Jason English
Friday Happy Hour: Let Me Ask Again
by Jason English - March 27, 2009 - 9:59 AM
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I’m taking next week off to deal with all the fun and adventure of moving. While I was tempted to use today’s post to solicit free advice (“What do you tip a moving man?”), that probably wouldn’t be much fun. Since I have a lengthy list of things I absolutely have to do before I can leave, I’m phoning in today’s Happy Hour. I’ve picked six of my favorite questions from previous editions. Discuss!

1. I absolutely love reading our district’s night school course catalog. I always find five classes I’d love to take and a dozen others to make snarky comments about. There’s always something crazy geared at helicopter parents (”Visualizing Success for Your Little Leaguer”) and a way-out-of-date computer class (”Mastering DOS”). The only class I’ve actually taken was dancing, in the months leading up to our wedding. Anyone taken any memorable night school courses? If you happen to have your local school’s catalog, what’s the strangest class being offered this semester?

2. What’s the strangest thing someone could learn about you through Googling? (And no, you don’t have to send the link.)

morrisknolls-talon97.jpg3. The merciful people who put out my high school’s yearbook did not ask seniors to provide inspirational, poignant or otherwise meaningful quotes to run beneath our class photos. I have no idea what I would have selected. There’s a good chance Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger or Happy Gilmore would have been involved.

A friend of mine who graduated in the mid-1990s wasn’t so lucky. He showed me his yearbook, and about half of the guys used Jim Valvano’s “Don’t Give Up, Don’t Ever Give Up.” (Him included.)

Maybe you put a little more thought into your senior quote. (Or maybe not.) Either way, we’d love to hear it. What was your high school yearbook quote? And if you’re up for it, here’s another question: what would your quote be if you were graduating today?

4. A couple years ago, we had a good time sharing our local strangely named streets. When I heard that a Hollywood intersection was renamed “Larry King Square,” I started to wonder about other bustling thoroughfares dedicated to people. (I was bored, I guess.) Do any of your area roads double as asphalt tributes to unexpected celebrities?

5. I was recently invited via bulk mail to (pay to) take a night class called “Protecting Yourself Against Identity Theft.” I know people whose lives are absolutely consumed by this, to the point that they’re shredding receipts for things they bought with cash. In 2006, Americans lost $56 billion in crimes of this nature. Have any of you ever had your identity stolen? Did you clear your name?

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6. I’m a big Giants fan, and I’m absolutely shocked they made the (2008) Super Bowl. All season long, this team had “heartbreaking Wild Card loss” written all over it. After the game, a friend and I were talking about our favorite single season in sports history. His response: Duke Basketball, 2001. For me, it’s the 1990 Giants. I was in sixth grade and remember every game. Hanging over my bed was a Miller Lite poster with their schedule. Each week, I filled in the scores. Between 1991 and 1993, I probably watched that season’s highlight video 75 times. So here’s today’s final question, for all you sports fans: what’s your favorite single season in sports history?

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Comments (51)
  1. I used “I wanted to stay, I wanted to play…but I’m only this far and only tomorrow leads the way.” It’s from #41 Dave Matthews Band. I loved them back then and thought it appropriate since we were all moving on. I’m not ashamed of my choice….yet.

  2. 1. “Proper English: Learning to Speak Good” I kid you not.

    2. Having now Googled myself, I guess the weirdest thing floating around out there is a video of me playing a screwball conspiracy theorist character who doesn’t know what “fuego” means in Spanish.

    3. My Quote: “When the Going Get Weird, the Weird Turn Pro” – Hunter S. Thompson

    6. The only time I was really in to baseball was with the legendarily coked-up ’86 Mets.

  3. 1. I’ve never managed to take any night school, mostly because my job is being a student. For the rest of my life.
    2. There’s not much out there on me (thankfully). You could learn about a grant I received when I was in college. That’s about it, I think.
    3. My senior quote was Emerson: “Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.” Except the Yearbook folks left out “would” and it didn’t make any sense. I’d like to think I’d abstain from quoting anyone if I were to appear in a yearbook now.
    4. I live in DC, so there are plenty of streets dedicated to Founding Fathers. On the subject of strange street names, though, when I lived in Shreveport, LA, there was a sign on Stoner Avenue claiming the neighborhood to be a “weed and seed community.” It was a local landmark. (Oh! And that reminds me that there was a street named for Elvis’s guitarist, who was born in Shreveport.)
    5. No. Knock on wood.
    6. Oh, man, I’m with your friend on Duke 2001. Except Duke 1992 might also be pretty amazing. I can’t pick. And Saint Louis Cardinals 2006.

