Comments (77)

1. I had the honor of sitting next to an inebriated passenger when I was 14. I was traveling alone from Florida to Philly. She lived in NYC and me living with my parents in Philly didn’t stop here from offering me a job. She wanted me to bicycle around Manhattan putting flyers in store windows. When I asked where I would live, she told me, “You can crash on my couch!”

   Alex Trebek should post on Mentalfloss – he’s the man with the answers!

   I can’t wait for How I met your Mother comes back. I know we’re not going to find out until the show’s been cancelled, but it’s so hilarous, I don’t mind being strung along…

   posted by Matt on 8-7-2009 at 8:44 am

2. This past Christmas I was scheduled to fly into Vermont to visit family. I had three missed flights from Minneapolis due to the snow. I was finally able to fly east, not into Burlington, VT, but rather into Manchester, NH. Once in Manchester I found that I had none of my luggage. Also the snowstorm was preventing my family from coming to pick me up at the airport and there were no taxis or buses running that night. I was able to get together with five or six other passengers to hire a limo driver (driving a van?) and we were able to make it to a more favorable location. Once home I had no toothbrush, clothes, etc. My luggage came 4 days later. (Oh no winter clothes either)

   posted by TJohn on 8-7-2009 at 8:45 am

3. My mom sat next to a guy on a flight that kept complaining about the new CEO of his company (he was a sales guy) that was running the place into the ground, being a total jerk, and basically making everyone’s life miserable. She intently listened and nodded sympathetically. After the flight, near the baggage claim, she introduced herself as the wife of the CEO. The man was understandaby red faced.

   posted by Anthony on 8-7-2009 at 8:49 am

4. 1 — I once sat next to a guy who vomited twice before takeoff. All over the seat in front of him (and all over himself). Thankfully he passed out for the whole flight.

   2 — I think Howard Stern needs to give up the ‘King of All Media’ title now that he’s on satellite radio. Who deserves the crown next? Ryan Seacrest?

   3 — Ryan Seacrest! (Just kidding. What about Wil Wheaton? I think he has a book coming out. Maybe he’d do it for the publicity.

   4 — The Office

   posted by Allen on 8-7-2009 at 9:03 am

5. 1. I had a woman across the aisle from me reading her bible before takeoff. The problem was, she was reading aloud. Granted, she kept it at a mumble or whisper most of the time, until the plane made that initial jerk backwards as it started moving away from the gate. At that point, she was no longer whispering, but mumbling/talking her words. The plane made its way around the tarmac and prepped for takeoff. She was talking out every sentence in that book at this point. The plane started rumbling, pressing forward with all its might as it sped towards the end of the pavement. This lady is now nervously reciting scriptures with a raised voice almost to the point of yelling, with one hand clenched to the top of her bible and the other one up high grazing the overhead compartment. As the plane raises its nose and lifts its wheels off of the earth, she is now YELLING whatever parts she has memorized because her eyes are SEALED shut and her hands are bracing the bible as if she was giving it the heimlich maneuver. Later in the sky, the belt icon light turns off, and things calm down. I don’t know why, but i asked her if everything was ok. She said it was her first flight and she was by herself. She was going to see her granddaughter. The landing was better because she fell asleep, and woke up as we touched down.

   2. NetScape, oh wait…
   Seriously, I’m growing tired of hearing “Tha Gohvanator.”

   3. Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the host of NOVA. He’s appeared on the Colbert Report on numerous occasions, and is always a pleasant interview. His show is one of those ones that i don’t necessarily think about, but if i’m flipping through channels, i’ll stop if it’s on.

   4. I’m a Heroes and House fanatic. On a side note, i’ve been told i look like a young Hugh Laurie. I don’t know how to take that, haha.

   posted by Steven on 8-7-2009 at 9:07 am

6. I was lucky enough to sit next to a woman who told me I should have a different girl for everyday of the week. She said that if I was honest about it to my girlfriend, she would understand and be ok with it.

   posted by zac on 8-7-2009 at 9:13 am

7. 1. On a flight from Newark to Hawaii, my wife and I were fortunate enough to be seated next to a woman (in the aisle seat) who brought an oversized duffel bag full of magazines. As soon as we took off, she pulled the bag down and put a stack of magazines on her lap. She began quickly paging through, tearing out pages at random and placing them back in the bag. When the attendants came by with drinks, she put the stack on top of the cart and said “Please take these. Come back. I’ll have more. And a cranberry juice, no ice and cup of ice.” The magazine-ripping continued throughout the flight. We had no interaction, though, at one point, she leaned over to my wife (who was listening to her iPod) and told her to turn the music down because she could HEAR it and that was just unacceptable. My wife’s response: “No, I’m fine, thanks.” The magazine ripping kept going. When my wife got up to go to the bathroom, I asked her “What are you doing?” to which she replied, “I’m reading.”

