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When it comes to parties, I tend to arrive late. With Facebook, one of the centuries biggest parties, I made no exception. To be completely honest, I created an account many moons ago, but only to play Scrabble with a friend back East. He was my one and only friend. But when it came time a couple months ago to create the How Did You Know? fan page (have you joined yet?), I started spending quality time on Facebook, and eventually changed my fake Scrabble name to my real name, added a photo to my profile, and fleshed out some of the info.
So I’m a month into the party now, and I’m starting to see clear trends. Some friends fall into category A, while others B. What about you all? What kind of friend are you? Here’s the category breakdown (and drop a comment if you think I’ve missed any):
A) The Overzealous Updater
This is the friend who can’t go half a day without sharing What’s On His Mind. Honestly people. We really don’t need to know that you’ve just had your second shower of the day. For that matter, we didn’t need to hear about the first one either.
B) The Link-bot
This is the friend who does nothing but share links all day. Links to articles he’s read that he thinks the whole world should be reading, links to movie reviews, links to new games coming on the market, links to his Twitter page where he’s gone and posted 10 more links. There needs to be a limit. Some links are good, especially when they send people to this blog. But let’s impose a 2-link-max rule per day, what do you say?
C) The Groupie
This is the friend who has joined more groups than Marcia Brady did that one year in high school when she was overcommitted and frazzled. Asian Americans in Israel who Support Diplomacy with Iran? Really?
D) I Am My Kids
This is the friend who only uses Facebook to post photos of the little ones, or updates that read: “Tommy didn’t feel well today, so he stayed home from school.” Might as well not even have your own profile, just create one for the kid(s), no?
E) Spies (who used to) Like Us
This is the Ex who only friends you so s/he can spy on you and make sure you have fewer friends that s/he does, and that your new significant other is less attractive than s/he was.
F) The Wanna-Be
This is the person who friends someone with the great hope of becoming friends with that person in real life, be it a minor celeb, or just someone the Wanna-Be really admires from a slight distance.
G) The Two-facer
This is the friend who accepts your friend request just to be polite, but then Hides your updates immediately. Unfortunately, you have no idea who the two-facers are.
H) The Networker
This is the friend whose main purpose on Facebook is to build a list he can tap when he needs to for work/career. You know these friends because they only message you with e-mails that read “So you still over at Viacom?”
I) The OverPoker
No need to explain this one, right?
J) The Get-A-Lifer
This is the hardcore friend who has nothing better to do but subscribe and follow you via SMS.
K) The Attention Seeker*
This is the friend who posts status updates that are purposely vague, and therefore beg for a comment. Their status is all about getting you to respond, getting attention, getting sympathy. “Lori is scared, but hopes everything works out…” [*sent to me by my friend Dawn, who is definitely an M... see below]
L) The Over Suggester
Just stop. Okay? Let me figure out who I want to be friends with, okay? Honestly.
M) The Good Friend
This is the friend who mercifully doesn’t fit in any of the above categories and is, hopefully, just one of many normal, average facebookers you’ve friended. Let’s hear it for the Good Friend!
{Honorable mention: The Foodie — this is the friend who’s always posting updates with photos of plates of food}
{Favorite quote overheard when a friend of a Friend got a new Friend on FB — “Ah man, I’m now friends with my dad… Jesus.”}
If you aren’t a Fan of the mentalfloss Facebook page yet, be sure to go do that now.
Comments (96)
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Funny! But you missed at least one. The Impresser. This person likes to post their status as something sure to impress. “Just washed the Jag. Now off to the track to check on my new filly.”
posted by Hyacinth on 7-16-2009 at 8:54 am
Also be sure to check out myparentsjoinedfacebook.com
Too funny!
posted by Hyacinth on 7-16-2009 at 8:56 am
The applicator: The person that floods your minifeed with all the games s/he is playing. “OMG! I gotz a new high scores on buzzball!” Thank you for sharing for conquests; you totally made my day with a high score.
Thanks for the list! Friends faces are forever stamped with facebook logos now.
posted by Griffin Patterson on 7-16-2009 at 8:56 am
How funny! You said what I was thinking!
