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The mid-term elections are almost upon us, and much as we hate campaign ads around here, we thought we ought to express our own support for democracy — so for this week’s contest, we’re electing a People’s Tribune. That’s right, no goodies this week, but if you win you’ll have the opportunity to be corrupted by POWER! Our People’s Tribune will represent the readers; he’ll tell us what he’d like to see more of on the site; he’ll be the Marc Antony to our Roman Senate. So start campaigning in the comments section of this post, folks! We encourage outrageous slogans, unfulfillable promises, ambitious goals (lay out your free health-care plan for all mental_floss readers and you’re a lock). We don’t encourage:
1. Partisanship. This ain’t that kind of website.
2. Slander of other candidates. The Vernon Robinson approach will win you no friends.
3. Bribery. However, feel free to buy lots of stuff from our store.
For the primaries (this week), we’ll pick three candidates. The final vote begins on Monday!
I am working on my Ph.D. in psychology at the University of Georgia. I think I’m losing my mind. I have 23 consecutive years of education. I would really like to win something. Please select me as the Tribune. I know more useless information than anyone on the face of the planet.
posted by Mike Landau on 10-31-2006 at 10:02 pm
As a long time reader of Mental_Floss, I know I would make a fantastic “People’s Tribune.”
I know I can represent readers by personnally revealing the solutions to P ≠ NP, the location of Hoffa’s body, and why people are stilling flying to Vegas and dropping $100 on a Celine Dion ticket.
I will establish a meritocracy through-out the land, at least until I can figure out how to get campaign contributions…..
As JFK once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country” and while you are asking your country a question, please promote me, Tucker Steel, for PEOPLE’S TRIBUNE
posted by Tucker Steele on 11-1-2006 at 12:02 pm
Why should I be your candidate? Since “’cause I said so.” only works with my sister’s kids and a wussy ex-boyfriend, here’s why!
1. Some might categorize me as a lurker. I say that I’m just so sneaky, you don’t notice me participating. My ninja-like commenting skills go unnoticed by the untrained eye. And who doesn’t love ninja skills?
“Vote Lyssa, she’s stealthy!”
2. I’m diverse! I love art, literature and science, but I am also known for sending friends gross facts and icky bug pictures to ruin their lunch.
“Lyssa. Representing Shakespeare AND things you want to poke with sticks.”
3. I’m full of great ideas! You want free healthcare? I propose Cooperative Preventative Healthcare Plan 2006!
Every time you see a co-worker doing something that might potentially damage their health, you point a rolled up newspaper at them and go, “NO. No. BAD.” (But you don’t smack them with it. Cause that’s mean. And you could cause a bruise or pull a muscle, defeating the purpose of Cooperative Preventative Healthcare Plan 2006.)
Cube mate has a fever, but won’t go home?
“NO.”
Buddy reaches for one too many Bawls and not water?
“No.”
Boss stands on a rolling chair to get something off the top shelf?
“BAD.”
**I can help with the actual needing treatment thing too, but not until next term. We build this bridge one plank at a time, people. One plank at a time.)
See? Great ideas, diversity and ninja skills. You can’t beat that with a nun holding a yardstick.
“Lyssa! Helping people since at least 10 o’clock this morning….”
posted by Lyssa on 11-1-2006 at 12:14 pm
I’d like to borrow a few words from Kurt Vonnegut. . .
“There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.”
I realize that being THE PEOPLE’S TRIBUNE is not, perhaps, exacly the same as being the president - however, I think Mr. Vonnegut has a point, and I’d be more than happy to provide just the right level of mental_illness to my post as Tribune.
As far as qualifications go. . . um, I’m an excellent speller? Does that count? I seriously have boxes of trophies with little golden bespectacled bees - relics of a misspent youth.
No, seriously, I don’t know everything, but thankfully, representing “The People” certainly doesn’t require that! Come on People! You don’t know everything either! Right? And you don’t have any bee trophies!
posted by Danzilla on 11-14-2006 at 12:54 am
When is the election? Did it already occur?
posted by Jojo the Monkey Boy on 11-15-2006 at 5:39 pm