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Best I can tell (and believe me, I’m surprised), he’s a real person, perhaps one who wrote an evil bot program and named it after himself. He apparently lives in Sacramento. And this, I have reason to believe, is his photo.
For most of my time as a blogger I have mightily feared the Wayback Machine, mostly because I used to write a ridiculous little website in high school that I hope no one ever sees again. But yesterday, oh, yesterday, the Wayback Machine came through for me — it found Jonny.
As you’ll recall, Jonny likes to leave a link to his website, www.jonny.com, which has no content. But it was not always thus. According to Wayback, Jonny once had plans for the website; he went through several designs, one of which featured the photo above. Also, once upon a time in 2005, Jonny used this domain to try and sell a used BMW. And he was naive enough to put his email address and cell phone right on the web page, for me and everyone else on earth to see. “For more information or a test drive give me a ring anytime,” he said.
So, should I take him up on that? What should I do first? Phone call or email? Ambush operation or straightforward j’accuse? Tell me in the comments, and I shall act accordingly tomorrow. I’m really, really looking forward to this. I feel like a freakin’ superhero.
PS: I’m not terribly worried about taking on a man of great intellect here. In my Googling, I found a comment our friend Jonny had left on another blog which, for him, was pretty substantive: “that girl who was talking about her boyfriend is the pinnicle of retardedness and she has poos for a nose and wees for her hair.” At least it’s more than one word long.
Comments (10)
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What a nematode. Call him! I’m ashamed to share my name with him and his poor cat! He’s the pinnAcle of irritation and poorly made up words.
posted by Johnny Cat on 10-25-2006 at 5:19 pm
Call that filthy wanker! Go for the kill!
posted by Jarred Hanson on 10-25-2006 at 6:01 pm
Couldn’t we just send him to Michael J. Fox as a stem cell donor?
posted by Sheldon Siegel on 10-25-2006 at 7:07 pm
Methinks you may be benefitting the nimrod more than you intend (and much to his delight) the more you talk and post about him, n’est-ce pas?
posted by Alan on 10-25-2006 at 7:22 pm
I think simply calling him out would be a waste of the effort you put into finding him. If he isn’t a mentalfloss reader, he doesn’t know you know. Which means you can prank him. Or take some other elaborate, poetically justified revenge.
For example, get him subscriptions to fetish magazines, sign him up for services, junk mail catalogs, etc.
Or just post his email and home address and let your readers figure something out.
posted by Jordan on 10-25-2006 at 8:16 pm
Admirable work! You’ve put to rest my creeping suspicion that spammers are actually an army of robots intent on one day taking over the world and enslaving us, Judgement-Day-style. Rather, they are simple nematodes with poos of noses and wee for hair, just like us.
posted by Ransom on 10-26-2006 at 12:38 am
I’m with Jordan – post his info and let the readers have a go at him. I’m sure many of us are quite devious (deviant?) souls. Hehehe
posted by Boz on 10-26-2006 at 10:24 am
I’m with Jordan and Boz – PRANK HIM!!! How else will he learn?
Did you do a reverse look-up on his phone number to get his street address? Lots of free and embarrasing information can be sent to his mailbox – both mailboxes.
With the advent of tracable email and caller ID, pranking has to be much more devious than it used to be, but I have complete faith in you and the readers that we can come up with something befitting this nematode!
P.S. I just looked up nematode and have learned my new word for the day. See how Jonny made me smarter? HA!
posted by Susan on 10-26-2006 at 12:46 pm
Obviously Johnny is a 6 year old boy trapped in an unattractive Trekkie man body (no offense to the Trekkies out there).
I would vote you call him. I mean, realistically, he’s probably been emailed several times and isn’t getting to all of it. If you call him ANYTIME, he’ll be bound to answer. Well, you’d think he would as he posted the number… or is it the number to his grandma’s house and when you call at 2am she’s going to go pull Johnny out of bed by his ear?
posted by The Irish Gangster on 10-26-2006 at 1:23 pm
Well what have you done, Jonny has attacked me as well and I was looking for revenge online
posted by Frank on 11-5-2006 at 1:32 pm