I wanted to visit all seven ancient and modern wonders of the world. Three out of fourteen not very good.

    4. Hall of Fame of the Hot Dog! It would be built on the lot across from the new Orange County Choppers building in Newburgh NY and I would invite Jay Leno and the Teutuls to the ground breaking and the Grand Opening. I would include space for 5 hot dog venders to sell their wares, which would change every 2 years as new inductees were added. As far the initial five….I believe they would be some of the longest established brands in the US.

    posted by Owen on 2-6-2009 at 12:55 pm

15. 1. I’m a postal worker & at one point in the hiring process, we were asked to list any criminal record we may have. We were told to be specific because it would be looked into. …I had to ask for a second sheet of paper. (For the record, I have since completely cleared my… uh, record.)

    2. Without allowing him to use his notes, I would have the cheating student teach a review lesson (of the quiz) to the rest of the class. The rest of the students would be allowed to ask questions which the cheater would have to handle. (I would give the cheater one day to brush up on the subject.)

    3. By 2014, I hope to have acheived my college degree, quit my job at the post office, and have started my new career as a schoolteacher.

    4. Just to keep with the theme of the rest of my answers, how about a Schoolteacher Hall of Fame. It could be in Reading, Pennsylvania (or some other clever smart-sounding city).

    posted by Mike on 2-6-2009 at 1:23 pm

16. 1. The best resume is a true one. In previous work, I had “field technician,” also known as “water girl”

    2. The dreaded words: Oral exam. Grill them on motivation for cheating. Then make them grade papers. Make ‘em sweat.

    3. By 2014 I want to have learned to play the harmonica.

    4. Trainwreck celebrity hall of fame. now THAT’S an interesting detour. Preferably placed in a flat, squarish state just off the interstate.

    posted by Katie on 2-6-2009 at 1:35 pm

17. on a resume my boss asked me to review someone put experience in blowing – it was for a landscaping company they neglect the leaf part -they were hired immediately

    posted by jane on 2-6-2009 at 1:38 pm

18. 1. I used to work at a restaurant in Pennsylvania, and every month or so we would have people come in, ask for an application, fill it out, and then ask us to sign off on their “I filled out an application form.” Apparently they were all being let out of the jail about 15 minutes away. Needless to say, I didn’t last there very long.

    2. I have no idea what I would do. I am the expert in avoiding confrontation. In other news, I once knew a girl who admitted (not to her teachers, but to other students) that she cheated on scripture tests.

    3. I’m hoping to be a citizen of my new country of residence by 2014. They’re rather anti-immigrant over in the UK at the moment and changing the laws. I just want to be finished wrestling with immigration by then.

    4. The kid’s book hall of fame. It would be filled with books that children voted on. The inaugural class would include all 7 of the harry Potter books, just because then kids might move on and read something new.

    To encourage children to read/submit their favorite books, the first child to submit a book would get their name in the cover. Also, depending on how it takes off, maybe we could give those kids scholarships later on in life as well.

    posted by Julie on 2-6-2009 at 1:59 pm

19. 1. I helped my older brother write up a resume 4 years ago when he got out of prison and tried to get his life together. I asked him to write down a list of things he thought could apply to getting a job. I was really excited about the job training he had gotten when he was in prison for two years and he was really excited to find someone to help him apply them. When I looked down the list, The first three were normal enough. Things like Hard Working, Patient, Able to Lift Heavy Objects… Then I saw the next two and spit my tea back into its cup – Able to grab and hold down the biggest guy on the cell block without taking a punch, and Able to eat anything (including prison food that tastes like “Month old dog shit re-hydrated and warmed up in the microwave”). I took my own editorial liberty of editing them to say: A Good Strong-Arm with an Iron Stomach for whatever I’m presented with.

    2. I suppose it would depend on the class I were teaching because I would want to make sure I could issue a proper punishment. A general idea would be to uncover the cheater in front of the entire class ‘by accident’ because teenagers are more sensitive to being embarrassed in front of their peers than in private in front of their parents. Then I would make him save his ENTIRE CLASS GRADE FOR THE YEAR by researching the next unit of the class extensively and write the final test for that unit for the entire class to take. If it wasn’t up to my standards, I would issue my own test, offer his/hers as a bonus quiz, and flunk ‘em.