    Also, I tend to tip the movers $10-20 per person. It depends on how quick they are and how friendly. That’s my input.

  4. The 1991 Atlanta Braves – my favorite season

  5. After viewing 148,000 hits on the Google, there is nothing about me. They don’t even find my MySpace page.

  6. 1. No idea. Sorry.
    2. I found out that I am the only person in the entire U.S. with my full name. Guess there aren’t that many Irish first name – Polish last name combos…
    3. We didn’t do senior quotes, though that would have been a great idea! I think if I had done one, it probably would have been “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” from the song Closing Time by Semisonic. I loved that song.
    4. Near my office there’s a park named after Terri Hershey, a die-hard environmentalist from the 1st Bush era. Pretty ironic, considering the park is completely surrounded by high-rise office buildings for major oil companies.
    5. No, thank goodness!
    6. 2001 Oklahoma Sooners: the season I fell in love with football.

  7. 6. My all-time favorite season would be the 2005-6 Pittsburgh Steelers (Bettis finally gets his ring). As far as exciting sports drama goes, it’s hard to beat the end of the Colts-Steelers playoff game that year (the infamous Big Ben shoelace tackle after the Bettis fumble). I think I remember hearing that someone in a Pittsburgh bar literally had a heart attack when Bettis fumbled!! I know I almost did too!!

  8. 4. there’s a street by my house called “Lois Lane” – i always laugh when i drive past it.

  9. My yearbook quote was:”Chopper and Cow for Life” (my best friend and my nicknames in school and no we werent fat)

    My quote now would be: “Chopper and Cow havent talked since high school”

    I am glad we never got matching tattoos. :)

  10. 4. I grew up on Wooden Drive…named after coach John Wooden. The neighboring street is called Nell Circle, after his wife.

  11. 1. My local community college offers classes in pole dancing. I know it’s a trendy form of exercise but I still think it’s weird.

    2. There is pretty much nothing about me on Google but I’ll bet if David Miles kept looking he’d have found info on my father because that is his exact name.

    3. My quote was from a Nike ad: “If you inherit something, inherit their resilience. Because the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
    I don’t know what it would be today but I know it wouldn’t be that.

  12. I went to a small private school, and each senior had an entire page, so I had way too many quotes. As I recall, only 2 were keepers

    Any man who doesn’t get carried away should be. Oscar Wilde

    Every time I think I’m partying too hard, I just remember that Keith Richards is still alive. Bill Hicks

    In retrospect, I’m glad I included a Bill Hicks joke, but I wish I had used almost any other one.

  13. Our local community college once had a course called “How to Weigh What You Want”. My sarcastic sister saw that and said, “I’m going to bring in these apples, and say ‘I want to weigh these… Oh! 5.2 pounds! Excellent!’ then leave – course mastered!”

  14. 3. My senior quote was “Shut up brain, or I will stab you with a Q-Tip.” – Homer Simpson

  15. A google search for my name will turn up a newspaper article in which my grandfather was interviewed and it mentioned that me and my sister were standing there with him. I was 5 years old.

    My school decided not to give me any warning that I would not appear in the yearbook senior year because I did not get my pictures taken by a specific photographer. Had I been, my quote would be: “When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons and make super lemons” – from the t.v show Clone High.

  16. 2) You can find some very unsavory, unsafe, and untrue things an ex said about me on a web site. I ended up having to change my phone number, which he posted along with my full name and where I was attending college. Sweet kid.

    3) We didn’t do quotes, but we did have baby pages that parents could buy and generally embarrass with. My parents did a good job with mine though- cute pictures and this verse from Simon and Garfunkel:

    Sail on Silver Girl,
    Sail on by
    Your time has come to shine
    All your dreams are on their way

    Since I love that song it was a nice little tribute

  17. No. 2: If I google my name using my maiden name, I find out someone in England was the first person to be a surrogate mom. With my married name, I find out about a rock-n-roll guitarist.
    No. 3: We didn’t do quotes with our senior pics. And I was on yearbook staff!
    No. 4: I can’t think of a specific name, but in my hometown a park was named after a guy who died in Iraq.
    No. 6: Although I was not alive at the time, the 1972 Miami Dolphins always comes to mind. For a season I was alive, this past Dolphins season was awesome, esp. after their very sorry season the year before. Go Fins!