   2. “King of all Media” for Stern. He’s barely royalty in any medium at this point.

   3. Joel McHale. I just think he’d fit… (Thumbs up to the Trebek suggestion as well)

   4. Lost and the Office… and I’m looking forward to seeing Flash Forward.

   (Recaptcha: British cuter. I don’t believe so, but I’ll look for pics to prove that one!)

   posted by Josh on 8-7-2009 at 9:18 am

8. 4) LOST…. though, I’m also sad… seeing that this is the FINAL season! ;-O

   I hope I am going to end up being more satisfied than I was with the Harry Potter series’ ending (guess you know what I hoped would happen!)

   BTW… I love my ReCaptacha… ‘shearman Aldo’.

   IThis must be a ‘Tarantino’ fan?! – “My name is Lt. Aldo Raine…Each and every man under my command owns me one hundred Nazi scalps… and I want my scalps!”

   posted by Anon Emous on 8-7-2009 at 9:21 am

9. 1. I was on a flight home from Hawaii once, and I specifically opted to sit in the empty back row seats even though they didn’t recline, because they were empty.

   But then some guy came back and took the other seat, which was still marginally okay, because there was an empty seat between us.

   But then his girlfriend came back and sat with him, which was not okay, because now I had a cramped seat that wouldn’t recline and someone next to me.

   Then they decided to join the mile high club.

   3. Alex Trebek seems like the logical choice, as others have said.

   4. Mad Men and Dexter.

   posted by Jacquilynne on 8-7-2009 at 9:31 am

10. 1 – I haven’t done much flying, but on a train ride from Ottawa to Halifax a few years ago, I was stuck beside an old man who got on in Montreal and got off in Moncton (about 18 hours of the 24 hour trip). He coughed, he sputtered, he swore at me, he told me that terrorists were going to ‘hit us next’ and that the air conditioning was blowing dust in his face. Racist remarks, rude remarks, more coughing and sputtering…he wouldn’t even give it a rest when I put headphones on and tried to get to sleep at 1am! When he finally got off the car in Moncton, nearly everyone in the car clapped and breathed a collective sigh of relief.

    3 – I’m going to have to agree with the votes for Alex Trebek. He’s so dreamy…

    4 – I’m never around enough during the week to get really “in” to shows, save for Friday nights (yep, my laundry night is Friday night. Life of a single gal in the big city!) I don’t know if anyone’s seen the ridiculous show “ManTracker”, but I’m pretty big on it. He, too, is so dreamy…

    I need to get out more.

    posted by Jenny on 8-7-2009 at 9:36 am

11. 1. I’ve been relatively lucky I think, my worst was a pair of very loud Spanish tourists who watched the Edith Piaf bio-pic during the flight. I know this because they sang along, out of tune at top volume. They seemed very happy though!

    2. Being British in America is most odd when the TV adverts for the Superbowl start up. Mainly the ones which use the phrase “The World’s Most Popular Sporting Event” without a whiff of irony, despite the fact only America competes in it.

    3. Stephen Fry would be a spectacular guest editor for Mental Floss. I really wish BBC America would screen “QI” over here, because it’s so funny and intelligent.

    4. I am very excited about “Dr Who” (Although I would be more excited it David Tennant were staying on for it)”Lie to Me”, “Dollhouse”, “Dexter” and “Castle”. That last one is mainly because if any man deserves a second season of a show it’s Nathan Fillion.

    posted by Jen - The Alien Spouse on 8-7-2009 at 9:54 am

12. 3. Ben Stein would be a good choice. I remember his show, Ben Steins Money, where he would take on the winner head to head. Alex Trebek is undoubtedly smart but he has never played the game.

    4.Between cheap “reality” shows, unfunny comedies and Big Brothers gonna get you police shows, I’ll stick to the weather channel thanks.

    posted by Mike on 8-7-2009 at 9:57 am

13. 1) On our way home from Christmas in Roswell, NM, my husband and I sat in front of a man and young woman — complete strangers — who proceeded to talk about UFO sightings and aliens. Not just the topic, but the woman, a Roswell native, shared her stories of seeing strange lights, hearing noises, etc. and the man was eating it up. It even got into alien abduction territory, and my husband and I had to put our iPods on to keep from laughing too loudly.

    3) Could you get the Mythbusters? That’d be cool.

