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1. I’ve said a lot of crazy things while sleeping. On Monday night, my wife decided to write some of them down. Here are two of the subjects she claims I was talking about:
“We can all sing ‘9 to 5.’ And then we can just hum that last part where it goes, ‘hmmmm.’”
“I was playing croquet last weekend. And Robby, that little bastard, he beat me!”
I was not playing croquet last weekend. I don’t know who Robby is. And I don’t think there’s a part of “9 to 5″ that goes “hmmmm.” Rather than waste any time analyzing my 3am babbling, why don’t you tell us about crazy things you’ve said or done while sleeping? If nobody’s ever taken notes for you, you can share something you’ve witnessed.
2. When I’m forced to socialize with strangers for an extended period of time (weddings come to mind, or other parties with assigned seating), I like to ask how people spent their summers during college. So even though nobody’s forcing us to sit and chat right now, I’ll ask anyway – how’d you spend your summers in college? And if we have any college students in the audience right now, let us know what you’ve got on tap this summer.
3. Are there any foods you intentionally ruin before eating? Maybe “ruin” isn’t the right word, but I enjoy really soggy cereal. I’ll pour myself a bowl of Raisin Bran, splash on some milk, and stick it in the fridge to age to perfection (estimated time: 10 minutes).
4. About two years ago, one of our writers pitched the idea of a story about bizarrely named stretches of interstate. We could never come up with very many, but I’m not giving up. Are there any in your part of the world?
[See all previous Friday Happy Hour transcripts.]
Comments (80)
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Just this week I decided to call it a night before dinner. When my husband made dinner, he asked if I wanted any and I responded “yes”. When he brought me a salad, he had to fight with me for ten minutes to get me to wake up and sit up. I remember being pissed off (I really like my sleep). I stabbed the largest piece of lettuce (with my eyes closed), ate it like I was a cannibal and it was a piece of meat, and snapped “I’ve eaten. Now you can let me go back to sleep.”
The day of the election when Kerry was a presidential candidate, I took a nap. When my husband came to wake me up because we needed to get out and vote, I asked “Are we voting for Kerry because he supports aliens or because he is an alien.”
I’ve also had logical and rational arguments with my husband and won.
posted by Kate on 5-22-2009 at 8:22 am
I’ve been talking in my sleep for a long time now. When I was young I was told to go back to bed and told my mom that I couldn’t because I hadn’t turned back into a human yet. I’ve also cursed out my husband and tried to steal some of my sisters possesions and told her they were mine. Good times.
posted by Tricia on 5-22-2009 at 8:36 am
I spent my college summers working at a tourist trap. It was an old west town with gunfights, train rides, and country music concerts on the weekends. My job was to drive to every town within 60 miles or so and staple posters for the concerts up on phone poles. That was illegal, but it was my job. I was caught a couple of times and had to take the posters down, but free concert tickets got me out of paying any fines. I’m sure the statute of limitations has expired by now.
posted by Miss Cellania on 5-22-2009 at 8:38 am
One night, sleeping in the same bed as my then-boyfriend, he had to wake me up, as I was biting his nose and wouldn’t let go.
posted by Emily D. on 5-22-2009 at 8:47 am
1. I was once sleepwalking in my parents’ house, when my found me rummaging through a closet and asked me what I was doing I shouted: “I’m trying to turn down the thermostat on the chocolate!” loudly enough to wake myself up. At which point I said “Never mind” and went back to bed.
2. Summer Vacations in college were pretty consistently spend working at video stores, hanging out in diners until ungodly hours and the occasional deranged road trip that ensued when diner talk got out of hand.
3. My favorite diner breakfast is 2 eggs over medium with corned beef hash (crispy) and homefries (also crispy) with grilled onions and a side of rye toast. I pretty consistly will mash the first three elements together to spread on the rye toast.
4. There is a perpetually under construction section route 80 out in Western PA that my friends and I call Satan’s Armpit, but I don’t think the moniker ahs really caught on.
posted by EMStoveken on 5-22-2009 at 8:49 am
I-65 through Montgomery, Alabama is the “Hank Williams Lost Highway,” which is written (badly) on a staff of music on the standard green interstate sign.
posted by Danny on 5-22-2009 at 8:50 am
In college I had worked for a pizza house, animal hospital, and in HR for a small medical company.
I also do the same for cereal, but I don’t like it too soggy. I think fresh cereal is too crunchy, mostly because I had to eat cereal without milk for a while during the hurricanes in 2004 here in Florida. When I cook eggs, I do not like the taste of runny yolks, so I cook them a bit longer (over hard instead of over easy?). I think that if you use ketchup or overcook meat (ie anything over medium) you are ruining perfectly good food.
posted by Erik on 5-22-2009 at 8:55 am
1. In high school I was studying non stop for a spanish test that I wanted to do really good on. The night before the test I woke my mother and my sister up by yelling spanish phrases and sentences in my sleep. I aced the test.
2. Three summers in college I got a job working in the consulate at the embassy in Rome doing visa work. It was just meaningless data entry but I did get to see the changes in the system pre and post 9/11 and the desire of people to come into the USA. Other grad school summers were spent programming a robot to drive itself around an obstacle course.
posted by Brett on 5-22-2009 at 9:16 am
4. All the Highways in Houston are named pretty Logically.
- 45 North is ‘The North Freeway’
- 45 South goes South East and ends at the Gulf of Mexico and is ‘The Gulf Freeway’
- 10 West which goes to Katy is ‘The Katy Freeway’
- 10 East goes to Baytown and is ‘The Baytown East Freeway’
- 288 South goes due South to Alvin and is ‘The Nolan Ryan Expressway’
posted by Witty Nickname on 5-22-2009 at 9:20 am
My wife once asked “Where is my dinosaur?” then added “I left it right here” as she pointed to the night stand completely asleep.
posted by Hootie on 5-22-2009 at 9:21 am
4. Not really a highway, but…
In my area there are 4 Gulph Roads (Old Gulph Road, New Gulph Road, South Gulph Road, North Gulph Road). South Gulph and North Gulph are just two ends of the same road, but New Gulph intersects South Gulph. Also, South Gulph (I think) eventually turns into Montgomery Ave.
