Those who’ve been following this blog for a long time probably remember my old Weekend Word Wraps, and all the complaining I used to do about expressions like, like. And you might remember my suggestion for those who felt the need to insert like into every other sentence, to use it’s not unlike, instead—in order to snap the habit.
So, the sentence She was, like, a raging lunatic that night, becomes She was not unlike a raging lunatic that night—much harder to say.
Now that like has mercifully waned in popularity, I have a new bone to pick: I mean.
It’s everywhere!!! Have others noticed this, or is it just me?
You can’t have a conversation with anyone any more without them peppering every couple sentences with an I mean.
“She was a raging lunatic that night. I mean, I didn’t know what to do. I mean, she was so annoying.”
Is that what you mean? Really? As annoying as you with your I means?
And it’s moved beyond conversation, into e-mail now. Just look at this screen grab from an e-mail I found in my inbox yesterday.
Out of hand, right?
What’s going on here? Any ideas? Any annoying phrases or words that really get your goat these days?
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Guilty as charged. I don’t notice it because I’m the one saying it.
posted by Tricia on 5-21-2009 at 6:58 am
I know, right!
My suggestion: substitute “which is to say,” rather than “I mean,” when you feel it approaching your mouth.
posted by sethaurus on 5-21-2009 at 7:35 am
I’m somewhat guilty of the ‘like’ but I seem to be breaking the habit.
A few examples of things that bother me while having a conversation:
‘These ones look good’ – These ones?
‘Oh I know right’ (valley girl accent) – you sound stupid, don’t talk like that.
and my last, but most favorite. While I am telling a story, or explaining something, do not ask ‘really?’ after I’m done with every sentence. It makes me want to walk away. Sometimes grammar is like, totally thrown under the table. I mean, it’s just like, totally crazy how that happens.
posted by mendy on 5-21-2009 at 7:59 am
I think it is related to, and possibly a contraction of, “do you know what I mean” that has been so common with rappers and athletes for the last 10 years or so. The two phrases are nearly interchangeable and, while I don’t love “I mean,” at least it’s less invasive than the longer alternative.
posted by Courtney on 5-21-2009 at 8:06 am
I actually noticed that I do this. I was writing a facebook message, and I read over it and EVERY sentence (and there was a lot of them) had an I mean in it. I typed “I mean” into my find in this page thing, five hits in one SMALL paragraph. I have been trying to stop ever since I noticed this a week ago, but, it isn’t quite working out too well. I mean it is a habit I need to break, and eventually I will break it.
:] but I saw this and was like, NO WAY THERE ARE OTHERS LIKE ME?!?!
posted by K.Schaubz on 5-21-2009 at 8:07 am
The word I hear a million times a day is “just”. Listen to any athlete’s postgame interview and they’ll say “We just went out there and just played our game.” It’s everywhere.
posted by Peter C. on 5-21-2009 at 8:28 am
Agree with “just.” When I finish a rough draft, or I’m editing another person’s work, I start with a search for “just” and delete it. There’s never been an instance in what I’ve read where it was needed. I also purge “that” quite a bit.
As for everyday speech, phrases don’t often get my goat, but I am not a fan of people saying “in my opinion” or “it is to me.” Example:
“The house is right on the corner.”
“That house? The one three houses down?”
“Well, it’s right on the corner to me.”
One of the quirks that makes my wife interesting.
posted by Matthew on 5-21-2009 at 8:39 am
I hate the phrase “you know,” like, you know?
posted by KittyMarie on 5-21-2009 at 8:43 am
KittyMarie, that’s exactly the one that came to mind when I started thinking about it.
My sister pulls that one one me constantly. I used to think it required an answer, like she really wanted to know if I understood. Now I simply keep quiet.
posted by Carrie on 5-21-2009 at 8:51 am
One of my peeves is when people actually start using chat room lingo …for example:
“OMG! did she really say that?”