  18. There were about 45 in our graduating class.

    “No Sense Makes Sense”
    Charles Manson

    Day after graduation: hungover
    2nd day after graduation: Moved back to Chicago

  19. 4. There is a Tom Osborne Highway in Hastings, Nebraska. Tom was a hugely successful football coach, a congressman, current AD of the University of Nebraska, and all-around good guy. I am surprised there aren’t more things named after him in the state, actually.

    There is also Rose Blumkin Drive in Omaha, NE. It is located next to Nebraska Furniture Mart, the largest home furnishings store in the country (now with locations in Kansas City and Des Moines!) Anyway, Rose Blumkin (Mrs. B) started the store a long time ago and sold it to Warren Buffet/Berkshire Hathaway in the 1980s. She not only got her own street out of it, but probably a good chunk of change too. It’s a actually a pretty amazing store to take in.

    6. 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers (closely followed by the 1994 Cornhuskers, when we won a National Championship and went undefeated in spite of losing both our starting and backup QBs at various points in the season.)

    But 1995 was better. Undefeated, with no one else even close to beating us. And then, the best part of all–the bowl game against Florida for the NC. Everyone couldn’t stop gushing over how fast Florida was and how they would destroy Nebraska. The Eastern Sports Programming Network (ESPN), in typical fashion, refused to believe that any team west of Ohio and east of USC could play any sort of quality football, confidently predicted a Gator win, as did Sports Illustrated (no matter that Nebraska won the NC the year before). Nebraska proceeded to win 62-24, and Steve Spurrier’s (then the coach of Florida) facial contortions and outbursts during that game remain one of my favorite comedic routines to this day. It cannot be beat. (There is a lovely compilation of highlights from this game–the 1996 Fiesta Bowl–on YouTube, should you not be familiar with this glorious display of football prowess.)

    1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers–the best team in modern college football history. And Pete Carroll and Kirk Herbstreit can put that in their pipes and smoke it.

  20. 2. When I google my name it comes up with a whole list of babies born in my Texas city with their full name, time and date of birth.
    3. If you’re ever looking for oddly named streets check out Columbia, MD every single street name comes from literature.

  21. 3 – My senior high quote was highly original (maybe the only time it has ever been used :P) – please note that I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer tv show at the time:

    “Oh my god! Did you see Buffy last night?”

    6 – I have to agree with Ben – 1991 Atlanta Braves is the season for me (though I imagine that the 2008 season for the Tampa Bay Rays fans was a similar experience).

  22. 1 – It’s not really a night school thing, but there is a program that provides classes in the RI/MA area that I love reading the catalogue for. There’s always something that makes me wonder if people really need classes for…but there’s always something I want to take too! I’ve taken a course on budgeting through them, but next I think I’d like to “earn money reviewing books”

    2 – Google brings the link for my Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter accounts. Other than that it’s the list of my graduating class from College.

    3 – I was absent for the week that they told us to prepare for the quote. When I came back, I needed to give them one quick. It was lame, “Choose a career you love, and never have to work a day in your life”. So ashamed….I was a writer back then…

    6 – I didn’t even have to think about this one. 2004 World Series! Die hard Sox fan here. :0)

  23. 3. There’s a stretch of interstate 55/70 in Troy, IL called “Paul Simon Freeway”. When I first saw that, I was like wait, what? Then I found out it was for the senator, not the musician. :)

  24. 3. My best friend’s yearbook quote was from a Ben Folds Five song: “I want my money back.”

    We went to public school.

  25. 6. Gotta be the 2005 White Sox. First Championship in 88 years. 1st place wire to wire…only lost 1 game in the playoffs. Magical time. Plus it happened in my lifetime, which is more i can say for Cubs fans.

    Also, the ’85 Bears comes to mind…but since i was only 3 when it happened, i cant say i really remember it. But you cant beat the Super Bowl Shuffle

  26. i just googled my name and it is a pathetic return… my facebook page (and 3 family members), a notification of my joining the postal workers union (1 month at a data processing center out of high school), a notification of my joining the institute of managerial accountants (jealous?), and worst yet – a comment on noah blake’s website. yes robert blake’s son. he was on this show “filthy rich cattle drive” about spoiled rich kids and i thought he was great. so one night after a couple drinks i decided to tell the world what a fine young man he seemed to be. i must get that taken down…

  27. 1. Haven’t a clue.

    2. If you Google my madien name you would find that while in college I was in a series of very low budget, horror/comedy flicks. Now, 10 years later, I find this totally embarassing!