    4) Lost, Chuck, Dollhouse and How I Met Your Mother.

    posted by Tracie on 8-7-2009 at 9:57 am

14. 4.) MAD MEN!!! I’ve been missing Don Draper and the rest of the “Sterling Cooper” clan.

    posted by tambalina on 8-7-2009 at 10:01 am

15. Flying from Hong Kong to Minneapolis on sept 13th 2001, a jam packed 747 and since it was right after 9/11 people were understandably nervous. 3 people on that flight had to be given drugs to calm them down. It was a 14 hr flight and we had about 14 nervous breakdowns. I couldn’t sleep which was great because the movies on the flight were, Angel Eyes, Beethoven’s 4th, some other crap film and Shrek. Memorable, yes. Annoyingly long flight, yes.

    posted by Franko on 8-7-2009 at 10:04 am

16. 1. When I was a young teenager, my family was coming back from a trip and I got seated in a different row on the plane. The man next to me waited until the seat belt light went off, put the tray down and drummed on it for the entire trip. He didn’t take any food or drinks, didn’t say anything to flight attendants, just pounded on the tray for four hours. I was terrified.

    3. I was totally on the Trebek bandwagon, until Jen mentioned Stephen Fry. He is hilarious and brilliant.

    4. And one more vote for Mad Men!

    posted by Suzie on 8-7-2009 at 10:09 am

17. My worst wasn’t regarding another passenger. When I was ten, I was on a family vacation to Hawaii. We were on an island hopper prop plane from Honolulu to Kauai. The weather was horrible, completely socked in and the pilot couldn’t see and informed us that he didn’t have enough gas to turn around. Then he saw a hole in the clouds, gave us a warning to prepare for a water landing, and nose dived through the clouds. Turns out he was an old Vietnam pilot and quite good. We made it on the end of the runway, with the front wheel on the sand.

    posted by Brandy on 8-7-2009 at 10:12 am

18. 1) I sat in the middle seat of the middle aisle last March, returning to Texas from San Francisco. The plane was full; not one empty seat available. The girl sitting next to me seemed ill at ease; covering her mouth and clearing her throat for the first hour or the trip. I tried to fall asleep as I was beginning to feel slightly cramped. At some point I noticed her get up and head towards a bathroom. She did not return a very long time, maybe close to an hour. My eyes were closed when she did return, and the first thing that hit me was the smell. It was sh*t. Literally. And SO potent. The poor woman must have been so sick that she sh*t herself. I don’t know if she had to wait for a restroom to open just could not hold it anymore, but there was no denying it was on her clothing still. To make matters worse, as she sat there she quietly sobbed to herself. I wanted to tell her it was ok, that I understood she was sick and the circumstances were bad (she had not carried on any baggage). But, I also did not want to breathe in any more of her fecal perfume.

    2) This is not a person’s nickname… but, Austin, Texas needs to retire the slogan “The Live Music Capitol of the World” until it can live up to the name. Sure would be nice for the “Live Music Capitol of the World” to treat it’s local musicians better. And, yes, I live in Austin.

    3) I second, third, and fourth Alex Trebek!

    4) LOST and Breaking Bad.

    posted by Renis on 8-7-2009 at 10:28 am

19. 1) I work for a domestic abuse/ SA shelter and we, for obvious reasons, keep our stories out of the public. I was sitting across the asile from a woman that previously worked there and she didn’t know who I was (I was there after she was FIRED). She started spilling stories about the shelter. I had to introduce myself and shut her down.

    2)Can we retire first-name blends for couples. I hate “Bragelina” and “Spedi” and all other such blends.

    3)Ben Stein would be beyond fantastic. A very versed and supremely intelligent guy with a superbly diverse working history.

    4)I miss The Office and 30 Rock.

    reCaptcha – “Attendance Snoop”. Haven’t certain hospital staff been arrested for that recently?

    posted by Amy on 8-7-2009 at 10:29 am

20. My dad was flying Southwest back in the 80′s when the seats all faced eachother. A man in a very tailored suit sat next to him, and a mother and her baby across from them. The baby screamed and screamed (poor kid). The flight attendant brought crackers and juice, which calmed it for a moment, until it turned to face the Suited Man, and projectile vomited all over him. Totally missed my dad and everything else, but the man got covered.

