Kara Kovalchik
Have a Happy…..Punctuation Mark.
by Kara Kovalchik - February 26, 2009 - 4:18 PM

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As contemporary and forward-thinking as today’s commercials and sitcoms purport to be when it comes to referencing that “time of the month,” not one of them is bold enough to use the biologically-correct term of “menstruation.” And while this column will most likely squick out a lot of readers, there might be just as many who will nod their heads in affirmation.

The Most Humiliating Purchase

per1.pngLong before maxi pads were flapping their adhesive “wings” on TV to entice you to buy their brand, feminine products were considered a dirty little secret. In fact, up until the late 1950s, they were stowed behind the counter at drug stores and were sold as surreptitiously as condoms. Women had to ask the (usually male) pharmacist or cashier for a package of Modess (the major brand at the time). Not only did females have to go through the humiliation of personally requesting the product, they also had to lug that huge box wrapped in its distinctive blue wrapper–which was often too big to fit into a shopping bag and announced itself loud and clear to the other passengers on the bus or streetcar–all the way home.

You Can’t Do That on Television

The advertising of feminine products was restricted to print ads (usually in women’s or teen-oriented magazines) until the early 1970s. per3.pngFuture Partridge Family star Susan Dey and Moonlighting’s Cybill Shepherd were just two of many aspiring actresses who paid their dues by appearing in such ads.

Technology Forces the Issue

The sanitary products industry had been dominated more or less by two companies until the early 1970s. But suddenly several different factors conspired to rock Madison Avenue. After decades of the same old bulky and belted contraptions, technology suddenly caught up and offered not only self-adhesive pads but also products of various sizes and shapes. Modess and Kotex found themselves competing with Stayfree, Playtex, Always and Carefree. A sizeable portion of the American population comprised of girls born during the Baby Boom was also now entering their adolescent years. These girls were products of the electronic age and were used to getting most of their information via television versus magazines and newspapers. At the same time, TV execs decided to loosen their collar on the topic. Partially inspired by the now-fading hippie movement, (in that “the human body is a beautiful thing/let it all hang out” spirit), but more because there was so much money to be had in the industry, they allowed manufacturer to hawk their wares on television. One of the first celebrity spokespersons in the genre was Olympic gymnast Cathy Rigby, who promoted Stayfree pads for several years on TV and in print ads.

per4.pngIn the early 1980s, actress Brenda Vaccaro did a series of TV commercials and print ads for Playtex tampons. Who cares if she was technically on the cusp of menopause at the time; she was still a celebrity willing to use her name to make a formerly taboo product mainstream.

The Cosby’s Get into the Act

Interestingly enough, commercials for such products were de rigueur for many years before mainstream TV shows finally decided to tackle the subject. (It also makes some sort of comment on Hollywood’s view of the onset of menses that when they do tackle the issue, they make it the entire focus of the episode. Heck, other than Peter Brady’s cracking voice, how many shows have spotlighted a young male’s venture into adolescence?) But when it comes to girls, TV audiences are subjected to such plots as Cosby’s Clair Huxtable wanting to celebrate “Women’s Day” when Rudy comes home early from school on that fateful day that every adolescent girl experiences. Roseanne started off on the right foot, emphasizing Darlene’s embarrassment when her Aunt Jackie greets her with a very syrupy “Hi, honey, how are you feeling?” (And how many of us have echoed Darlene’s mortified response: “God, Mom did you have to tell the whole world?!”), but then the writers ventured off into the typical “this is something to celebrate” territory. Maybe some girls immediately celebrate their sudden unification with the lunar cycle, but my guess is that the typical 11-year-old just wants to be left alone with a bottle of Pamprin when her “entry into womanhood” first occurs.

Married… with Children’s Period Piece

Perhaps the first truly realistic portrayal of “that time” was presented on Fox’s Married…with Children. And it was due to this frank reality (plus the peppering of the dialogue with words like “period” and “menstruation”) that the original broadcast of this episode was delayed for two months after filming while the producers battled with Fox’s one censor. Indeed, even the title (originally “A Period Piece”) had to be changed to “The Camping Show” in order to satisfy the network. Luckily, it finally passed muster so that the audiences could laugh as they saw themselves in either the cranky chocolate-craving too-hot-then-too cold women or the befuddled men walking on eggshells around them.

