I’d promised that our next book giveaway would be a haiku contest and asked for topic ideas. Jami Drost* offered this suggestion:
With the impending comeback of the Pet Rock (complete with the promise of promotional scavenger hunts in six cities this April), it might be fun to make the haiku a tribute to a favorite toy or fad from your childhood.
So let’s hear it. G.I. Joe? My Little Pony? M.A.S.K.? Start counting syllables and hit us with your ode-to-toy haikus. The best, as selected by an esteemed panel of freelance judges, wins a copy of Discover Your Inner Economist by Tyler Cowen.
*You may remember Jami Drost from such posts as Name the Top Ten Dog Names in 5 Minutes and Town Slogan Contest Winners!!. She is on a tear, and she just won a t-shirt for her topic-suggesting prowess.
Comments (134)
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He-Man Battle Cat
Rode together for years till
Mom sold at yard sale
posted by John on 2-19-2009 at 2:26 pm
Hard to be a teen
Hard to be a ninja, but
A turtle? Awesome!
posted by NateJ on 2-19-2009 at 2:33 pm
He-Man likes to yell:
“By the power of Grayskull,
I have the power!”
posted by Kale on 2-19-2009 at 2:33 pm
O Tamagotchi!
Like a Phoenix, dead daily
In my school locker.
posted by Kim on 2-19-2009 at 2:35 pm
Switched it from above, new poem is…
Hard to be a teen
Hard to be a turtle, but
A ninja? Awesome!
posted by NateJ on 2-19-2009 at 2:35 pm
for my money
nothing beats cardboard box and
imagination
posted by Bob on 2-19-2009 at 2:38 pm
O Tamagotchi!
Like a Phoenix, dead daily,
In my school locker.
posted by Kim on 2-19-2009 at 2:39 pm
Forty one Barbies
And only owned one Ken doll
Ken sure is a pimp.
posted by Holly on 2-19-2009 at 2:39 pm
O Tamagotchi!
Like a phoenix, dead daily
In my school locker
posted by Kim on 2-19-2009 at 2:40 pm
Click clack Lego’s stack
A boring cube turns into
imagination
posted by NateJ on 2-19-2009 at 2:41 pm
Star Wars toy figures
Imagined using the force
Until small parts lost.
posted by Michael on 2-19-2009 at 2:42 pm
oops sorry for all the posts. wasn’t sure it worked!
posted by Kim on 2-19-2009 at 2:43 pm
skip-it, just skip-it
around my ankle you go,
it’s fun to hop you
posted by erinbrianne on 2-19-2009 at 2:45 pm
Michelangelo
Lost his nunchuks one sad day
Played with Raph after
posted by Cameron on 2-19-2009 at 2:49 pm
Spirograph – gears, teeth
Four-color Bic adds coolness
I chew the end off
posted by Shannon on 2-19-2009 at 2:53 pm
Yellow, black, purp, blue
Bop it! Twist it! Pull it, too!
Don’t stop the beat–YEEOW!
posted by ESJ on 2-19-2009 at 2:57 pm
Rock-em Sock-em Go!
Robots punching, pummeling
You knocked my block off!
posted by James Drake on 2-19-2009 at 2:58 pm
Matchbox cars drove ‘round
Shag carpeting all day till
Wheels no longer move
posted by John on 2-19-2009 at 3:00 pm
Easy bake oven
I loved you even though food cooked
By you made me ill
posted by Megan on 2-19-2009 at 3:00 pm
Wrists red and cut up
Metal piercing through plastic
Must slap bracelets on
posted by Jimmy on 2-19-2009 at 3:02 pm
GoBots GoBots go!
