mental_floss magazine
SUBSCRIBE >
GIFT SUBSCRIPTIONS >
DIGITAL SUBSCRIPTIONS >
subscriber services >
Chicago Cubs starting pitcher Ryan Dempster just hit the disabled list with a fractured big right toe he suffered while trying to hurdle the dugout railing to go celebrate a Cubs win. While the news that Dempster could miss a month of action might cause Cubs fans to wonder if they really are cursed, Dempster’s hardly the first athlete to sustain a weird injury. Here are a few highlights from the injury reports of days gone by.
1. Sacramento Kings small forward Lionel Simmons missed two games in his rookie season (1991) because he had tendonitis in his right wrist and forearm from playing too much GameBoy.
2. In 1994, journeyman knuckleballer Steve Sparks missed out on a chance to make his first big-league roster when he dislocated his shoulder during spring training with the Milwaukee Brewers. He tried to rip a phone book while imitating a group of motivational speakers who had visited the team.
3. NHL goalie Glenn Healy enjoyed a long career, and he also enjoyed playing the bagpipes. While playing for the Maple Leafs in 2000, Healy needed stitches after slicing himself while repairing an antique set of pipes.
4. Point guard Muggsy Bogues once missed the second half of a game after he became dizzy from inhaling ointment fumes while receiving treatment for a sore muscle at halftime.
5. Hall of Fame offensive tackle Turk Edwards suffered a career-ending injury in 1940 during the pregame coin toss. When Edwards turned to return to the Washington Redskins’ sideline, he caught his cleats on the turf, which wrecked his fragile knee and forced him into retirement.
6. Hall of Fame third baseman Wade Boggs once missed seven games after straining his back while trying to pull on his trademark cowboy boots. (In all fairness, it’s probably tough with all of that chicken grease on your fingers.)
7. After scoring a goal in 2004, Servette midfielder Paulo Diogo decided to celebrate by jumping into the crowd. His wedding ring had other plans, though, and caught on a fence. The force ripped off the top of Diogo’s finger, and to add insult to injury, the refs booked him for excessive celebration.
8. Actually, it might just be a good idea to take off all of your rings when you hit the field or court. Atlanta Braves closer Cecil Upshaw missed the entire 1970 season when his ring got caught on an awning as he tried to demonstrate his slam dunk technique.
9. Boston Red Sox pitcher Clarence Blethen didn’t have a long career, but he did have a fine set of false teeth. According to legend, Blethen liked to carry his false teeth in his back pocket when he played, which was a decent enough plan until he had to make a takeout slide at second to break up a double play during the 1923 season. When Blethen slid, his false chompers supposedly bit him on the rear, which led to a bloody mess that forced him out of the game.
10. At some point during the 1975 or 1976 season, Mets reliever Ken Sanders had so much trouble seeing through the glare coming off of a glass partition behind home plate at Shea Stadium, he didn’t realize his catcher had tossed the ball back to him. The ball conked Sanders right in the face, breaking his nose and cheek.
11. Journeyman reliever Greg A. Harris once missed two starts for the Rangers after he inflamed his elbow by spending an entire game flicking sunflower seeds at a friend who was sitting nearby.
12. One more reason to pay attention to your pharmacist: Brazilian soccer star Ramalho once missed three days of action because he was bedridden after taking a suppository orally.
13. Norwegian defender Svein Grondalen went for a jog as part of his training for an international match during the 1970s…and ran headlong into a moose. The injury forced him to withdraw from the match.
14. Can’t believe this one hasn’t happened to Prince Fielder yet: Atlanta first baseman Ryan Klesko missed several games in 1999 after straining his back while picking up his lunch tray.
15. Pitcher Tom Glavine suffered from food poisoning during the 1992 season; his symptoms were so bad that he broke a rib while vomiting.
16. Chicago Cubs outfielder Jose Cardenal missed a game in 1974 because his eyelid was “stuck open,” which prevented him from blinking. Although he eventually overcame this ailment, it didn’t help Cardenal’s reputation as a player who liked to use suspicious injuries to get out of games; two seasons earlier he had missed a game because crickets in his hotel room had kept him up all night, leaving him exhausted.