Just say what you mean….no one is impressed that you spend a lot of time online…….
posted by lizhot on 5-21-2009 at 8:52 am
As a middle school teacher, I can say that “like” is not dead yet. I will be instituting the “it’s not unlike” rule with my classes next year. The text-speak, as lizhot defines, is present and accounted for in droves as well.
posted by gamelyn on 5-21-2009 at 9:11 am
I mean… seriously… are people like really doing that?
posted by Dan on 5-21-2009 at 9:12 am
You can always tell when you should stop listening to whatever pundit is on TV when they begin a sentence with “Look”. It’s patronizing AND irritating!
posted by Danny on 5-21-2009 at 9:16 am
“I know, right” as affirmation takes the place of “I know” or “I agree completely” and their ilk.
I CANNOT STOP MYSELF FROM SAYING IT. IT IS AUTOMATIC (I know, right!)
posted by Tom on 5-21-2009 at 9:25 am
I can’t stand when people say “…the thing is, is that…” My mother says it all the time and it drives me insane.
posted by Vanessa on 5-21-2009 at 9:25 am
Who cares? Get over it.
It’s just another form of variation in language; it’s just how people talk.
What are you, some kind of pretentious prescriptionist?
posted by Julia on 5-21-2009 at 9:31 am
webinar
posted by dhaval on 5-21-2009 at 9:46 am
I have been trying to break my habit of starting every other sentence with “so”. It’s annoying to me and I’m sure to others as well. I can’t figure out when I started doing it, but now that I’m aware of it I’ve noticed others doing it as well.
A friend’s dad started almost every sentence with “Actually” or “Well, actually”.
posted by Sue on 5-21-2009 at 9:56 am
I hate “my bad”….it’s not even proper english or a complete thought! I have even had teachers use it!
posted by Sarah in IN on 5-21-2009 at 10:00 am
Gee, I wonder if “as well” is a problem phrase for me too? See my post above.
posted by Sue on 5-21-2009 at 10:00 am
Gee, I wonder if “as well” is a problem phrase for me too? See my post above where I used it twice within 3 sentences.
posted by Sue on 5-21-2009 at 10:09 am
I hate when people say “How ____ is that?” As in “How cute is that?” or “How great is that?” I always want to say, “I don’t know. How cute IS it?”
posted by Wendy on 5-21-2009 at 10:10 am
Sorry for the double post…computer glitch
posted by Sue on 5-21-2009 at 10:11 am
The thing that’s been bothering me for a while now is when I ask someone how they’re doing and they tell me that they’re “well.” I didn’t ask if they were sick for crying out loud. The other bad part about this is that I know my grammar and syntax aren’t the greatest so it’s also kind of a who am I to say anything moment.
posted by David on 5-21-2009 at 10:12 am
“I mean” is a conversational tic, and we all use them in one form or another. The person who emailed you was clearly trying to sound informal and conversational so that the rest of the sentence didn’t sound so didactic. Email is a form that most people take to be less formal, so that’s why they’re more likely to include their tics in the text.
I used to tell my Written Communications students that people will judge you on how well you write, but people who correct your grammar in conversation need to get over themselves.
posted by Klinger on 5-21-2009 at 10:21 am
“I’m not gonna lie…”
(I would hope you aren’t going to lie to me about what is bothering you…)
“No really though”
(I didn’t believe you, so this definitely reinforces your statement)
posted by Andy on 5-21-2009 at 10:31 am
I agree w/ Klinger. Written and oral communication are different. My high school English teacher told us that if you have time to write it, you have time to write it well. Conversation is generally informal so a certain amount of slang, idioms and general sloppiness is to be expected.
posted by TBV on 5-21-2009 at 10:35 am
I HATE-with a passion-the word “addicting.” Anytime I hear someone say “That’s so addicting!” I want to start screaming.
So far as the “conversational tics” like I mean, like, etc. have never really bothered me. What bothers me is when they show up in writing. Informal writing in casual emails and such I can understand. What I don’t understand is how it can be reproduced in formal writing.
posted by Tenshi99 on 5-21-2009 at 10:35 am
I’ve been noticing that politicians say “Look” at the beginning of every sentence. It drives me nuts! A lot of them also say, “Like I said,” even if they haven’t previously said anything about it.
posted by Jen on 5-21-2009 at 10:39 am
The overuse of “literally” is, like, I mean, literally everywhere! It’s being used to emphasize words like “almost” & “nearly” so you “literally almost get hit by a car”, “literally rained nearly an inch”. I’m hearing it more and more on news broadcasts, which should be reporting news, not trying to exaggerate it.
posted by pegcity on 5-21-2009 at 10:41 am
“I know, right?” seems to be a take-off on “You know.”