    3. I’d like to go to Russia and photograph for myself the new Putin Regime’s empty pre-work streets and buy a furry hat. I’ve heard that Putin clears the streets of moscow every morning 4 minutes before and 45 minutes after he leaves his home to go to work and I have to see it for myself. A city that busy and huge just stopping for a Czar to go to work is unthinkable for an American-born Italian like me.

    posted by Kate on 2-6-2009 at 2:00 pm

20. I saw a resume from a girl who decided it would be a good idea for her “Interests” section to read like something from her MySpace page. It was a weird stream-of-consciousness list which included “interests” such as “horror movies” and “babies.” We hired her.

    posted by Shasta on 2-6-2009 at 2:01 pm

21. Re: Cheating

    Forcing a student to do something in front of the class really wouldn’t stop his intentions to cheat again, so I probably wouldn’t go that route. If I knew without any doubt that he had cheated, he would receive an automatic zero. If I had “overwhelming evidence” but wasn’t entirely sure, I would give him another version of the test (as all my tests will be administered in 3 versions throughout the classroom to avoid cheaters). Refusal to take the test again would result in an automatic zero.

    posted by Sarah on 2-6-2009 at 2:06 pm

22. by 2014

    Let’s see – 2014. I hope to have bought our first house and (hopefully) will have my Ph.D. in English Literature. However, considering the amount of time it’s taken me just to get the undergrad degree, that might be shooting a little high.

    And 2014 might be a good year to start thinking about babies! Babies!

    posted by Sarah on 2-6-2009 at 2:10 pm

23. 1. A new grad’s resume had a color 8×10 glossy of her figure skating. She was applying for a position as an attorney. She did have nice legs, though.

    2. Worked as a teacher years ago and grilled them a bit in front of the class. I had multiple versions of the test and always scrambled the order of the questions, so we’d get something on the order of: “So Terence, why did your test happen to say that Ernest Hemingway was a reclusive spinster whose work was publicized only after her death and that Emily Dickinson was a macho celebrity whose adventures included World War I, the Spanish Civil War, safaris and fishing expeditions?”

    3. Everything I’d really like to accomplish by 2014 is probably going to be illegal by then.

    4. Ten million eh? Microbrew hall-of-fame in the Highlands neighborhood of Denver. Inaugural class would include the founding brewers of the New Belgium Brewery, the Bull and Bush brewpub, Terrific Pacific brewpub, Dillon Dam Brewery (get your own Dam beer!) and perhaps a few others.

    posted by DenverGregg on 2-6-2009 at 2:13 pm

24. I am a teacher, and cheaters get zeros. No exception. I don’t do makeups or waste class time on oral exams. If they didn’t do the work in the first place, there is no reason that I should do extra work to get them back on track. Cheating is a pervasive cancer and zero-tolerance is the only way I’ve found to take care of it.

    I do, however, tell students that instead of cheating they should ask me for extra help before the test or essay. I may even grant an extension if the student has need. That way they understand that I want to help, provided they keep my trust.

    posted by M on 2-6-2009 at 2:34 pm

25. This sort of counts under the resume question. During an interview I was conducting, I asked a young woman to explain her short tenure at her previous jobs. Her answer was that all of her managers had been a**holes. Yep. She said it out loud.

    She fell under the catagory of “the only constant in all of your failed relationships is you.”

    posted by Kendyl on 2-6-2009 at 2:38 pm

26. 1. While reviewing a classmates resume for a course in college, apparently his roommate changed a line under his skills section, as it read “Able to recite Star Wars: A New Hope line for line.” and “Able to ward off any future girls due to my stench.” We suggested he removed them. (we were all friends, from then on we call him Stench Wars.”

