Hollywood test audiences are always giving low ratings to movies with depressing endings, sending them back to the editing room for a little “cheering up.” But it’s not just the grainy independent films about forbidden romances and snooty aristocracies that get recalled. Some of Tinseltown’s biggest blockbusters got a heavy dose of Paxil.
1. Army of Darkness
Sam Raimi had free reign with the final chapter of the Evil Dead trilogy until Universal became the distributor and ordered him to include a more upbeat ending. After our hero Ash defeats the Deadite Army and rescues the lovely princess from a life of undead living and hair bigger than most southern states, the sorcerer allows him to return to his own time by drinking a magic sleeping potion. Unfortunately, Ash takes too much of it and wakes up either in a post-Apocalyptic world destroyed by global war or downtown Detroit.
via videosift.com
2. First Blood
A 6-disc special edition box-set released in 2008 of the original Rambo film featured an alternate ending that could have changed the entire course of Sylvester Stallone’s rise to fame, then fall from it, then rise and fall and rise again. The original cut ended with Col. Trautman tracking down a blubbering Rambo who begs for death so he won’t have to be arrested. The Colonel refuses, but Rambo thrusts the gun into his belly. The Colonel fires. Rambo dies in slow motion.
3. Clerks
The alternate ending to Kevin Smith’s breakthrough film turned a lighthearted vulgar comedy into a dark tragedy of Ingmar Bergman-ish proportions. Dante begins to close up shop when one final customer walks in, whips out a gun, and shoots him point blank in the chest. The man loots the cash register and leaves Dante to bleed to death on the store’s cold, unforgiving floor. Fans of the film have analyzed this new ending to its furthest end, speculating that it mirrors Dante’s view of life based on his love of The Empire Strikes Back because it has a better, downer ending. Randall unplugging the store’s security camera earlier in the film also implies that the killer will never be caught, furthering Dante’s belief that life is meaningless and “a
series of down endings.” Smith admitted that he killed off Dante in the original script because he didn’t know how to end a film.
4. Little Shop of Horrors (the 1986 musical remake)
This Frank Oz classic took a complete 180-degree turn from its counterpart on the cutting room floor. In fact, the film ends on a higher note than one of Mariah Carey’s hit singles. The theatrical release saw Seymour defeating the monster plant by electrocuting it and marrying his sweetheart Audrey. But in the alternate ending, Audrey dies and Seymour feeds her body to the hungry plant. Then when Seymour learns that little Audrey IIs are going global on the retail market, he realizes the plant’s plan for world domination and tries to stop him, only to become plant food as well.
The plants go on sale and slowly start to take over the world to the tune of a show-stopping musical number. The plants crash through buildings, tromp down the streets of New York, and even climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty with their vines slithering over her crown and down her face. Then the plant busts through the screen in a fit of maniacal laughter, mimicking the end of the original off-Broadway show, where the plant would extend its vines into the aisles and drop from the ceiling while the head hovered over the first few rows and lunge at members of the audience as if it were hunting for food. Some of its plants even featured the dead cast members’ faces as an homage to the Roger Corman film on which it was based.
The alternate ending was included as an extra on a special edition DVD release in 1998, but Warner Bros. issued a recall of all the discs when producer David Geffen objected to its release. Geffen told Entertainment Weekly that the black and white version of the footage “looked like s#*$.” It became the first DVD to be recalled due to content.
5. Fatal Attraction
These days, news of alternate endings to big mainstream movies are treated with the same fervor and excitement as the release of a new Uwe Boll movie. But back in the 80s and 90s, they actually became
news. The ending to 1987′s Oscar nominated Fatal Attraction had audiences screaming in their seats, as evidenced by tape recordings that director Adrian Lyne made of real audiences watching the film after its initial release. But the original script called for something less shocking. Alex Forest, played by Glenn Close, kills herself instead of trying to kill Dan Gallagher, played by Michael Douglas (and not based on my life although Alex does come close to a girl I once dated who liked knives), and sets it up to make it look as though Dan had killed her. The ending got horrible reviews from test audiences and the principal cast was reunited to film the new scarier scene. Japan was the only country that saw the original ending in
public release before a special edition released in 1992 included the old ending.