    posted by Helenann on 8-7-2009 at 10:34 am

21. Oh…don’t know about what nickname needs to be retired, but what about Kelsey Grammer for host? He’s very polite, funny and a good sport. I am looking forward to Law and Order. I know, I know it’s an oldy, but Linus Roache, Jeremy Sisto and Sam Waterston just make any evening nice. :)

    posted by Helenann on 8-7-2009 at 10:37 am

22. i fly quite a bit and have been pretty lucky with the airline passenger experience…until my most recent flight. this couple boarded the plane with the woman’s sister, father, mother, and the couple’s eight or so children in tow. somehow, they ended up being split up and assigned seats at the front and back of the plane, which was a debacle in itself. we were already delayed and at least half the plane had connections to make in atlanta, so the flight attendant came over the intercom numerous times to tell the family to be seated for takeoff. unfortunately, they didn’t speak english very well so they had issues communicating their problems to the attendants. they were finally seated and we took off, and i was surprised as to how quiet all these kids were. then, midflight, one of the kids (who had to be about three), started running full speed up and down the aisle. this continued for a good half hour, until the kid found me. he started trying to climb up on my lap while staring at me and repeating “mama” a hundred times. finally, about fifteen minutes later, someone noticed and grabbed him. all the passengers around me were just as irritated as me, but luckily most of thhe connecting flights were delayed so we ended up making it. some people should just not reproduce…haha.

    posted by katie on 8-7-2009 at 10:41 am

23. 1. When I fly, I drink. I hate flying, so I think I’m the guy that somebody is going to tell a story about.

    2. Let’s get rid of every day being “National what-the-hell-ever day”. Do we really need an Ice Cream day? Can’t we just like Ice creams?

    3. Ben Stein, Trebek, and Neil Tyson were all great suggestions…but what about a little Colbert one upping, and inviting Jon Stewart out for the week?

    4. I watch PBS…just looking forward to pledge week being over.

    posted by JoJoDancer on 8-7-2009 at 10:43 am

24. On a 6 hour flight I was comfortably settled in my aisle seat when the woman behind me taps me on the shoulder and asks if I would be willing to trade seats with her 10 year old son in the middle seat 1 row ahead of me – happily reading. I politely decline, as the aisle seat on a 6 hour flight is important to me and more importantly I notice that both she and her husband are both in aisle seats next to each other. One of them could quite easily switch with their son and he would not be alone. She is VERY displeased and starts talking about how awful I am. I slip on my Ipod and ignore her. She does not like this.

    Later in the flight, I get up to go to the bathroom. Her son is in the aisle chatting with his parents, I politely sneak by, and as I do, she points at me and says very loudly “Look son, it’s the nice lady who wouldn’t give you her seat.” I smile, as I just can’t help it. She does not like this either. I come back to my seat, to the death glare of this woman and really start to wonder, why in the world will she not give her son her seat and let him sit with his dad or visa versa?

    Then it all becomes clear. As we come in to land, she starts to cry. Softly at first…then it builds, until she is uncontrollably sobbing, unable to breath, completely hysterical. Her husband sits quietly, holding her hand looking totally bored. We land and she calms down and explains to the terrified people around her that this always happens. And I am pleased. Cause I am just a little evil.

    posted by Katie on 8-7-2009 at 10:47 am

25. 4. The Office and 30 Rock! And Football…

    posted by Mill on 8-7-2009 at 11:25 am

26. No real plane storys to tell other than the last time I fly was from Paris to Philadelphia. While we were boarding the plane i noticed a 400 pound man coming towards me and the empty seat next to me. Thank god he sat down a couple of rows ahead of me. You should have seen the face of the person that then came down the aisle and had to squeeze in next to him in a middle seat. Not happy to say the least.

    Can we please get rid of the words “WORLD FAMOUS” next to the fries, etc at every corner diner and/or hot dog stand. Something telss me that the citizens of say Peru or Mongolia have never tried your fries so they couldn’t be “world famous”

    I’m looking forward to Chuck and Lost. I love Chuck and was so happy that it was renewed.

    posted by Bill on 8-7-2009 at 11:26 am

27. 1. Flying back from a job interview I was sat within a group of men that had spent the weekend playing golf and gambling at the casinos in Tunica, MS. They were definitely in the party mood. I was the only female in the whole back of the plane and in my mid-20′s. I started talking to them about my trip, job interview, etc. To celebrate, they bought me Jack and Coke’s for the reminder of the flight. I got off the plane not even before noon and was already smashed. Thank God I had a friend picking me up from the airport! It was the best time I’ve ever had on a flight!

    posted by Memphis on 8-7-2009 at 11:35 am

28. My husband and I were trapped in a time-warp flying from Dallas to Honolulu with two flatulent hillbillies. The worst part is that we saw it coming when they boarded the plane. They were both carrying enormous quantities of food in bags that had become translucent from grease. They sat behind us and proceeded to let loose the entire flight. And by that, I mean the ENTIRE flight. Thankfully, I had grabbed a magazine with perfume inserts. We rubbed those under our noses for the duration.

    posted by Claire on 8-7-2009 at 11:48 am

29. Flying from San Juan PR to Hartford, they pre-board me into my window seat because the guy in the aisle seat of my row is old and not very mobile. 30 minutes later, the middle seat is still empty, and I’m thinking I have it made until the last guy to get on the plane heads for the middle seat. He’s already loaded, my nose tells me from 5 feet away, and the rest of him smells bad as well. And he’s a talkative drunk. And he decides I’m the one he’s going to talk to (and not about anything interesting, or anything I can even feign interest in). This goes on for another 45 minutes until mercifully the movie starts and he puts on his headphones and finally shuts his mouth.