If you made it this far you’re welcome to post your thoughts on feminine hygiene and advertising thereof or its portrayal on television. (But please don’t get me started on those Vagisil skunk commercials…!) And what about Viagra and Dulcolax (“It shouldn’t hurt when you go to the bathroom”)? Not to mention the animated Charmin bears with bits of toilet paper stuck to their furry hindquarters…. Which previously-taboo subjects gross you out and shouldn’t be advertised on TV in your opinion?

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Comments (75)

  1. I remember watching Blossom when I was younger with my older brothers, and it was the episode where Blossom gets her period. I at the time was too young to know what it was so the entire episode I just kept asking my brothers what a ‘period’ was in which they just kept telling me ‘you’ll find out when you’re older..’
    that’s all.

    posted by susan on 2-26-2009 at 4:39 pm

  2. I thought that I read somewhere that Courtney Cox was the first person to use the word PERIOD in a pad/tampon commercial?

    I remember when we were little seeing a pad commercial and my sister (who is younger) was like “DO THEY GO ON YOUR BOOBS???” I was mortified.

    posted by Kelly J on 2-26-2009 at 4:39 pm

  3. I started mine at 15/16, at an amusement park during the summer no less. I remember the friend I was with had already started hers so she got me a pad from the vending machine in the bathroom. She also had the serious PMS that would be called PPD today, I remember she missed school days sometimes because of the cramps and stuff.

    I don’t remember at all what my mom’s reaction was when I told her after I got home, hah.

    My friends and I had some interesting conversations about periods in high school… we weren’t at all afraid to talk about it to each other, compare notes about cramps and pad/tampon brands, haaha. Personally, I am an Always girl ;-D

    posted by Sarah in CA on 2-26-2009 at 4:49 pm

  4. My favorite groan worthy product name placement has to be the Cialis advertisements on the poker tables during televised competition.
    Are the players thinking about, poker or what the product enhances?

    posted by Amy Donnelly on 2-26-2009 at 4:50 pm

  5. I do think that there is a large group of products that just shouldn’t be advertised on television in the interest of minimizing the squick factor. Topping the list: the next time I see a bunch of salt-and-pepper gents serenading their friends about their newly rediscovered boners, I will hurl. Also: stool softener. Just doesn’t belong on my TV.

    I don’t have a big problem with “feminine hygiene products” being advertised on TV, although the simulations with blue liquid does make me chuckle. I think the advertising folks should be a little more realistic about it, and borrow from the South Park episode. You know…that one.

    My code with my SO is “death and destruction is raining down upon the village” (“death and destruction” for short). None of that “it’s a beautiful and natural part of womanhood” crap for me. It sucks.

    posted by antoinette jeanine on 2-26-2009 at 4:53 pm

  6. Perhaps I have the distinction of being one of the only people in the world with a piece of Kotex box pasted into her baby album. Turns out I was named after a Swedish model (Kecia Niemann) who was featured standing serenely in a field of wheat on my mother’s box of maxi-pads. Mom clipped the image for my future edification.

    When I finally figured out, first hand, what a “feminine hygiene product” was for (talk about euphemistic, hey?) it started to bother me that advertisers didn’t demonstrate a pad’s absorbency using blood-red fluid. Same with diapers, they always poured a beaker of water-blue liquid into them as a demonstration, instead of pee-yellow. Euphemistic colours, too, I guess! Heaven forfend we all acknowledge what actually goes on down there!

    posted by Kikadee on 2-26-2009 at 5:02 pm

  7. Ugh, how about those horrible “not so fresh feeling?” commercials. What were those even for? Douche maybe? Weird, and totally deserving of all the mockery and parodies they’ve inspired over the years.

    posted by Chelsea on 2-26-2009 at 5:03 pm

  8. as a guy, the only things the tampon and pad commercials do its make me tune them out, but every time a viagra commercial comes on, i laugh my ass off
    honestly, whos dumb enough to from a band, and sing about their ED?
    or the commercail where the guy decides to spice up his sex life by buying a motorcycle. any sensible person wouldnt be happy or tunred on, they would be mad

    posted by Ben on 2-26-2009 at 5:25 pm

  9. yes, the Charmin bears commercials always make me cringe. it is very unlikely behaviour for a bear…

    ;)

    the Viagra and Cialis commercials don’t do it for me either.

    posted by the creature on 2-26-2009 at 5:36 pm

  10. I agree, the Charmin bears are just WRONG. I can only assume someone found it hilarious to parody the “Does a bear crap in the woods?” statement.