6. Pineapple Express
Seth Rogen’s stoner shoot-em-up ended on a “high” note (yes, I get paid to write jokes for a living) with the principal characters in an all-night diner appreciating being alive after their long ordeal. This supposed alternate ending leaked by Empire Magazine shortly before the film’s DVD release sparks a wave of debate on the Internet over whether the footage was meant to be the film’s actual ending or just a jokey DVD Easter egg.
Danny Gallagher is a freelance writer, humorist, reporter and movie spoiler living in Texas. He can be found on the web at dannygallagher.net and on Twitter at twitter.com/thisisdannyg.
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The alternate ending to Boiler Room is so amazing and such a downer, it would have made the whole movie better. Instead of helping the man from whom he wasted his entire life savings but never met, Giovanni Ribisi walks past him on the way out of the sting, just as that guy is going in with a gun fully bent on taking out the office. We are to believe he would have been caught immediately by the FBI.
posted by Jordan on 5-27-2009 at 3:33 pm
The alternate ending to The Butterfly Effect when he strangles himself in the womb was pretty much a downer…
posted by Jack P. on 5-27-2009 at 3:52 pm
I’m glad they trashed the ‘Dante gets shot’ original ending to Clerks. First, because Clerks 2 would have been darn near impossible. Second, Randal wrangling out of the store saying “You’re Closed” rocks the house and puts an exclamation point on one of the best indie films ever. The dialogue in this film is easily in my top 5 (along with When Harry met Sally and anything from QT, Woody Allen, or Charlie Kaufman). KS, Woody, QT, and CK are GODS – IMHO.
posted by Ian on 5-27-2009 at 3:59 pm
Don’t forget Dodgeball… it wouldn’t have been a comedy if the original ending had run.
posted by Cheryl on 5-27-2009 at 4:11 pm
I think the biggest case of this is Brazil. Terry Gilliam shot what he wanted, the studio recut the entire film to make what is called the “Love Conquers All” version, Terry Gilliam put a stop to it then took out full page ads asking the studio to release his film (if I remember the history behind it correctly). What developed is not only an alternate ending, but really two entirely different films cut from some of the same footage.
Also, great job with Clerks. After Brazil, that’s the next movie I thought of when I saw the title of the article.
posted by Amauriel on 5-27-2009 at 4:35 pm
According to an interview with the director I saw over at HitFix.com, the original ending of Terminator Salvation had John Connor dying. They decide to put his skin on the Marcus terminator, and he gets up and shoots everybody in the room — Skynet Victorious!
posted by Tappet on 5-27-2009 at 4:39 pm
I was always a little angry that the Little Shop of Horrors movie ended differently than the play. It is interesting to see how they would have done this ending, I like it better.
posted by Jordan on 5-27-2009 at 5:57 pm
The original UK ending of The Descent is far more depressing than the ending that was used for the US.
She’d been hallucinating and hadn’t escaped the caves after all…
posted by Nick on 5-27-2009 at 7:28 pm
The end of “The Natural†the baseball themed movie starring Robert Redford is completely different form the book it was based on, written by Bernard Malamud. In the book Roy Hobbs “strikes out†in the end, in the movie he hits a “home runâ€. The studio wanted an upbeat ending.
posted by Ed on 5-28-2009 at 12:50 am
How about Stephen Kings “Apt Pupil”?
Instead of getting a gun and going on a shooting spree till he’s taken down (like the book). The movie ended with him threatining his teacher.
posted by Gus on 5-28-2009 at 7:16 am
It’s pretty obvious that the Pineapple Express clip is clearly an Easter Egg. It’s blatantly obvious
posted by Nick on 5-28-2009 at 9:37 am
The original ending of Hitchcock’s Suspicion shows that Joan Fontaine’s character has been right all along – Cary Grant really is a murderer. But apparently test audiences didn’t like seeing Cary as a killer, so the release had an ending that doesn’t match up to the rest of the film.
posted by vegebrarian on 5-28-2009 at 10:45 am
Pineapple Express looks like a joke – they hold hands at the end..come on that’s not really depressing.
posted by Movie Spy on 5-28-2009 at 1:01 pm
Yes, the ending of “Little Shop of Horrors” was remade as an upper, with a whirl into cartoonish suburbia for Seymour and his girl….but take a good look at the greenery in front of their sitcom-perfect abode. A little Audrey 2 plant pops its head out. A “happy ending” indeed…for NOW…
posted by VM on 5-28-2009 at 1:37 pm
@ nick.