17. Pitching great Nolan Ryan once missed a start after he was allegedly bitten by a coyote.
18. In May 2002 Baltimore Orioles left fielder Marty Cordova fell asleep in a tanning bed and got a wicked sunburn on his face. His doctor ordered him to stay out of direct sunlight, which meant Cordova had to hide out in the clubhouse during day games until his face healed.
19. Stuttgart Kickers soccer player Sascha Bender once suffered a facial injury after being punched. The assailant, teammate Christian Okpala, said Bender “permanently provoked me by farting all the time.”
Obviously, these are just a few of the greatest weird injuries. We left out some commonly cited examples, like Bill Gramatica’s painful field goal celebration and Gus Frerotte’s ill-conceived head butt. Share your favorites in the comments.
More from mental_floss…
10 Sports Rules Named After People
*
What Your Favorite Teams Were Almost Called
*
How Your Favorite Sneakers Got Their Names
*
Where Are These Thousand Islands? The Origins of 7 Condiments & Sauces
*
If the U.S. Stopped Importing Oil, How Quickly Would We Run Out?
Comments (30)
Comment
- Follow mental_floss
A couple years back when Milton Bradley tore his knee up after arguing with a 1st base umpire who swore at him.
posted by Pablo on 7-9-2009 at 12:28 am
How can any strange injury list omit John Smoltz burning himself while trying to iron a shirt he was wearing.
posted by Adam on 7-9-2009 at 1:37 am
During his tenure as one of the Braves’ great pitchers, John Smoltz managed to seriously burn himself by ironing a shirt WHILE WEARING IT. Completely insane.
posted by Paul on 7-9-2009 at 2:44 am
How about Chris Hanson cutting his leg open with an axe that was in the locker room on a block of wood used for the coach in a motivational speech…
posted by Tim on 7-9-2009 at 8:00 am
My favorite is Joel Zumaya who missed the 2006 ALCS with Detroit because of a Guitar Hero injury.
posted by Nick on 7-9-2009 at 8:37 am
In 2006, the Tigers had a stupid video game injury. Relief pitcher, Joel Zumaya, missed 3 playoff games due to inflammation in his throwing arm from too much Guitar Hero.
The link is in my name.
posted by Maceo on 7-9-2009 at 8:52 am
Notice most of these injuries are to baseball players. Real athletes do not hurt themselves by eating lunch. But as Tom Selleck’s character said in Mr. Baseball, “We aren’t athletes, we’re baseball players.”
posted by TXCherokee on 7-9-2009 at 9:17 am
Here’s the thing about the Smoltz-ironing-his-shirt injury: it might not have happened. That story’s been around since the early 90s, and as far back as a 1996 interview with the Sporting News Smoltz has vehemently denied that it ever happened. So it might just be an urban legend, which sort of makes sense given that Smoltz doesn’t seem stupid enough to iron a shirt he was wearing.
posted by Ethan Trex on 7-9-2009 at 9:21 am
Not sure if this is a rumor, but Jeff Kent was out for awhile when he wrecked his motorcycle while showing off in front of the ladies.
posted by Marty on 7-9-2009 at 9:22 am
You forgot when Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa was out for several games after he pulled a muscle in his back while sneezing.
posted by Julie Merilatt on 7-9-2009 at 10:03 am
How about Vince Coleman of the Cardinals getting run over by a retractable tarp in the 1985 NLCS
posted by ggbenny on 7-9-2009 at 10:14 am
What about that NFL quarterback a few years ago who damn near broke his neck celebrating a touchdown by headbutting the wall behind the endzone?
Does anyone know how that was? I couldn’t find any articles…
posted by Jonny Hammersticks on 7-9-2009 at 10:15 am
Ricky Henderson once got frostbite in the middle of the summer and had to miss a few games because he fell asleep on an icepack.
posted by Zach on 7-9-2009 at 10:35 am
Jack Johnson, defenseman for the St. Louis Blues missed the entire 2008-09 season because of a golf accident. Tore is ACL when he jumped out of a cart while it was rolling.
posted by D Hue on 7-9-2009 at 10:57 am
Jonny Hammersticks,
That was Gus Frerotte’s ill-conceived head butt that the author mentioned at the very end of the article.
posted by Nick on 7-9-2009 at 11:03 am
By far the dumbest and most devastating injury is the Serbian basketball player that slammed his head into the base of the bball hoop in frustration only to injure his neck and paralyze himself. Talk about severe consequences for overreacting. Click on my name for the link to the story.