    An hour into the movie, just short of halfway to Hartford, I am looking out the window and noticing that we’re making a very gradual left turn. Not good. Captain comes on, tells us someone in the back of the plane is ill, and we have to fly to the nearest airport to get him off. Unfortunately, the nearest airport is, you guessed it, San Juan PR. So we fly all the way back there, land, and after 15 minutes of fiddling, the guy is taken from the plane.

    That’s when we should start taking off, right? Wrong. Now the flight crew needs to be replaced. Too many hours in a row in a plane isn’t allowed, you see. For flight crew.

    Finally we take off, fly the four hours to Hartford, and get off. I spent 10 hours in that row, without once getting up, next to a liquored-up, smelly compulsive talker. I figure I’m still owed one of those Seinfeld-like first class experiences to make up for it… or at least a lifetime of empty middle seats…

    posted by Greg on 8-7-2009 at 11:51 am

30. The summer after 9/11 I was flying to Europe for the summer. We board the plane and it is almost 100% muslim. We were flying Kuwaiti air. I am talking full burka, etc. It happened to be THE best flight I have ever been on. The service was beyond amazing, the few folks I talked with were wonderful. The flight attendants chatted with us cheerfully more than was necessary. I loved it and wish I could fly Kuwaiti air everyday. It also was great to smash through any stereotypes I had of muslims.

    posted by Ted on 8-7-2009 at 12:09 pm

31. Flew from Seattle to Honolulu on a large 767. At Honolulu we board on a much smaller plane to transfer to Kauai. I’m on the side of the plane where we can watch the baggage get loaded on. We are travelling with 2.5 year old twins so we have lots of stuff – including the very important car seats. I’m watching our bags get on – one of our car seats get loaded on, but then they stop loading any more bags. Apparently they were running tight on a schedule and they actually will stop loading bags to keep on schedule. So with great despair I watch as they stop the baggage loading process and drive off the cart with lots of bags for our flight – including the one car seat. Now if you have 2 kids and only one car seat, you might as well just have no car seats!
    To make a long story short, after waiting and hour and a half once we landed in Kauai, the 2nd car seat finally came – but that was so uncool (in the already hot and muggy Kauai airport) by the unmentioned airline…

    posted by RobertSeattle on 8-7-2009 at 12:15 pm

32. 3) Ben Bailey–host of Cash Cab–would be awesome. This website alone could easily score me some moo-lah.

    4) Lost. the end

    posted by Jess on 8-7-2009 at 12:16 pm

33. 1- My worst flying experiance happened in the last couple months, and all to do with airlines, not passengers. On a flight to my cousin’s wedding in Wisconsin, I got on a commuter plane at O’Hare. We waited at the gate an extra 10 minutes for a passenger who never showed. Before we could taxi to the tarmac a storm came up and because we had had to walk outside to board, they wouldn’t allow us off the plane while there was still lightning. Then, about an hour and a half later, as the weather began to clear, they allowed us to taxi to the tarmac. We were next in line when it began to hail. Apparently there was a tornado in the area. We sat on that plane for over 4 hours (it was a 25 minute flight) only to be sent back to the terminal. Due to the weather, there was only one other flight headed out to this tiny airport. I, luckily, got boooked on it. Other passengers had decided to band together and rent a car for the 6 hour drive. I made it up to my desitination, but at this point, the rehersal dinner had already started and there was no one who could pick me up at the airport (an hour and a half away from the site). There were only 2 car rental places open, one didn’t take debit cards and the other didn’t have a car to give me. Finally, someone else coming in canceled their car, so I actually made it for dessert. Next time someone decides to have a destination wedding, it better be in like…Jamaica. Never doing Wisconsin again.

    3- Alex Trebeck for me too, or Jon Stewart. Deffinately not Ben Stein, I hear he’s kind of a douche anyway.