Let’s not forget about the long lost family members who don’t have time to call or stay in touch but suddenly on Facebook love the hell outta ya LOL
posted by MrsPurrbottom on 7-16-2009 at 8:58 am
Combining A & D is THE WORST. Oh god, nothing will get me to hide someone from my news feed faster than 10 posts a day about a 5 month old.
posted by Heather on 7-16-2009 at 9:05 am
Oh man, combining A & D is THE WORST. Nothing will get me to hide someone from my news feed faster than 10+ posts a day all about a 5 month old who doesn’t actually do anything except poop.
posted by Heather on 7-16-2009 at 9:07 am
you’ve forgotten the reluctant subscribers– the ones that are forced to make a facebook page by their girlfriend or boyfriend. I know of too many of them, myself included, that they should be exempt from this list.
posted by Joel on 7-16-2009 at 9:14 am
Wait a minute. I didn’t know about the hide updates feature. I’m going to log into facebook right now and use it! Thanks
posted by beki on 7-16-2009 at 9:14 am
I recently purged my Facebook of all of the “friends” that were high school classmates or former colleagues, but with whom I was never particularly close. I felt really heartless for a bit, but I can’t tell you how much more I enjoy Facebook now that I don’t have to sift through annoying minutae about obstetrician appointments and whining about how cold Boston is to find out what the people I actually like are up to. Life is too short to keep defibrillating relationships that deserve to rest in peace.
posted by Cold As Ice on 7-16-2009 at 9:20 am
The Singer: (over)- Updating facebook with song lyrics.
posted by Liz on 7-16-2009 at 9:21 am
I agree with Griffin and would like to include in that category people that spend their time on Facebook taking surveys and quizzes and posting the results. I just don’t see the relevance in knowing what someone’s name would be if they were a Transformer or the Hogwart’s house to which they would belong.
posted by bzzyb on 7-16-2009 at 9:22 am
The Evangelizer: Probably an amalgam of types A thru L (and maybe M), but add a generous touch of religiousity. “Just ate some cheetos. Isn’t God great!?!?” “Molly took her first steps! Praise Jesus!” “Here is a link to a video/article that everyone should see/read. Makes you think, huh?”
And you just know every piece of flair, application invite, “gift”, etc. is going to have something to do with Jesus. I get it, I respect it, enough already.
posted by Ben on 7-16-2009 at 9:25 am
Great article! I can’t wait to link it on my profile!
N) The Quizzer
A person who seems to do every single quiz out there and ALWAYS publishes the results (even though there’s a button allowing you not to publish it).
Horrible combination: N+D – the person who takes quizzes about how much they love their kids, how many kids they will have, and if they’re pregnant (I actually had a cousin, who was confirmed pregnant by doctors, take a the quiz “Are you pregnant?” C’mon…)
posted by Jenny on 7-16-2009 at 9:29 am
I agree with Joel! We should be exempt.
posted by sumgrl on 7-16-2009 at 9:42 am
Oh yeah, you’re right! The quizzers and the applicators! How well do you know Suzy? Take the quiz! Yikes!
posted by Hyacinth on 7-16-2009 at 9:43 am
I would like to add two more (including the category I believe I fall into).
The category I fall into would be The Ornery Commenter (or, if you prefer, Too Witty for his/her own good). This is a person who hates all of the above people (especially A’s D’s and K’s) and makes way more comments than he/she makes actual status updates. More than likely, the comments made are slight (or not so slight) digs on people who have way too much time to update their stupid profiles.
The second category I’d like to nominate is The Gamer (similar to the Applicator suggested by Griffin in the comments). These are the people who do nothing but play games and post their scores. These are also people who need an Ace of Diamonds or a Cigar to finish a mission in Mafia Wars.
posted by Ian on 7-16-2009 at 9:44 am
I had a Digger for a “friend” once. I decided maybe he wasn’t really a friend and removed him. Really, Ian, is it that bad? I know sometimes people’s posts seems silly and trivial to us, but then let’s just hide them. Or not be their friend at all, no?
posted by Hyacinth on 7-16-2009 at 9:50 am
@Hyacinth
Actually, I love reading other people’s stupid updates. It brings me much joy to know that there are people out there with egos the size of Texas that people actually think others care about their silly lives. Think of it this way, if I hid everyone’s stupid posts, then I would have no ornery comments to post. Basically, if you hide people you don’t care about, you would not be in on the joke and you wouldn’t get so much pleasure in this article. I probably wouldn’t have understood any of this post had I hidden all the dumb people. Not to mention, if I hide all ths stupid posts, I wouldn’t see ANYTHING because they are basically all stupid (including my own).