Cheap version of Transformers
GoBots were ripoff
posted by John on 2-19-2009 at 3:05 pm
Ony day my bro Mike
Ate all my Micro Machines
“I’m Godzilla. ROOOOAAARRRRR!”
posted by erak on 2-19-2009 at 3:07 pm
dizzy dizzy me
oh beloved Sit’n'Spin –
why none for adults?
posted by Debi on 2-19-2009 at 3:10 pm
rollerblades at dusk
shred of mulch: my nemesis
slow-motion face-plant
posted by sara on 2-19-2009 at 3:13 pm
G.I. Joe told us
“Knowing is half the battle”
Rest is up to you
posted by Eric Y. on 2-19-2009 at 3:13 pm
stretch armstrong
big buff blonde in tight black shorts
pull until gel oozed
posted by Rick on 2-19-2009 at 3:15 pm
Lego and Star Wars
Nerd toy marriage from Heaven
Thirty years too late
posted by EV on 2-19-2009 at 3:16 pm
turtles soaked in ooze
teenage, mutant, AND ninja
Hail, Turtle Power.
posted by charlie on 2-19-2009 at 3:18 pm
Stretch Armstrong
what is in you?
Who knew? Goo!
posted by Kevin Beeson on 2-19-2009 at 3:22 pm
More than meets the eye
In the bloom of puberty:
Autobots, transform!
posted by Triseult on 2-19-2009 at 3:25 pm
Riot in toy store
Mom on news, fighting
for Cabbage Patch Kid
posted by Lindsey on 2-19-2009 at 3:28 pm
Summer break is near
Time for play out doors is here
But there’s Nintendo
posted by Alex on 2-19-2009 at 3:28 pm
Showtime Synergy!
Jem and the Holograms were
TRULY outrageous.
posted by Chelsea on 2-19-2009 at 3:32 pm
Sitting in the dark
Colorful pegs make pictures
Favorite Lite Brite
posted by Biogirl on 2-19-2009 at 3:32 pm
lego maniac
i would take those days right back
way better than beer
posted by DON on 2-19-2009 at 3:35 pm
Building my own worlds
My love — Legos — everywhere
“Ouch!” Dad stepped on one.
posted by Bob on 2-19-2009 at 3:35 pm
My Erector set,
My mangled bloodied fingers,
I miss metal toys
posted by wookiee on 2-19-2009 at 3:46 pm
Easy bake cupcakes.
Fun to eat, fun to bake, but
daddy thought me gay.
posted by Andy on 2-19-2009 at 3:52 pm
philosophical,
irreverently comical,
Animaniacs
posted by Katie on 2-19-2009 at 3:56 pm
skeletor left out
face melted by summer sun
much scarier now
posted by grant on 2-19-2009 at 4:03 pm
Hours and hours o fun
Flicking marbles, beating friends
Now I lost em all
posted by jeff on 2-19-2009 at 4:05 pm
Connect Four: A game
where I could best my brother.
“Pretty sneaky, Sis!”
posted by loripop on 2-19-2009 at 4:12 pm
Magic 8-ball speak
Will I be famous one day?
“Ask Again Later”
posted by catherine ann on 2-19-2009 at 4:12 pm
My poor Pound Puppy
How I loved stuffing you in
your plush prison cage
posted by Laura on 2-19-2009 at 4:12 pm
O plush stuffed Doughboy
When I pressed on your stomach
You didn’t “hoo-hoo!”
posted by Nathan Miller on 2-19-2009 at 4:13 pm
Dawn was too small to
hang around with Barbie dolls.
She didn’t last long.
posted by loripop on 2-19-2009 at 4:15 pm
Bright and shiny toy
arrives on Christmas morning–
I play in the box
posted by Jason on 2-19-2009 at 4:17 pm
Twist Gi Joe Twist!
Do a roundhouse arm hit
Gi Joe Broke
posted by Tim on 2-19-2009 at 4:17 pm
“Free to Be, You and
Me”—Best book ever tells the truth:
“It’s All Right to Cry.”
posted by loripop on 2-19-2009 at 4:20 pm
G.I. Joe, hero
Fights Cobra, defends country
Make out with Barbie
posted by Steven on 2-19-2009 at 4:20 pm
Oh Popple, why hide?
