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We’re back with another cartoon by regular _floss reader, the multi-talented Robert Bonotto. To repeat the rules, the idea here is quite simple: Your job is to come up with a gag. Make us smile, make us laugh, extra-points for those who are able to drop some interesting fact or trivia along the way. We’ll narrow down the entries to our favorites and then let YOU guys pick one winner. As with last time, when dropping your gag in the comments, also let us know which t-shirt you prefer in case your caption is selected the winner. (T-shirts can be found over in our store.) Enter as often as you like, so long as each caption is in a separate comment.
Lastly, if you’re good with the pen and think you’d like to contribute a cartoon of your own for a future caption contest, or want to pitch me an idea for one, please leave a comment and I’ll be in touch with you via e-mail.
click cartoon to enlarge/focus
Comments (143)
Comment
- Follow mental_floss
Excuse me sir, but you’re sitting on the swizzle stick.
posted by Lazlo on 2-11-2009 at 11:58 am
We were going to have Gibsons but we’re all out of giant pearl onions
posted by Andrea on 2-11-2009 at 12:08 pm
Care for a Marhugi?
posted by deej on 2-11-2009 at 12:09 pm
This is our economy size. Drink it and you won’t worry about the economy.
posted by Patrick B on 2-11-2009 at 12:13 pm
This is why I love coming to Texas.
posted by Andrew on 2-11-2009 at 12:17 pm
Having fallen on hard times, Pod Clock hits the sauce.
posted by Abi on 2-11-2009 at 12:18 pm
“He’s a BIG James Bond fan”
Palindromes T-Shirt please
posted by NateJ on 2-11-2009 at 12:18 pm
Mr. Pliny! Olive it! You are the only person that requests the giant Brijuni olives!
posted by Jim B on 2-11-2009 at 12:21 pm
Everyone has to economize at Sam’s Club!
posted by Jen on 2-11-2009 at 12:21 pm
“Barkeep, another Mar-not-so-tini please.”
Palindrome T-Shirt please
posted by NateJ on 2-11-2009 at 12:22 pm
Mr. Pliny! Olive it! You are the only person that requests the giant Brijuni olives! I love Pi XXL
posted by Jim B on 2-11-2009 at 12:23 pm
“Hey Frank, don’t forget the Megalodon Toothpick”
(Bam extra knowledge)
Palindrome T-Shirt please
posted by NateJ on 2-11-2009 at 12:32 pm
It’s about time we put that stimulus check to good use.
“Judicial system rules” shirt please.
posted by Patric on 2-11-2009 at 12:34 pm
What?!! You’ve never heard of bathtub gin?
posted by steve on 2-11-2009 at 12:39 pm
I asked for a Lindsay olive, not a olive of unusual size.
posted by Patric on 2-11-2009 at 12:39 pm
If you can finish it in an hour, the liver transplant is free!
posted by Sean Murphy on 2-11-2009 at 12:42 pm
I asked for the Lindsay olives not the Lindsey Lohan olives.
posted by Patric on 2-11-2009 at 12:42 pm
“It’s just a little test…If I’m still conscious after this, I’m headed to rehab.
posted by Daryl on 2-11-2009 at 12:42 pm
I specifically asked for the Perrier de Perroux, NOT the Chateau de Gateaux! And what’s with the giant olives?
Would love the Rhesus shirt
posted by Jordan on 2-11-2009 at 12:47 pm
“Bartender, this drink is far larger than I expected it to be.”
pluto xl
posted by Branford on 2-11-2009 at 12:49 pm
The price of a large martini: $150.
Not remembering how much you spent the next day: Priceless.
posted by Shelly on 2-11-2009 at 12:49 pm
I’m really not overcompensating…
For my previous entry and this entry, my T-shirt selection would be the tomato one.
posted by Shelly on 2-11-2009 at 12:51 pm
The BALCO martini – A performance-enhancing drink.
Pavlov
posted by JasonHendo on 2-11-2009 at 12:55 pm
“If you think that’s impressive, you should see our nuts.”
palindromes, XL
posted by Jon on 2-11-2009 at 12:57 pm
John begins his long night of initiation into the Wall Street Fraternity.
Palindrome T-Shirt please
posted by NateJ on 2-11-2009 at 1:00 pm
“Olive another glass. Make is stronger this time.”
posted by Dr Baker on 2-11-2009 at 1:00 pm
“That’s nothing. You should see the umbrellas we use for our Carribean Punch!”
Pavlov
posted by JasonHendo on 2-11-2009 at 1:03 pm
Even the Jolly Green Giant needs to unwind sometimes. You should see what the Keebler Elves will knock back!