    ED, periods, toilet paper, and ‘feminine itching’ products need not be advertised on TV.

    posted by Bethy on 2-26-2009 at 5:53 pm

  11. When I was a delicate young flower of 11 years, my mother went out of town for the weekend. One night, as I was getting ready for bed, I was in my room getting undressed for my shower. I noticed some red spots in my drawers and, a little freaked out, called out to my sister in the adjacent room “Hey, I think I got my period!” My father overheard and called up “Congratulations, honey!” I was mortified. The next day, I came home from school to find red carnations and a “I’m so proud card” from Dad. Totally humiliating at the time, but way better than Darlene’s dad’s reaction.

    posted by burger on 2-26-2009 at 6:02 pm

  12. I don’t know about anyone else, but I keep seeing commercials for KY Jelly, and they kind of gross me out.

    posted by Case on 2-26-2009 at 6:11 pm

  13. Until I was about 10, I thought that maxi pads were used to wax cars. No joke! My father would use them to wax his car because they’d stick to his hands…

    posted by Me on 2-26-2009 at 6:16 pm

  14. As a guy, I want to ask the person who invented “have a happy period” if they ever actually met a girl.

    I also think that the “technology” pregnancy test ad was one of the funniest ones I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t seem to be on anymore.

    posted by Dave on 2-26-2009 at 6:50 pm

  15. I totally agree with the Charmin bears! When one of the bears gets that look of relief when they’re supposedly wiping is beyond scary.

    I also get a kick out of the ClearBlue ads. “The most technological advanced thing you will ever pee on.” Pretty funny until you start to think about it.

    posted by Colene on 2-26-2009 at 7:22 pm

  16. For all you ever wanted to know about the history of feminine products, check out mum.org…it’s pretty cool. :-)

    posted by Tina on 2-26-2009 at 7:27 pm

  17. I’d really like to see “Smiling Bob” and other ads for “male enhancement” taken off the air. The chat line ads can go as well.

    reCaptcha: Mama needing

    posted by PartiallyDeflected on 2-26-2009 at 7:30 pm

  18. Well, I don’t feel that this shouldn’t be on television or anything, but that pregnancy test commercial comes to mind… You know, where it’s showing the pregnancy test and a dramatic voice is talking about how technological it is. Then of course you see a stream of water come down, and I think the tag line is something like “The most technological equipment you will ever pee on” is stated.

    I was shocked the first time I saw that, and had to laugh out loud…

    posted by Ophelia on 2-26-2009 at 7:57 pm

  19. Anyone seen those 6 Hour Power commercials?! They’ve been edited recently so I assume someone finally spoke up. I couldn’t believe how blatant it was! It’s on YouTube for anyone who doesn’t know what I’m talking about…..(NSFW)

    posted by Kate on 2-26-2009 at 8:29 pm

  20. I was 10 years old when I got my first period. My class was on an “Outdoor Ed” trip where they brought us city kids to a camp for a few days. I noticed it when I was changing my clothes in a bathroom stall. Since my 6th grade science teacher was our cabin leader, I had to ask her for a pad. *blush* Every time I saw her after that, I’d remember the embarrassment I felt because I had to share that information with a teacher.

    posted by NicoNicoNico on 2-26-2009 at 8:30 pm

  21. A teacher I work with has a Cialis RULER in her classroom. Honestly, how tacky can we get?

    posted by KerriH on 2-26-2009 at 8:32 pm

  22. I was so excited when I first got my period. I had no idea that it would be 6 days of guaranteed misery per month. I guess I’m happy that my nine year-old self was so excited about “becoming a woman.”

    I remember once my dad was going to the store and he asked, “Do you need any napkins?” – I had no idea what he was talking about. We stared at each other for about a minute, and he mumbled, “Nevermind,” and took off. I’d never heard anyone say “sanitary napkin,” much less his shortened version.

    posted by Nikole on 2-26-2009 at 8:33 pm

  23. I remember the days of Kotex and safety pins…
    Nothing really shocks me these days, but I do think the commercials are kind of funny. There’s just no way to approach the subject in advertising without it being awkward. The Viagra, Cialis and other commercials for men are SO funny. And stupid. It seems to me they always show the man with a much younger woman. But maybe that’s just my pre-menopause kicking in.

    posted by Lisa on 2-26-2009 at 8:37 pm

  24. Funny story about the Cialis, etc. commercials.

    My dad and I were sitting around, watching TV, and one of them came on. I’m pretty sure it was the one where they sing about their pills. I said to my dad, “These commercials are ridiculous. Would you actually sit around and talk to your friends about your ED?”