How can that be a response to everything? I know, right?
posted by Hyacinth on 5-21-2009 at 11:05 am
I have broken my grandchildren, each in their turn, of saying “you know” at the end of every sentence. Just by repeating it each time they said it. I warn them ahead of time and smile when I do it. None of them say it any more.
My current drive-me-round-the bend word is “OK?”. Complete with the question mark. I hear cops say this to the people they are arresting on various tv shows. I enjoy “People’s Court” but Judge Milian is also guilty of asking “OK?” at the end of too many sentences when she handing down her judgment. I keep waiting for someone to reply that it’s not OK.
posted by Starduster on 5-21-2009 at 11:10 am
I started noticing these filler words in the speech of myself and others after joining Toastmasters. Now I find myself counting ahs, ums, likes, ya-knows and i-means in everybody’s speech. I’m very annoying like that now. Thanks Toastmasters International!
posted by Jason on 5-21-2009 at 11:15 am
I don’t see any easing up on the LIKE front, and I MEAN is one of the most obnoxious word combos in the English language. I’m guilty of both, and until I start surrounding myself with a better class of loser that won’t trip up my good intentions of not saying LIKE or I MEAN, then I am cursed with catching both of those no-nograms slipping into my daily conversation.
posted by k8 on 5-21-2009 at 11:27 am
I’m tired of everything being called “fierce” lately.
ugh.
posted by the creature on 5-21-2009 at 11:51 am
I have several word peeves.
I hate hearing the word “like” used as a substitute for “said.”
“And then I was like, ‘oh no you didn’t.’ And then she was like, ‘oh yes I did!’ And I was like, uh-uh girl.”
I’ve noticed “I mean,” but I don’t hear it much. I do hear “you know” a lot, and since Obama has been in the news, I often hear “look” or “listen” at the beginning of a sentence.
I also hear the phrases “I’m just saying” and “I’m not saying” a lot, especially at the end of the sentence. I’ve even heard them in the same sentence next to each other, as in “blah blah blah. I’m not sayin’, I’m just saying.” And that was the end of the sentence.
And my other word peeve is “so.” Starting a conversation or especially an advertisement with the word “so” to make it sound like the continuance of a conversation is annoying. “So the other day I heard about this great nutrition bar.” And then ending a sentence with “so,” leading the listener to believe that the speaker has more to say, or that the speaker doesn’t know how to conclude his sentence.
I’m guilty of some of this, but I try to avoid it when I catch myself doing it.
posted by Civisi on 5-21-2009 at 11:53 am
My roommate likes to end every sentence (when he’s on the phone) with SO. I don’t really get it, but it does get annoying.
Is it really necessary to use the word obvious? No.
I don’t use the word like unless I’m giving an example. Having to hear kids say like after every other work, like, totally like irks me.
posted by Noel on 5-21-2009 at 12:01 pm
Another one I hear is “and stuff,” used immediately after mentioning specific objects or actions, whether or not additional objects or actions are actually present or intended.
posted by Civisi on 5-21-2009 at 12:05 pm
One of my best friends says “You know what I mean?” pretty much after every sentence. Once I started noticing, I couldn’t stop and it drives me crazy. I’m too chicken to say anything to her because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, so I suffer in silence.
posted by Jay on 5-21-2009 at 12:26 pm
I’m with Sue. When did the word “so” become so popular with people (and thus annoying to me)? Just tell me what you’re thinking – or ask your question! Don’t hang the word “so” in front of your address… written OR oral!
posted by TomH on 5-21-2009 at 12:34 pm
I really am not bothered with the tics mentioned unless they are every other word. My thing is when people end a sentance with an inflection at the end making it sound like a question.
posted by Jennifer on 5-21-2009 at 12:51 pm
When I was a teenager, I would end nearly every sentence with “You know what I mean?” and my mom would always say “No, I don’t know what you mean.” Every. Single. Time. I don’t say that anymore.
