I actually didn’t know it was possible to hurt oneself with a Skydancer. Sure, they amounted to airborn, bladed weapons, but they weren’t that heavy (unless you got the huge, 1-foot tall version, but I think those had wings made of foam rather than plastic.).

Being born in the early nineties, we didn’t have access to most of the toys you lucky old folks did. We had to create our OWN danger.

My neighbor’s dad worked for a company that gave him a whole bag of promotional pocket knives. So us kids each got one that we used to pick glass shards out of the asphalt of our street and carve our names into tree branches (after climbing up to the top, blade in hand, of course) or whatever else we pleased. I still have that thing, though now I use the tweezer function more than anything.

We also used to dip our fingers into hot liquid candle wax and make long stalactites out of the hardened wax. Then, I’d take my pocket knife, superheat the tip in the candle flame, and look for stuff to brand or melt.

Electrical currents were fun too. I remember one camping trip in which we got ahold of a tennis racket-shaped bug zapper and took turns touching the metal and getting zapped (although, to be fair, I’m pretty sure I wussed out).

When I was young, a concrete wall (about 7′ tall) was added behind our house to separate our property from the elementary school’s sports field and basketball court. And so, I learned a lesson in trespassing in the summer when my cousin and I would climb it to use their playground (endorsed by my parents, no less). Before that, I had used it for more wholesome activities, such as jumping off of it in an attempt to parachute using oversized plastic shopping bags. And true, seven feet may not be a big deal now, but when you were six, you might as well’ve been standing on the roof.

I think the only permanent harm that ever came to me in my youth was on my ZAPPY electric scooter in a relatively safe game of “scooter tag”. My opponents, armed with Razor scooters, were much faster with better maneuverability, and could lift their scooters over obstacles. It is not possible to obtain high speeds on an electric scooter through dirt and grass, so when I encountered the brick walkway on the side of my house, it just didn’t have the juice to climb the three inch difference between the ground and the brick. It tried, though. And when it failed in its endeavor, the handlebars kicked back into my face, at mouth level, and jammed my front tooth about half an inch back into my gums (which was kinda neat because i could fit a straw through it). Braces (mostly) fixed it, but I still have a tiny chip as a souvenier.

I also used to get in trouble for using sticks and poles like swords and injuring the other kids. Their parents would always confiscate them. Not a problem, though. In South Florida you’re only one hurricane away from a brand new stash of cut tree branches. it was at that point that I started carving them into swords with my trusty pocket knife. But my dad, good parent that he is, noted that it would take too long to use my dull little knife and I was allowed to use his switchblade instead. That worked out pretty well for me, because the neighborhood parents couldn’t take my weapons away because I had “worked SO hard” on them and I got to learn how to play games involving tossing the switchblade across the yard.

None of this stuff could ever compare to the original dodgeball, though. There’s nothing more satisfying than imprinting that pattern into some kid’s face or leg with those rubber balls. Words cannot describe how much I miss that game.

I got shot in the leg at close range by my friends BB gun and survived.

We would slide down the slip and slide until we had rubbed ourselves raw.

We would use pine cones as ammunition for our slingshots. I got hit in the eye and lived to tell about it.

A friend of mine took out his mini bike without permission. It fell on top of him and branded HONDA into his leg backwards. He couldn’t wear shorts for the rest of the summer, because he was afraid his parents would see it.

None of us ever got injured from Jarts!!!

We used to play tag in my cousin’s basement/garage in the wintertime. One night he put his hand through the car outside rear view mirror. He still has the scars.

We set up ramps for our paperboy bikes. Before we did the jump we would put the klickty klacks on our spokes or use playing cards with clothes pins to hold them on. Paperboy bikes are not too good for getting airborne!!!!

We used to ride mini bikes and motorcycles with no helmets. My cousin did get a concussion one time when he stood up and then went over the handlebars. We did not even think to take him to the hospital until that night when he didn’t know who we were.

I remember helping my cousins on the farm in the summer, and I would sit on the wheel fender of the tractor as we went down the road. Luckily I never fell off. The whole time the wheel would be right next to my hand.

Did anyone used to ride on the tailgate of a pickup? We would sit 3 or 4 across and swing our legs as we went down the highway. No one ever fell off. There were a couple of close calls though.

What about firecrackers? Ever have one explode in your hand as you were trying to throw it?

We used to play war with Roman Candles. Ever get hit by one of those flying balls????

When it got dark outside and we had to come in, we would play electric football for hours on end or we would set up the electric train set and crash the electric race cars into the trains!!!

Did anyone jump off the playground swing to see who could jump the highest? How we didn’t break any bones doing that, I don’t know.

What about smear the qu###? Did anyone play that when you didn’t have enough guys to divide up in to two real teams?

How many people rode on the bicycle handlebars of their friend? My neighbor got his foot caught in the front wheel of someone’s bike, but that never stopped us.

Did anyone used to do wheelies in the street with their bikes to see who could go the furtherest on 1 wheel? A couple of my friends smashed in to cars because they were too focused on the wheelie.

I could go on, but I am getting tired. I cannot believe that I remember half of that stuff. The kids today have no idea of what they are missing. Sitting around playing stupid video games does not come close to doing that stuff!!!