WOW….I love ranting like this. Maybe I’ll post this same thing on my Facebook Profile.
posted by Ian on 7-16-2009 at 9:59 am
I think Ian just needs a hug….
posted by Hyacinth on 7-16-2009 at 10:11 am
Can Facebook be over soon? Please? Pretty please? It’s time for it to go the way of Friendster and MySpace.
posted by Waverly on 7-16-2009 at 10:22 am
Man, I am always ranting about this, I am glad someone finally wrote an article about this. I especially can’t stand D + K. K always says stuff like, “6 more days.” I never ask them “6 more days until what?” because that’s what they want.
posted by Jon on 7-16-2009 at 10:22 am
@Hy
You got me – a hug is a cure all.
Don’t even get me started on Twitter. This is the single most idiotic invention ever. Basically, Twitter is a bunch of people in the A category with egos too large to contain. I love facebook because it is nice to catch up with people from your past. Twitter is just a bunch of egomaniacs with something (read NOTHING) to say.
posted by Ian on 7-16-2009 at 10:23 am
There are good suggestions in the comments, and I have another one. The Advertiser. This is the one that joined FB for the sole purpose of advertising his/her (or his/her spouse’s) business, Mary Kay products, freelance abilities, real estate opportunities, motivational speaking/financial freedom planning dates, etc. And the reason you don’t automatically block these people is that you were actually friends with them at one point!
posted by neptuneflame on 7-16-2009 at 10:27 am
There’s also the “like”r, who “likes” EVERYTHING. :)
posted by bostnbirdy on 7-16-2009 at 10:34 am
One of the strangest ones to me is D)I Am My Kids. Especially when their own profile pic is a photo of their kid/kids. No identity? Then why have a facebook page at all?
The quizzers are the worst. If you take a quiz, you have the option to pulish your results or not. So, it freaks me out a little that these people think everyone wants to know How Blonde they are or What Former President best matches their personality. And while we’re on the subject of quizzes: Who makes them, and why can’t they spell?
posted by bre on 7-16-2009 at 11:05 am
I have another addition: The Silent Stalker. The person who is friends with everyone they even remotely know and check Facebook every day but never update anything. They only want to read how crazy people are. This is my wife.
posted by yrhumbleservant on 7-16-2009 at 11:09 am
@bostnbirdy
*thumbs up* Ian likes this
posted by Ian on 7-16-2009 at 11:12 am
What about The Recruiter? It’s someone who almost WEEKLY tries to get you to join a Facebook game like Mafia Wars or Pirates or whatever it’s called. Sorry, guys, I just don’t have time to devote 12 hours a day to do that crap. I’M NEVER GOING TO JOIN, so stop it. Seriously.
posted by Scott Roberts on 7-16-2009 at 11:14 am
I can kind of understand a parent having their kid’s picture as their profile photo, but your niece/nephew/neighbor’s kid/child that you babysit? You need your own identiry.
posted by PartiallyDeflected on 7-16-2009 at 11:42 am
Quizzers are the worst, but I think I might hate the danged Mafia War people even more.
posted by Anya on 7-16-2009 at 11:50 am
What about the Commenter? He/She is always commenting on updates/photos/etc.
posted by Mike on 7-16-2009 at 12:08 pm
An interesting read, but I have to say that the “definately” that appears toward the bottom of the article is something that makes me die just a little inside.
posted by Jordan on 7-16-2009 at 12:25 pm
Two more: people who change their profile photos way too often, and people who post album after album of photos documenting what they did that weekend, or their trip to Prague, to demonstrate to everyone else how cool and fun their lives are! Why waste your time posting the pictures? Go out and keep enjoying your life if it’s so great!
posted by Eliza on 7-16-2009 at 12:28 pm
I am a reluctant subscriber thanks to a friend that overnight became ‘The Evangelizer’. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
posted by TC on 7-16-2009 at 12:44 pm
I think we need to make a FB group, just so we have something to complain about in a formal FB group.
posted by o-kay on 7-16-2009 at 12:45 pm
@Eliza:
I love going through albums that someone actually put thought into – they only put good pictures up, no duplicates, they actually caption the pics so you know what is going on.
What is annoying is when people post 394018 pics of themselves making stupid faces or every single one of their vacation pics, most of which are out of focus!
posted by Katherine on 7-16-2009 at 12:48 pm
the Quizzer: the person who takes every quiz known to facebook. I don’t need to know which pick up line, or which transformer/harry potter character, everybody is.
posted by Monica on 7-16-2009 at 1:01 pm
@o-kay – let us know when you get that done. I volunteer to be an officer. Ian probably should be the President.