Tucked in yourself for fear? Oh,
my dog ate your face
posted by KerriH on 2-19-2009 at 4:20 pm
two chairs, one blanket
or maybe some fresh, damp snow–
fort building for me!
posted by Jason on 2-19-2009 at 4:21 pm
Remember the pog?
My whole collection taken.
Third grade gambling.
posted by CJ on 2-19-2009 at 4:25 pm
Growin’ Up Skipper:
Just rotate her arm backwards…
sudden boobs emerge.
posted by loripop on 2-19-2009 at 4:25 pm
show my mood through hue
but careful not to dampen!
Hypercolor shirt.
posted by Jason on 2-19-2009 at 4:26 pm
six mil. dollar man
bionic eye to see far
red NASA jumpsuit
posted by Deuce on 2-19-2009 at 4:47 pm
Rub a dub a dub
I’ve got care bears in the tub
no, they do not float
posted by Dan on 2-19-2009 at 4:58 pm
My sweet little glow-worm
My company in the night
You make my dreams sweet
posted by Tricia on 2-19-2009 at 5:02 pm
Ode to Etch-a-sketch:
Art appears and disappears
Time to start again
posted by Tricia on 2-19-2009 at 5:07 pm
Cabbage Patch big wheel
older sisters hand me down
mortification
posted by Chris on 2-19-2009 at 5:08 pm
“Mr. Potato Head”
Hands, feet, but no legs
Wait, there’s more! Hats, shoes, and ‘stache
So much in one ass.
“Duck Hunt”
Bam! Bam! Still quacking
No ammo. The laughs begin.
That dog never dies.
“Slap Bracelet”
Slap! One size fits all.
Little Johnny lost his eye.
Mom takes my bracelet.
“Teddy Ruxpin”
Nineteen eighty five:
He reads. Nineteen Ninety five:
He also sings Prince.
“Hypercolor”
It’s rainy today
Green shirt, new pants. No, the sun!
Yellow doesn’t match.
“Hammer Pants”
Plenty of leg room,
But hard to walk into the wind.
Stop, you can’t touch this!
“Pinky”
She was once in love
Until the Pac Man ate her
Now only revenge.
posted by phosita on 2-19-2009 at 5:23 pm
When I was younger,
My friends had all the cool toys.
I had rocks and sticks.
posted by Mike on 2-19-2009 at 5:38 pm
Down up, down up, and
again my yo-yo moves. Now
watch me walk the dog!
reCaptcha: york letter
posted by Danny on 2-19-2009 at 5:38 pm
skip-it, oh skip-it
hoola hoop for your ankle
just dont trip and fall
posted by NateJ on 2-19-2009 at 5:40 pm
G I Joe bath time,
Bubbly curiosity.
Don’t go in the cave.
posted by jfratz on 2-19-2009 at 5:48 pm
Flawless harmony
Youthful Nick and Howie dreams
Backstreets back, ALRIGHT!
posted by Kate on 2-19-2009 at 5:51 pm
Ultimate showdown:
Barbies against dinosaurs.
Now fashion’s extinct.
posted by Monika on 2-19-2009 at 5:53 pm
I used to pretend
That Frenzy and Rumble were
Soundwave’s bratty kids.
Soundwave loved his pets-
Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw,
And, lastly, Ratbat.
My best friend had all
Of the coolest transformers.
I had Beachcomber.
posted by Mike on 2-19-2009 at 5:53 pm
Who will save me when
my pirate sister attacks?
My stuffed tiger will!
posted by erm on 2-19-2009 at 6:14 pm
I knew the hula
But the joy of gyration
Came best with the Hoop.
posted by Cyn on 2-19-2009 at 7:28 pm
Buzz Lightyear action
figure; I lost you in the
closet. Then we moved.
posted by Isaac on 2-19-2009 at 7:29 pm
Old school roller skates
None of that in-line wheels crap!
In red, white and blue
Front yard jungle gym
Half of a buckyball shaped
Add sheets, make a fort
Dang, I feel old…
posted by Denise on 2-19-2009 at 7:43 pm
I twisted and turned
For fifteen years, never learned.