Causes no end of confusion, especially when someone gives directions as “Oh, just take Gulph Road…”
posted by Kristin on 5-22-2009 at 9:26 am
#1, I used to sleepwalk as a child. Would wake up in various parts of the house, but the best was when I woke up with my head in the toilet (luckily above the water line). I wasn’t sick or drunk, was only about 11 years old!
#3, If I toast a bagel to put cream cheese on it, I have to let the bagel come to room temperature first before I add the cream cheese. I don’t like when it gets melty. This only applies to storebought bagels. NY deli bagels are never toasted, regardless of cream cheese or butter application.
posted by Jill on 5-22-2009 at 9:40 am
I moved out of my father’s house when I was 17 to live with some older friends of the family. That year we invited my father to Thanksgiving dinner, and at the last minute he canceled in an angry huff becuase we asked him to pick up some mint jelly for the lamb on his way over (can we see maybe why I moved out?). I was very upset about it.
Later that week, I fell asleep in the recliner in the living room, as I tended to do. My room mate Kendra then watched as I sat bolt straight, looked her in the eye and said “My father will be dead by the end of the year” and then promptly fell back asleep.
That was 5 years ago and sadly he is still alive.
posted by Squirrelgirl on 5-22-2009 at 9:47 am
I’ve been informed that I talk in my sleep quite a bit. The first instance being at age four, when my family heard me yell “Give me all your money. This is a stick up!” When they checked on me, I was sound asleep…although clearly having quite an adventure in my head.
My first college roommate takes the cake on creepy sleep talking, tho. She used to sit bolt upright in bed two or three times a week and start quoting Disney movies.
posted by Abby on 5-22-2009 at 9:49 am
4. In the southern half of Illinois, I-55 from Springfield to St. Louis, is the Paul Simon Freeway, named for the former U.S. Senator. This wouldn’t be unusual, except that on the standard-issue green interstate signs, there is a bowtie like the ones he was fond of. (Google Image search “paul simon freeway” and look at the first photo.)
posted by Anna on 5-22-2009 at 9:50 am
Nobody has been around to witness my midnight babbling in a while (but that’s changing :D ). Back when it has been witnessed, though, I remember dreaming that I was asked to make the salads at a dinner party and my boyfriend took over, so as I woke out of the dream I thanked him, and then said nevermind. I also told him once that “I loved him, even if he did use disposable cameras” (my dream equated disposable cameras with disposable memories), and I woke up chomping down on his shoulderblade one night. Might be a little dangerous to bed down with me…..
posted by luckyluckygirl on 5-22-2009 at 9:54 am
1. I didn’t say this, but I was there when my older brother did. I caught him sleepwalking when I was 6, he was 14. When I came downstairs he had opened the refigerator and peed in front of it on the floor. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he asked me ‘Do you have the Melons?’ I said ‘What?’ He said ‘The round kinds… have em?’ and then I quietly turned around and walked away to let my mom deal with it.
3. Doritos. When I was still living in Oregon I used to buy a big bag of Cooler Ranch Doritos and crunch them all up in the bag. Then I’d mix in another crunched up bag of the Green Guacamole kind, and then eat ‘em by the spoonful while I was playing StarCraft or Lineage. Less chewing, equally distributed flavor, and no icky fingers on the keyboard. I thought it was genius.
posted by Kate on 5-22-2009 at 10:25 am
Three sleep stories:
1) My son used to sleepwalk; late one night I was in the kitchen, on the phone with a friend, and the little guy came into the kitchen, looked around, and whizzed in the trash bin. When I asked where he thought he was, he looked at me as if I were an alien, and replied that he was, of course, in the bathroom. He still denies he ever did this.
2) A co-worker’s husband worked for a landscaping company, and would act out in his sleep. My co-worker was awakened being pelted with pillows (and whatever else he could lay hands on) – her husband was dreaming that he was at work, tossing rolls of sod.
3) When I was little-bitty, we had no furnace in our house, but instead we had a space heater. I would often get cold at night, so I would take my little blanket and cover up with it, sitting on the floor directly in front of the heater. Long story short, we had gone to visit relatives in another state. My mother woke up in the middle of the night, and I wasn’t there. She went searching and found me sitting on the kitchen floor, in front of a dinette chair, shivering (I didn’t have my little blanket along). I’d gotten up to go potty, and apparently thought that I was at home.
posted by Mama9cats on 5-22-2009 at 10:32 am
2. I worked in a fiberglass factory for two summers in college.
3. When eating a ho-ho, I eat all the outside chocolate off, bite off the ends, then unroll it and eat the rest.
@Squirrelgirl – are you really sad that your father is still alive? Sorry to sound judgmental, but that sounds harsh…
posted by Diana on 5-22-2009 at 10:35 am
1. I do not sleepwalk/talk myself, but when we were much younger, my dad caught my brother playing Nerf basketball in his sleep.