@Ian – I’m right with you. I actually have two friends that gang up on others with me. I was never the bully in school, but I guess I am making up for it now…
Another Facebook ap (well several) is “Send a Drink” and its 300 duplicate applications where your friends send you drinks and you become virtually drunk. I just don’t get it. What’s the point?
posted by bzzyb on 7-16-2009 at 1:07 pm
@Ian,
Glad to be of service! ;-)
I don’t twitter and don’t see the point to doing so. I can barely keep up with what I am doing without getting constant texts on Ashton Kucher or anyone else.
Facebook is a good way for me to stay in touch with family and friends I don’t get to see too often. Am I wrong to not want to “friend” everyone I know from work and my neighborhood that I see every single day?
posted by Hyacinth on 7-16-2009 at 1:09 pm
How about the Dirty Launderer? A variation of \A\, only this person feels the need to broadcast every wretched detail of not only their own life but also the lives of every single person who may or may not have wronged them at some point in time.
So you ex is a jackass? Thanks for sharing. I don’t need to be reminded of that 15 times a day!
posted by David on 7-16-2009 at 1:11 pm
@o-kay:
I agree, following the great Bill Hicks, lets have a FB People who hate FB people group.
posted by SA on 7-16-2009 at 1:14 pm
Oh, one more! A variation of D, I Am My Pets.
posted by David on 7-16-2009 at 1:23 pm
o-kay’s suggestion is great! I agree with the folks who hate A and D, I’ve hidden some friends too, because of that. I just hide their newsfeed posts, and click on their pages periodically, just to see how they are.
But you know when you really think about it, if you add up all those we’ve been ranting about, they make up the majority of people on FB, so I guess it’s something we’ve just gotta live with. I still think it’s fun!
posted by KS on 7-16-2009 at 1:27 pm
I agree with almost every comment on here. But really, 90% can be addressed by just choosing “hide updates” by that individual.
posted by xtopherp on 7-16-2009 at 1:45 pm
Hi, my name is Anne, and I am a partial B.
(Hi, Anne!)
I do hereby try to do my best to limit my linking only to MF. Maayyybee to another site that makes me laugh so hard that coca cola tries to escape through my nostrils.
Hey, it’s hard being a SAHM – I need some form of entertainment!
But I am very willing to join the aforementioned group. I nominate Ian as president, and will bring cookies to the next meeting.
posted by MamaBug on 7-16-2009 at 2:18 pm
I can’t stand all those freaking “so-and-so sent you a drink/gave you a cupcake/hugged you” applications. I was getting so many of those from one person I just started blocking the application all together.
posted by Hannibal Schlechter on 7-16-2009 at 2:36 pm
I am going to link this post to my Facebook to share with my buddies.
posted by Joelm on 7-16-2009 at 2:39 pm
I definetly think K are the worst…but what I really hate is when people actually pay attention to their stupid comments (what happened?, whats wrong?) uuuuuuuuuuuh!
posted by Diego on 7-16-2009 at 2:54 pm
So, I just removed all quiz results from my facebook page. I had no idea. Good thing sites like this keep me in the loop.
posted by kim on 7-16-2009 at 2:57 pm
Don’t forget the subcategory of D, which may be in its own category: the Competitive Parent. “I’m so proud of my 12-year-old for acing the SATs!”
posted by Marjorie on 7-16-2009 at 2:57 pm
I consider myself an M – I don’t post all my quiz results, and while I recently started playing Mafia Wars, I don’t post every single achievement.
Hey is mental_floss on FB? Just asking!
posted by Steve from San Diego on 7-16-2009 at 3:14 pm
I like FB but I think you missed a couple in my opinion:
1. The person that constantly posts what they are eating and I am not talking about at Morton’s. I am talking about the “I am eating Fruit Loops right now” post.
2. We all have at least 1 person on our list who does this: If they go get the mail, they have to document it with photos and upload them on FB-AAAARRRGGGH
3. The person that is always posting that they are working or going to work. It is ok once in a while but some people do it everyday.
4. The person that ends their night with the comment “I have been on FB too long and I need to get to bed now”. Who cares-just go to bed.
5. The person that abbreviates everything in their post: “I had 2 go 2 the store 4 a cold drink 4 my grl bc she is frkng out a/b…….
