Jason English
Not Fooling Anybody: Bizarre Retail Conversions
by Jason English - July 20, 2009 - 1:03 PM

At a stoplight not too far from where I live, you can see an abandoned Circuit City, an empty CompUSA, two closed-down gas stations and a non-descript big box building that went up in 2006 and has yet to have a tenant. I don’t know what will happen to these deserted structures, but I’m glad someone out there is documenting some of the more bizarre transitions.

chiro

Not Fooling Anybody has been chronicling bad retail conversions for years, like this KFC-turned-chiropractor, complete with the big bucket of chicken still flying overhead.

england-piano

Or this former Waffle House, which is now England Piano.

desmoinespolice

And what do you do when your local Pizza Hut shuts down? In Des Moines, the police swooped right in.

kembass

Cross out the ‘Y,’ add a ‘K’ and voila! Embassy Cleaners becomes Kembass Cleaners.

Are there any examples like these in your neighborhood? You can view lots more bad conversions here. Thanks to occasional _flosser Sydney Beveridge for turning me on to Not Fooling Anybody.

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Comments (52)

  1. I live down the street from that former Pizza Hut/police station in Des Moines. It’s now a great BBQ joint and looks a lot better, I promise!

    posted by Evan Favreau on 7-20-2009 at 1:18 pm

  2. I think “England Piano” did a fine job with the former Waffle House — I dig the piano keyboard mod…

    posted by PJ on 7-20-2009 at 1:32 pm

  3. I wish I had photo evidence, but in my hometown of Wilmington, DE, Rally’s Hamburgers became Nally’s used cars. Allegedly Mike Nally was the proprietor, which either makes him a fibber or the luckiest man ever to have this establishment land in his lap.

    posted by Curtis on 7-20-2009 at 1:50 pm

  4. In Lafayette, LA, we have a Sonic turned Insurance Agency, and a KFC turned Z-Best Cars dealership. Both are good fits for this list. I don’t think the Insurance Agency even took down the Sonic roof neons!

    posted by Jonny Hammersticks on 7-20-2009 at 1:50 pm

  5. In my hometown a local Friendly’s closed down and became a 7-11. One gag joint replacing another.

    posted by Bubba on 7-20-2009 at 1:58 pm

  6. In Schaumburg, Illinois, a Joe’s Crab Shack has become Moe’s Crab Shack.

    posted by Steven on 7-20-2009 at 2:04 pm

  7. Down the street from my work, there is an old KFC that turned into a chinese food restraunt. It looks exactly the same and they use the drive through too. Best part, its called the Golden Unicorn. Really good food too.

    posted by Cassandra on 7-20-2009 at 2:07 pm

  8. In my hometown, a used car dealer bought an old Taco Bell property (back when the buildings incorporated the trademark bell in the old Spanish mission facade on the roof). They didn’t improve upon the old structure at all; the bell is even still there.

    posted by Corbet on 7-20-2009 at 2:08 pm

  9. I didn’t even notice for the first year I lived in my current town that there’s a church that used to be a Pizza Hut. I passed it who knows how many times on my way to the grocery before my boyfriend pointed it out one day. I guess the new tin roof and ivory vinyl siding can’t fool everyone ;)

    posted by Eve on 7-20-2009 at 2:21 pm

  10. In Salt lake there is a Sandwich shop that used to be an icecream shop complete with a rotating double scoop ice cream cone on the sign now it has been painted black but now it just looks like a rotting ice cream cone.

    posted by Suze on 7-20-2009 at 2:31 pm

  11. Several years ago (it’s been several restaurants since then) there was a Duff’s Smorgasbord. Then one day it changed to ffuD’s Smorgasbord.

    posted by Sue on 7-20-2009 at 2:41 pm

  12. There’s a local favorite live music venue in my neighborhood of Washington, DC – the Grog and Tankard – that closed about six months ago and was re-opened as a recent-college-grad hangout called the Gin and Tonic (so as to keep the “G&T” emblems around the building). What’s worse than gentrification? Gentrification done on the (obviously) cheap.

    posted by Nora on 7-20-2009 at 2:52 pm

  13. There’s a used car lot in Chattanooga, TN that used to be an Amoco station. They even had a tiny car in the part of the rotating sign that had been the torch. There’s also a former McDonald’s that’s been just about everything else (including Kinko’s) but still looks like McDonald’s.

    I’m a big fan of that site, and I’d never heard of it.