    2. Medieval Torture devices. remember the way that William Wallace was tortured in Braveheart. It will teach the cheater a lesson, and is educational. (By learning of Medieval Times)

    3. 2010- South Africa for the World Cup, 2012 London Olympics, 2014- sell my house to pay for past two events, due to bankruptcy

    4. The Mental Floss Hall of Fame. basically would be anything that blows your mind. could be a unique story of success, challenging puzzle or stupid criminals.

    posted by Jason on 2-6-2009 at 2:41 pm

27. 2. I would make him teach a class on a topic that the students picked out so he would have to research and do an entire hour on the subject. Then I would grade him on how good a job he did.

    3. By 2014? I hope to have been retired for 3 years.

    4. Maybe a ‘hall of shame’ for our politicians but I would make them fund it out of their retirement pay and give the $10 million to the poor.

    posted by Carol on 2-6-2009 at 2:42 pm

28. Re: Cheating

    I would have taken his shoes and made him walk around barsaefoot all day. Then given them back at the end of the day.

    Re: 2014

    Five years from now, I hope to finish my list of classic novels to read.

    posted by Jordan on 2-6-2009 at 2:53 pm

29. 2. In grad school I proctored an exam for Gen Chem I. The class was packed so the instructor always made two versions of the exams printed in different colors. I watched a girl cheat the entire time. When I got her paper, she had the right answers for the other exam. It was great. Unfortunately, the professor was really close to retirement and didn’t care enough to do anything. She failed anyway even without getting busted.

    ReCaptcha: MOTORBOAT George

    posted by Nick on 2-6-2009 at 2:57 pm

30. If I were Mr. DeWitt I would be so disenchanted that I would quit the teaching profession in disgust.

    Over the years to follow, my bitterness & resentment for my former life would grow like a large, oversized ball of bitterness & resentment.

    I would become so jaded that I would change my name to Bernard, travel to a foreign country and marry. Her name would be Rose – the only name that can remind me of the intoxicating, fragrant beauty that only grows far outside the four walls of a classroom. But she would grow sick. And we would travel by plane to get her help – only to ultimately end up stranded on a tropical island. Once there I would feign a strong desire to escape back to “normal” life. But inside I would keep hidden from everyone my deep, abiding desire to stay there on that island – the one place where I can sit, soak in the beauty of God’s earth and forget once and for all that lying, deceptive jagoff named Mike Seaver.

    posted by Colin Perkins on 2-6-2009 at 2:58 pm

31. 1. I think one of the saddest things I see when people come in to fill out an application and/or interview for a position is the way they dress. I find it hard to believe that someone is serious about getting a job when they show up in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops.
    2. Mr. Seaver should have received no credit for the test; perception is reality, and the “reality” of the situation was he cheated. Maybe next time he will put his time to better use.
    3. When I was in college, this a former roommate of mine approached me and asked if I would write a psychology paper for him. I agreed, and we agreed that a 12 pack of beer would be the price. Midway through the paper (and the beer) I began to make up names of publications, universities, and people. I gave him the paper the next day. A week later, I asked him what grade he received on it. He told me he got a C, but only because he turned it in a week late, and the professor docked him a letter grade for it being late.
    3. 2014- I want to watch my son graduate from high school

    posted by David on 2-6-2009 at 3:07 pm

32. I worked at a baby store that sold cribs, strollers, high chairs etc. We had a girl bring in her resume and her entire experience was working at “The Condom Shack”. My manager, a woman of 60, tossed it saying “We don’t want any condoms here or we’ll be out of business!”

    posted by Laura on 2-6-2009 at 3:11 pm

33. 1. “2006 Baltimore City Wiffleball Champion” on the resume that got me my current job.

    2. The best response I have actually seen is asking one of the harder questions the probable cheater got right during the next class, when they miss it, they can come visit you after class..

    3a. Run a marathon, preferably numerous, with at least one dressed as a historical figure.