6. The person that communicates with their family or friends in a back forth discussion about things only pertaining to them. Where they are going to meet, what time, what to bring……. Just do a private discussion-it is not much harder.
7. The person that does not post a picture of themselves but has posted pictures of their grandkids, cats, dogs, cartoon characters…..
To a lesser degree:
1. The person who posts this in their status “ummm….I have got nothing to say”
2. the person that posts several times a day updates from vacation. That’s a great idea-let everyone know that you are at the beach 1200 miles from home and that are are not leaving for 6 more days.
posted by John on 7-16-2009 at 3:56 pm
I have to admit to being a two-facer, but that’s better than the gamers and singers! I get so mad when my home page is full of all the stupid quizzes and games that “friends” are playing.
I guess that’s my fault for expecting better content.
posted by Renee on 7-16-2009 at 4:22 pm
I’m a photo album junkie. (17 at last count.) FB an easy way to upload all my vacation/event pics so my mom can see them without the hours of emailing and tech support on the phone. But then I only friend people I actually know on FB so they like the photos.
posted by Bunnymuffin on 7-16-2009 at 4:32 pm
What about the people who relentlessly urge you to join MS/FB when you don’t want to!? I’ve got a slew of those.
posted by Dave on 7-16-2009 at 4:32 pm
@John, you make a good point. Advertising to people that you are out of town is a bad idea, and posting it to your “friends” on facebook isn’t any better. May as well leave the front door unlocked.
posted by Hyacinth on 7-16-2009 at 7:02 pm
@bunnymuffin – I’m also a photo album junkie – I’ve got 53 albums and counting. Mostly because I don’t want my photos to disappear altogether if my laptop gets stolen but also to keep my mum and dad updated.
I crack up at people who post photos of plates of food at restaurants though – I cannot imagine whipping out my camera at a restaurant to take a photo of my food.
Oh and I used to be annoyed at loved-up couples who professed their love for each other over facebook, as well as new mums who needed to tell the world about their baby’s bowel movements, and was about to hide their status updates from my feed, but then I found these two sites dedicated to the very FB types that annoy me, and now I can’t wait to submit my own examples to them –
stfumarrieds.tumblr.com
stfuparents.tumblr.com
posted by dangermouse on 7-16-2009 at 7:23 pm
I would so join a group on facebook dedicated to the hate of what other people post on facebook. Ian for president!
posted by Ellie on 7-16-2009 at 8:22 pm
This is probably me.
The I don’t get it.
Those people who log on for five minutes scroll through boring updates of people they once knew take a way too easy Simpsons quiz then log off because they don’t get what all the fuss is about.
Also the religious zealot
I still get updates of a friend of a friend and all of her posts are like
I feel so blessed that God is sending me to surgery today and Jesus reminded me of his presence through my son’s tears this morning.
Gag.
For the record I do go to church, I’m just don’t happen to be crazy. I don’t over use the word bless and I hate Amy Grant and her repetitive just bad music ilk with a passion.
posted by SB on 7-16-2009 at 8:52 pm
I’m a “pop culture as my status” person. song lyrics, movie quotes, etc.
posted by fanniefarkle on 7-16-2009 at 9:35 pm
You guys cracked me up so much I had to comment. I really don’t get FB. I don’t want to be poked, let alone super-poked. I don’t want to have a Mafia War with you or have you buy me virtual drinks. And please don’t send me any Pretty Pathogens for cripes sake!
John made me laugh out loud when he said “just go to bed already.” I have a friend who ALWAYS closes out the day with something like “I’m dragging myself off FB after 14 hours so I can be up at 5:00 to go to work.” So go already. But please tell me what you found to entertain yourself with for 14 hours!
As for me – I admit to being the Lurker who likes seeing that the old college boyfriend who dumped me for a stripper now has liver spots and he’s only 45!
posted by Paula on 7-16-2009 at 9:55 pm
The only thing worse than the OverPoker is the OverSuperPoker. I swear, you get one, and you’ll get notifications from the application for the next five months. And when you ask them to stop, they send you ANOTHER SuperPoke reading, “Morgan apologized to Hannah”.
People, there are much better things to do than SuperPoke…how about socialize? You know, the actual purpose of the website.
posted by Hannah on 7-17-2009 at 3:04 am
I want to thank all of you for all of the nominiations for president of the “I hate what other people do on Facebook” club/group. I am very honored. Feel free to create the group and as President, I will be happy to ignore it and/or make fun of it with a witty/snarky comment.