    Recaptcha: formerly argument-loaded

    posted by Dave on 7-20-2009 at 2:53 pm

  14. I don’t know if this is still the case or not, but for a while, Yakima Washington’s morgue was an ex-Pizza Hut. My brother and I had a joke – at least they were using the freezers for something!

    posted by Rose on 7-20-2009 at 2:54 pm

  15. There is a check cashing place in Akron that used to be a Wendy’s, and a Mexican restaurant that used to be a Hardee’s. The Mexican place is really good!

    posted by Jamie on 7-20-2009 at 3:27 pm

  16. There is an old Taco Bell-turned-Thai restaurant in my hometown of Florissant, MO. It’s pretty much the only Thai place in town, yet retains the stucco exterior and arched windows more closely associated with the quasi-Mexican fast food.

    posted by KL on 7-20-2009 at 4:08 pm

  17. I went to Loyola University Chicago and until a couple of years ago our Fine Arts complex was located in an old IHOP building.

    posted by Jenna on 7-20-2009 at 4:35 pm

  18. Also in Akron Ohio are many old Lawson’s buildings changed into other businesses, but still retaining the original building shape, coloring, etc. One is a pizza shop in Lakemore, one is an antique shop in Hartville.

    posted by Kelly on 7-20-2009 at 4:40 pm

  19. In Atlanta there’s a Starbucks inside an old bank. You can tell it was a bank; it still looks like one. They even use the drive-thru lane to take orders. In my own town, there’s a used car lot where there used to be a Pizza Hut, and the office still looks like a Pizza Hut, like the picture above. ALSO in my own town is a Sherwin-Williams paint store in what used to be a Pizza Hut.

    posted by Craig on 7-20-2009 at 4:49 pm

  20. A local hot dog and burger joint called the “Hot Grill” has an unmistakeable Pizza Hut building and roof. However, no one remembers a Pizza Hut ever being there. Hmmm…

    posted by chris on 7-20-2009 at 5:02 pm

  21. There was a Burger King in Revere,MA that is now a restaurant called “Sealand Seafood & Steak”.

    posted by Laura on 7-20-2009 at 5:08 pm

  22. Here in Orlando, the Pizza Hut shut down several years back and turned into a Moe’s Southwest Grill. They basically slapped a coat of yellow paint onto the red roof. Moe’s went out of business and the building sat vacant for a little over a year or so, and now it’s Brick & Fire Pizza & Wine Co. (who relocated from their downtown location). The interior of the building still is very reminiscent of Pizza Hut though!

    posted by sarah on 7-20-2009 at 5:10 pm

  23. In the Twin Cities we have a Hardee’s turned used car lot and a Dairy Queen turned insurance office, complete with the round concrete tables and benches still outside.

    posted by eric! on 7-20-2009 at 5:27 pm

  24. A White Castle in Verona, NJ, turned into a pizza place. It’s still shaped like a white castle.

    posted by Liz on 7-20-2009 at 6:32 pm

  25. There is a funeral home in my town that used to be a Red Lobster. I don’t think it’s nearly as abvious as some of these, but now that I know about that site, I’ll have to double check and maybe take a picture!

    posted by Jennifer on 7-20-2009 at 6:44 pm

  26. There used to be a small store near my grandfather’s that United Airlines employees could go to fill out paperwork and such. Now it’s a United Nail Salon. same lettering in the sign and everything. First time I drove past it, I had to do a double take.

    posted by Casey on 7-20-2009 at 6:55 pm

  27. Here in Wichita we’ve got a movie multiplex that’s been turned into a church. It looks exactly the same, except instead of posting which movies are currently playing, they post the hours services are held. I still drive by and, forgetting the change, think “’5:30 Children’s Mass.’ I’ve never heard of that movie!”

    posted by loripop on 7-20-2009 at 7:10 pm

  28. Here in Baltimore, at the corner of Old Harford and Putty Hill, we have a former gas station turned beer and wine store. It was renamed “The Liquor Pump.”

    posted by plantlady on 7-20-2009 at 7:18 pm

  29. Wow.. I live in the same town as the first picture (Chiropractor/KFC). It always makes me laugh every time I see the building.

    posted by Avery on 7-20-2009 at 7:20 pm

  30. in warren, mi there is a mcdonald’s turned into a beauty school.

    posted by kat on 7-20-2009 at 7:28 pm

  31. in suburban St Louis there is a mega church housed in an old car dealership. Pretty comical looking.

    posted by Kyle on 7-20-2009 at 7:42 pm

  32. In my area there is an old Pioneer chicken that is a Chinese restaurant. It has an odd shaped sign that if you look closely it has the outline of the covered wagon that Pioneer used to use. Also there is a Rico’s pizza that changed to a Ciro’s pizza so they didn’t have to buy new lettering for their sign.

    posted by Steve M on 7-20-2009 at 8:01 pm

  33. In my home, here in Edmonton Alberta Canada, I drive past an old Taco Bell that has been turned into a Goodwill donation center. Kinda funny actually.

    posted by CaitlinB on 7-20-2009 at 8:21 pm

  34. There’s a supermarket chain in SoCal called “Vons.” You can always tell when a independant grocery store has inhabited a former Vons store, because they’re always named “Dons,” “Rons,” or “Jons.” Someone should put an arcaheological supply store in one of those locations. They could call it “Eons.”