Having a teenager that would want to talk to her mom was some kind of miracle, but my mom didn’t see it that way.
If you get past how people say things, you might start listening to what they are telling you.
posted by Emily on 5-21-2009 at 1:02 pm
“Same difference”. That, like, makes SO little sense. Y’know?
posted by Jon on 5-21-2009 at 1:13 pm
I cannot stand when people end their sentences with an unnecessary preposition. “Where’s my coat at?” Then I see cell phone commercials say “where you at?” Seriously? Someone from Ohio must have written that – being from Ohio I’ve heard too many people talk that way. I’ve caught myself many times, but after hearing so many people not realizing how stupid they sound, I stopped.
posted by Christina on 5-21-2009 at 1:38 pm
“Or whatever” – I think people tack thin onto a sentence to imply a fashionable apathy. The smartest people I know do this all the time, I guess its supposed to be humbling?
Real life example: “It’s because variation in the gene makes the symptoms more severe or whatever.”
Really?!
posted by Lynn on 5-21-2009 at 2:08 pm
I can’t believe that nobody has jumped on the word BASICALLY. Basically, it’s everywhere on television.
I have a coworker that has to say either ‘Hello?’ or ‘Shut up!’ after every sentence.
posted by TC on 5-21-2009 at 2:43 pm
I used to say “like” all the time when I was in elementary school. Luckily for me, my fifth grade teacher broke me of that habit. Now, I have recently realized that I say “you know” a lot. Trying to break that one too.
I think that part of the reason for these “verbal tics” is that we are in such a hurry, we don’t actually think about what we’re saying, so our brain automatically fills in the blanks with one of those “verbal tics”.
posted by AmyD on 5-21-2009 at 3:44 pm
I HATE it when rappers, ball players, teenagers, EVERYONE inserts “know whut I’m sayin’?” into every sentence, and quite often, two or three times into a single thought. No, I do NOT know what you’re saying until after you’ve said it and if you say that phrase one more time, I shall scream. Maybe it is “the way people talk,” but it’s verbal hiccuping and it’s annoying.
posted by Siobhan on 5-21-2009 at 4:08 pm
The “OK?” that gets tacked onto the ends of so many sentences drives me bonkers too, leaving me wanting to say “NO!! It’s NOT OK!!”
Another irritating phrase I’ve heard is “…and that, and everything”. As in, “We went to the mall yesterday, and that, and everything, and then some guy got stopped for shoplifting, and that, and everything… (and on and on, ad infinitum).
I guess my biggest gripe, though, is hearing the word “goes” instead of “said” or “says”. Arrgh!
posted by Mama9cats on 5-21-2009 at 4:11 pm
I absolutely agree with you about the overuse of the phrase “I mean.” Even more irksome to me is when it is used as a ‘thought-filler’ at the beginning of a response.
Interviewer: How you you feel your team performed today out on the field?
Random Sports Hero: I mean, we could have stepped up our game in the first half, but we played our hearts out.
OR
Interviewer: How did you decide to add our city to your concert tour?
Random Pop Celeb: I mean, it’s the best city, right? So we couldn’t leave it off the tour!
See what I mean? “I mean” is supposed to be a clarifier to something that has already been said! What, exactly, is being clarified if it is used at the beginning of a response?
(Okay…I’m taking my soapbox and going home now. I mean, I’m ending this comment post.)
posted by Donna L on 5-21-2009 at 4:18 pm
“most unique” drives me nuts. something is either unique or it is not. there are no varying degrees of unique. grrr!
posted by Heyoka1201 on 5-21-2009 at 4:28 pm
I’m with you, Heyoka1201, on people modifying “unique.” It makes me crazy. The worst though is people talking in text messaging like “OMG.” I actually heard someone say “LOL” the other day instead of actually laughing.
posted by Sissi on 5-21-2009 at 4:45 pm
I have two examples.
