Ransom Riggs
Vending Machine Victuals
by Ransom Riggs - February 18, 2009 - 7:30 AM

Following up on yesterday’s post about absurdly caloric foods you can make for yourself at home, today I wanted to explore food that comes from vending machines. Almost everyone’s bought a soda or a bag of chips from a machine at one time or another, but vending machine companies are always trying to expand our gastro-vendonomic horizons — sometimes to some very strange, and seemingly unappetizing, places. This is definitely not service with a smile.

For instance, there’s an Italian company that makes a pizza vending machine. With the push of a button, you can be chowing down on a Wonder Pizza in just 90 seconds! Check out this hi-tech demo:

If you have trouble getting a bartender’s attention (and you happen to live in the Czech Republic), thirst no more! Now you can get beer from vending machines.

If you think that’s cool, check out this draft beer vending machine in (where else?) Tokyo.

Also in Japan, you’ll soon be able to get your hands on a machine-vended steak, and people have been working on getting hamburger vending machines going for years — though why we’d need them when fast-food burger joints are so ubiquitous is a mystery to me. (Here’s a patent for a burger machine that serves up piping hot reconstituted steak portions. Yummm.)

The Hot Beef Sundae
Apparently, it’s a Nebraska thing. Color me morbidly curious. (Photo by Matt Stoller.)
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A natural companion to the Hot Beef Sundae is the somewhat easier-to-find gravy dispenser at Bob Evans. The great thing about this gravy is that it’s totally under your control; it doesn’t have to go on things that gravy is “supposed” to go on. (Like ice cream. Think about it.)
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What’s the weirdest vending machine food you’ve ever seen — or, dare we ask, eaten?

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Comments (26)

  1. Vend-a-Moo in Gafney SC. Its a giant cow and dispenses milk into a gallon jug, not unlike the water dispensers at grocery stores.

    posted by Andy on 2-18-2009 at 8:19 am

  2. I used to work for a company that manufactures vending machines. They were working on several different and “unique” machines at the time, including one that vended hot French Fries, actually fried in the machine. The problem ended up being that if someone didn’t clean the machine at least once a week, it might catch on fire. They also were working on one that vended CDs or DVDs. That actually worked well but I’ve never seen one in use anywhere.

    posted by Elizabeth on 2-18-2009 at 8:48 am

  3. Elizabeth, in my town we have a DVD vending machine at our Wal-Mart and it always has a line of people behind it. From the ad on the side of it, looks like you can rent a movie for $1, but you have to return it within one day.
    The one with the fries sounds like a giant roach trap.
    O_O

    posted by Michelle on 2-18-2009 at 8:56 am

  4. I’ve seen DVD dispensers at the resort we stay at every other year. And my boyfriend was stationed in Germany years (and years ago in the mid 70′s). He said they had vending machines over there that cooked fries in the machine and then vended them out. So not exactly a ‘new’ or ‘unique’ idea.

    posted by Vickey on 2-18-2009 at 8:59 am

  5. I’ve seen an IPOD vending machine at the airport….(what about putting songs on there?) and our mall here in portsmouth nh has a proactiv face wash vending machine…it’s huge

    posted by Adam on 2-18-2009 at 9:05 am

  6. While visiting Toledo, Spain, I remember both a fresh popcorn vending machine and a grilled-cheese vending machine at the bus station. I didn’t have the courage to try the sandwich…

    posted by ac on 2-18-2009 at 9:31 am

  7. I used to live in Japan and am very familair with beer vending machines. There was one right across the street from my apartment! You can get ANYTHING from a vending machine in Japan though(including underwear and sake).

    posted by Heather on 2-18-2009 at 9:39 am

  8. @Elizabeth & Michelle:
    Maybe it’s just a Southern/Midwestern thing, but DVD vending machines are all over the place down in here Texas (and also in St. Louis when I lived there a few years back). Redbox vends movies at a $1 a day (plus tax).

    You can also buy the movies for between $8 & $15. I used them all the time when I was too poor to even use Blockbuster. It’s actually a pretty good deal if you can find a time to go when they line isn’t super long.

    As for myself, DVD vending is about as weird as it gets for me.

    posted by nutmeag on 2-18-2009 at 9:46 am

  9. I thought Redbox was ubiquitous nowadays. Just about every store here in Rochester has them.

    I hate to rain on your parade, but I don’t think the Hot Beef Sundae is a vending machine. I think it just a sign on a food cart at a fair. They had them for sale at the NY State Fair, and while the name and the concept is kind of gross at first glance, it really isn’t that bad when you think about it. Mashed potatoes, roast beef, gravy, cheese and a cherry tomato. No worse than that KFC meal bowl thing they have now. Not that I would really want to eat something like that.