    3. I had two senior quotes: One was “We’re on a mission from God” from the Blues Brothers. The other was some Jimi Hendrix song that was never finished before his death. I am sure today it would be something from Dorothy Parker.

    4. I lived in New Haven, CT for a while and there was a street there renamed for Bishop Desmond Tutu.

    5. I didn’t have my identity stolen, but my husband and I did have our credit card info stolen before we were married. Not pleasant, but we got it worked out.

    6. Not much of sports fan, sorry.

  28. I am not a sports fan, partly for the fact that I grew up in New Orleans in the 70s / 80s. The Saints, at that time, were called “The Aints”. I was convinced that my grandfather was going to die of a heart attack yelling at the field from his season ticket seats in the Superdome…

    But what really drives me nuts, is when the basketball team moved to Utah, they didn’t change there name. Who has ever heard of Jazz from Utah? Why haven’t they changed the name already? It’s been 30 years!

  29. Yes, I had my identity stolen and it was unbelievably hard to get it straightened out. Even though I was aware of my purse being stolen and cancelled everything within the hour, they managed to get into my NEW accounts despite repeated visits to the bank. They continued to assure me that my account was closed, only the theives kept managing to deposit other stolen checks into that closed account and get cash back to the tune of $16,000. Fortunately, my credit cards and debit cards were much better protected although we keep a credit watch with the three major agencies, can’t open instant credit anywhere, and constatly worry every time there is a glitch with my debit card. The police said they would likely resell the information every 5 years. For those of you that worry about on-line theft – stop. Your electronic money is much more protected than your plain old checkbook. If you carry it around – stop.

    My favorite sports year was the 1983 Washington Redskins! Clark, Monk and Sanders! Such fun. And I won a really good bet on that Superbowl! Funny, I’m not a Miami fan (only to maintain marital harmony).

  30. 2. a guy in my home town, with my same name was killed in a bar fight which made for an interesting news paper clipping.
    4. i live near a “felch road”

  31. 1. I took improv classes for awhile. It’s much tougher than you’d think. The hardest thing to remember is to never use the word “no”.

    2. The #1 search result for me is my game designer’s page on boardgamegeek.com. While this wouldn’t come as a surprise to my friends, my family and future employers would probably not see that one coming.

    3. “Now it’s over I’m dead and I haven’t done anything that I want / Or I’m still alive and there’s nothing I want to do.” –They Might Be Giants. It addressed my grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side mentality that still persists today.

    4. I live in NYC, all the roads have secondary names for someone. The one I actually remember is 14th St between 3rd Ave and Union Square – Cus D’amato way. (He was a famous boxing manager.)

    5. I had my credit card numbers lifted off me once. I noticed on my bill there was about $50 in various DVD and porn charges. The credit card company sent me a new card and removed those charges no questions asked. The scary part was a month later–I received a letter saying those charges were not dropped after all. I googled the phone number that came with the letter–it was from the scammers performing a follow-up scam. (Obviously, I didn’t bite on that.)

    6. I might have to agree with you on the 1990 Giants. Remember the Monday night game versus the 49ers with each team at 11-1?

  32. 3. Lol. Homer Simpson’s senior quote was “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.”

    6. Ahem – 2008 Phillies. A generation without a championship ended on a split game.

  33. As much as I loved the ’05-’06 Steelers, this year’s Super Bowl was AMAZING!!! Especially going to my first Monday Night game. And, of course, the big win…followed for me by a 5am flight back to Philly for work.

    Oh and if you google me you find a. a lot of people with my name and b. that i was a complete dork in high school!

  34. #6 1996-1997 season Detroit Red Wings. They won a hard-fought Stanley cup, ending a 42 year drought, and (re)began the dynasty they are today. I saw the 03/26/96 game against the Colorado Av’s (boo-hiss!) where McCarty pummeled Lemeiux; great game, great win, great team.

  35. 3) My quote was from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

    6) I might have been only 4 month old when they won the series, but I have to go with the 1986 Mets.

  36. 2) I may or may not have been the president of Ireland decades before I was born. Other than that, there is no info on me except for a balloon artist who shares my name.

    3) We did not have quotes for our senior yearbook, but I imagine mine would have been something profound from a Heinlein novel.