2. Best college summer job ever – Disney College Program, summer of ‘96.
posted by Alyson on 5-22-2009 at 10:53 am
In Louisiana there is a stretch of interstate called the West Republic of Florida Highway. I think it either I-10 or I-12. I have driven it several times, but not lately.
posted by rachel on 5-22-2009 at 11:14 am
I once walked past my brother’s room and heard him mumbling something. When i asked him to repeat himself, he said “Funny bunny, no money!”
I haven’t said too many funny things, but i once woke up sucking on an elbow, lol
recaptcha: inbreds circumstances
posted by mor on 5-22-2009 at 11:17 am
My mom tells a story of waking up because my dad was on all fours, ramming his head into their headboard. Naturally, he woke himself up in the process, and explained to my mother that in his dream he had been attempting to head soccer balls into a net.
posted by Andrea on 5-22-2009 at 11:48 am
When I worked an early-morning shift years ago, I would nap on the couch in the afternoon when I got home. When my young daughters arrived home from school they’d wake me — often in the middle of a dream I was having.
I once told them, “You can have my chicken, I’m going to jail.” Another time I waved them off by saying, “Not now, I have to rescue the princess.”
posted by bob shegitz on 5-22-2009 at 11:49 am
I have a couple of sleep stories. When I was younger I fell asleep on the couch while my brother and I were watching TV. My mom walked out of the front door and it slammed shut. I sat upright and yelled Buffalo! at the top of my lungs. I came to when my brother started laughing hysterically at me.
Also, I used to doze off on the phone when I was talking to my middle school friends. I would continue talking but it became increasing more irrational. The most memorable time I started yelling at a friend when she told me she had just finsihed doing the dishes. (I think this was a reaction to the fact that she was the only one in the house who did housework- parents were both alcohalics-she was also her baby brtoher’s primary care giver most of the time. She was 13).
I guess that last one wasn’t so funny…
posted by Brit on 5-22-2009 at 11:50 am
I can’t think of any weird highway names but here in Austin, every highway has at least two names. Mopac is Loop 1, Loop 360 is Capital of Texas Hwy, Hwy 183 is Research Blvd, Hwy 290 is Ben White.
I talk, more like mumble, in my sleep but the story that I have is about an ex-boyfriend. I woke up in the middle of the night to noise in our room. He was standing in front of a space between a bookcase and the Tv. I aksed what he was doing thinking he was about to piss all over the place. He yelled at me “Nothing! I’m not doing anything!”. He then walked out of the room and down the hall. I thought for sure he was headed to the bathroom. I laid back down and a few seconds later I hear a symbol. I get up and walk into our spare bedroom to find him sitting at his drum set with sticks in hand.
posted by texasgirl on 5-22-2009 at 11:52 am
Easter Peeps and marshmallows must age to perfection before eating. Take off the wrapper, let sit for a week or two. Yum!
posted by Ellen on 5-22-2009 at 12:07 pm
EM Stoveken – yours made me lose it!!
#1 – I had my wisdom teeth out when I was 18, the summer before college. For a few days, my mom would wake me up at 6AM to make me take antibiotics before falling back to sleep. One morning she asked me what my friends and I did the night before. I told her we went Trick or Treating. It was July.
My husband laughs hysterically in his sleep quite often and he never remembers why. I wish I were having his dreams!
#2 – Summers were pretty standard, but one winter break I literally had nothing to do and nowhere to go for 3 weeks. It was not enough time to find a job and too much time to veg, so I asked my parents if I could redo my bedroom and paint murals in it. To my complete shock, they agreed. 13 years later, the murals are still there.
posted by CMB on 5-22-2009 at 12:16 pm
1) The only verifiable time I have ever spoken in my sleep was in 1976 when I spoke those now famous words..”the photon won”. I was studying nuclear physics and reactor controls for the Navy at the time and there was a test on Monday…..I passed.
2)During the summers between college I worked in a chemical plant, making flavors and fragrances. In 1972 and 73, making 3.20/hr. Minimum wage then was 1.55 an hour I think.
reCaptcha: points spitzer
posted by Owen on 5-22-2009 at 12:24 pm
We have a highway in Berks county, PA that is known as “The Road to Nowhere” because it used to go nowhere. It went from a major highway to a two lane road through a residental area. Now it goes somewhere; another stretch of highway has been attached to it.
I have always talked i my sleep. I usually see things that arent there. I have woken up my boyfriend screaming about spiders coming from the ceiling. We were even on vacation with my parents when i was dreaming spiders were coming out of the ceiling. I started saying “oh God, oh God” in a breathy voice. He woke me up really fast for fear my parents would hear and wonder what was going on!!
posted by Jaime on 5-22-2009 at 12:32 pm
1. My husband used to talk in his sleep. The funniest thing he said was ‘Yeah, that’s it. He should wrestle cows!’. I didn’t realize he was asleep and started laughing. He woke up and told me he was talking about the wrestler Goldberg. In his mind the guy was so big that cows were the only thing that would have a fighting chance against him.
posted by janis on 5-22-2009 at 12:50 pm
My cousin was asleep in her bed when my grandmother came in and noticed she had pushed her covers down. Thinking she might be cold, Grandma did the grandmotherly thing and pulled the covers back up. My cousin promply pushed them back down. Grandma pulled them back up. Cousin freed her arm, slapped Granny across the face and said “I’ll get you, you brat!!”
I’ve had a couple of interesting summer jobs while in college. I worked in a winery for a bit. I stood next to a hydraulic corking machine and put the foil caps on bottles as they went by, one every second for 8+ hours a day.
