I realize that being THE PEOPLE’S TRIBUNE is not, perhaps, exacly the same as being the president – however, I think Mr. Vonnegut has a point, and I’d be more than happy to provide just the right level of mental_illness to my post as Tribune.

As far as qualifications go. . . um, I’m an excellent speller? Does that count? I seriously have boxes of trophies with little golden bespectacled bees – relics of a misspent youth.

No, seriously, I don’t know everything, but thankfully, representing “The People” certainly doesn’t require that! Come on People! You don’t know everything either! Right? And you don’t have any bee trophies!

1. Some might categorize me as a lurker. I say that I’m just so sneaky, you don’t notice me participating. My ninja-like commenting skills go unnoticed by the untrained eye. And who doesn’t love ninja skills?
“Vote Lyssa, she’s stealthy!”

2. I’m diverse! I love art, literature and science, but I am also known for sending friends gross facts and icky bug pictures to ruin their lunch.
“Lyssa. Representing Shakespeare AND things you want to poke with sticks.”

3. I’m full of great ideas! You want free healthcare? I propose Cooperative Preventative Healthcare Plan 2006!
Every time you see a co-worker doing something that might potentially damage their health, you point a rolled up newspaper at them and go, “NO. No. BAD.” (But you don’t smack them with it. Cause that’s mean. And you could cause a bruise or pull a muscle, defeating the purpose of Cooperative Preventative Healthcare Plan 2006.)

Cube mate has a fever, but won’t go home?
“NO.”

Buddy reaches for one too many Bawls and not water?
“No.”

Boss stands on a rolling chair to get something off the top shelf?
“BAD.”

**I can help with the actual needing treatment thing too, but not until next term. We build this bridge one plank at a time, people. One plank at a time.)

See? Great ideas, diversity and ninja skills. You can’t beat that with a nun holding a yardstick.

“Lyssa! Helping people since at least 10 o’clock this morning….”

I know I can represent readers by personnally revealing the solutions to P ≠ NP, the location of Hoffa’s body, and why people are stilling flying to Vegas and dropping $100 on a Celine Dion ticket.

I will establish a meritocracy through-out the land, at least until I can figure out how to get campaign contributions…..

As JFK once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country” and while you are asking your country a question, please promote me, Tucker Steel, for PEOPLE’S TRIBUNE