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Lonely Pig in Quarantine
Due to fear of swine flu, Afghanistan has quarantined its pig. Yes, the nation’s only pig, normally on display with other exotic wildlife at the Kabul Zoo. In accord with Muslim dietary restrictions, pork and pork products are illegal in Afghanistan. Some visitors to the zoo expressed concern that the zoo pig could spread the new strain of swine flu.
“For now the pig is under quarantine, we built it a room because of swine influenza,” Aziz Gul Saqib, director of Kabul Zoo, told Reuters. “We’ve done this because people are worried about getting the flu.”
Runner Expected to Finish Marathon in 13 Days
Army Major Phil Packer began the London Marathon when everyone else did, but his doctor will only allow him to walk two miles a day, so he is expected to finish on Saturday, 13 days after starting the race. Last year Packer was seriously injured in Iraq and was told he probably would never walk again. However, he is walking the marathon on crutches to raise money for Help for Heroes, a British organization that supports wounded veterans. Packer’s goal is to raise £1 million; he has so far raised over half the amount.
Speed Camera Boss Banned for Speeding
Tom Riall, a divisional chief executive at Serco, was banned from driving for six months by a court in London after a camera recorded him driving at 103 miles per hour in a 70 mph zone. Riall heads the Home Affairs division of Serco, the company that has installed 4,500 speed cameras to date in Britain.
Man Caught with Songbirds in Pants
Customs agents at the Los Angeles International Airport noticed bird droppings and feathers on 46-year-old Sony Dong’s shoes. They discovered that Dong had 14 Asian songbirds hidden in his pants legs. Dong said that he had purchased the bul-buls, thrushes, and magpies robins in Vietnam for $50 each and could sell them for several hundred dollars apiece. Another California man, 34-year-old Duc Le, was arrested in the bird smuggling operation after a search at his home revealed 51 more songbirds. The birds were placed in quarantine.
It Was An Accident
A 30-year-old woman in China was performing oral sex on her boss in a parked car when a van crashed into their vehicle. The impact caused the secretary to bite off the man’s penis! Emergency services were called by an investigator who had been following the couple. The investigator was hired by the secretary’s husband because he suspected her of being unfaithful. The woman took the severed organ to the hospital, but it was not reported whether it was reattached.
Beetle Named for Stephen Colbert
Humorist Stephen Colbert had expressed a wish to have a species named after him, specifically “something cooler than a spider.” Insect researchers Quentin Wheeler of Arizona State University and Kelly Miller from the University of New Mexico have granted his wish and named a newly identified beetle Agaporomorphus colberti in his honor. There will plenty more beetles to be named, as there are an estimated 1.5 million species yet to be studied.
Giant Spiders Invade Outback Town
Bowen, Australia is seeing in influx of eastern tarantulas, also known as “bird-eating spiders”. Dozens of spiders have crawled out of gardens and have made their way into public areas of the town. These spiders grow up to 2.4 inches long with a leg span of over six inches! Their bite can kill a dog or make a human very sick.
Audy Geiszler, who runs a local pest control service, caught one this week that more than covered his hand after he killed it.
“I think I’m going to mount this one in acrylic to show people how big it is. It’ll make a great paperweight.”
Comments (14)
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The marathon story isn’t weird, but it is cool! Way to go Phil Packer! To go from “never walk again” to finishing a marathon (even in 13 days) is pretty sweet.
Loved the speed camera guy one.
And the secretary and her boss. So cliche! I’d say the cheater got what he deserved. I don’t know about her though–though biting um, that, off had to be a bit traumatic, so perhaps there is some justice there. :) And how could they not report if it was reattached–they have to know that it’s the question everyone is asking!
posted by kate on 5-8-2009 at 9:53 am
Those poor birds. They didn’t look very much alive in that photo. But I guess they are.
