Ransom Riggs
8 Disastrous Product Names
by Ransom Riggs - May 4, 2009 - 11:12 AM

Times change, the meanings of words change, things get lost in translation. Whatever the reasons, over the years product-makers have hit upon some of the silliest and most unfortunate names for their wares imaginable, and even though many of these aren’t available at your local corner store, they’re still here for us to laugh about. The classic example may be the Chevy Nova, which in Spanish roughly translates to the Chevy doesn’t-go — though strangely, the accidental joke didn’t significantly affect the car’s sales south of the border. But we’re just getting started.

1. Ayds diet candy

The honorary granddaddy of all disastrous product names has to be Ayds, an appetite suppressant “candy” which sold well in the 1970s and early 80s — until the soundalike wasting disease we all know and fear hit the scene. By 1988, sales of Ayds had been so negatively impacted that the company changed the product’s name (to “Diet Ayds,” not much better), but it was eventually withdrawn entirely. Nowdays the product’s slogans are easy fodder for dark humor: Ayds helps you lose weight, Why take diet pills when you can enjoy Ayds? or, my favorite, Thank Goodness For Ayds! Here’s a now-classic commercial:

2. The Golden Gaytime Bar

Gaytime ice cream bars have been sold in New Zealand for decades, and through some trick of marketing genius, have weathered the gradual shift in the popular meaning of the word “gay” without much trouble. Here’s how they did it. This is an old, I think completely unironic commercial for Gaytime (“it’s so hard to have a gaytime on your own!”) —

And here’s a recent Gaytime ad, where they just unapologetically run with it, making fun of their own name:

3. Barf detergent

barfdetergent_small.jpgBarf is an Iranian line of soaps and laundry detergents. In Farsi, “barf” means “snow.” You can also wash your dishes and your hair with Barf.

4. Sars soft drink

509843800-22b93e4663-tm1.jpgAn Australian company called Golden Circle has long manufactured a caramel-flavored Sarsaparilla drink, the abbreviated product name of which is “Sars.” Believe it or not, when the SARS outbreak of 2003 hit, sales of Sars went up: its value as a novelty item apparently outweighed the negative associations.

5. Shitto

can_of_shitto.jpg
This product from Ghana is “a gravy made from dried pepper, smoked dried fish, dried shrimp power, a variety of spices, ginger, onion, garlic, tomatoes and seasoning.” Since English is the official language of Ghana, it doesn’t seem like this can be chalked up to unfortunate happenstance.

6. Pee Cola

pee_cola_2.jpgAnother product from Ghana, where they would have us eating Shitto and drinking Pee. Good Lord.

7. Fart Bars

Fart-Bar_4D01A9C3.jpg
This is too easy. Fart bars are candy from Eastern Europe. Do I even need to make a joke here?

8. Wack Off Insect Repellent

IR0002.jpgYet another Australian product, Wack Off cream is marketed as a “topical strength, water resistant gel — as used by the armed forces!” Can you think of a better endorsement?

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Comments (43)

  1. That gave me a great immature giggle for Monday morning. Thanks!

    posted by JenPo on 5-4-2009 at 11:37 am

  2. loved the fart bar made my monday not as bad as i thought

    posted by Jus on 5-4-2009 at 12:05 pm

  3. Most people associate Corona with beer but my very first car was a Toyota Corona… I had to explain many times that that REALLY was the name.

    posted by Sarah in CA on 5-4-2009 at 12:16 pm

  4. another great australian product, NADS, always makes me chuckle. NADS is used to remove unwanted hair or something. hot wax and NADS usually dont mix.

    posted by sarahsepanek on 5-4-2009 at 12:58 pm

  5. Don’t forget the Wonder Boner http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmanqtahnm8

    posted by Billy Batson on 5-4-2009 at 3:11 pm

  6. I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Ghana and some of the names of things were sources of never ending laughter for us. Product names, store names, etc. By the way, shitto is pronounced “she-toe.”
    And Pee cola is named after Peeman (last name), who is/was also a cigarette distributor if I remember correctly.

    posted by anotherfascist on 5-4-2009 at 3:19 pm

  7. Ayds…yes, I remember those! I thought I was the only person who did.

    And your “Fart” bar makes me “Smirk” –Smirk being the name of a Spanish candy bar I found at my local grocery store. The name was so great that I had to buy it. And, as expected, it wasn’t very good. But the label is a great decoration in my office.

    posted by Rachel on 5-4-2009 at 3:22 pm

  8. I went through a whole period where I was collecting these kind of products (mainly from Japan.) I still own an empty can of Pocari Sweat sports drink, as well as an empty box of that chocolate taste treat, Collon. (Because who’d want a full one?)