    3b. Go back to school (rumors of the benefits of the real world have been greatly exaggerated)

    3c. Read all forthcoming mentalfloss books, thus ensuring continued dominance at pub trivia

    4. I think that the Darwin Awards desperately deserve a hall of fame, as a reminder that we haven’t really reached out evolutionary potential yet but, with the help of those enterprising darwin award winners, we may some day.

    posted by jake on 2-6-2009 at 3:20 pm

34. I see the resumes and letters of those who beg for a job because a, b, c will happen to them and their family if they don’t get it.

    —

    as for what I want to accomplish by 2014, I would like to figure out a way to bring in an income working from home.

    —

    Have you seen the traveling Ben Franklin exhibit (It covers his biography, acheivement and discovery) I would love to take 10 million dollars and create a Historical American Hall of Fame that featured interactive exhibits of some of our more known Historal Americans. Like we are walking through their lives and discoveries, getting a better idea of the advances and discoveries that helped define America. (Can you tell that exhibit was life-changing? check it out at benfranklin300dotorg)

    posted by christina on 2-6-2009 at 3:44 pm

35. 2) I would have the student (assuming it is the student from the film) write the entirety of Hamlet using only the bottoms of the shoes he owns. And he must make it fit on just the pairs of shoes he already has. So he’s out of luck if he only has one pair…

    3) I have two things I want to accomplish. A) Read all the classic literature pieces which those around me have deemed highly important, amusing, or intelligent. (A few on my list are Madame Bovary, The Picture of Dorian Grey, Mrs. Dalloway, Anna Karenina, and The Jungle) B) Meet the celebrities/politicians/authors which I believe have had a positive impact on my life or have simply entertained me to a very high level. (These include; Lily Tomlin, Patti LuPone, Hillary Clinton, Stockard Channing, Allison Janney, Cher…Yes, I know…I’m strange.)

    4. I would create the Literature Hall of Fame in order to further honor the classic and contemporary authors which have both entertained and educated the people of the world.

    posted by Jessica on 2-6-2009 at 3:56 pm

36. 1. i dont come across many resumes in my line of work, but my sister is in human resources. She told me the other day she got a resume for a janitorial position in which the woman wrote about he ghost hunting in previous work experience.

    2. i always loved the idea of writing an essay on the history of cheating if you got caught cheating and then of course having to read it aloud to the class.

    3. the utmost self confidence. I seem to get more with age and im hoping by 2014 im pretty much all the way there.

    4. How about the mental floss book giveaway hall of fame. I would love to be in that one!

    posted by Kaitlyn on 2-6-2009 at 4:15 pm

37. 1. Most random encounter on a resume would have to be: Extensive experience as a D&D dungeon master. We hired him under the condition that he would be paid in experience points.

    2. I would take the cheating student aside and tell him that cheating is a legitimate real world skill and, in many cases, the only one that will get you ahead. I would tell him to work harder at it if he wanted to succeed in it at a college level.

    3. To be mentioned in the Mental Floss magazine. Even if only in a footnote.

    4. I’d take the ten million and build a hall of fame to myself and then live in it.

    posted by Latt on 2-6-2009 at 4:15 pm

38. 1. I’ve never done it, but I’ve always wanted to list “Coma. It was awesome.” as a description for down time between jobs.

    2. I would doom him to made-for-tv movies and theatrical released like “Fireproof”. It may be against Geneva conventions, but I don’t care!

    3. In the next five years I want to make a movie.

    4. The money should be spent to create a hall of fame for The Most Financially Irresponsible Hair Metal Bands of The Mid-to-Late 80′s, and it should be built in the Faroe Islands.

    posted by Matt on 2-6-2009 at 4:18 pm

39. 1) The strangest thing I have ever put on a résumé – and I still have a chuckle every now and again at my naiveté – would be a list of my favorite books. I suppose it’s similar to your own list of favorite movies with one glaring exception: I hadn’t actually read all of the books on my list. I was young and applying for a local librarian position that had opened up and I felt that I could pad my résumé with some great American classics. My white lie earned me an interview and thought that I was a shoe-in… until I was asked about what I enjoyed about Herman Melville’s writing. My fib was quickly discovered and I was, politely, asked to leave.