    My dad, completely deadpan, looked at me. “Well,” he said, “it’s never come up.”

    posted by Kieran on 2-26-2009 at 8:37 pm

  25. I got my first period when I was 11, and if someone had dared congratulate me or tell me they were “so proud,” I would have ripped that person’s tongue out and stuffed it down their throat. I was in agony for five days, but way too embarrassed to admit what was going on, so I had to suffer in stoic silence when I wanted to curl up and cry.

    Ah, the joys of womanhood.

    posted by Kessie on 2-26-2009 at 9:07 pm

  26. I’ll join the horrified by the Charmin bears camp. I don’t particularly like the ones with the golden retriever puppy that much anymore because they got really annoying really fast, but it’s a different issue.

    The commercials that grossed me out the most seem to be gone now…those were the ones in which the animated toenail fungus pried up a toenail and dove on in. That was waaay too much for me. I’m not overly fond of the animated mucus either, but that could be because they remind me too much of my daily life.

    posted by Fruppi on 2-26-2009 at 9:08 pm

  27. Remember “Mr. Mom” in the grocery store: “I need a price check on these Kotex maxi pads.”

    posted by fanniefarkle on 2-26-2009 at 9:19 pm

  28. “Death and Destruction…” LOL I like it.

    The only thing to squick me out lately is the construction worker guy eating some bran cereal, and all around him are symbolic representations of dump-taking.

    posted by Johnny Cat on 2-26-2009 at 9:22 pm

  29. I had to LAUGH HARD when I was wandering the isles the other day and came across a new product from Always. The pads are called “Infinity.”

    As in, you will have your period for an INFINITY MWHAHAHAHA.

    Bad idea. Bad.

    posted by holly on 2-26-2009 at 9:47 pm

  30. Advertisers need to stop and think about who’s viewing these commercials. In highschool, I usually ended up watching tv with my mom and dad. Any commercial that makes you feel awkward while watching them with your parents shouldn’t be aired. Seriously, I don’t want to think about ED while my mom and dad are in the same room.

    posted by Victoria on 2-26-2009 at 9:55 pm

  31. I’ve gotta say, the Mucinex commercials get me. I can handle blood and poo and pee and vomit and even saliva, but phlegm and mucus just trip the gag reflex. Seeing giant phlegm-wads sauntering around causing havoc….ugh.

    posted by Richard on 2-26-2009 at 10:02 pm

  32. The commercial that weirds me out the most is of the woman who goes flying off the top of a building in a karate pose with a pad in her hand. She sticks the pad on a water tower that is starting to burst. Too much!

    I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall in the room where the ad execs were discussing this commercial. Who comes up with these things!?

    posted by Amy on 2-26-2009 at 11:04 pm

  33. When I got my first period, I discovered so in the bathroom at home. I called my mom in to help me out. The first thing she said—which mortifies me to this day— was, “Oh, I can’t wait to tell your dad!” That made me want to crawl in a hole and die.

    posted by Esther on 2-26-2009 at 11:20 pm

  34. While I hate the girly product commericals (they always come on when I am chilling with my guy friends), the real creepy things are the male enhancement ads. I came home one night and flipped on the tv in hopes of finding some late night stand-up comedy on. Instead, I was greeted by an actual 30 minute infomercial for some male enhancement brand. I was so thankful nobody else was awake.

    posted by Antoinette on 2-26-2009 at 11:32 pm

  35. So, during the Price is Right the other morning, we saw a commercial for a medical supply company specializing in catheters, and it was long and detailed, and the lady talked about how terrible it was to have to sterilize them and re-use them all the time… Just in general something I never want to see or hear about, especially while I’m eating lunch before going to work, and watching the Price is Right.

    posted by Jeremy on 2-27-2009 at 12:07 am

  36. it’s pretty hard to gross me out, but I do agree that the natural male enhancement commercials are irritating.