    4- LOST, Dexter, Dr.Who, The Office :)

    posted by melly on 8-7-2009 at 12:22 pm

34. @Renis- I’m in Austin and my bf is a musician, and most of them agree. It’s getting worse, too, with all the sound ordinances popping up. And to be honest, the market is getting over-saturated, what with every dreamer with a guitar descending upon the city. However, I will say, you can find quality live music every day of the week here (if you know where to look), and that is more than you can say about most cities. I wouldn’t live anywhere else. So yes, we should drop the \Live Music Capital of the World\ nickname, but \Keep Austin Weird\ stays. ;)
    PS- I come from the self-proclaimed \Cowboy Capital of the World\ and believe me, this is MUCH better!

    posted by chrilew on 8-7-2009 at 12:26 pm

35. 1) One poor kid was getting sent on a flight by himself. He was probably 9 or 10. And he was screaming bloody murder as soon as they wrangled him on the plane. The stewardesses did what they could to calm him, but he wasn’t having it. We were waiting for this kid to chill out so we could take off. Finally, when he unbuckled his seat belt for the tenth time, they just let him go, opened the door, and he took off. It was such a relief for everyone involved. We finally got to take off, too! (The attendants informed us his grandfather was still there, so he wasn’t just running berserk in the airport.)

    posted by Shasta on 8-7-2009 at 12:28 pm

36. 1) Never had a bad flight experience beyond lost luggage. Did spend an 8 hour trip on a night bus from London to Glasgow with the expectation that I would sleep. No. A mother had brought a child aboard without buying a seat for the kid. 8 hours is a long time to sit in someone’s lap happily. It screamed all night long. No sleep for me.

    2) I second the nixing of the first name couple mixing. If I hear “Brangalina” one more time I’m gonna slap something

    3) I’m all for Levar Burton.

    4) My personal guilty pleasure. Project Runway. Typically hate reality shows but I love Tim Gunn. No one makes it work like him.

    posted by Hastings on 8-7-2009 at 12:36 pm

37. 1. I’ve never had a truly horrible experience on a plane, but when my brother was little, he and my dad were on a plane together and my brother was loudly asking all sorts of questions. A guy sitting nearby was getting more and more annoyed, but what finally put him over the edge was my brother asking, “Daddy, what happens if the wing falls off?”

    2. “The world’s greatest” anything. Unless you took a vote, it’s not the world’s greatest.

    3. Bob Harris, a “Jeopardy” champ who wrote a book about his experiences, “Prisoner of Trebekistan.” He’s both brilliant and hilarious. Ben Bailey is a good choice, too.

    4. “Lost” and “House”

    posted by Jenn on 8-7-2009 at 12:50 pm

38. I was once on a flight to a fabulous Mexican holiday and was seated next an enormous man–6’7, 350, easily. I ended up getting 1/4 of the seat while the chap took up the rest of it…too bad the guy was my brand spankin’ new husband, the flight was to our honeymoon, and I had not considered that I won’t get the luxury of a full seat on an airplane until the day one of us dies. There are a few redeeming qualities, though, ha-ha!

    On another note, I can’t wait to see Mad Men…nine days, people!

    posted by Patty on 8-7-2009 at 1:01 pm

39. 1a) Flying from PA to Texas with my wife and 2 year old. We take a car seat to strap her in. So I’m sweating and hurring to get the seat in the middle seat of our row so people can board and the flight can leave. Since I’m being pretty apologetic most of the passengers were cool and actually said things like \don’t worry\ \Hey you’re doing a smart thing\. Note I was the only black person on the plane.

    A stewardis is watching me the whole time. Once I am done the uber bitch smiles nastily and tells me that I can’t have the chair there. It has to be by the window seat before we can take off, everydbody watching looked ready to kill her.

    So I move it again and ask her this time if she wants to tell me of any other regulation, which gets a snicker from an elderly couple. However now I know how to do it and I get in fast.

    She glared at me the entire trip. The passengers smiled at me a lot though.

    1b) Flew back from Martha’s Vineyard to Phoenix, with a couple with a 3 year old seated next to me. (before I had kids) The entire trip the plane rose and fell killing my ears with the air preassure. Everybody was wincing even the parents. That little girl pulled at her ears a few times,but didn’t say a word and smiled the entire trip.

    I praised the parents and that little girl to high heaven when we landed cause I knew she had to be in pain. I told them they must be great parents and I hoped I had a little girl as nice as theirs.

    They looked like they were walking on air down the terminal.

    I hope that girl is doing well.

    posted by Chuck on 8-7-2009 at 1:03 pm

40. #3 – I’d vote for Penn Jilette (of Penn and Teller), although that would probably involve WAY too much profanity. No Ben Stein though, I lost any semblance of respect for him after he hosted that intelligent design “documentary”.

    posted by Bert on 8-7-2009 at 1:13 pm

41. 1. while my wife and i have had a few issues while flying, they all pale in comparison to the stories my father in law shares. he flies a lot for business, mainly in first class. probably the best story is how he sat next to ronnie lott and chatted with him for a few hours. the worst is definitely the man who, after take off, took his shoes and socks off and started clipping his toenails. what the heck is wrong with people?