I also worked in the R&D lab of a medical equipment manufacturer. It was interesting because I took the place of another guy who had just quit and taken several proprietary designs with him to a competitor. They were in the process of installing a high tech security system to prevent future breaches, and they were constantly testing it. One day, I was in my bosses office with him and an outside vendor when all of a sudden, every alarm in the building went off. The fire alarm, security alarm, contamination alarm, all of ‘em. My boss and I were used to this and simply ignored them while the vendor, hearing things like “Contamination alert! Please exit the building for decontamination.”, steadily grew more nervous before finally asking us what he should do. Tom and I looked at him blankly, then realizing what he was concerned about, explained the situation.
posted by Anthony on 5-22-2009 at 12:56 pm
My husband once found me wandering around a hotel collecting the fire extinguishers from the hallway. He said that I was talking a mile a minute about putting out a fire. Guess I was really getting ready for something big.
posted by Jeneva on 5-22-2009 at 1:06 pm
1. My ex used to talk in his sleep all the time. The most memorable was when he fell asleep while we were watching a movie. He started to curse and tell me to “turn the effing noise off”. At first I thought he was awake but then I realized he was just talking in his sleep again.
I think his sleep talking was contagous because on several occasions while he was spending the night I would wake myself up because I was laughing hysterically.
3. I like letting my ice cream get mostly melted before I eat it. Nice and mushy.
posted by jplanet on 5-22-2009 at 1:30 pm
1) I do talk in my sleep, but what I say is generally gibberish. My husband, however, is notorious for saying weird things in his sleep and I have had several conversations with him that he cannot recall later on. My mother-in-law told me that when my husband was a teenager, he had been working at a fast food restaurant for about a week. His alarm went off one morning and evidently my husband dressed, hit the button on the alarm clock, yelled “fries are up!” and climbed back into bed.
3) I don’t know if this qualifies, but homemade chili is always better as leftovers than it is the day you make it. I guess that’s not ruined food, but it does get better with age.
I once worked with a guy who would shake his soda until it went flat before he would drink it. I always found that kind of disturbing.
posted by bzzyb on 5-22-2009 at 1:40 pm
I have been talking in my sleep for as long as i can remember. The most memorable thing I think I ever said…
While sleeping in college my roomate was up writing a paper only to be slightly perturbed when out of nowhere i excited said “Join a Cult? Cool!!!”
posted by Gregory on 5-22-2009 at 1:45 pm
I am currently experiencing a college summer. I work at a summer enrichment program for at-risk kids. Other than that, I do whatever it takes to keep my mind busy. College summers are frustrating because you just have to wait. They are also awesome because you have more autonomy than in high school but less responsibility than after you graduate. It’s interesting.
posted by Kieran on 5-22-2009 at 2:17 pm
My family, and mine as well, favorite story to tell about my husband happened while he was sleeping. We were at my parents house for the weekend for a family wedding and had gotten home late and a bit tipsy and headed to bed. Later in the night I hear some rustling around then my mother (who could be bea arthur’s twin) telling my husband he was in the wrong room. He had walked in there in his sleep re-arranged some items on her dresser then sat on the edge of her bed – that was when she re-directed him back to our room. I admit the story does not seem to be so funny but then picture that all happening knowing my husband sleeps naked. Yeah poor guy can’t hardly live this one down!
posted by Jennifer on 5-22-2009 at 2:35 pm
1. Once I woke up in the middle of the night with the need to use the little boys room – unfortunately for me, I was still completely asleep and mistook a closet for an adjacent bathroon. My wife yelled “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?” – at which point I am told that I responded, “what does it look like I am doing?” I got back in bed and didn’t remember a single moment of the incident. My wife kindly informed me the next morning, immediately following her request for me to rent a carpet cleaner.
2. I was a club DJ in college, so I would travel the country playing at clubs and “underground parties” – pretty fun actually.
3. I make everything possible into a sandwhich, and has often led to me being accused of ruining every meal by attempting to put the ingredients between two pieces of bread – usually with ketchup.
4. Not totally odd…but in Dallas all major highways/interstates have names & numbers; for example the I-635 loop is known as the LBJ Freeway (after the president who hailed from Texas). One freeway is numbered I-75 with the corresponding name of the ‘Central Expressway’ – odd because it is on the very far eastern half of the city, and if you trace the hisoty of Dallas growth and sprawl, never, in the history of this land, was that freeway “central” to anything~!
posted by GITSUM on 5-22-2009 at 2:42 pm
1. My college roommate talked in her sleep all the time. We would routinely have conversations with her sound asleep. The best was I went into our room to go to bed and she suddenly goes “Boo! Did I scare you?” I said no, I knew you were in bed already. Then I asked if she were awake or asleep. She said awake and laughed very oddly. The next day, she had no recollection of our conversation (which was the norm)!
2. I was the general manager at the same pizza shop (worked there for 12 years total) at the Jersey shore. I have literally done every job there but work the fryer & grill. Started as a buser in high school, then moved to take out girl, waitress, expeditor, delivery girl, and I even worked the pasta station, made the desserts and assisted the pizza maker.
3. I prefer to drink soda and water at room temperature. It can hurt my teeth if its too cold. Also, if there is something I have to eat and I don’t like it – out comes the ketchup! I will put ketchup on literally anything to cover a taste I don’t like.
4. Can’t think of any official weird names, but we have the Sychkill Expressway in Philly and some people call it the Surekill Expressway! Also, the Ben Franklin Bridge is sometimes refered to as the Benny.
posted by Mavis on 5-22-2009 at 2:43 pm
I talk in my sleep all the time. “Give me the oreos” and “why did you take all my purple crayons?” are some of my favorites that my sister said I told her. My husband says that I get mad in my sleep and start yelling at him!