What’s the US ending of “The Descent” like? (I assume she actually escapes the cave) I didn’t know there were 2 versions? Apparently I’ve only seen the UK version.
posted by Diego on 5-28-2009 at 1:57 pm
I always thought the “alternate ending” to Dodgeball was itself a joke.
As for The Descent, I’ve never seen it, but the two endings almost seem like six of one, half a dozen of the other, except one actually allows more for a sequel.
posted by Random on 5-28-2009 at 3:31 pm
whoa, whoa, whoa!!
“Clerks” has an alternate ending? the only ending i know about is the Dante gets shot ending. i thought that i knew what was going on. apparently, i do not.
*sigh* why is the world against me?
posted by the creature on 5-28-2009 at 4:36 pm
Actually, in the book First Blood, by David Morrell, which the movie Rambo is based upon, Col. Troutman does kill Rambo, taking him out with a shotgun. It is interesting too that, in the book, Rambo kills the police officers in the woods instead of just wounding them. The book has a much higher body count than the movie.
posted by Dave on 5-28-2009 at 4:44 pm
Army of Darkness is one of my favorite movies of all time and the theatrical ending is awesome…”hail to the king baby”
I remember buying the director’s cut with the “original” “depressing” ending and when i finally got to it, i though it completely sucked. It just wakes up with him in post apocolyptic times and he yells “I slept too long”…but that just goes along with the whole directors cut of the movie…The theatrical version is WAY better…There’s a reason why that made the theatrical cut, and the director’s cut wasnt released until years later.
Plus, the director’s cut took out my favorite line of the movie…when Ash and Evil Ash are fighting (EA is singing “Mr. Goodie Two Shoes”) and Ash shoots EA in the face and says “Good, Bad…I’m the guy with the gun” (Genius writing)
but in the Director’s cut, after he shoots him, he just says “I’m not that good” and it just doesnt have the same effect and it just wasnt as good (although Bruce Campbell can pretty much say anything and it’ll sound cool)
As for the Descent…the only ending i’ve seen is where she is haloucinating that she is out of the cave and i’m in the US (but i didnt see it in theaters…only DVD)
posted by andy on 5-28-2009 at 5:41 pm
even tho it was never filmed, I still would have like to have seen the final ending of “Heathers” where Christian Slater’s character J.D. actually blows himself up and the entire school. The DVD provides the script, but alas, no footage.
posted by Marty on 5-28-2009 at 8:10 pm
You forgot Star Trek Generations. Kirk was supposed to die by way of Soran’s gunshot, but it was trashed.
He went by the bridge instead.
posted by Jen Pen on 5-29-2009 at 12:51 am
I always read that the alt ending to Clerks was because of the influence of the Spike Lee movie “Do the Right Thing”.
posted by Rex on 5-31-2009 at 3:05 pm
The Land Before Time originally had plans of ending with the death of all the little baby dinosaurs, the afterlife being the Great Valley. I suppose I’m not surprised that they changed their minds, but at least with the original we wouldn’t have 13 sequels. I don’t know, but I doubt they even animated the first ending.
posted by Sarah on 6-4-2009 at 12:49 am
Maybe, and i may be reaching films would be better today if they were more organic. I’m sure this kind of practice wasn’t happening during the early development of film.
posted by Jordan on 6-9-2009 at 1:25 pm
American Beauty. The daughter gets arrested for the father’s murder. Freaking depressing. (You can see hints of this direction when the videotape is made suggesting the boyfriend should kill the father, then cut off – apparently it would have been presented as “evidence” in the trial.)
posted by anaximander on 6-9-2009 at 2:39 pm
I believe the original ending for the teen flick “Lucas” had the Lucas character die from his injuries in the football game. The test audience thought it was way too depressing, and they replaced it with the upbeat ending.
posted by Linda on 7-10-2009 at 1:13 pm
I find it great when they don’t hollywoodize everything. They should have used some of these endings.
posted by Jordan on 11-13-2009 at 12:02 pm