The first is when people end their sentences with “or”.
As in, “So, do you want me to set up the meeting or….”
Or what?
Second, it seems fashionable in the news these days to use the word “decimated” in place of the word “destroyed”
I guess they think it sounds cool to say “The bridge was totally decimated!” but decimated means to kill one in 10 people, not to destory an object
posted by TheBear on 5-21-2009 at 4:48 pm
@Heyoka1201
totally agree. but it’s usually “really unique,” no?? that one always irks me.
posted by David K. Israel on 5-21-2009 at 5:02 pm
It annoys me when people misuse the word “myself.” As in, “Please see myself after the meeting to sign up for …” Or “Please see Joe or myself.” Has everyone gotten it into their heads that the word “me” is completely forbidden? People that use “myself” incorrectly are just trying to sound smarter than they really are. Kind of like people who always say “whom” instead of “who” — sometimes it is “whom,” but “who” is okay too.
Also – irregardless. Teeth are grinding.
posted by Sarah on 5-21-2009 at 5:04 pm
TheBear, “decimate” used to bother me until I looked it up. Although the one in 10 definition may be its etymological root, it’s now listed as obsolete in the Random House Dictionary. I recommend reading the usage entries on Dictionary.com; they’re interesting (in a nerdy sort of way).
I’ve nearly stopped using “like” as a filler. I realized I needed to stop after I noticed how annoying it is. I do start some sentences with “I mean,” but I don’t think it’s a plague on language the way “like” is.
posted by Lynne on 5-21-2009 at 5:20 pm
Lynne: I just looked it up on dictionary.com and I stand by my original statement.
Although I’m tolerant when the word is used to describe the killing of a large number of people, not strictly one in ten, nowhere on dictionary.com does it imply that you can use the word to describe the destruction of an inanimate object.
Thanks for the tip though :)
posted by TheBear on 5-21-2009 at 5:32 pm
One wonders if these things behave like viruses… Spreading through auditory contact and eventually either dying out or being supplanted…
posted by brick_city_man on 5-21-2009 at 6:22 pm
I am just glad to know that “like” is fading. I have been hearing it a Lot lately from both generations below me. Came out of Mother’s Day weekend with a sore tongue from biting it so much.
posted by Susan Mix on 5-21-2009 at 6:27 pm
Very nice, brick_city_man, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. The English language is dying of a wasting disease that is slowly but surely depleting it of all grammar.
posted by NyghtBeauty on 5-21-2009 at 8:50 pm
I loathe “Where are you AT” or “Where is it AT!” It doesn’t help that national ad campaigns are built on this!
posted by Lilly on 5-21-2009 at 9:13 pm
I don’t have any compulsory tics (I don’t use these all the time, but I say “whatnot” and “pretty much” a lot.
posted by Isaac on 5-21-2009 at 10:50 pm
Ha ha Jennifer don’t come to New Zealand anytime soon, we’d drive you nuts! Most young people here give almost all their statements a rising inflection. I’m guilty of it myself? And I really want to stop? But I can’t? You know what I mean?
posted by Nita on 5-21-2009 at 11:04 pm
Nother. As in a “whole nother.” NOT A WORD!! Everyone says it. I even hear it on tv. People don’t even realize they say it. If I hear someone say it, sometimes I’ll ask them, “What does nother mean?” and every time they look at me dumbfounded. PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT WORD!!
Recaptcha: vacuous Henry
posted by Jasmine on 5-21-2009 at 11:59 pm
It seems that words such as “like” and phrases such as “I mean” help people feel as though than can speak freely without having to be certain of what they really mean. “He was like…” is not really the same thing as “he said…” because “he was like…” gives the speaker freedom to paraphrase and exaggerate without misquoting or lying. And it’s funny because “I mean…” really just says “I don’t know what I really mean…”
I’m not sure if the problem isn’t more uncertainty than vernacular.
posted by Tricia on 5-22-2009 at 12:17 am
I run into two phrases constantly that I just don’t understand the obsession with. The first is the constant use of “I feel you” instead of “I understand” or “I agree.”