I’m in college right now. At work – since it’s summer. And I’m reading mentalfloss blogs ;)
@rachel – I live in Louisiana, and know what you are talking about with the West Florida highway. We even call those parishes (counties – for all y’all!) the West Florida Parishes. I always thought this was weird until I took a Louisiana History class and it was finally explained to me that that part of the state used to be known as West Florida and NOT Louisiana.
posted by Sarah on 5-22-2009 at 2:48 pm
I was notorious for walking and talking in my sleep when I was yonger. I have never lived this story down. The funniest thing that ever happened I was in early highschool (before I could drive) I apparently dreamed I overslept because I jumped out of bed, went into my mother’s room screamed at her “we all overlsept I missed the bus you have to get up” and then promptly went and being a nice sister pounded on my brother’s door to wake him up.
I then jumpped in the shower. By the time I was done my mother and brother had woken up enough to be coherent and realized it was the middle of the night. According to them it took them another 15 minutes to convince me I hadn’t overslept and I needed to go back to bed.
posted by Sabrina on 5-22-2009 at 3:01 pm
1. Oh, tons of silly sleeptalking stories.
– Once, I was very irritably telling my husband that we needed to vacuum the wallpaper. He didn’t understand, and I was getting increasingly irate until I finally woke up. I was dreaming that there were enormous globs of dust on the walls.
– Once I woke him up when I climbed over him in bed, grabbing at invisible things in the air. I was trying to catch bubbles. I felt very silly when I woke.
– When I was a kid, I occasionally sleep-walked. On one occasion, I woke up in the shower, with ice-cold water pouring on me, still fully dressed in my PJs.
– During high school marching band “intensive week”, one morning I woke up thinking I’d heard the “attention” whistle and was frantically looking for the painted dot that I was supposed to stand on for our formation. The crazy thing is that I was looking for it in my pajama drawer.
2. I spent every college summer the same way — working at a disreputable finance company, first in data entry, later as a credit investigator, and lastly in customer service. It was a good growth experience for me, but I don’t really miss it.
3. I eat most food in the intended way, but I second the “stale peep” thing. They’re way better stale. ;-) Hubby feels that way about Starburst.
My favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the leftovers afterwards. Turkey hash, while looking like someone had a big turkey dinner and then came down with the stomach flu, is fabulously delicious.
4. A few interesting names from around Minnesota:
- Hwy 52, Lafayette Freeway/Bridge; I have no idea why there’s stuff here named after him
- Bong Bridge; named after somebody important, but the name is just hilarious; also the longest bridge in the state, meandering around the Duluth-Superior area
- Johnny Cake Ridge Road; not a freeway, but people not from the area always blink in puzzlement when they hear the name; there must be some kind of a story behind that one
- Gunflint Trail; this wonderfully evocative name belongs to Hwy 12 in Cook County; it’s a basic country highway, but instead of going through farms it goes into the wilderness, and is one of the most popular routes into the Boundary Waters Canoe Area
posted by Calli Arcale on 5-22-2009 at 3:02 pm
1) My girlfriend gets a big kick out of my sleep-talking, which I do quite frequently. The most memorable one was at a friend’s cabin, where we were in bed, just about to fall asleep and talking. Apparently I won the sleep race, because out of nowhere I came up with “Yeah, but it’s nothing like the washrooms at Wal-Mart!” which of course had nothing to do with the conversation (I actually refuse to even enter a Wal-mart).
2) For four summers in university I worked at a National Historic Site here in Canada. It’s an old fur trade post from the mid-1800’s, so we dressed up in costume and pretended to be the governor, blacksmith, etc. Of course, we were all relatively intelligent college students and many of us formed a very close bond after four summers of goofing off, drinking, and telling stories to the public. The fact that there were only 10 men to about 40 women every summer certainly didn’t hurt either!
3) Three words: microwaved ice cream.
posted by Bert on 5-22-2009 at 3:08 pm
My college roomie talked in her sleep every night. She was unaware of this habit until I informed her. We could have long conversations about nothing; usually, though, she scared me. I’d always be up late studying and be disturbed by her asking “What?” in a British accent, or laughing, or flirting with someone who wasn’t there.
posted by RJ on 5-22-2009 at 3:28 pm
#3 – I don’t know if I deliberately ruin any foods, except maybe grilled hot dogs that MUST be charred. I do have three oddities when it comes to food. I HATE ketchup. I fear and despise it to the point where I have had physical reactions to it. Crying, vomiting, muscle spasms. Even reading Mavis and Git Sum talking about it makes me nauseous. I must stop now before I actually hurl.
The second one is that whenever we order in Chinese, I can only eat it if the food is exceedingly, scalding hot. I will get up and microwave my food three or four times in the middle of eating. I can’t stand it if it’s even a little bit cold, but it is delicious when it’s really, really hot.
Third – mixed in with some of our silverware are a few three-pronged forks. I can’t eat with them, ever. If it’s the only clean fork left in the drawer, I will take a dirty fork from the dishwasher and wash it before I eat with the three-pronger.
posted by belly on 5-22-2009 at 3:38 pm
My college summer job is being a recpetionist for a computer company. So far my main duties include answering the phone when it rings about once every two hours and reading copious amounts of articles on mentalfloss.com.
My roommate talked in her sleep all the time, mostly about the couch and hating different people.
posted by kiera on 5-22-2009 at 3:39 pm
1) I used to sleepwalk when I was very young. When I was 7 years old my mom came in to wake me up and I was gone. They found me about 100 ft from the house in the back yard curled up under a tree.