Tomato shirt, XL
posted by Graham on 2-11-2009 at 1:04 pm
Pardon me..but I ordered the LARGE.
posted by Scott S on 2-11-2009 at 1:05 pm
Seeking a way out of drinking the alcoholic monstrosity, Herschel made a scene of Roy’s lack of sanitized hands and walked out, feigning anger at the disgusting olive wrangling conditions at Chateau de Tremble non Remue.
inconsistency, XL
posted by Alex on 2-11-2009 at 1:09 pm
“I figure this way I only have to serve each customer one drink a night”
palindromes
posted by Jon on 2-11-2009 at 1:09 pm
You should see the other dry.
posted by Southpaw Jones on 2-11-2009 at 1:11 pm
I think you misunderstood when I said i needed you to plana party for the New York Giants.
posted by Rob on 2-11-2009 at 1:13 pm
Oh, that one?
It’s for “Bondzilla, James Bondzilla”
posted by owen on 2-11-2009 at 1:13 pm
I promised her one drink a night, and dammit Bob I keep my promises.
posted by Graham on 2-11-2009 at 1:15 pm
Introducing the new “Koi Pond martini.” It’s like the “Bird Bath Margarita”…only snootier.
Pluto women’s medium
posted by Heather Dawn on 2-11-2009 at 1:15 pm
Patron: OH! Is Dita von Teese going to dance in the giant Martini?!
Barkeep: Nope, it’s for Hemmingway, he’s going into battle.
(haha catch the Quick 10 reference?)
:o)
posted by Lindsey on 2-11-2009 at 1:17 pm
Sam’s club diversifies with “CLUB SAM”
posted by Rob on 2-11-2009 at 1:18 pm
Frank mistakingly went into the wrong bar, and little did he know the olives werent going in his glass…but he was close. *Chistian sects shirt please LG*
posted by Jonathon on 2-11-2009 at 1:22 pm
And they say inflation is a bad thing.
Rhesus women’s medium
posted by Heather Dawn on 2-11-2009 at 1:22 pm
Sorry, before you got here we’d heard you were a big drinker.
Scurvy shirt
posted by Zeke on 2-11-2009 at 1:23 pm
“You did say you wanted it extra dirty…”
idioms, L
posted by Kevin H on 2-11-2009 at 1:23 pm
That’s NOT what I meant when I said I’d buy everyone a round!
(natural selection/large)
posted by Keith on 2-11-2009 at 1:23 pm
Where are you gonna get enough olives for a martini that si-…oh.
Hokey Pokey women’s medium
posted by Heather Dawn on 2-11-2009 at 1:26 pm
The economy starts drinking when she gets depressed…
idioms, L
posted by Kevin H on 2-11-2009 at 1:30 pm
If you can’t drown your sorrows in that…I don’t know what to do for ya’.
palindromes women’s med.
posted by Heather Dawn on 2-11-2009 at 1:32 pm
Frank couldnt decide what was more disterbing, the man touching his giant olive or the bar tender asking him to smell his finger…*chistian sects shirt LG*
posted by jonathon on 2-11-2009 at 1:32 pm
How do you garnish a giant martini??
Tomato women’s med
posted by Heather Dawn on 2-11-2009 at 1:35 pm
now listen here, barkeep! i ordered the comically-oversized DIRTY martini!
forever jung, med
posted by els on 2-11-2009 at 1:37 pm
“i know, Costco IS awesome!”
posted by LeoFunes on 2-11-2009 at 1:38 pm
HEY !! You wait just a minute ! That wasnt part of the deal !!! * chistian sects shirt LG*
posted by Jonathon on 2-11-2009 at 1:40 pm
Oh…not this time! I’m foiling your evil plan barkeep. Fool me once…shame on me…fool me twice…and I get another giant toothpick puncturing my esophagus.
Palindrome shirt
posted by Brian S. on 2-11-2009 at 1:40 pm
I can’t wait to see my order of mozzarella sticks! Pi tshirt XXL
posted by Jim B on 2-11-2009 at 1:43 pm
“this ain’t no stinkin starbucks pal–you said grande, you get grande!…”
posted by brianbcn on 2-11-2009 at 1:43 pm
“look, iran has to store it’s nuclear waste SOMEWHERE. and i’m strapped for cash. i’ve also got a couple of gitmo detainees next to the fridge…and all those toxic assets i was told to hang on to are being used as coasters.”
posted by leo funes on 2-11-2009 at 1:43 pm
We ran the irrigation channel through A-Rod’s backyard.
ladies’ small “easy as 3.141592 please!
posted by Kristin on 2-11-2009 at 1:44 pm
This Flores Man lifestyle can be Hobbit-forming.
posted by Bryan on 2-11-2009 at 1:45 pm
“Sorry sir when we ran your card it came back “rejected capped at 500,000″. Don’t feel bad the last wall street guy had to trade in his stocks just to get a giant olive”
Scury shirt
posted by Zeke on 2-11-2009 at 1:45 pm
“Sir, I promise you: you’ve never had a martini so good as when the olives are bigger than your head.”