The other is the frequent use of “anyways.” I’ve received messages from people in which “Anyways…” is the beginning of every other sentence. Strange…
The words that were forever on the tongues of kids in my younger days were “cool” and “Not!” I hope they’ve outlived their popularity as well.
reCaptcha: be orates
posted by Anastasia on 5-22-2009 at 2:42 am
Two others that come to mind suddenly:
“Want to go with?” and “Let’s do it after!”
With who? With what? After what??? When is that?
reCaptcha: generous two
posted by Anastasia on 5-22-2009 at 2:44 am
“I mean” is bad, but it is 1000 times worse when combined with “come on.” I find that those who frequently use the phrase “I mean, come on!” inevitably reveal themselves to be stupid in other ways.
My efforts to translate this phrase have not been entirely successful, but it seems that the previously mentioned stupid people use it to indicate that they believe an idea to be self-evident or universally understood. This is usually not the case.
The phrase “I don’t care who you are, that’s funny!” works the same way, and in my experience is only uttered by a stupid person immediately after some idea or joke which only they find funny.
posted by Colby on 5-22-2009 at 12:44 pm
I hate HATE when people get something wrong and ‘correct’ by saying “Just kidding!” If you were kidding you’d be funny, so stop it.
posted by heather on 5-22-2009 at 4:10 pm
One that annoys me is “basically.” It doesn’t add anything to the sentence. You could remove the word from these examples and still keep the same meaning:
“Basically my job is to do the bookkeeping.”
“We are basically a political organization.”
“My blog is basically about technology news.”
See? It’s an unnecessary word that adds no meaning to the sentence. Get rid of it!
posted by Jaclyn on 5-23-2009 at 11:26 am
One that annoys me is “basically.” It doesn’t add anything to the sentence. You could remove the word from these examples and still keep the same meaning:
“We are basically a political organization.”
“Basically my job is to do the bookkeeping.”
“My blog is basically about technology news.”
See? It’s an unnecessary word that adds no meaning to the sentence. Get rid of it!
posted by Jaclyn on 5-23-2009 at 11:40 am
I completely agree with Jennifer – there are many overused phrases that drive me nuts, but they’re made a 1000 times worse when that inflection is there? In every sentence of a conversation?
I, on the other hand, am guilty of beginning many sentences with “Apparently …”. I have the curse of being a constant skeptic.
posted by mr. wickets on 5-23-2009 at 12:48 pm
In my honors literacy class, my friend and I sat for all 45 minutes couting how many times people said “like.” In 45 minutes, people said “like” 233 times… oof.
posted by Savannah on 5-23-2009 at 3:05 pm
I’m guilty of many of these and I’m one class away from my second master’s degree. I’m going to go flog myself with a dictionary now…
posted by Brandy on 5-23-2009 at 3:14 pm
I haven’t used the “I mean..”, but I have heard it used. In NZ, many (all?) Kiwis speak with the inflection/rise of voice at the end of most sentences. I haven’t managed to take on the accent, but I’ve incorporated the inflection after my 2nd or 3rd month here!
I agree with a poster above that the misuse of “myself” is incredibly annoying. It seems many people use it to sound intelligent, but it comes out quite the opposite.
As for oral vs. written, I emphatically disagree that only written communication should be treated with care. Why? How about job interviews? Do you really want to be using “I mean”, “like”, “you know” etc while trying to get someone to hire you?
posted by Dawn on 5-24-2009 at 3:45 am
I think it started with athletes being interviewed and is most annoying when they haven’t said anything yet. When asked a question about anything the first thing they say is “I mean….”. How can you mean something when you haven’t said anything yet? And now I notice journalists and TV “experts” doing the same thing.
Stop it!
posted by Mike on 5-30-2009 at 12:58 pm
I thought I was the only one that noticed “I mean”. I feel vindicated. It is literally driving me insane. Its an epidemic. I have been making an all out effort to eliminate it from my own vocabulary. Its like a virus, its so easy to pick it up from others.
posted by Teddy C on 2-5-2010 at 10:11 am