    2) If I was Mr. DeWitt and had caught a student cheating (or intending to) I would force the student to take all future tests with the worst student in class. Whatever grade that student earned my cheater would earn too. It would force the cheater to help the slacker study more and get better grades.

    3)There is a long list of things I hope to have accomplished by 2014 but none of them are really all that creative or funny.
    a. FINALLY earn my Bachelor’s degree.
    b. FINALLY marry my long-time fiancée.
    c. Obtain one of those “real jobs” everyone else is talking about.
    d. Run a marathon (I don’t even work out, so this one should be fun).
    e. Obtain a leading role in a film, TV show, or play (I don’t act so this one will be even more fun).

    4)My Hall of Fame would celebrate America’s Heroes. This is something the average American citizen tends to forget about in this day and age of sound-bites stating a new daily “hero” on the local news. I’m sorry, local news, but the guy who trained that squirrel to water ski in NOT a hero – neither is the latest celebrity who bounces back from an addiction. Nominees could not be inducted until at least twenty-five years after the heroic action(s) took place. Also, the said hero must be an American citizen but do not have to be American born.

    I live in Michigan and our economy could sincerely use the boost for construction and the continued tourist income. So, I would build the American Hero Hall of Fame in Grand Rapids, MI (hopefully near the Gerald R. Ford Museum). Choosing the inaugural class is difficult because there are SO many eligible! I guess, starting from before the Revolutionary War through 1983 (25+ years), here would be the first ten individuals (in no particular order): George Washington, Albert Einstein, John Adams, Sacajawea, Susan B. Anthony, Frederick Douglass, Geronimo, Theodore Roosevelt, Martin Luthor King, Abraham Lincoln.

    Naturally, this is a short list off the top of my head – there may be a multitude of more deserving honorees.

    posted by Josh F on 2-6-2009 at 4:47 pm

40. 1. i don’t see many resumes either, but i did get one that just had an insane amount of information on it. he was just out of college and it was already two pages. it had a mission statement, an objective, the standard school and work history, and then he had all of his contact info and his social security number. why did he feel the need to list his soc. sec. number on his resume? wasn’t he taught to keep that piece of information privileged? weird.

    3. in the year 2014, i hope to have decided what i want to do with my life and will have begun working toward it. i do not want to work in retail my whole life. **sigh**

    posted by the creature on 2-6-2009 at 4:54 pm

41. 1. I haven’t had the pleasure (?) of being on the receiving end of resumes to review, so I will answer the 2nd part of the question and I’d have to say that the strangest thing on my own resume (of the past) was the URL to my portfolio site that did not have its own URL but was hosted free by Yahoo. I think its weird because once in a phone interview I was asked what I did for Yahoo. :) I have my own URL now.

    2. If I had overwhelming evidence that a student was cheating on a test, that they did well on, and they insisted that they didn’t cheat, I would let them retake the test. If they admitted to cheating or did badly anyway, then really there’s no point in the retake. Let them have their crappy score, or give them a failing score if they admitted to cheating.

    3. In 5 years I hope the economy is better so I can sell my house and live somewhere that isn’t a cookie-cutter creation but preferably something that Kris and I had built ourselves. If not that, at least something further south, but not in Seattle (too expensive there) and with some space inside and out for us to stretch and have a big(ger) dog.

    4. I would have a hall of fame celebrating PUNS! I would build it along the Olde Mann River, north of the Jane Plains and the Gump Forest. My inaugural class of inductees would be: Ann Chovey, Chris P. Bacon, Barb Akew, Minnie Van Ryder, and, of course, Ben Dover.

    posted by Krissie on 2-6-2009 at 4:57 pm

42. 1. I have a few. The craziest stuff is written under Interests: “Reading, dancing, photography, baking, coloring, organizing, and color-coding” for an accounting job, and another young man wrote “Enjoy writing on subjects such as Aliens” for an engineering job. Here’s another: “Listening to Rock music, LAN Gaming, etc.”

    posted by Mary on 2-6-2009 at 5:02 pm

43. 1. No experience with resumes. You don’t need one in the military.