    But the jewels of my collection are actually a pair of rolls of Lifesavers candy from Australia which I found out about through the zine “Beer Frame,” (highly recommended.) The flavors? “Musk,” and “Thirst.”

    posted by Joe Maz on 5-4-2009 at 3:44 pm

  9. Going backwards from English, my Swiss friend saw Sierra Mist and laughed her head off. Sierra is Italian for “holy” and mist is German for, politely, “crap”.

    :)

    posted by Kristen on 5-4-2009 at 4:47 pm

  10. chevy nova when sold in spanish speaking countries means wont go.

    posted by dirk alan on 5-4-2009 at 5:02 pm

  11. I’ve always wondered if “evite” is a joke in spanish speaking countries or communities. “evite” is the formal command conjugation of “evitar”, to avoid. It seems like a funny thing to be named for an invitation site.

    posted by InfoMofo on 5-4-2009 at 5:16 pm

  12. @ Kristen: pretty sure Santo is the Italian for ‘holy’ and Sierra is the word for mountain range – well, at least when I lived in Italy and went to church everything was ‘Santo’…

    Also – I specifically bought some SARS for novelty value during the outbreak. It is quite delicious too.

    posted by dangermouse on 5-4-2009 at 6:00 pm

  13. Stewardess, can I take a shitto on board or must I put it in stow?

    posted by Will on 5-4-2009 at 8:40 pm

  14. I am writing to you from Iran.

    I really did not get the point about “Barf detergent”!
    In Farsi “Barf” Means “Snow” but what is wrong with that?
    snow is white and it is used to say that specific detergent make the fabrics as white as snow!

    is it creepy?!

    posted by Neeknegar on 5-4-2009 at 11:57 pm

  15. I can’t believe no one has mentioned Mr Brain’s Faggots, which are eaten in the UK. Also, I learned from the classic movie King Ralph that the English have a dessert called spotted dick. Maybe there needs to be a list of weird English food names.

    posted by NG on 5-5-2009 at 1:38 am

  16. i laughed ’til i almost cried about the shitto and the pee cola- and then the fart bar totally killed me.

    awesome. thank you.

    posted by em on 5-5-2009 at 3:55 am

  17. Pokari Sweat – energy drink from Japan, it’s actually pretty good taste-wise.

    posted by Television Spy on 5-5-2009 at 6:44 am

  18. Actually, the belief about Chevy Novas is a myth. “No va” may mean “It doesn’t go” but “nova” is still a recognizable word in Spanish. It would be like going to a store called Notable Furniture– English speakers wouldn’t assume they didn’t carry tables.

    posted by Mother Chat on 5-5-2009 at 8:15 am

  19. @ Neeknegar:

    In the US, Barf means vomit.

    posted by bryn on 5-5-2009 at 8:44 am

  20. There is a chicken-flavored boullion powder called “cock flavored soup”. A rooster logo is on the front of the package, possibly to avoid confusion.

    posted by Roel on 5-5-2009 at 10:13 am

  21. Shitto: made with dried shrimp power. Awesome.

    @ Neeknegar: in the United States and some other English-speaking countries, “barf” is a slang term for “vomit.”

    posted by 8rustystaples on 5-5-2009 at 10:57 am

  22. I once owned a type of cough medicine/syrup called 666 cough relief. lol. I wish I had never thrown it away!

    posted by Elynorah on 5-5-2009 at 11:59 am

  23. Oh, yes and as an American living in the UK I cannot walk past a kebab shop window where proudly displayed is “Donner Kebab” without a fit of the giggles taking over!

    posted by Elynorah on 5-5-2009 at 12:17 pm

  24. Uhm… not to be a butthole or anything… but Sierra doesn’t exist in Italian. I live in Italy and am fluent in Italian and I can tell you honestly that it doesn’t exist. Santo is Italian for Holy… Speaking of which, an Italian dish that always makes me laugh is ‘Pasta Arrabiatta’ which means Pissed Off Pasta.