    4) We have Edgar Martinez Way here in Seattle down by Safeco Field. As far as I can tell it is literally just a freeway on-ramp that happens to be near the stadium. Not a very fitting tribute to one of the most important figures in Seattle sports history.
    6) The 1995 Seattle Mariners. We lost Griffey for half the season and were 13 games out in August, but came back and won the division in a one-game playoff with the California Angels (yes, the CALIFORNIA Angels). After that, we were down 2-0 in a five-game series with the Yankees and came back to win the series on an extra-innings walk-off double hit by the afformentioned Edgar Martinez. Easily the greatest thing ever. EVER.

  37. My senior quote is going to be: “True terror is to wake up and realize your high school class is running the country”- Kurt Vonnegut. Yay pessimism!

  38. 1. Apparently there is an underwater basket weaving class at my school (UCSD).

    3. My senior quote was supposed to be “Without me, its just AWESO.” I wrote that down with specific instructions to not edit it, but of course it got edited, and now it reads “Without me its just awesome.” *facedesk*

  39. 1. mother and daughter french braiding

  40. Wow, lots of baseball fans here.

  41. 2. I won a math contest in 7th grade- I’m in college now- Why the heck is that still there?!
    3. I think I put in a quote, but I can’t remember what it was for anything. I’m a freshman in college. It probably had something to do with Harry Potter or such.
    4. There is a 20-yd long street cutting through our town common. It didn’t have a name until I was ten, and a fifth-grade teacher choked on a piece of gum while swimming. I think he got a wing of the school named after him too…
    5. No, knock on wood.
    6. 2005 New England Revolution- this is the team that got me obsessed with soccer. They came back from a 2-0 deficit in the last 15 minutes of the conference semifinals, beat their rivals (chicago) in the conference finals, but lost the championship game (for the second out of four times- they’ve never won). I still loved watching that comeback, and can remember every player on that field that day, even though half of them are long gone…

  42. Google will tell you that I performed at Edgar Allen Poe’s 199th birthday party. Which I did.

    There’s a neighborhood in Phoenix with Emile Zola, Victor Hugo, Voltaire, Captain Dreyfus, and Joan de Arc Avenues. Some developer was really into the Frenchiness.

  43. I googled myself and found out I died in the Iraq War. Which I did not.

  44. 3. I’m not graduating yet, but you’ve peaked my interest.

    “Here’s a good equation: Pokemon + Power Rangers + every other TV show = W00T W00T!!”

  45. 5. I did have my identity stolen at the end of 2007…I have to say, USAA is the best bank ever. They were the ones who alerted me to the fraudulent attempt (someone tried to transfer a large amount of funds from my savings account). I highly recommend them…

  46. 2. That I made dean’s list one semester. Thrilling. Better though? I searched for my dad one time, in some newspaper from states away he had to testify at some guy’s trial where he told how the guy tried to flee while being arrested. My dad talked about how he hit him with the butt of his gun after chasing him through a parking lot. Its pretty fantstic.

    3. Thank goodness there were no senior quotes. Mine surely would have been some obscure line from Strangers with candy, clone high, or any other irreverant comedy show that i find hilarious. In retrospect no one would have gotten it and i would have just seemed wierd. And of course I would do the same thing today because i never learn. I do believe that EVERY other girl in my highschool would have put “dance like no one’s watching” or however that quote goes.

    4. There are alot of Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson streets and highways in my area. Which is funny because the DC area by no means the South.

    5. A kid in 7th grade had his SSN stolen. It was easy for his parents to rectify the situation since obviously a 12 year old wouldn’t have been able to buy a car.

  47. (3) My senior quote was “Better to go wrong in your own way than to go right in someone else’s”, from Fyodor Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment.”

  48. If I remember correctly my senior quote was “If it doesn’t fit, force it. If something breaks it needed replacing anyway.” Now I think I’d say “Never sweat the petty things, but always pet the sweaty things”

  49. My senior quote was: “If you were a hot dog and you were starving, would you eat yourself?” It was a Will Ferrell quote from SNL when he was impersonating Harry Carey. I did all the normal things in high school (cheerleading, student council), but I tried to be that weird kid when everyone else was putting inspirational quotes and bible verses (baptist school).

    In Phoenix/Scottsdale we have Frank Lloyd Wright Blvd and Goldwater Blvd (for Barry Goldwater). Nothing too exciting.

  50. There’s a subdivision in Upper Marlboro, Maryland, where all the streets are named after characters from Star Trek: TNG. Laforge Lane, Crusher Court, Picard Lane, and the misspelled Reiker Drive. I stumbled on it while looking for a house.

  51. Good post. I’ve a lot of posts on shredders. The top-level management in my company has shredders next to their desks. I’m sure in the coming years shredders will be in every home.

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