    2. No mercy for cheaters. Zero all the way.

    3. My first and foremost by 2014 is to have a kid. I’m waiting til I leave the military in 2010, so my first should be 4 by then, maybe another on the way if all goes well.

    4. American Idol Hall of Fame!! Of course the winners would be in there but the major honorees would be: Chris Daughtry, Jennifer Hudson, Kellie Pickler, and Clay Aiken. They are all non-winners that went on to do something with their time on TV. I would of course have a hall of shame in which people like William Hung, Sanjaya, and this season’s inevitable train wrecks of “Bikini Girl” and “Norman Gentle” would be inducted. I think I’d shape the building like Ryan Seacrest’s head. He doesn’t get enough love on the show.

    posted by Tricia on 2-6-2009 at 5:04 pm

44. Sorry bout my typo on number 3. It should say “so my first should be born by then..”

    No idea where the 4 came from.

    posted by Tricia on 2-6-2009 at 5:06 pm

45. 1) I had a resume just last week that listed “I voted for O’Bama”- the President’s Irish brother I guess.

    Also had one that was soaked- and I mean SOAKED- in perfume for an IT manager position; another that listed “3,500% ROI at Vegas craps tables” for a business manager slot; “Lost over 180 pounds in one year”; and my favorite “willing and able to perform anything you ask.” I didn’t have the guts to follow through with an interview on that last one.

    posted by ZenDog on 2-6-2009 at 6:01 pm

46. 3. More to the point, what are you doing ON your 30th? My 30th is coming up, too, and I can’t decide how to celebrate it.

    4. Is there already a Darwin Awards hall of fame? It would be a funny, yet cautionary, attraction, with full-sized animatronic models of some of the sillier stories.

    posted by MH on 2-6-2009 at 6:39 pm

47. Our office had a post office box that was formerly the property of a medical clinic. We received tons of resumes that were absolutely horrible. The worst were the doctors that simply typed additions onto horribly xeroxed resumes, which presumably made the older typos harder to read. Of course, the worst resume comments ever were in my retail days, all adding personal stories of woe, such as “homeless” “just out of jail” and “couldn’t work for a boss that was such an idiot.”

    posted by OtherDaniel on 2-6-2009 at 7:43 pm

48. In response to the post by “M” at 2:34- Wow. A bit harsh aren’t you? “…there is no reason that I should do extra work to get them back on track” Really? As a teacher, aren’t you supposed to do whatever you can to educate the student? Are you that quick to abondon them?

    I realize that cheating is a horrible thing and that some punishment is necessary, but does it need to be so harsh? Repeating what I posted earlier-

    Without allowing him to use his notes, I would have the cheating student teach a review lesson (of the quiz) to the rest of the class. The rest of the students would be allowed to ask questions which the cheater would have to handle. (I would give the cheater one day to brush up on the subject.)

    This way the student would hopefully learn his lesson while still learning THE lesson.

    posted by Mike on 2-6-2009 at 8:15 pm

49. 1) Not a resume, per se, but the company I work for did have a job applicant tell one of the owners that when she wanted a job with another company, she camped out in their parking lot and followed the owner in when he arrived. Luckily, our address isn’t public!

    posted by Meri on 2-6-2009 at 10:44 pm

50. 4. I would try to recreate the “House of Fame” from Chaucer’s House of Fame. It would be pretty unique, with the melting ice on the outside showing that fame fades, and the statues of varying heights and metals on the inside. I especially think it would be fun to have it completely mirrored on all sides with fun house mirrors (on the inside) because that’s the only way it could appear to grow and shrink. It would be a hall of fame in a museum, amusement park sort of fashion.

    posted by Sarah on 2-7-2009 at 12:43 am

51. 1. while going through the job applications recently turned in at my former place of employ- the line the still near-addles my brain is this: “Q.Reason for leaving your last job: A. Fired for sexual assault- not arrested. Will explain at interview.”

    i don’t fancy that she (yes, she) got many interviews with that one.