-Constitution, XL
posted by John on 2-11-2009 at 1:47 pm
Hey…what are you trying to pull! Don’t you know Charles Gibson was my great-grandfather. You just tell him to turn right around and find some giant onions in that “stock” of yours.
Palindrome shirt, large
posted by Brian S. on 2-11-2009 at 1:50 pm
Sally realized as she watched frank order her drink that this wasnt the business meeting she had been led to believe… *Chistian sects shirt LG*
posted by Jonathon on 2-11-2009 at 1:50 pm
You haven’t seen that Gulliver fellow hanging around here, have you? Pi XXL
posted by Jim B on 2-11-2009 at 1:51 pm
“don’t worry sir, by the end of this drink, you’ll look as good as she feels…”
posted by bcnbrian on 2-11-2009 at 1:55 pm
Is that a giant olive pit in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Pi XXL
posted by Jim B on 2-11-2009 at 1:55 pm
What caused Gulliver’s flashbacks of Brobdingnag
-Constitution, XL
posted by John on 2-11-2009 at 1:56 pm
One bathtub martini, please
Hey, John! We’re gonna need one of those basketball sized olives!
Lady MacBeth handsoap, x-large
posted by Sara in Alabama on 2-11-2009 at 2:03 pm
The way he’s handling those olives, I’ll take the champagne.
Tomato, size M (unisex)
posted by Jen on 2-11-2009 at 2:08 pm
have you seen today’s economy? have you seen it through the bottom of a giant martini glass!?
posted by monkeypoo on 2-11-2009 at 2:09 pm
Is that the stimulus package?
“english major shirt please”
posted by Zaneta B on 2-11-2009 at 2:11 pm
whoa.. Deja Vu …
* chistian sects LG*
posted by jonathon on 2-11-2009 at 2:13 pm
Is that the stimulus package?
“English major shirt please (s)”
posted by Zaneta on 2-11-2009 at 2:13 pm
Warning: For external use only
posted by Zaneta B on 2-11-2009 at 2:18 pm
Oh, that? Fred Flintstone is one of our regulars.
Pluto L
posted by Scott on 2-11-2009 at 2:24 pm
Jaun-¿qué es eso?
bartender- sorry buddy i dont speak french
posted by Jonathon on 2-11-2009 at 2:24 pm
Are you two trying to take advantage of me?
posted by Zaneta B on 2-11-2009 at 2:25 pm
Are you sure that you are ready to start The George Burns Diet? You know he did almost make it to 100.
Anything in XL, they are all good.
posted by John Parry on 2-11-2009 at 2:25 pm
Mr. Little, we just ran out all the good stuff so we had to raid the Biggs’ liquor cabinet and kitchen upstairs.
posted by Christina on 2-11-2009 at 2:27 pm
Oh! You said drown your sorrows? I thought you said you wanted to drown.
posted by christina on 2-11-2009 at 2:31 pm
Now that’s what I call a stimulus package!
posted by Kevin on 2-11-2009 at 2:31 pm
“If you want to be served another drink, you better do something about those measly tips. They’re the pits!”
(Christian Sects – Large)
posted by Scott P on 2-11-2009 at 2:33 pm
So _that’s_ how Wall Street executives are spending the bailout money.
Pluto L
posted by Scott on 2-11-2009 at 2:33 pm
Is there some kind of breast on the menu…?
posted by Mark H on 2-11-2009 at 2:34 pm
The Oversized-Martini (because a pool would be too big).
Constitution Men’s Large
posted by Tim on 2-11-2009 at 2:35 pm
Oh no,Sir, we would NEVER water down your drink.
posted by christina on 2-11-2009 at 2:36 pm
My AA counselor is going to kill me!
posted by Zaneta B on 2-11-2009 at 2:39 pm
You know what just gimme the bottle.
posted by CJ on 2-11-2009 at 2:44 pm
Trust me, you want the big one…
Your accountant will be with you shortly.
posted by Troy Lee Wells on 2-11-2009 at 2:45 pm
Wow!! Simply amazing….I’ve never seen anything like it….It’s got to be pound for pound the lightest weight jar in the world!!!