    My family calls pads and tampons and such “spy stuff.” It’s a nice code word, but sometimes I forget and will ask a coworker or classmate “Hey, can I borrow some spy stuff?” and get some weird looks.

    posted by beth on 2-27-2009 at 12:17 am

  37. Ewww! No, the one that takes the cake (and by cake, I mean pile of poop) is the commerical that used to be on for that anti-nail fungus medicine. With Digger the Dermatophite…or whatever it was. It was gross.
    During the time around my surgeries, my podiatrist had a print ad for the medicine in her office. So, I would be stuck there looking at pictures of the fungus in varying levels of severity. NASTY!
    Ewww! Or that new hand sanitizer ad where they depict germs as these big nasty, maggot-looking things that crawl all over people and stuff.
    I do not like to think about things crawling on me. Gross.
    Personally, I think those were poorly concieved ideas for commercials. Especially considering they’d come on when I was eating something…nope…blech…gross.
    But hey, I’m just a kid.

    posted by SpecialAgentBaker on 2-27-2009 at 12:22 am

  38. I keep waiting for the “Male Enhancement” commercial where they mention increasing the size of “That Certain Part of a Man’s Body” and then show footage of a grossly engorged Adam’s Apple.

    posted by El Tigre on 2-27-2009 at 12:31 am

  39. Yeah, every time the disembodied hands pour the blue liquid onto the pad, I say to my boyfriend, “Hmmm. I must be menstruating wrong. My menses are red, not Tidy Bowl colored.”

    Also, the shame treatment still occurs in stores. Whenever I purchase pads or tampons the clerk double bags it. Apparently bleeding monthly is something I need to be embarrassed about.

    posted by Sara on 2-27-2009 at 1:25 am

  40. You mean it’s not blue?

    posted by Beau on 2-27-2009 at 2:30 am

  41. My wife is Korean, and she tells me that feminine hygiene products still can’t be advertised on television there.

    posted by David on 2-27-2009 at 8:23 am

  42. My wife is pregnant, I was hoping for a girl, we found out Monday it is a boy. After reading the comments I am SO GLAD I am having a boy.

    I would totally be the dad who bought flowers for his daughter on that day.

    posted by Witty Nickname on 2-27-2009 at 9:17 am

  43. @Partially Deflected:

    A coworker of mine has a ringtone that sounds soooo much like the Smiling Bob music. She uses the ringtone for her ex-husband’s calls!

    posted by DB on 2-27-2009 at 9:31 am

  44. I have a girlfriend who refuses to buy toilet paper, pads, condoms…anything having to do with “that sort of stuff”, she makes her roommate buy for her. She’s 25.

    As well, I agree with everyone on those damn Charmin Bear commercials; every time they come on I share my disgust with my roommates and they laugh at me – I’m glad to see that I’m not alone! I don’t want to know what people do with their toilet paper…I just want to know that it’s soft. And maybe that I can make it into a dress or something if I’m bored one day.

    posted by Jenny on 2-27-2009 at 9:32 am

  45. that one enzite (spelling?) commercial about Bob when he’s dressed as Santa and they’re all like, “i know what this chubby santas getting for christmas.” then all the women come sit in his lap.

    GROSS AND INAPPROPRIATE!!!!

    posted by Kaitlyn on 2-27-2009 at 10:26 am

  46. oh man, anything that approaches the whole “bathroom” topic creeps me out.

    i started my period @ 15 while away at a cheerleading camp. needless to say, it wasn’t the huge embarassment it could have been since it was all female. i never actually told my mother or sister that i had started. i was discreet about it. there were pads & tampons stowed away under all the vanities in the house, so i just didn’t have the need to tell anyone. when i was 17, my mom made me see a gynecologist for the first time. we we pulled into a parking spot at the dr’s office, she sat there for a moment, then said, “i’m worried that something might be wrong because you haven’t started having peroids yet, please talk to the dr about it.” i just laughed & laughed. then i had to tell her what was so funny.