I’m glad you didn’t post the photo of that spider. Yikes!
posted by Tracie on 5-8-2009 at 10:06 am
The secretary incident is reminiscent of the scene in John Irving’s The World According to Garp when Helen ‘ends’
her affair with her student in the driveway of her home by fellating him one last time in his car. Garp careens in to the driveway with his lights off and rearends the lover’s car.
posted by kellynnw on 5-8-2009 at 10:32 am
I’m sorry Kate but I have to say it. “The cheater got what he deserved”?? Harsh. Smacked in the groin, sure. Punched in the groin, ok. Kicked in the groin, I’ll give you that one too. BITTEN OFF!?!? Ouch!!!! On that note though, does that mean SHE would deserve the same thing for cheating on her husband? I just want you to think about that same amount of pain in your nether-region. LOL
posted by Cheezy on 5-8-2009 at 10:54 am
the woman was cheating on her husband, with her boss. the investigator was hired by her husband.
posted by the creature on 5-8-2009 at 11:10 am
I stand by my statement–I feel no sympathy for him. And yes, if the situation were reversed between the two, I would not feel sorry for her either. Even his admittedly grievous injury would heal faster than the damage caused by that level of betrayal in a marriage.
posted by kate on 5-8-2009 at 11:55 am
the creature is absolutely right. No where does it mention the boss was married, so he isn’t the cheater if he isn’t married. Poor conduct yes, but not cheating.
I have to disagree with you Kate. The only men that deserve this fate are rapists and child molesters. Cheating is a paltry offense in comparison.
posted by Bert on 5-8-2009 at 12:02 pm
We don’t know about a reattachment because the story (which happened in Singapore) was taken from a Chinese newspaper, translated, then republished at a Malaysian site in English. There may have been updates or more information at the original site.
posted by Miss Cellania on 5-8-2009 at 12:04 pm
Just because the boss may not have been married, doesn’t mean he wasn’t at fault. It takes two, you know? He shouldn’t have been causing problems in other people’s marriages. Quite frankly, I’m impressed, at the impact of the vehicles, that she didn’t choke on his “member” instead of just biting it off.
Yes, it’s possible her marriage was terrible, etc., but we’ll never know, and don’t need to. Either way, it should teach them not to hold their affairs in parked cars, at the very least :)
Sad about those birds, they certainly didn’t look comfortable. But mostly I feel for those spiders. I wonder what is causing the sudden outflux from their natural habitat? Either way, the guy who killed one shouldn’t be so crass as to make jokes about the death of another creature.
I am really impressed by the guy running the marathon. What a great thing to do, and what an achievement. Just goes to show what we’re all capable of, if we have the motivation :)
p.s. that poor pig!!!!! At least it got a new room :)
posted by L on 5-8-2009 at 12:18 pm
Okay, this is totally funny to me, especially as a vegetarian. After reading the article about that pig, there is an advertisement at the bottom of the article for:
Pork is safe, Get the facts about Pork!
Too funny! That poor pig!
posted by Sara on 5-8-2009 at 12:21 pm
Bert, you’re welcome to disagree with me. I value marriage and the emotional and physical fidelity that comes with it. The depth of breaking that bond of trust is an incredibly cruel thing to do, and I personally would never be with a guy who thought adultery a “paltry offense.” That being said, you’re entitled to your opinion, and I am certainly entitled to mine as well.
posted by kate on 5-8-2009 at 12:40 pm
I call BS on the “can kill a dog!!” panic line in the spider story. I keep tarantulas, and can verify that the bite, even for Australian species, is typically no worse than a wasp sting. If the dog happened to be allergic, maybe. Tarantulas are pretty much harmless.
Funnel webs (Atrax robustus) are a whole different genus, and can cause harm to a human. They’re vastly over-hyped too, though.
posted by Zach on 5-8-2009 at 1:18 pm
Hey it’s cool Kate. I feel the same way about marriage as you and everyone else. I’m just not an eye for an eye person I guess. I believe in justice but I also believe that it doesn’t come at the price of losing “Mr. Wrinkles” or cutting off a “Hoo-Ha” to get it. lol
posted by Cheezy on 5-8-2009 at 1:57 pm
C’mon. The article regarding the secretary and the boss’ member came from the SIN CHEW DAILY? You are kidding me….
posted by Merlinsmom on 5-8-2009 at 10:19 pm