“pluto” shirt
posted by Thad on 2-11-2009 at 2:50 pm
“Seeple pay *hic* I drink tee many martoonies…one a day boss..that’s all I *hic* have, one a day!”
Hokey Pokey large…
posted by Dan on 2-11-2009 at 2:55 pm
Yes, and I’d like that super-sized…
posted by K. Shep on 2-11-2009 at 3:01 pm
Wow!! Simply amazing…I’ve never seen anything like it…It’s got to be, pound for pound, the lightest weight jar in the world!! Let me guess…..Silica aerogel??
(a little fact dropping for the points!)
“pluto” shirt
posted by Thad on 2-11-2009 at 3:07 pm
Don’t worry buddy…one of these and you’ll be surrounded by beautiful women. *wink*
Tomato women’s medium
posted by Heather Dawn on 2-11-2009 at 3:09 pm
Absolutely I want the Brobdingnag Martini – and whoever heard of House of Cake champagne anyway.
posted by MHB on 2-11-2009 at 3:24 pm
We make these all the time for Angela Merkel! Loves em! Says they make her hands seem small.
posted by philip on 2-11-2009 at 3:30 pm
For those days when you feel like having a martini in a Big Gulp – with a little more class.
posted by Nick on 2-11-2009 at 3:34 pm
Okay, seriously. Chateau de Gateau? With a pic of a cat in a house? I’ve heard of Spanglish, but “Frenxican?”
posted by Heather Dawn on 2-11-2009 at 4:07 pm
Randolph hoped that large glasses and over-sized olives would distract from the Dollar Store liquor he was serving.
Pluto med. womens
posted by Time on my hands on 2-11-2009 at 4:09 pm
Lou, your kidding! Hemingway, Dubya, and Paris Hilton all got there start right here?
posted by Jimmy on 2-11-2009 at 4:13 pm
Barkeep: “Now was that one olive or two?”
PI XL
posted by Cass on 2-11-2009 at 4:14 pm
-”Your olives are huge!” -”That’s what she said.”
posted by RELUNDFORD on 2-11-2009 at 4:19 pm
Randoph used large glasses and oversized garnish, to distract his customers from Dollar Store liquor he was serving.
posted by Time on my hands on 2-11-2009 at 4:27 pm
Deflated from his defeat on the Hill, Tim stumbled to his local speakeasy with a stimulus package to please everyone.
Hyperbole, Women’s M
posted by liz on 2-11-2009 at 4:39 pm
@ Heather – gateau is French, gato is Spanish
posted by norkio on 2-11-2009 at 4:40 pm
A guy walks into a bar…
Tomato shirt, please.
posted by Shelly on 2-11-2009 at 4:58 pm
Lou, your kidding! Hemingway, Dubya, and Paris Hilton all got there start right here?
rhesus XL
posted by Jimmy on 2-11-2009 at 4:59 pm
It’s not the size that matters, it’s how you drink it.
Tomato shirt
posted by Shelly on 2-11-2009 at 5:00 pm
The new super sized martini’s finally gave Jim a chance to use that 5 gallon jar of olives he bought at Costco.
posted by Steve Robillard on 2-11-2009 at 5:15 pm
“I’m sorry sir, but I simply do not have the upper body strength to serve your drink shaken”
Palindrome T-Shirt please
posted by NateJ on 2-11-2009 at 5:17 pm
“Let’s see, 1 oz. of alcohol for every serving and there’s 28 servings. So that’s… 28 oz. of alcohol! That’s just outrageous, give me the giant glass of champagne instead.”
posted by chuck on 2-11-2009 at 5:17 pm
After a disastrous mission leaves M, Q, and his one night stand all dead, Bond drowns his sorrows.
Palindrome T-Shirt please
posted by NateJ on 2-11-2009 at 5:18 pm
It’s so I can honestly tell the officer I only had one drink. Don’t judge me.
I love lucy large
posted by chuck on 2-11-2009 at 5:19 pm
Moderation, children, moderation.
Palindromes large
posted by chuck on 2-11-2009 at 5:22 pm
The doctor said one glass a day, i think i can handle that.
hokey pokey anonymous please
posted by Ben O on 2-11-2009 at 5:27 pm
“…and it was first served to Sir Winston in ‘45 when he stopped in for a nip on his way to Trafalgar, and we have been serving it on May 8 every year since in his honour!”
posted by John on 2-11-2009 at 5:37 pm
What kind of bar are you running? I ordered a LARGE martini.
posted by Bryan on 2-11-2009 at 5:55 pm
OLIVE the smell of martinis in the evening!
posted by AMY on 2-11-2009 at 6:22 pm
Some men are SHAKEN by the sheer size of this baby, others are STIRRED by the challenge to drink it all… where do you stand, sir?
posted by Amy on 2-11-2009 at 6:29 pm
“Although he did indeed invent the sport of basketball, James Naismith didn’t start with balls and peach baskets…”
rocket surgery
large
posted by william mckelvey on 2-11-2009 at 8:15 pm
Yes, sir, The Magnum Opus is our most expensive drink, but if you finish the olive, it’s on the house.