    2. combining of celebrity names.

    3. how about stephen hawking? if not, i’ll go for jon stewart

    4. the office and house

    posted by mike b. on 8-7-2009 at 1:16 pm

42. @chrilew – You are 100% right about there being live music any night of the week in Austin – it’s the one redeeming quality the city has for music lovers.

    Other than that, the market is totally saturated, the venues are mostly ill-equipped and unfair to musicians (with a select few great ones) and the fans are guilty of the dreaded “Austin Gap” (when the crowd stands 10 feet back from the stage, thoroughly enjoying the show, but way too focused on looking cool to be rocking out up front).

    There are exceptions, of course, to all of these. But, generally, it’s a good example of Austin’s scene. Btw, my husband is also a local musician.

    posted by Renis on 8-7-2009 at 1:43 pm

43. 1. I’ve actually only flown once in my life and it was a good experience. I hope to have more in the future but for now I kind of like the fact I haven’t had an “Airline” fiasco. Man I loved that show.

    2. I’ve always hated the name for a tattoo on the lower back of a girl, “Tramp Stamp”. I have one there and it was a well thought out tattoo and I hate it when people, especially guys, call it that.

    3. I would love it if Tina Fey guest-published Mental Floss. I love her. And I second Allen with the Wil Wheaton suggestion. His blog is awesome and he has written some books as well.

    4. I can’t wait for Dollhouse, Dexter, and Mad Men.

    posted by Colene on 8-7-2009 at 2:46 pm

44. I was on a longish flight from Chicago to Puerto Rico, and I ended up being seated next to an immense lady with a 2-year-old…whom she had neglected to buy a separate seat for. I was trying to use my laptop, but the squirming kid ended up fidgeting and “accidentally” pressing buttons so much that I gave up.

    posted by Mal on 8-7-2009 at 2:47 pm

45. 1. I’ve had some miserable flying experiences, but for a true travel tragedy, nothing beats a bus ride I took once to Indianapolis. It was snowing very hard, and I needed to get to the airport. No one would take me, so I decided to take the bus. I was 19.

    The only seat left was in the very back of the bus, as far from the driver as could be, next to the scariest man I’ve ever seen in my life. I took it.

    He starts talking to me, relating the story of his trip cross country. He had last been in Vegas where he had been (shocking!) in jail for several days “for carrying one little knife.” Which he then proceeds to remove from his boot and show me. And then he introduces me to his buddy (across the aisle), named Red Dog. Yes.

    I don’t know how I made it to Indy alive. I must have a gift for talking to crazy people.

    posted by loripop on 8-7-2009 at 2:50 pm

46. 1. I’ve only flown once in my life and it was a good experience. I hope to fly more in the future, but I kind of like the fact that I haven’t had an “Airline” fiasco. Man I miss that show.

    2. I’ve always hated the nickname “Tramp Stamp”. I have a tattoo there and it means a lot to me. To have someone, mostly guys, call it that just makes me want to kick someone’s butt.

    3. I think Tina Fey would be an awesome guest editor. I love her wit and that she is a female geek like me. I also second Allen’s suggestion of Wil Wheaton. His blog is great and he has written a couple of books too.

    4. I can’t wait for Dollhouse, Dexter, and Mad Men.

    posted by Colene on 8-7-2009 at 2:53 pm

47. Here is my worst ever airline experience. As a reference point, Adam is my boyfriend, and we were going to Oklahoma to visit his family for Christmas. This was to be my first time meeting them.
    We got to the airport in Boston to a flight “delayed about half an hour” according to the agent who checked us in.

    At the gate we heard from some other passengers that the flight would be delayed a couple of hours. No big deal, it’s a direct flight.

    Our original flight on Midwest Airlines was cancelled, 10 minutes before the flight was supposed to take off.
    We waited in line to be re-booked; in an hour they helped 3 people (we were 15th in line)

    When we were the second people in line, we were sent to another counter and promised there would be no line. There was a line of 6 other parties.

    When we got to the front of the second line, we said please get us to any of the following cities: Dallas, Kansas City, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, St. Louis, or Rogers, Arkansas. There was nothing available to anywhere. It was December 22nd.
    We offered to drive to Oklahoma (somewhere between 24 and 30 hours drive time, depending on whether you stop), Midwest said they would pay for the car.
    Nobody would rent us a car for a one-way 1500 miles. This is the only point in the story where I cried: the very nice shuttle driver for Enterprise offered to take us to the other car rental booths.

