Jason English
The Onion on Classmates.com
by Jason English - August 5, 2009 - 12:20 PM

classmates-onion

The Onion published this fantastic story back in May, but I’m re-posting it today in honor of the 3,245th spam email I’ve received from Classmates.com this year (“Who left 1 signature in your guestbook?” is not enough to make me click. There is no guestbook! Stop harassing me!)

The Onion: Classmates.com Employees Don’t Have Heart To Tell CEO About Facebook

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Comments (9)

  1. What I love is when classmates.com puts something like “remember George Brown from [my high school]‘s class of 2000?” in the subject of the spam e-mail. No, I don’t remember George Brown, because there was no George Brown, so I’m not going to rush over to your site and look him up. HE DOESN’T EXIST.

    posted by Jenn on 8-5-2009 at 12:25 pm

  2. But, George Brown is looking for you!!!!
    HA!

    posted by Hyacinth on 8-5-2009 at 12:29 pm

  3. I recently got dinged by classmates due to an old account, on a credit card I had suspended until recently, all because I failed to disable auto billing every two years. Yeah, I’m still fighting it, but they are desperate now that fb is doing what they do for free.

    posted by Johnny Cat on 8-5-2009 at 12:57 pm

  4. “Did you know that your token geeky hippie knitting blankets for her church group girl married your all-popular jock stud Zack Morris looking character in YOUR class and had 400 babies?!?!”

    posted by Steven on 8-5-2009 at 1:29 pm

  5. I get those emails 2 or 3 times a week too. What a joke. Keep it up Classmates.com. You guys might break through soon!

    posted by Ian on 8-5-2009 at 3:56 pm

  6. Classic Onion material!

    posted by Ranger J on 8-5-2009 at 3:59 pm

  7. “Biff Newburg is looking for you.” Why? Does he want to give me an atomic wedgie for old times’ sake?

    I couldn’t get away from high school fast enough, never entertained the thought of attending a reunion, and when I have to remember the name of my high school for a job application or whatnot, I sometimes really have to stop and think until I remember it. Classmates.com would have to start sending me large checks before I could feign mild curiosity, much less go looking for those people.

    posted by Rusty on 8-5-2009 at 6:48 pm

  8. My favorite is reunion.com, they’re constantly sending me spam in my married name saying people want to re-unite with me. At least classbook does it by maiden name

    posted by Lorelei on 8-5-2009 at 8:58 pm

  9. classbook? Sorry, just woke up and my brain is still sleeping

    posted by Lorelei on 8-5-2009 at 8:59 pm

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