2)College summers were always the same, working at a golf course in my hometown. Long days but it was a lot of fun.
3)When I order pizza, I put it in the fridge until it gets cold then re-heat it in the toaster oven. I have no idea why
4)There is a road in SW PA that we always called the auto-bon (we were 16, we couldn’t spell) It is actually rural route 2 but there is no posted speed limit and no road sign. Parts of it are dirt and gravel…it amazing we didnt kill ourselves trying to get the car to break 90 on those back roads.
3)
posted by Ben on 5-22-2009 at 3:57 pm
I hadn’t done much sleep talking until I was with my former boyfriend. We both seemed to do it a lot, but there were two memorable ones that came out of my mouth.
We were laying in bed and talking once, about to go to sleep. I finished one completely coherent and intended sentence, paused for a second, apparently had a mini-dream, and then said “Who cut your sandwich in half?”
Another time I had gone to bed and he had stayed up to read. I rolled over, climbed what seemed like a mountain of covers, only to glare at him with pure evil on my face and say “Yyyyyou’re a LIAR!” When he asked me what he’d lied about, I told him it was my turn. By the time I had actually got out of bed to go to the bathroom and somewhat recovered my senses, he had learned that I intended to drive the bed to Hogwart’s.
posted by Melissa on 5-22-2009 at 4:14 pm
1. I know I talk in my sleep but no one has ever paid attention to what I’ve said. Probably because they were sleeping too. It would be interesting to know if my husband and I have any “sleep” conversations as I’ve caught him mumbling.
3. My spouse will ruin a $40 steak at a fancy restaurant by asking for A1 (most of the time, they don’t have it). Why order an expensive cut (filet) and then put A1 on it!!! Now, my spouse thinks I ruin a perfectly good bowl of Kraft mac ‘n cheese by adding ketchup.
4. I’m from Northeast Ohio and I still don’t *really* know what highway is referred to as the Innerbelt. Although I do know the “Jennings Highway”. And I do know where the “valley” is in Akron!
posted by Jamie on 5-22-2009 at 4:15 pm
Well, I don’t have anything for the last few, but the oddest thing I did in my sleep was lock all the doors.
posted by Caitlin on 5-22-2009 at 4:56 pm
My childhood best friend’s little brother and mine both talked in their sleep. One night I was staying the night when we walked past his room. He sat bolt upright, grabbed the covers while shaking his fist and shouting “The Pope is going BLIND people!!!”
My brother, on the other hand, just creeped us out by chanting “The grass is green the grass is green the grass is green” like he was in a cult.
posted by Stacey on 5-22-2009 at 5:28 pm
3. I do the same thing with my raisin bran, except I let it get soggy at room temp.
A also like to cook ramen noodles, but drain them when soft, then stir in the flavor packet with a little peanut oil.
posted by PJ on 5-22-2009 at 5:32 pm
I LOVE to mix mashed potatoes, corn, meatloaf and a bit of ketchup together. I don’t consider it ruined at all. My brother-in-law puts ketchup on just about everything….
I don’t talk in my sleep but my sister did quite often. Once she jumped out of bed and ran to an open window and yelled “We’ve got to save the farm!”
re captcha: shushing special !! :)
posted by Pam on 5-22-2009 at 5:56 pm
Oh, sleepwalking and talking. I do that all the time. Just a couple of weeks ago, I woke up and took a shower at one in the morning, and then after I got out, realized what time it was. I’ve also apparently played the piano in my sleep too. And thrown pillows at my friends, saying my mom was going to be mad at us if we were still up.
Someone mentioned band camp – during band camp, I always have these weird dreams that I’m out on the field, trying to play and march and all, but I’m so tired and I just want to lay down on the field and sleep. The whole time I know I’m supposed to be in bed, asleep. It’s weird.
posted by Case on 5-22-2009 at 6:44 pm
1. The only talking in my sleep that I remember doing is when I was about 14, my dad was driving me home from school and I was dozing off while having a conversation. I dreamed about one of the boys in the grade below me, and apparantly I said “He’d look really good in a crushed green velvet dress with matching eyeliner. Then he’d have to sleep in the barn with the goats.”
My husband and his brother (whenever he stays over) have arguments (read: screaming matches) while fully asleep. They work together.
My husband has also sat bolt upright in be and yelled for our daughter to get back in bed. It was 3am.
3. I eat my ice cream with a fork. Always have, always will. It’s easier to eat like that, esp. when it’s still frozen.
posted by MamaBug on 5-22-2009 at 7:46 pm
1. I kept waking up with my alarm clock turned off – so I decided to set it on a dresser across the room. I would still wake up with the alarm clock turned off and setting on the endtable next to my bed – and with bruised on my legs.
posted by PartiallyDeflected on 5-22-2009 at 7:46 pm
I love slightly burnt popcorn. Delicious.
posted by Gipoun on 5-22-2009 at 7:50 pm
I once rolled over in my sleep and asked my friend, “Do you have any vice grips?” I can only hope I was trying to fix something in my dream and not engage in some kinky sex ritual.
I just finished my freshman year of college, and this summer I will be working my tush off before going to Melbourne, Australia for a month. All of my family lives there. I hope all of my college summers can be this exciting!
posted by Kristin on 5-22-2009 at 8:40 pm
When I was around 10, I slept RIGHT across the hall from my parents and both of us kept our doors open. One night, I woke up to my father asking “Where is the d*mn crank shaft?!” In his defense, he *was* restoring a classic Mustang at the time.