One last Facebooker that I despise (actually, its not a particular person, but the post they have) is the person whose status states “This person is……..”. What the heck does that mean? Are we supposed to fill in the blanks for you? The next time I see this, I will make sure to enter the comment “an @$$hole”.
posted by Ian on 7-17-2009 at 8:55 am
@Ian, can I add you as a friend?
posted by Hyacinth on 7-17-2009 at 9:27 am
What about the “I am at/going to the gym” or “Just worked out really hard” friend. So many reasons why it’s annoying.
posted by Suebee on 7-17-2009 at 9:30 am
I agree with Scott Roberts and \The Recruiter\ I don’t want to be a vampire, werewolf, ninja, or be a part of your mafia war, entourage, or drag race wth you…
posted by Rittmu on 7-17-2009 at 10:33 am
This is too funny!
I’ve blogged about my loathing for Overzealous Updaters – although, I referred to it as people being afflicted FISUD: Frequent Inane Status Update Disorder. I’m sorry, but I do not need to know when a person is out of string cheese, enjoying a vanilla-scented candle, or waiting for their BFF to call, all within a fifteen minute period.
I also can’t stand it when people write short stories as their status updates. Keep it short, stupid!
posted by Melodye on 7-17-2009 at 1:25 pm
hey… don’t knock on mafia wars! it’s fun, and you don’t even have to play it if someone invites you, it just makes them stronger to have more people who are “in their mafia”… :( man i feel like a nerd now
posted by katherine on 7-17-2009 at 2:06 pm
i’ve been on facebook for months and still can’t figure what it’s good for.
posted by ee the c on 7-17-2009 at 2:14 pm
Two I hate…
- “The Evangelist”. Every single thing they post is about Jesus and how you should love Jesus and like this status if you love Jesus.
- “The Complainer”. Every single one of their updates is whining. Usually about having to be at work. Everyone else has to work, too. Shut up and make my fries.
posted by Patten on 7-17-2009 at 4:54 pm
I think I would fall into the category of The Slacker; I sign in very infrequently (maybe a few times a month?), never update my status/photo/anything, and very rarely get back to people who write on my wall or send me a message. I mean to, sure, but it just never seems to happen…
posted by Erin S. on 7-17-2009 at 6:28 pm
I’d like to add
y) the stalker- the person who comments everything you do. Possibly a variation of the wannabe.
z) the bad speller- The one who constantly misspells easy words (like using tell instead of till)
and i probably am a two-facer
posted by ufluffed on 7-19-2009 at 1:28 am
Oh, I wish I could “like” the comments on here! Sad.
For the record, I totally agree with whoever mentioned The Evangelist and the “just got back from the gym, DAMN what a workout” people.
Honestly though, I see social networking as next to useless. Our society’s ability to hold a decent face-to-face conversation is disintegrating, and I can’t help but feel that random impersonal contacts on Facebook are facilitating this change.
(I’m 17. I must sound like I’m 60…)
posted by ceembee on 7-19-2009 at 3:56 am
@paula
I will also admit to being a lurker – looking up old boyfriends, schoolmates to see what they are up to (though I never friend them or anything)
;-)
posted by suedoenyhm on 7-19-2009 at 6:00 pm
I didn’t really see what I am up there. I’m hardly on, I go on more to check my mob wars app than my inbox and friend adds… since I get a lot less spam since they’ve stopped requiring the “send to 10 friends to unlock/add”.
posted by Dazee on 7-20-2009 at 6:09 pm
I have a couple more to add:
1. the comedian – the person who tries really hard to make funny and/or pithy comments (but usually makes me roll my eyes)
2. the political fanatics – the people who make FB their forum to vent and lambast their opponents
I’m more interested in keeping up with family and friends, not engaging in political debates. Sorry, but I seriously doubt you’d be able to change someone’s mind on FB. ;)
posted by Teecee on 7-22-2009 at 11:51 pm
What about the Facebook snob? (I can’t really think of a better name for it) This is the person who always rants about “adults” and “highschoolers” on Facebook and complains that it isn’t the same any more. Also they are very nostalgic about having to have a college e-mail address to register on Facebook back in the day. This is me. I will admit it. I don’t really think I fit into any of the other categories.