    & the charmin bears with pieces of TP on their rear, completely, utterly gross. i don’t know about anyone else, but that has never happened to me. does that really happen to people? how???? i so don’t get it.

    posted by kathryn on 2-27-2009 at 12:15 pm

  47. When I got my period for the first time I asked my mom if it was what i thought it was. All she got out was “Oh honey..!” before I ran away screaming. I’ve never been the precious moment kind of chick.

    posted by karen on 2-27-2009 at 12:20 pm

  48. I got mine while my mom was on the other side of the country for a funeral (and therefor incommunicado).

    My poor dad (Jerry Garcia look-a-like, ex-biker bum)made many frantic calls to my aunt and almost had a break-down in the feminin hygene isle. Several kind women stopped to help and offer suggestions, but we still walked out with several boxes of various products (just in case).

    posted by Mandragora on 2-27-2009 at 12:28 pm

  49. I already commented but this warrants another one! Hilarious comments! In 7th-grade my group of friends called it the yes club and the no club. I joined the “yes club” on the first day of camp. years later I found a note I wrote that night to my friend saying I CHANGED CLUBS!! HAHA

    Other ads- the “most advanced piece of technology you’ll ever pee on” one? Once or twice I saw it, and it may have been the station, or time, but the dialog was “the most advanced piece of technology you’ll ever…ahem… you know.” With the same picture showing. INTERESTING.

    Also the Charmin bear commercial GROSSES ME OUT when he bends over and his bear-butt is covered with TP!!! NASTY, put your booty away! It’s so random!

    The nail fungus PUSHING UP THE NAIL to hop in gives me CHILLS. I hate that one too!!!

    posted by Kelly J on 2-27-2009 at 12:49 pm

  50. Just gonna comment from the big brother’s perspective. I came home from school one day in high school to find a pair of my 12 year-old sister’s white denim shorts in the bathroom sink with a nice bloodstain on them.
    She was obviously having a bad day, as she had started her period at school in her white shorts. Of course, I had to freak out and yell about how inappropriate it was to leave something like that lying around, which made things much better. Kind of wish I had handled it better, but what’s a 15 year-old boy gonna do when he walks into the bathroom and sees something like that?

    posted by Sean O. on 2-27-2009 at 1:12 pm

  51. I have no shame in announcing my period to my boyfriend each month with a “No babies!” and an Obama-style fist bump. I also use the Keeper (which probably really shouldn’t be advertised on TV), and am always thinking of new ways to squick him out by talking about it.

    I actually am kind of amused by the Charmin bears, because the commercial works on more than one level– you’ve got the pun of “Bear/Bare bottoms” AND the “Does a bear crap in the woods?” aspect. And, you have to admit, it had to take someone special to air animated “dingleberries” on television (i.e., the toilet paper stuck behind. Yeah, there’s a word for it.)

    posted by Abi on 2-27-2009 at 1:25 pm

  52. I’m really glad someone else gets grossed out by the disposable catheter commercials, too (although it could be worse… they could have Wilford Brimley hawking them).

    posted by juliepie on 2-27-2009 at 1:44 pm

  53. Boy o boy, don’t get me started. I don’t have anything against the Charmin bears really, but there is SO much out there that I don’t want to see on my TV – feminine protection, male enhancement (speaking of which, WHAT is the deal with the two bathtubs??!), birth control, any of it. Yeesh. If a person needs or wants to buy it, they can go to the store and find it leaping off the shelves at them. Yep, I’m older than dirt, and when I was growing up the airwaves were blissfully free of such advertising.

    My biggest concern I guess, is that they have this stuff on the air during family time, and I just don’t think little kids need to be exposed to it at a tender age. I know, you can’t protect them forever, but I think advertisers should use some common sense.

    posted by Mama9cats on 2-27-2009 at 2:13 pm

  54. A friend of mine thought the adhesive on the pads where to hold them in place—yes, she had a reverse mohawk. Ouch!

    posted by Nancy on 2-27-2009 at 2:26 pm

  55. @Dave: AMEN! I cannot imagine that any woman on earth would think of “Have a happy period” as a campaign.

    Ditto a couple of songs from various musicals, like “How Lovely to Be a Woman” and “I Enjoy Being a Girl.”

    I’m not the only one who hates the Always campaign, though; click my initials for a link to a fabulous Open Letter at McSweeney’s.

    posted by RT on 2-27-2009 at 5:03 pm

  56. @ Abi-from my understanding, “dingleberries” are not toilet paper hanging from one’s butt…they’re much grosser than that. And thanks for mentioning the Keeper. I just may get that!

    posted by Orange on 2-27-2009 at 6:34 pm

  57. Mine started when I was 14 and at the zoo with (thankfully) my mom. It wouldn’t have been so bad except I was wearing yellow shorts, so we had to leave so I could get clean shorts (ew).
    I too say “No babies” to my boyfriend each month. He likes getting the heads up so he knows why I’m crazier than normal.