How about Ted Ginn Jr. getting injured in a celebration during the National Title Game after returning the opening kick off for a TD and eliminating the best offensive weapon OSU had?
The weirdest reason I’ve ever seen a guy get put on the DL or sent down to the minors in MLB is Dontrelle Willis getting sent down due to “Anxiety”. I’ve never heard of that happening before in sports before this year (or maybe it was last year?).
posted by Mike James on 7-9-2009 at 11:30 am
The Blue Jays had an outfielder a few years back, Glenallen Hill, who missed a number of games after getting scrapes on his feet, knees and arms because he’d had a nightmare about spiders (he was [is?] arachnophobic) that caused him to get out of bed, run into a glass table, and fall down stairs. Info is in Hill’s wikipedia entry.
posted by Jon. on 7-9-2009 at 11:52 am
Just last week Chicago Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster broke his big toe jumping over the dugout railing to celebrate a victory.
posted by Austin on 7-9-2009 at 12:07 pm
Just an fyi to all of you who continue to mention John Smoltz and his iron…its not true. Smoltz denied it when the rumor first came out and the media continued to mention it because it was funny.
posted by Matt on 7-9-2009 at 12:54 pm
Gus Frerote was the Washington Redskins quarterback who injured his neck headbutting a wall after he scored a touchdown.
posted by Ray on 7-9-2009 at 2:17 pm
Clint Barmes – Here is what I got from Wikipedia:
In June 2005 (his rookie season) Barmes suffered an injury that sidelined him until September after breaking his left collarbone in a fall while carrying a large slab of meat given to him as a gift by Todd Helton up the stairs in his apartment building on June 5. Barmes initially told the team and the press that he got hurt carrying groceries, but later admitted that this was not the truth. He claimed that he was trying to prevent Helton from being embarrassed. Barmes, who was leading National League rookies in most offensive categories, underwent surgery on June 7.
posted by Ian on 7-9-2009 at 3:01 pm
Actually D Hue, that was Erik Johnson. One of the funnier ones I can think of is when Ken Griffey Jr. Missed a game because his cup pinched his testicle.
posted by Helder on 7-9-2009 at 3:33 pm
How about Joe Sakic of the Colorado Avalanche missing time due to a snow blower accident. He never played again.
posted by Dave on 7-9-2009 at 3:51 pm
What kind of crappy hotel was Cardenal staying in? If I had crickets in my room, I’d be complaining to the manager, not trying to sleep there all night.
I bet the friend Harris was flicking seeds at thought that was a good form of karma.
posted by Jenn on 7-9-2009 at 3:57 pm
Ethan and Matt have thrown cold water on the John Smoltz fun (and I hadn’t seen Adam’s comment when I posted), so I’ll offer a second one: Mark Quinn (KC Royals) started the 2002 season with a broken rib and explained it as an injury sustained while “kung fu fighting” with his brother. Also a classic.
posted by Paul on 7-9-2009 at 4:01 pm
Adam Eaton stabbed himself in the stomach with a knife while trying to open a DVD a few years ago when he was with the Padres.
posted by Chris C on 7-9-2009 at 4:23 pm
Lance Berkman missed some games last year or the year before after an injury he sustained while playing flag football for with his church group.
Didn’t Moises Alou fall off his treadmill? A lot of guys seem to have done that.
posted by almost on 7-9-2009 at 5:17 pm
In September 2004, Kevin Brown had a bad start, punched the clubhouse wall, and broke his hand. It was his non-pitching hand, which allowed him to come back and lose game 7 of the ALCS. Sigh.
posted by Liz on 7-9-2009 at 8:36 pm
Derrik Rose of the Chicago Bulls stabbed his arm with a knife after eating an apple in bed in 2008.
And BTW, I’ve heard of many people (mostly average Joes) who have pulled a muscle from sneezing.
posted by MrsCoffee on 7-9-2009 at 10:42 pm
Robert Edwards Running Back for the Patriots in 1998 nearly lost his leg from an injury play Flag Football on the beach at an NFL Sactioned event.
David Wells had to have surgery afer he tripped in his kitchen and landed on a glass.
Red Sox First base coach Lynn Jones stabbed himself in the eye in a screwdriver accident.
posted by Manywaters on 7-10-2009 at 11:34 pm