Another time, I woke up to him saying “Here kitty, kitty, kitty!” I’ve never even had a cat.
I love soggy cereal too. I used to like watered-down Sprite, but I’ve grown to dislike it now. Also, I am a vegetarian and explored other options for a while as far as baking with eggs. While I’m not a vegan [no meat, dairy, or eggs, basically], I’ll still use applesauce instead of eggs to bake with. Tastes the same only healthier. :D
posted by Myleti on 5-22-2009 at 10:14 pm
When I was younger I used to ’swim’ in my sleep and often woke up on the floor. Also when people try to wake me I am known to become very irate, and yell random things. Such as telling my boyfriend (a vegetarian) that I didn’t care if he wanted to eat eggs because i WAS NOT making him a bologna sandwich. I also have a tendency to answer the phone while asleep and carry on non sense conversations until whoever called figures out that I’m sleeping.
It started when I was pregnant with my first son but I still love cheese pizza with applesauce and hot sauce. Weird I know.
posted by Megan on 5-22-2009 at 11:10 pm
My husband and I are constantly waking each other up. A while back, I was reading in bed and my husband started laughing, telling me to “shhhh..” I asked him what was up and he slowly whispered, “I’m like a silverfish…..they’re faaaast…..”
When we aren’t having whole conversations in or sleep I wake us both up by standing on the bed or jumping out from beneath the covers. This happens pretty frequently and usually involves dreams of things coming up from the bottom of the bed between the sheets. Ugh.
posted by Khatlin on 5-22-2009 at 11:45 pm
my boyfriend is a big sleep talker. it is possible to have coherent conversations with him, and actually he will always tell the truth about anything. you just have to be prepared for him to suddenly say something like “we need to climb this tree so we can see Jacobs hut. wait why am i talking to you…you are an OTHER. EVERYONE RUN!!!”
oh yea and i always shake soda and let the fizz out little by little.
posted by dinenid on 5-23-2009 at 3:11 am
1. In my sleep, if I’m really tired and happy to be in bed I smile, and then I start to laugh histerically! It freaks my roommate out!
3. I ruin sweet potatoes. My mom cooks them whole and I take 3o minutes to just mush them into baby food and then add dangerous amounts of butter and brown sugar.
posted by Rachel* on 5-23-2009 at 3:13 am
1. One night I exclaimed, “Get the hippo!” My husband said that he asked me what I meant, and I yelled, “Get the hippo! Get the hippo! Get the hippo, dog man, what are you… deaf?!”
2. I worked in the inventory department of a fire hose factory. You might be impressed to know how many different types of fire hoses there are. Or not.
3. A favorite food combination is cottage cheese, a cut-up hot dog and a little side of ketchup. When I write it out, it looks pretty nasty.
posted by Amanda on 5-23-2009 at 9:18 am
I usually have some pretty weird dreams and sometimes I’ll be so scared because of some nightmare I’ll start screaming, but it isn’t loud or anything, its like my voice just doesn’t work. Most of the time my girlfriend catches me and wakes me up. Other times I’ll manage to snap myself out of it. That usually kills the urge to sleep for a couple of days.
Sometimes a shock in a dream will make me jerk awake. The last one felt like I tossed myself three or four feet in the air.
posted by Shadow on 5-23-2009 at 10:49 am
My college roommate had “night terrors” and used to wake me up screaming in her sleep. Like SCREAMING, screaming. It was terrifying to wake up to.
I have trouble with my alarm clock being mysteriously turned off/ moved too. It’s gotten to the point that if I really need to wake up for something, I enlist a friend or my mom to call me and not to quit calling me until I answer and can speak coherently.
posted by Stephanie on 5-23-2009 at 3:13 pm
3. The best way to eat Twizzlers is to leave the package open for about 24 hours – fresh they are just too chewy, but stale they have the perfect amount of toughness!
posted by C on 5-23-2009 at 3:55 pm
1. When we were very young my brother and I used to share a room. In the wee hours of the morning my mom would sometimes hear us talking and go in to yell at us to go to sleep only to find us both already asleep. She said once when she went in my brother was mumbling the same thing about “Saturday” over and over again. Since he was mumbling all I kept saying was “What?!” Apparently my brother’s responses got increasingly annoyed but no more coherent.
A few years ago I woke my boyfriend (and myself) out of a sounds sleep by letting out an ear-splitting scream. That in and of itself isn’t that weird, but when he went to console me I told him I hadn’t been having a nightmare. I dreamed I was at a concert and the MC was trying to warm up the crowd. He kept saying “I can’t hear you” so I kept screaming louder in my dream until I actually screamed out loud.
posted by Jen on 5-23-2009 at 6:34 pm
My current BF talks in his sleep all the time! At least twice a week he sits bolt upright and starts yelling about something. One time we had rented a car to go to the beach and it was infested with ants. That night he shook me awake yelling “There’s ants in the bed! There’s ants in the bed!” I told him that was nice and for him to go back to sleep. He laid back down and didn’t speak up again!
posted by RPB on 5-23-2009 at 11:14 pm
I couldn’t resist adding my two cents…
1. This could be a loose interpretation of the first question, but as a college student I have occasionally fallen asleep in class when extremely tired, and the things I say or write can be humorous at times. Once I woke up in my Greek Lit class and found I had written “750 BC (Homer) Looks like a beehive” in my notebook, followed by a lengthy and sarcastic dissertation titled “Elements To Make Your Dream Funeral!” Several points included “Get women to tear their hair and rip up their clothes” and “Build a nice big fire (pyre). Again, I do not remember writing these.