    I HATE the nail fungus commercial. I think it is the most disgusting thing on TV. The Charmin bears don’t bother me but I’m still trying to figure out who these people are that have such a problem with TP sticking to their bum that it merits an entire ad campaign.

    posted by Martha on 2-27-2009 at 11:34 pm

  58. I cant use pads. They just really gross me out. When I first got mine I was 15 (april fools day, ah the irony…) and I couldn’t figure out how to use the tampon. My mom tried to get my sister to help me find ‘the hole’. We both just looked at my mom and took of in opposite directions.

    posted by Bellamia on 2-28-2009 at 11:39 am

  59. Put me down for the ED ads, especially the smarmy ‘Sex Talk’ infomercials and the ‘Viva Viagra’ ads.

    Perfectly good Elvis song turned to crap thanks to Viagra. *shakes head sadly*

    posted by Michael on 2-28-2009 at 4:38 pm

  60. Like the other Lisa I also remember the safety pins and belts too. Ugh. I heard an interesting bit of trivia that tampons were invented in the 30′s but not marketed until the 60′s because it was thought “nice women” would not use them! Thank god for tampons….

    posted by Another Lisa on 3-1-2009 at 4:52 pm

  61. As for coming-of-age episodes in shows, American Dad had a hysterical episode about the son entering puberty (which he announced by standing on the coffee table and showing the family his first pubic hair). Plenty of flash-backs to when the daugher first got her period as well (“you want me to put this WHERE?!”).

    I don’t really have any issues with commericals, as I tend to mute them all anyway. I just find the STD commercials funny/sad – how are those actors ever going to get laid again?!?

    posted by Dawn on 3-1-2009 at 5:26 pm

  62. I always annouced my period with my ex by saying that I was “blechking” that week.

    posted by SusieQ on 3-1-2009 at 11:24 pm

  63. Yay for Abi! I do the same thing…walk out of the bathroom with a “so I’ve got good news and bad news…good news, I’m not pregnant! Bad news, no sex…”

    I’ve got a strong stomach for stuff, but that damn nail fungus commercial is revolting. It’s not so much the animated fungus guys that creep me out, either…it’s the way the big toenail just hinges up…shudder.

    posted by Julie on 3-2-2009 at 1:53 am

  64. I LOVE the “most advanced piece of technology you will ever pee on.” ad. I’ve heard both versions on the air- I think they censored it after the first one ran.

    My boyfriend and I use the phrase “Shark week” when talking about my period. For obvious reasons.

    posted by kristin on 3-2-2009 at 12:19 pm

  65. Wow, there’s a lot of comments on this one!

    My grandmother was very shy as a kid and she used to make her older brother buy her pads from the drug store, this would have been in the 1940′s. I didn’t know that women had to ask for them b/c they were kept behind the counter, no wonder she was embarassed.

    posted by Emily on 3-2-2009 at 12:49 pm

  66. I cannot stand the pregnancy test ad that refers to it as “The most advanced piece of technology you’ll every pee on” (and if it’s during the day the replace the word “pee” with “You know”). The first time I saw it I started screaming about how a dude obviously wrote it. The writer seemed to fail to realize that girls do not aim when they pee and therefore do not get excited about peeing on things. Ugh.

    posted by Amanda on 3-2-2009 at 4:27 pm

  67. I call apostrophe abuse! ‘The Cosby’s Get into the Act’–the Cosby’s *what* gets into the act??
    Not to sounds snooty, but I’ve come to expect better than that from Mentalfloss.

    posted by shelly on 3-5-2009 at 10:46 am

  68. I think it’s wonderful that the media is so open with their advertisements. It makes people feel less alone, say, if they’re suffering from bladder issues or are having trouble staying regular.

    It’s just a part of humanity, there’s nothing to be grossed out about.

    People need to get the stick out of their butts and embrace the fact that society is moving forward.

    posted by kt on 3-5-2009 at 2:36 pm

  69. So my first period was me in the bathroom all day changing my underwear over and over again (I was wearing maroon pants so it didn’t show, don’t ask @_@.) I had no clue what periods were and as such, when I finally called my mom, she was like, “Don’t talk about it.” And so I lived in fear for the next 2 years and never talked about it because periods were wrong and dirty. Finally, when I heard a group of friends talking, I realized it was natural. Jesus christ, asian parents are insane! My mom still resents her periods and wishes she never has them while I’m completely comfortable with myself.

    posted by shrus6291 on 3-8-2009 at 9:58 am

  70. I was the last of my friends to get her period…now I have endometriosis, which causes hellish cramps, and I can’t believe I ever wanted the damn thing. :(

    On a related note, there is apparently a new collection of first-period stories…click on my name for an article about it.