Rubik’s Cube, just burn.
posted by Jake Le Master on 2-19-2009 at 8:11 pm
Mom bought books, not dolls.
Some kids think reading is lame;
Guess who has straight As.
Predictable plot.
Undeveloped characters.
Still I get Goosebumps.
Inflatable pool
Underneath the playhouse slide
Ultimate combo.
Dad built a zipline.
Then we inflated the pool.
Jackson broke his arm.
Spielberg not for kids.
Super teen extraordinaire
Goes over our heads.
Velociraptor!
They did that with computers?
Best movie ever.
posted by Carly Smith on 2-19-2009 at 8:14 pm
THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS
Livin’ in Firehouse,
Cause Bustin’ makes me feel good
Kenner, you owned me.
posted by Timbo on 2-19-2009 at 8:20 pm
Onward potato
From PVC it flies out
Fire from tip, maybe
My dad and I make our first potato cannon when I was in 6th grade, it wasn’t our last. At night if you put enough hairspray in the chamber, fire would come out, along with the potato.
posted by Emily S. S. on 2-19-2009 at 8:20 pm
ONE Constructicon.
Never had the rest to build
Devastator. Lame.
posted by Timbo on 2-19-2009 at 8:24 pm
Kenner takes all my money.
Most of my generation’s!
How do THEY go under?
posted by Timbo on 2-19-2009 at 8:33 pm
Weeks of strong slamming
I won that hologram pog
Just as the fad died
posted by Nathan on 2-19-2009 at 10:07 pm
Legos on Sunday
Building towers with father
Connecting our lives
String all the way out
My spirit dancing with clouds
On wings of a kite
Top spins like weekends
Between Mother and Father
More fun than divorce
Dungeons and Dragons
Sneaking out windows at night
Freshmen in high school
Money lessons learned
Without government bailout
Monopoly rules
Slot cars and pizza
With Dad home safe from the war
My birthday was great
Cap guns and tree swings
My grandson will never know
He’s Playstation fat
Rounding the corner
Pulling ahead by a nose
Card in my spokes
HotWheels in motion
Brothers racing for glory
While mom tries to clean
Fort made from pillows
A secret password required
Imagination
Mane flowing freely
We ride clear past the sofa
My pony and I
Slip and Slide Sunday
Neighborhood kids all in shorts
I love living here
Haircut for dolly
She looks better with peach fuzz
My sister is mad
Lifting the head up
Eating the stuff that’s inside
You gotta love Pez
Try walking the dog
While going around the world
All in a yo-yo
Jack in the box clown
Staring from the dark closet
Can’t move a muscle
We’re staying up late
Putting decals on models
My dad is the best
Baking soda cork
Fun unless you swap Drano
Catasrophe now
Train set is running
Little brother on the tracks
Stay tuned for next week
Remote controlled plane
Smashing through brand new window
Run home and hide out
posted by Dave dV on 2-19-2009 at 10:44 pm
Strawberry Shortcake
I forgot her on the bus
The last day of school
posted by Jess K on 2-19-2009 at 11:19 pm
My Star Wars People
Never action figures, no
They were my People!
posted by Renee on 2-19-2009 at 11:30 pm
Cabbage Patch Kid Dolls
My first adopted children
Now I have a cat
posted by NYCGirl on 2-20-2009 at 3:37 am
Jem was excitement.
Hot secretary by day.
No one new the truth.
posted by Karen on 2-20-2009 at 7:57 am
A cabbage patch kid?
Thanks for the thoughtful gift, mom
Forget that I’m male?
posted by Chris K on 2-20-2009 at 8:15 am
Ode to Duck Hunt
Old School Nintendo
How I always met your challenge
Except for Duck Hunt.
I did beat the game
Just held the gun to the screen
Now I wear glasses.
A quick question though…
What was the deal with the skeets?
No end to the game.