2. This summer I’ll be working at a children’s shelter (where I’ve been employed a year or so now) as well as taking about fifteen new piano students. Hey, it beats my old job before college at JCPenney’s. The only thing that could make that place exciting was shoplifters!
posted by Anna on 5-24-2009 at 2:04 am
I used to sleep walk all the time as a kid. In my tighty whities I would pack a few things; More underwear and I walk down the street. Usually to my Grandma’s to ask for a sandwich to go and then they would call my mom to come get me. I did that all the time but usually I was caught messing with the door trying to unlock it.
posted by Shawn on 5-24-2009 at 11:37 am
My dad is a notorious sleep talker. He once said, “Put the lobsters in the pot” and he woke up on the floor. “Put the brain in the bucket”, in the morning he claimed he was dreaming about a car crash. Once, when I shared a room with my sister when I was younger, she yelled out in the middle of the night, “SISSY, WHERE’D SHE GO? IS SHE HERE? SISSY!! WHERE IS SHE?”
posted by Maddie on 5-24-2009 at 2:05 pm
I have a terrible problem of doing all kinds of things in my sleep. Most recently I drove to Walmart around 4 a.m. (according to my receipt) and spent close to $600 on things I really didn’t need – curtains, kitchen utensils, cough drops, fishing tackle, etc. Taking it back the next morning and having to explain the situation was loads of fun!
posted by Skippy on 5-24-2009 at 3:15 pm
1. I used to talk in my sleep at college (well, at least I assume it’s past, my husband has never said anything!). My roommate used to tell me things the next morning, but the only one I remember is apparently I made kissing noises-not quite talking, but still kind of embarrassing!
2. The first two summers I worked at my old junior high or high school. The summer before junior year I was an “intern” on a low-budget local film (read: we did the jobs they couldn’t afford to pay professionals to do). I’ve worked on some awesome sets but that one was horrible. Nothing like passing out at midnight only to get up at 4am.
The summer before senior year though I did independent research with my favorite English prof on medieval lit. Lots of obscure and/or convoluted religious texts.
3. I scrape the cheese off pizza before eating it. My husband is stupefied by this, as not only is it “the best part of the pizza” but I love melted cheese on nachos and cheese in general. Just not on my pizza.
posted by Kate on 5-24-2009 at 9:44 pm
1: I don’t usually sleep talk/walk but my mom did tell me that once she woke up really late and I was standing outside their room…just loitering! She had to send me back to bed.
3: I love left over salad when it gets all soggy with dressing!! My mom always saves me hers when she goes out to lunch!! soo good!!
:o)
posted by Lindsey on 5-25-2009 at 11:42 pm
I talk so much in the moments just before deep sleep that my family has a name for it: Cottage Cheese. Yeah, weird name, but here’s how it happened:
I was in bed with my girlfriend during the early stages of our relationship. You know… the stage where you stay up all night, telling your life stories and gazing into each others’ eyes. Well, as deeply commited as I was to learning the names of all of her girlfriends before me, I started to drift off to sleep. I tried my best to stay alert, but, in the middle of a completely coherent sentence, I fell asleep. And this is how my ‘completely coherent’ sentence ended:
“… but then my rheumatoid uncle sent me for cottage cheese.”
You bet your buttercups that I woke up real fast when she laughed so hard that the waterbed started to jiggle. She explained my bizarre words– in between gasps for air– and I was mortified. Of course, every night after that, she tried to stay awake past me, to see what I’d say next. Here are some family favorites:
“You can’t put milk in a file!”
“The pots out back are getting vicious.”
“What don’t you understand about vegetables on the roof?”
Don’t get them started on the hysterical laughter that comes in the midst of deep sleep. We don’t have a name for that one yet.
posted by Rebekah James on 5-26-2009 at 11:18 am
My dad falls asleep on the couch and then talks. My brother’s favorite is when he said, “I’ll have three cheeseburgers to go. No sprinkles.”
I once had a dream that I was laying on my stomach on my bed reading a book. I had my knees bent and I kicked my foot down and broke my toe on the heavy wooden bookshelf by my bed. Yep, I broke my toe in my sleep.
posted by Anna on 5-31-2009 at 11:22 pm
I talk in my sleep- and have been known to say things such as “Thank you sister, you may go,” “No, don’t take my hula-hoop!” and “WAIT! I’VE GOT TO TIE THE LEMON TO THE PIGEON!”
I actually remember the last one. I was in some stage that was part awake, but dreaming.
posted by Rebecca on 7-28-2009 at 6:09 pm
im a kid and i think i need a psychiatrist(cant spell that).each night i set my alarm clock to around 7 and go to bed at around 11.well for the past 2 weeks i wake up to my mom calling me to get ready for school before im late at like 7:30.i just relised today that i have been the one turning it off. i was really late for school yesterday when my dad called me in the morning(which he does every morning) and i didnt answer but my alarm was turned off.today i did the normal alarm clock set and went to sleep at the same time but without relising i turned my alarm clock off and when my dad called me,(again without relising…)i pick up and he was havig a COHERENT, not incoherent, conversation with me and this morning i woke up(remember i went to sleep a 11pm)at 2:30pm in a completely different room. i fell asleep with my alarm clock by my head, my door locked, and my window closed. i still turned my alarm off and set the alarm to 2:30(im still sleeping when this is happening),i opened my window and unlocked my door to come to the liveing room and laid on the couch where i eventually woke up mad because i was about to get in trouble when my mom found out.if there is a psychiatrist reading this please comment and tell what to do.
posted by kanani on 1-26-2010 at 4:09 pm