    When I was in college, our dorms got the french fry vending machines. They were great at 3 in the morning, coming back from a party. The permanent french fry smell in the dorms? Not so hot.

    posted by Jack on 2-18-2009 at 9:59 am

  10. I think that it is unique that they are now selling the previously by mail only Pro-Active, the celebrity endorsed skin cleanser, in vending machines throughout malls in America. I saw one in NJ and in FL.

    posted by Tracy on 2-18-2009 at 10:06 am

  11. Living in a rural Florida county with a lot of lakes, it’s not uncommon to see fish bait vending machines outside of the local Wal-Mart.

    posted by Shelly on 2-18-2009 at 10:07 am

  12. There are vending machines for ProActive Acne Solution at the mall near where I live. It even has a little LCD tv on it with Jessica Simpson telling you how clear her face is.

    I find the iPod vending machines just a bit much. I couldn’t bring myself to use a vending machine where the items cost over $100.

    posted by botanycreek on 2-18-2009 at 10:45 am

  13. Where is the gravy machine?? That rocks my socks!!! I would visit the gravy machine daily.

    Oh, and I agree with nutmeag and Jack…you can’t go anywhere in Kansas City without bumping into a Redbox. I have about 6 within 2 miles of my house.

    posted by Heather Dawn on 2-18-2009 at 11:16 am

  14. I can also attest to the existence of hot french fry vending machines. I saw these in Austria and just had to try one…I only did it once, but they really weren’t that bad.

    posted by Fruppi on 2-18-2009 at 11:17 am

  15. I have seen vending machines for LIVE BAIT! I have a pic on my phone…

    posted by Kevin on 2-18-2009 at 11:27 am

  16. There was a Heineken vending machine in the hallway of a hotel I stayed at in Amsterdam. I thought it was pretty cool when I was able to walk down the hall and buy a beer for my mom. Especially since I was 10 at the time.

    posted by Kathryn on 2-18-2009 at 11:29 am

  17. At my college in GA they have vending machines for computer ink which was pretty convientent. They also had vending machines that had easy mac, apples, oranges and those little personal cereal boxes. I never used any of them but walked by them everyday in the student center.

    posted by Rebecca on 2-18-2009 at 11:45 am

  18. I’ve seen the ProActive, the Redbox, the iPod, and the live bait vending machines. But I think my favorite is the Dippin’ Dots vending machine at the mall near Allentown, PA. Deep freeze ice cream from a vending machine, awesome.

    posted by Chelsea on 2-18-2009 at 11:49 am

  19. Ya’ll might not want to admit it, but I have certainly seen some pretty interesting items for sale in those “personal products” vending machines in the men’s restrooms at highway gas stations, especially the truck stop variety.

    posted by Scott on 2-18-2009 at 2:28 pm

  20. I once went to Japan and they had vending machines everywhere!!! one had anything from soda, to laundry soap, and even shirts

    posted by jeremiah on 2-18-2009 at 2:34 pm

  21. There’s a pecan pie vending machine outside of Austin, TX.

    posted by Austinista on 2-18-2009 at 3:49 pm

  22. I was intrigued by the idea of a hot dog vending machine and considering the sort of mechanisms that would be involved.

    Then my friend me they existed, and, further, told me the story of how his girlfriend’s uncle caught a brain amoeba after eating a hot dog from one. Darn.

    posted by Brian on 2-18-2009 at 5:20 pm

  23. My ex had a vending machine at his college that pretty much had everything you could buy at a gas station. It had full sized milk, orange juice, OTC, medicine, canned food, tampons, etc. I was just amazed by the sheer size of it.

    There’s also a cigarette vending machine at this tavern near my college. It’s notable because it’s illegal.

    posted by Kate on 2-18-2009 at 5:40 pm

  24. I stayed at a hotel in Korea that had a vending machine in the room; it sold condoms and sex toys as well as snacks (if you consider dried squid a snack).

    I’ll keep an eye out for the steak vending machine and report back to MF if I find it!

    posted by KarenInJapan on 2-19-2009 at 2:57 am

  25. I was waiting for someone to mention the “french-tickler”. This item which can be categorized as a “sex toy” (mentioned above) can usually be found in a vending machine about two feet away from a toilet in a bar/gas station that has had unmentionable things done in it. Usually it’s sold with off brand condoms and lube.

    posted by BW on 2-24-2009 at 12:16 pm

  26. In defense of Nebraska, I’ve lived here for almost 28 years and I’ve never seen a “hot beef sundae.”

    posted by Ssquach on 2-24-2009 at 9:27 pm

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