posted by hodgepodge on 7-24-2009 at 2:37 am
I don’t have FB, but I would be the singer. My status on gmail chat is always a song lyrics. Also, I hate the way people constantly try to convince me to join facebook. At the same time, it’s funny. They basically say “come to this site, it makes it easier to stalk and have no life” Some people on Fb are cool though, Ian seems to get it.
posted by Scott on 7-24-2009 at 10:52 pm
I love this list, it’s very very true and as I read down it I think I have friends that fit into each category.
posted by Holly on 8-2-2009 at 7:01 pm
You forgot one, The Spare-Timer. A person who doesn’t really use facebook that much and only checks messages in their spare time. aka, me.
posted by Carly on 8-10-2009 at 8:15 pm
Oh no, I’m a K, but with the pop culture twist. I like to update in obscure movie/television/book quotes and references.
Can I ever be forgiven?
posted by Kelsey on 8-13-2009 at 11:26 pm
This seemed a little close to your article David…
http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/08/20/annoying.facebook.updaters/index.html
posted by Toast on 8-20-2009 at 11:46 pm
Thank you Ian, great article :) Will share on twitter and facebook. Keep it up **** 5 star from me.
Regards,
Lama Kalla
posted by Lama Kalla on 11-10-2009 at 4:52 pm
it’s not that hard to click on “hide” user in the feed, it removes everything that everyone does – now you’ll only see what you posted, friends responses and messages…
posted by it's not that hard on 11-11-2009 at 1:49 am
I think Ian just needs a hug.
posted by Alex on 11-11-2009 at 3:38 am
If you like this, then you’ll love:
Obnoxious Facebook Habits:
http://ObnoxiousFacebookHabits.com
posted by Matt on 11-11-2009 at 9:14 am
I made one of those “tag your friends” for this…
http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs061.snc3/12842_1176888581180_1197060028_30478254_5830549_n.jpg
posted by Drew on 11-11-2009 at 9:31 am
I’ll say I only read the first three points in your (strike)linkbait(/strike) list, but it seems safe to extrapolate that the entire endeavor is pretty stupid.
There’s a hide feature on Facebook, and you get to be the gatekeeper of who your friends are. So if you have very annoying friends on Facebook, then you’re either stupid or too-easily annoyed.
posted by B Michael on 11-11-2009 at 9:47 am
G) The Two-facer
This is the friend who accepts your friend request just to be polite, but then Hides your updates immediately. Unfortunately, you have no idea who the two-facers are.
If you never know who they are how do you know that they exist / that this is a trend.
posted by Dace on 11-11-2009 at 12:36 pm
it was mentioned in one of the comments: The Gamer! Thats me :D
posted by Kitiwiti on 11-11-2009 at 4:16 pm
How about the friend who constantly updates on how much work they have to do? I have one who is always like “Oh no, I have a 10000 word assignment due in tomorrow, cba, lol”, or “Can’t believe I actually have to read this book”. Yeah, you’re in uni, you actually have some work to do, big surprise, we all do too (and we’re not all doing stupid subject like the psychology you’re doing), stfu and get on with it. Aargh, so annoying.
posted by Emily on 11-11-2009 at 5:20 pm
I suggest adding the Narcissist Fbooker since all they do is post pic of themselves in different views and eventually got a professional photographer to take pictures of themselves afterwards. Most of the albums they create are mostly..well..themselves lol
posted by matt on 11-11-2009 at 9:20 pm
One more king of facebooker:
The voyeur; someone who only observes what is going on, but never posts.
posted by timoe.ron on 11-11-2009 at 10:52 pm
Hyacinth,
you hit it home. The impressor. I have a \friends\ like that.
He always says
\just worked out, feeling sore, can’t believe i did all those pushups\ or my personal favorite that screams for attention and trys to hard to impress… \Finished working out. God my conditioning sucks.\
or \just writing some songs and the recording didn’t come out right\ okay maybe the last one isn’t that bad…wait, no it is…he does it so often i’m deleting him
posted by 1234 FIF on 11-12-2009 at 12:55 am
The happy couple: People who constantly update what he/she is cooking for significant other, what they are doing with the significant other, and explicitly saying over and over through status updates how friggin happy they are together. Who cares.
posted by ashley on 11-12-2009 at 1:53 pm
Similar to the impressor. These people are always talking about philosophers/politics/Ayn Rand/anything that they think most people won’t understand. I don’t care how smart you think you are. I’m also pretty sure that if I went over to Wikipedia, I’d find your exact wording there. Get over yourself.
posted by Tiffany on 11-14-2009 at 12:46 am