Rhesus men’s XL
posted by Pam on 2-11-2009 at 8:31 pm
“Well, one drink can’t hurt…”
I heart math t-shirt please
posted by Jude on 2-11-2009 at 9:12 pm
“You guys really take this ‘Happy Hour’ thing seriously, don’t you?”
I heart math t-shirt, as above, please… I forgot to mention size XL.
posted by Jude on 2-11-2009 at 9:19 pm
Who knew you can only spend those giant novelty checks at one store?
posted by Matt on 2-11-2009 at 9:53 pm
Patron: “What’s taking so long?”
Bartender: “Relax. It’s not complete without the special ingredient.”
Guy on stairs, thinking: **I just don’t understand why people like these urine soaked olives so much.**
posted by Mike on 2-11-2009 at 10:31 pm
…forgot the shirt. “I’m no rocket surgeon” Lg (I have a medium, but it doesn’t quite fit… probably because of my huge muscles.)
posted by Mike on 2-11-2009 at 10:34 pm
Patron:”Wait a minute. I wanted ‘Maison du Chien’”
Bartender:”Je ne parle pas d’anglais, Senor.”
Guy on stairs, thinking: **So THIS is where I lost my ring.**
I’m no rocket surgeon. Lg
posted by Mike on 2-11-2009 at 10:47 pm
You think the giant wine bottle and martini glass are a crazy gag bud, then just wait till you see what the stock boy brings down!
Mental_Floss Logo T-Shirt
XXL.
Thanks!
posted by Alex Aceves on 2-11-2009 at 10:59 pm
“You know, if history repeats itself, prohibition’s next. So drink up!”
posted by Billy on 2-11-2009 at 11:02 pm
With the new economy size, we’ll have to get really drunk.
Ship Happens, men’s medium
posted by Will R on 2-11-2009 at 11:23 pm
My bad, sir, I thought you were saying ‘Olive what she’s having’, not *asking* ‘Olive… what’s SHE having?’
posted by Amy on 2-11-2009 at 11:36 pm
Despite economic woes, life at Citigroup’s private bar, “The Stockroom,” continues as normal.
Women’s hokey pokey please
posted by Kristin on 2-12-2009 at 12:38 am
Excuse me, I thought I asked for an onion.
M Palindromes
posted by Jenna on 2-12-2009 at 8:45 am
The derivation of the term “Coming out of the closet.”
Hyperbole- L
posted by Dan on 2-12-2009 at 12:15 pm
Looking at the giant olives and wine bottle, Winthrop felt hopelessly inadequate. He knew his only hope to feel like a man laid in the giant martini.
Tomato shirt, XL
posted by Shelly on 2-12-2009 at 1:03 pm
“Oh him? He used to work in some Wonka guy’s Chocolate Factory.”
Natural selection/Large
posted by Keith on 2-12-2009 at 2:25 pm
“Bathroom? ‘Round back, sir.”
Pluto, M.
posted by Mike on 2-12-2009 at 2:35 pm
I don’t need no stinking olive. Bring me a straw!!!
Ladies Rocket Surgeon M
posted by Lizard on 2-12-2009 at 3:49 pm
“The olives too! That’s it, I’m kicking Wayne Szalinski out and i mean it this time!”
posted by Jay on 2-12-2009 at 9:12 pm
“Yes sir, the diamond-garnished martini is still available, but do remember that 8 of 10 women prefer palm-olives…”
posted by brianbcn on 2-13-2009 at 4:01 am
“I think you misheard me, I’m looking for Marge Lartini..”
posted by Dan on 2-13-2009 at 10:50 am
Ooopsie… Hokey Pokey Large!
posted by Dan on 2-13-2009 at 10:52 am
After just one sip of this, W.C. , you’ll be quite assured that no one has put pineapple juice in your pineapple juice!
[I feel I deserve 'Bonus Points' for using the MF'Cocktail Party Cheat Sheet' on the Martini!]
posted by Amy on 2-15-2009 at 10:26 am
“Don’t worry sir, the toilets are supersized too for the inevidable purge.”
posted by Jay on 2-16-2009 at 10:06 pm
Plastic? No sir, our swords came from Genghis Khan
posted by bentlythegreat on 2-18-2009 at 1:19 pm