Thank God for Mario,
The light-gun now sits…unused
Duck Hunt can’t keep up.
Now ten years have passed
A reunion with Duck Hunt,
The cycle starts again.
posted by Darrin Ambrose on 2-20-2009 at 8:44 am
Stretch Armstong–pink goo
Oozing slowly out his butt
Pierced by a pencil
posted by Ouch on 2-20-2009 at 8:55 am
Record player running hot
Left on at school all weekend
Did not catch fire, darn
posted by hottie on 2-20-2009 at 9:01 am
Record player hot
Left on at school all weekend
Did not catch fire, darn
(Sorry for previous non-Haiku post)
posted by Hottie on 2-20-2009 at 9:02 am
Rock tumbler with wires
Attached. Bringing life support
to heart transplant doll
posted by Young Dr. Barnaard on 2-20-2009 at 9:07 am
Cold steel monkey bars
Falling falling hard
On asphalt. Stitches and cast
posted by 70's playground fun on 2-20-2009 at 9:14 am
Wow…a lot of these are really creative. Good job everyone!
Here’s my feeble attempt. I’m sure I’ll think of something better.
Easy Bake Oven
50 minutes for tiny cake
That tasted like mud
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 9:34 am
POGs I never knew
Had to have because were cool
Were banned from my school
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 9:39 am
Teddy Ruxpin Bear
Talking bear can be creepy
Hid under my sheets
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 9:42 am
Ye old Lincoln Logs
Never ever built a house
But threw them at sis
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 9:44 am
Kicking girls daily
On the playground at recess
Then I’m chased away
posted by Dennis on 2-20-2009 at 9:52 am
Cry Ookla We Ride!
Thundarr the Barbarian
Sunsword against evil
posted by Frankie on 2-20-2009 at 10:23 am
Love my Cozy Coupe
Peddling with my bare feet
Ow! A fucking nail!
posted by Bryan on 2-20-2009 at 10:24 am
My Judy Blume book
You there God? It’s me Margaret
Taught more than my mom
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 10:28 am
My Big Wheel was fast
Turned corners like was on rails
Fell over and cried
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 10:31 am
Bricks and plates combined
And their worlds were mine to shape
From LEGO atoms
posted by Arlen on 2-20-2009 at 10:33 am
My old Pogo Stick
I tried you only one time
Knee scraped, I gave up
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 10:35 am
Didn’t understand
The fad was Garbage Pail Kids
Still had to have them
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 10:41 am
Guess I’m feeling very creative today.
My Trapper Keeper
You held everything safely
What happened to you?
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 10:42 am
My little Glo Worm
With your beautiful big eyes
You lasted three days
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 11:13 am
I still sleep with him
Glo Worm in the green night cap
Twenty five years later
posted by Lauren on 2-20-2009 at 11:17 am
Bunny was your name
White rabbit with a pink nose
Lost at TJ Maxx
posted by Lauren on 2-20-2009 at 11:23 am
Let’s Get Dangerous!
The Terror That Flaps In Night-
Darkwing owned my life.
Megavolt was best
You made sparks like a lighter-
Now I’m a smoker.
posted by Sue on 2-20-2009 at 11:32 am
Operation Game
Steady hand pulled out some bones
Almost win then BUZZ!!
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 11:33 am
My Little Pony
With smooth hair and cutie mark
My dog chewed you up
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 12:12 pm
Popples had bright hair
They had their own cartoon show
Pouch rolled into ball
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 12:13 pm
Not trying to go for a record here, but new ideas keep popping up:
Rainbow Brite was fun
I wish I had your orange hair
Starlite was great horse
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 12:16 pm
Stretch Armstrong, tough guy
Twist him, bend him. Why a Speedo?
Nothing to ‘stretch’ there.
Go Bots, cheap knock-offs.
Sam from Diff’rent Strokes liked ‘em.
Less than meets the eye.
Model cars are a blast.
Custom paint jobs, fine details.
Glued hands together.
Neighbor’s Barbie doll.