    posted by Joe Maz on 7-20-2009 at 9:03 pm

  35. In suburban Cleveland, there’s an old Golden Corral buffet restaurant that turned into a funeral home. I suppose it’s only fitting; after eating too much Golden Corral, you’ll need an undertaker.

    posted by Evan3000 on 7-20-2009 at 9:34 pm

  36. In Mukilteo, WA there’s a Chinese restaraunt that was formerly a local bank. Good place to eat, though.

    posted by Stephanie on 7-20-2009 at 9:58 pm

  37. I live down the street from a Vietnamese restaurant that’s in an old Pizza Hut building, they’ve never bothered to repaint it.

    posted by dooflotchie on 7-20-2009 at 10:25 pm

  38. Superior, WI has a Wendy’s turned into a bar, and they still use the drive through (for the liquor store part)

    posted by Crystal on 7-20-2009 at 10:35 pm

  39. Here in San Antonio–and most likely throughout Texas–there are a ton of old Whataburgers changed into various things–used car lots & Mexican restaurants seem to be the most popular. The old buildings have a very distinctive A-frame style, with a roof that comes down almost to the ground, formerly orange and white striped (usually still striped, but in different colors) and a long carhop area out front.

    There’s also a Starbucks near me that used to be a Burger King. The old business is still pretty obvious.

    My favorite as far as names go, though, is the Olmos Bharmacy, which used to be the Olmos Pharmacy (in the suburb of Olmos Park). The little curve that changes the P into a B is only visible during the day, as it’s not neon like the rest of the sign, & from what I gather they’ve kept the interior much the same.

    posted by Sabra on 7-20-2009 at 10:42 pm

  40. Here in Fort Wayne, Indiana, we have a Starbucks made out of an old Firestone Tire store. They even kept the drive-in bays as quasi-outdoor seating.

    posted by Ganzygrl on 7-21-2009 at 11:14 am

  41. @ Sabra: What’s a bharmacy? I also have to wonder if the Whataburgers were IHOPs before that, since that is the same style building as the REALLY old IHOPs.

    In Asheville, NC, Rio Burrito was sold and renamed BRio Burrito–yeah, the cheap bastard only bought a neon B to add to the existing sinage.

    In Allentown, PA, there is a 7-11 where another cheap (and uncreative) bastard didn’t feel like paying the franchise fee anymore and renamed his store 7-10.

    posted by Wayne on 7-21-2009 at 11:20 am

  42. I saw a Hardees coin laundry this previous weekend. I had a good laugh. They had ripped the sign out, but you could still see the star shape, and they made no attempt at re-painting the building.

    posted by KaeleaMajere on 7-21-2009 at 1:13 pm

  43. On Route 3 West in Little Falls, NJ there is an AT&T store that opened in a closed down iHop. Blue roof and everything. I can’t help thinking International House of Cell Phones.

    posted by Gary on 7-21-2009 at 1:18 pm

  44. We have local convienence stores called Wawa in my area (and they are awesome!). But whenever one closes it usually becomes an independent convienence store. One of these stores changed their name to VaVa. Wawa sued them and won, so they had to change their name again!

    posted by Mavis on 7-21-2009 at 2:02 pm

  45. Here in NYC, there’s a bar/music venue called Pianos. It used to be a Piano dealership. The new owners never bothered to replace the sign out front.

    posted by erak on 7-21-2009 at 2:43 pm

  46. In Calgary we had an old GUN shop that turned into UNG video. I don’t think it is cheap, I think it is recycling.

    posted by Sylvia on 7-22-2009 at 12:58 pm

  47. Sabra might know this place too, it down the street from the starbucks/burger king. there is a restaraunt that looks like a big sombraro, which worked for Mexican food but when it was a Thia place, it was kind of odd
    Also in San Marcos we have a once bank that now is a grill, Steve McQueen played in a movie shot at that bank

    posted by lindseyu on 7-22-2009 at 4:05 pm

  48. Downey CA. The old Big Boy Burger place was a used car dealer last time I checked. The Big Boy was still out front too.

    posted by DevonMagocsi on 7-26-2009 at 7:23 pm

  49. In Garland, TX there is a former Red Lobster converted to a funeral home. Folks call it the Dead Lobster

    posted by Taxes Jim on 7-26-2009 at 10:59 pm

  50. In East Hartford, CT there’s an old IHOP that was converted into a casket showroom and is now a beauty parlor.

    posted by jeff on 7-27-2009 at 12:27 pm

  51. OMG I Drive by that Chiropractic place all the time! After the KFC it was a Beauty Supply for a little while. But nothing makes my back better like old chicken grease!!

    posted by Nick on 7-27-2009 at 10:03 pm

  52. Baltimore, MD – Corner of BelAir Rd and Fullerton Rd, there was a Taco Bell that is now a Chinese Restraunt. Honestly, you really can’t tell it was a T-Bell, unless you have lived there for 30 years (like I have).

    posted by Ian on 7-28-2009 at 12:06 pm

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