    posted by Kate on 5-5-2009 at 12:50 pm

  25. Here’s another good but strange name: a Chinese toothpaste called “Darkie,” because they believed that black people had exceptionally white teeth. It’s still very popular in Asia now, but they changed the English name to “Darlie.” The Chinese though still says “black person.”

    posted by Chellis on 5-5-2009 at 1:11 pm

  26. All the large crisps bags in FInland have MEGA PUSSI written across them. And yes, it’s pronounced the same way.

    posted by conradsuomi on 5-5-2009 at 1:23 pm

  27. LMAO! Totally made my day!

    posted by spamula27 on 5-5-2009 at 5:15 pm

  28. I’m not fluent in Spanish, but doesn’t Colgate mean “hang yourself?”

    posted by alysse on 5-5-2009 at 5:39 pm

  29. You have forgotten ‘Spunk’ salty liquorice from Denmark…

    posted by Somethingfromanything on 5-5-2009 at 7:25 pm

  30. Rode my bike by a place in South Korea yesterday called 비너스 MOTEL – Phonetically, Penis Motel.

    posted by Justin on 5-5-2009 at 10:58 pm

  31. Oh yeah, and there’s a soda brand here called Coolpis.

    posted by Justin on 5-5-2009 at 11:46 pm

  32. Also Calpis from Japan

    posted by Eromanga on 5-6-2009 at 1:38 am

  33. As an Italian I confirm that “holy” is translated into “santo” or “sacro”, “sierra” is a Spanish word.

    As I’m also anal about spelling, I’ll add that the pasta is arrabbiata, not arrabiatta.
    Mis-spelt items on Italian menus are one of my pet peeves :)

    posted by Elisabetta on 5-6-2009 at 3:46 am

  34. I have a can of Sars sitting on my table right now. It’s fabulous!

    posted by Luis on 5-6-2009 at 8:11 am

  35. I brought cans of Calpis and Pocari Sweat back from Japan, but someone stole them.

    I’ve also seen Zit and Pschitt soda in Germany.

    posted by Bill on 5-6-2009 at 11:23 am

  36. Awesome, all of them. Fittingly, my recaptcha is goiters.

    posted by Coaster on 5-6-2009 at 9:03 pm

  37. i, too, spent time in ghana and shitto, (shee-toe) sauce is super good.

    i didn’t know that about the pee cola, but ‘pee’ does mean ‘very’ in twi.

    posted by tilly on 5-6-2009 at 10:04 pm

  38. @alysse: Spanish “hang yourself” is “cuelgate.” Stupid irregular verbs.

    I know, because I got it wrong: I made a joke about Colgate in Mexico, and the Spanish-speakers could not figure out what I was talking about. Embarrassing!

    posted by James on 5-7-2009 at 1:28 pm

  39. However, in Argentina where the Spanish is mixed up with Italian, Colgate does mean hang yourself.

    posted by Mab on 5-7-2009 at 2:14 pm

  40. Hilarious. Also, another Australian product with an unfortunate name :

    COON is Australia’s best known cheese brand. For more than 75 years COON has been as Aussie as the Hills Hoist.

    Dairy Farmers’ COON is a versatile natural cheddar cheese that is 100% natural and free from preservatives.

    Dairy Farmers offers a selection of COON cheeses in block, shredded and sliced varieties as well as various flavours the whole family will love, from original tasty to Light & Tasty, Extra Tasty, Swiss and Colby.

    A COON Snapshot:

    posted by Patrick on 5-8-2009 at 8:36 am

  41. I don’t know the story as to how they got their name, but FAG bearings in Missouri always brings a smile when I drive by their factory. I’m betting their company logo shirts and hats don’t move off the shelf very quickly. (Link under name)

    posted by Mike on 5-11-2009 at 12:29 pm

  42. @dangermouse @Kate

    Swiss dialects of German, French, and Italian can be subtly or totally different than their standard counterparts. I lived in Switzerland for awhile and while I lived in the German part (Zürich), regularly spoken Swiss-German had some odd differences from the standard German I learned in school, and I would imagine the situation would be similar in Italian parts of the country. So it’s possible that would explain the discrepancy, but I don’t know any kind of Italian so I couldn’t say for sure. :)

    posted by DDog on 8-25-2009 at 10:49 am

  43. Regarding Golden Gaytime icecreams, they are available in Australia too and they are amazing. Real men aren’t afraid to eat them in public.

    posted by tasmanian devil on 1-29-2010 at 8:48 pm

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