    As for commercials, I, too, am very glad that Digger the Dermatophyte is no longer, uh, infecting our airwaves.

    posted by NYCGirl on 3-8-2009 at 6:14 pm

  71. i don’t understand this discomfort with natural bodily functions. everybody pees, everybody poops, every female bleeds.

    i read somewhere that one of the reasons some ancient cultures worshipped women was that it was considered a miracle to be able to bleed for a week and not die.

    posted by m on 3-9-2009 at 7:22 pm

  72. I don’t see what’s so gross about commercials for tampons, pads, birth control, ED, etc. If you think about it, the only thing we all have in common is our bodily functions, so why not talk about it? But I have to draw the line at using the technical terms because they just sound yucky…it would be like calling sex “intercourse” every time you talk about it. My euphemism is “Tuesday,” because my birth-control pills used to make things start up on exactly the fourth Tuesday of each month. So now I just tell my fiance “happy TUESDAY,” and we high-five over no babies this month.

    posted by FizzyGurrl on 3-10-2009 at 2:56 pm

  73. I’ve never been particularly grossed out by “feminine hygiene” products, or even talk thereof. I’ve had friends whose periods began unexpectedly when they were unprepared approach me to ask for a pad. They beat around the bush so much and get so embarrassed while I’m just “What? Oh, that sucks. You want a pad?” I’m even known to groan to my female friends “UGH, my period started!” I do my best to spare the boys from that, though. I can see why it would be gross to them. But other girls who get it every month just like me should be able to handle it.

    Some ED commercials do weird me out a bit. Mostly just because they’re so strange. There was one that showed this couple sitting in seperate bathtubs that were outdoors, overlooking this grand scenery and they were holding hands. Anyone see that one? That was just bizarre.
    I’m also a little disturbed by how all of them seem to imply that couples can’t even be affectionate (cuddling, kissing, hand holding, goofing around, etc.) if they have ED.

    posted by Cherry on 3-31-2009 at 12:10 am

  74. The elastic belts were the worst! They used to come loose from the pad and ride up around my waist! I’d be walking around school like that – you think anyone would TELL me? They were probably just as embarassed as I was! Oy vey!

    posted by Mindylou on 5-20-2009 at 5:13 pm

  75. Well, this is the very first time I’ve commented on ANYTHING on mental_floss but seeing as I have an extremely traumatic story I thought I’d share…

    My mom was older when I was born (36) and by the time I got my first period she was already deep in the throes of menopause so there was nothing in the house for me to use except the pantiliner samples I had been given at school. For the first two years or so I always just used tons of pantiliners stacked on top of each other because my mom, being extremely conservative and religious, never bothered to explain the difference to me between pantiliners and pads. Luckily, I finally figured it out. Fast forward to me at 19, I was having hellish periods and at one point thought I was having a miscarriage. I, of course, didn’t tell my mom that last part but I said I was going to an ob/gyn no matter what. Apparently she went practically insane knowing that a man would be seeing her little girl *like that*! My dad told her that obviously something was wrong for me to go that route and to leave me the hell alone… score one for Dad! Anyway, long story short, I was diagnosed with stage IV endometriosis (NYCGirl: I know your pain!) And it turned out that i’d more than likely had it since I first started seeing as I spent the day before I ever got it horribly sick to my stomach and that my mom did me a great disservice in never talking about it or brushing my complaints off as “normal” because it maybe could have been caught quicker. Anyway, now my parents talk *at* me (at because I don’t listen any more) about period stuff more than I ever wanted to hear and drive me meshuga with their “natural” cures. Lesson in all of this? Listen to your kids!! They know their own bodies and know when something is wrong! Just my advice, *smiling.* Btw, very interesting article and hilarious stories by my fellow partners-in-suffering. :)

    ReCaptcha: non-in- nonunion
    Wtf?!

    posted by KillerQueen on 8-8-2009 at 5:15 pm

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