Makeover time! Draw! Cut! Paint!
Boys can destroy them.
Black and white handheld.
Liquid crystal game is tough.
What do I do now?
GI Joe is hero.
Fights with Cobra, saves the world.
Melts in the microwave.
Micro Machines small cars.
Man in commercial talked fast.
Lost cars even faster.
My Buddy, a boys doll
Looked like Child Play’s Chucky
Spawned many nightmares.
Teddy Ruxpin spoke much.
Nice stories became scary
When batteries died.
MASK was hybrid show
GI JOE plus Transformers
Result? Awesome toys!
posted by Josh on 2-20-2009 at 12:24 pm
Hey potato head
don’t you know you should’t smoke?
now your pipe is gone.
posted by Sandra on 2-20-2009 at 1:05 pm
mom bought me go-bots,
claiming they were transformers…
and how the kids laughed!
posted by Tom on 2-20-2009 at 1:14 pm
Someone sold me shrimp
billed as magical creatures
they called “Sea Monkeys”
posted by JD on 2-20-2009 at 1:27 pm
where oh Where’s Waldo?
everyone’s looking for you,
geeky guy in stripes
posted by JD on 2-20-2009 at 1:29 pm
My talking Alf doll
a wisecracker from Melmac
“Gimme four,” he’d say
posted by JD on 2-20-2009 at 1:31 pm
Oh Monopoly
Helped soldiers in World War Two
I still can’t beat you
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 1:34 pm
Slinky, mindless fun
Was told you go down the stairs
Never worked for me
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 1:37 pm
Bright crazy hair, with
a gemstone on your belly
You’re my treasure troll
posted by Rebecca on 2-20-2009 at 2:16 pm
These weren’t really popular during my childhood, but I was still sucked in a little.
Plush Beanie Babies
We thought you’d be worth hundreds
Now you’re worth pennies
posted by Shelly on 2-20-2009 at 2:49 pm
Banana seat bike
With flowers on the basket
Let’s ride all day long!
Beautiful Barbie,
Why won’t your hair stay curly?
Curling iron mishap.
My Fashion Plates set
Rub, rub, the outfit appears
Color the bellbottoms
Barefoot in the creek
Look at the tadpoles swimming
Splash! There goes a frog!
posted by Julie on 2-20-2009 at 3:06 pm
Always smelling good
Play-Doh rolling, smushing fun
But don’t eat it…ever!
posted by Kaden on 2-20-2009 at 3:36 pm
Grey metal Slinky
zipping down the basement stairs
oh crap, now it’s bent.
posted by Kristin on 2-20-2009 at 3:40 pm
Thanks, Flint! Now I know!
And knowing’s half the battle
Microwave melts you
posted by Chris on 2-20-2009 at 5:38 pm
Anxious to play it.
I blow on the cartridges.
It sing-replies: SEGA!
posted by Zach on 2-20-2009 at 6:00 pm
Oh Power Rangers
I feel your power through me
Let’s kill Nick’s Turtles
posted by Mackey on 2-21-2009 at 3:00 am
Oh Power Rangers
I feel your power through me
Let’s kill Nick’s turtles
posted by Mackey on 2-21-2009 at 3:04 am
Ballerina doll
Stolen by my young brother
Now the dad of sons
posted by Adrienne on 2-21-2009 at 8:38 pm
Plastic lemon on
black cord. Unknown true purpose but
fun to hit brother with
posted by Amy on 2-22-2009 at 12:02 am
Oops! EXTRA SYLLABLE in above, Here’s *Corrected*:
Plastic lemon on
black cord. Unknown true purpose
fun to hit brother with
posted by Amy on 2-22-2009 at 12:15 am
Snake eyes helplessly
strapped to the Snow Cat
M-80 destroyed
posted by Jen on 2-22-2009 at 12:45 pm
Dizzy triangle
firing at menacing blobs
Days Lost. Asteroids.
posted by Robyn on 3-9-2009 at 1:57 pm