    2. They’d have to re-take the test that I’d made myself, and they’d have to write a paper on either the subject, or how wrong it is to cheat- not only are you doing wrong by your hard working teacher, but you’re also cheating yourself out of a good, FREE education that a lot of the world’s people don’t have access to.

    3. i want to go back to school and eventually work in a museum- working with artifacts, discovering the small clues about how people lived, worked and died in the ancient world. i want to help people better understand where we come from, and who we used to be.

    posted by em on 2-7-2009 at 4:16 am

52. (3) By 2014, I want to have begun to learn another language after reaching conversational fluency in the ones I’m studying now. (I’m trying to become an exception to the stereotype that says Americans only speak English.)

    (4) Everyday Inventor Hall of Fame: a celebration of those people who invented things that we use in our everyday lives without giving them a second thought. Inductees would, of course, include people like Leonardo da Vinci (for the scissors), Benjamin Franklin (for, among other things, bifocals), and Thomas Edison (for the lightbulb), but some others would be:
    -Samuel B. Fay, inventor of the paper clip
    -Josephine Cochrane, inventor of the modern dishwasher
    -Phillip E. Meyers, inventor of the Scrunchie

    There would also be historical exhibits detailing the rise of such conveniences as contact lenses or forks (which did not come from one single person), and a hall featuring some of the most bizarre patents or inventions.

    posted by Monika on 2-7-2009 at 11:35 am

53. My hall of fame would celebrate teachers. I think tehy’re the most highly skilled, under appreciated group. It would be built in Ohio (because that’s where the best hall of fame buildings are located) We would be commemorating the successful drive of the abolishment of NCLB. The first 10 inductees would be teachers from our past. People would enter a drawing to have their favorite teacher remembered and honored for making a difference in the lives of their children.

    posted by Jennifer on 2-7-2009 at 1:01 pm

54. I have worked in Human Resources for many years and some of the resumes that come in are very strange.
    My favorite was when I was working in the UK, where at the time it was very common for application forms to ask candidates’ Marital Status. One applicant filled in the answer “2-3 times a week”. I guess he thought we wanted to know more about his life than simply if he was single, married or divorced….

    posted by Liz on 2-8-2009 at 10:40 am

55. Strangest thing I’ve ever put on a resume: Technically, it was an application. We were given a very long application to be a resident assistant in college. About half way through, I was getting bored. I figured that those reading 50 or 60 of these would be getting bored as well. One of the questions at that point of the application asked what other people would say about you. I answered the question honestly, but then ended with “In the words of my kindergarten teacher, plays well with others, occasionally runs with scissors.” I got the job.

    After that, I used that on the bottom of most of resumes.

    posted by Amber on 2-8-2009 at 4:24 pm

56. By 2014 I would like to be a belly-dancing, comparative religion graduate student living outside the United States.

    posted by Amber on 2-8-2009 at 4:27 pm

57. I was a project manager for a education software company. We were hiring for an instructional designer position. I received a resume that not only used the kid handwriting in crayon font for the header but under the section of Other Interests the applicant put the line “Clowning around as Bubblelina”. I begged my boss to let me bring her in for an interview just to see if she showed up with the big shoes on.

    posted by Bill Johnson on 2-10-2009 at 6:01 pm

58. 1. I used to put ‘Snake Handling’ as a a skill on my resume. This (non-existant for me) skill was, suprisingly, not required in the two jobs I got with this version of my resume: barista and substitute teacher.

    2. If I had impunity from the school district and the students’ mothers? I would make them re-take the test in front of a higher grade level class, verbally, with limited time to respond.

    3. Before you’re thirty, you need to do something hokey in public, like act out a song-and-dance seen from West Side Story in a mall. That kind of stuff is frowned upon coming from adults, but if you’re “just a twentysomething kid” it can be dismissed.

    4. People Who Have Left Their Religion and Lived Through the Persectution
    - Kathy Worthington (Mormon)
    - Juliana Dever (Jehovah’s Witness)
    - Ruth Irene Garrett (Amish)
    among others…

    Bonus recaptcha – leanings 29!

    posted by Sarah on 2-13-2009 at 2:08 pm

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