    We went back to the Midwest counter. Meanwhile, Adam’s mom had pulled into a travel agency in Oklahoma, and found us a flight on Southwest to Tulsa out of Providence leaving the next morning (December 23rd).
    Midwest finally offered to pay for our new flight, move our return trip to Sunday (since at this point we had eaten up at least a a day in travel time), get us to Providence, and pay for a hotel so we wouldn’t have to figure out a way to get to Providence in the morning. And they bought us lunch. Thanks, Midwest!
    December 23rd: we got up in Providence, took the hotel shuttle to the airport, and took off to Chicago, where we would change planes for Tulsa.

    We made it to the sky above Chicago. We circled for an hour and half. We ran out of fuel and visibility was still terrible, so we were re-routed to Louisville, KY for fuel.
    In Louisville, we sat for two or three hours on the tarmac. They let people off the plane (when we finally had a gate). They refueled. They put people back on the plane. We took off for Chicago again.

    This time, we landed in Chicago! Yay! While we taxied to the gate, I called Southwest, explained the situation, and got us re-booked on the next flight to Tulsa, since we had missed our 12:30 flight. Done! Flight was supposed to leave at 5:30.
    We went to the gate in Chicago to confirm our status on the next flight to Tulsa. When they looked up our reservation, we were booked to… wait for it!…. Tucson, AZ! WRONG.
    Once that was straightened out, we hung out in the Midway mess for about six hours, waiting to see if we would make standby on the flight that was scheduled for 5:30 but would more likely take off around 7:15.
    We made standby. Except the flight left the gate at 8:15. And sat on the tarmac waiting to take off for an hour and a half.

    We were informed we needed to be de-iced again and also refueled because of all the sitting on the tarmac waiting to take off.

    We went back to the gate, refueled. Went back to the tarmac, de-iced. Took off, finally, at 11:00.
    We were to stop in St. Louis to exchange passengers but not change planes. We landed at 2:00 am on December 24th.
    Then they made us get off the plane…because they pilots were no longer allowed to fly! They had spent too long in the cockpit and had to take a break! Of course! So we got in that line of happy looking people and waited to be re-booked. AGAIN.
    We met a lovely couple from St. Louis who had waited at the airport for hours for this flight. They considered driving. We considered buying the gas and going with them.

    Instead, Southwest added a flight at 8 am for those of us who had been displaced. They did this at 3 am.

    We pulled some benches together and slept for a couple of hours at the airport in St. Louis.
    In the morning, our flight was delayed again. Not even surprising anymore, is it? We took off around 9:00 am on Christmas Eve, and landed in Tulsa at 11 am, two days later than we originally meant to.

    I’m never traveling at Christmas again.

    posted by Adrienne on 8-7-2009 at 2:53 pm

48. 1. I once sat beside a man who tried to convince me to have “a personal relationship with Jesus Christ”. Luckily it was a short flight.

    I had another flight where I sat beside a man who was on his way to a job interview and he was really really nervous. I’m not kidding you, I distracted him with my issue of Mental Floss and had a very pleasant flight after that.

    posted by Cheryl on 8-7-2009 at 2:54 pm

49. This spring I took a flight from Wisconsin to Kentucky with a layover in Detroit. The flight from Detroit to Kentucky, which I’ve done many times, is about 25 minutes.

    As soon as we got into the air the pilot warned us we’d be bucking some pretty heavy winds. Then the plane started jumping around like the hand of God was playing with it. This went on for the entire flight and pretty soon the flight attendants were handing out the air-sick bags.

    Just as we were coming in for the landing, the person in the seat directly in front of my started puking…and he didn’t make it to the air-sick bag. The smell was immediate and unmistakable.

    Now I spent 10 years as an EMT, 8 years as a cop and have 2 kids; the smell of puke long ago ceased to have an impact on me. But as the smell wafted around the plane, the sympathetic puking began.

    But at least we were going to be on the ground soon…or not.

    I like sitting at the window when flying. But when I looked down and saw the plane was flying sideways on our final approach, I regretted my choice. The strong winds prevented us from landing on the first attempt. And the vomiting continued.

    On our second attempt we got to within approximately 100 feet of the ground when a strong wind caused the plane to drop about 50 feet. The pilot pulled up and went around again. I’m not a religious man, but what do they say — there are no atheists in foxholes? I commenced a-prayin’.

    On the third try, the plane didn’t even get close to the runway before it was blown too far off course.

    The pilot came on and said, “Sorry folks, we don’t have enough fuel to circle til the winds die down and all other airports in the area are having the same problems. We’re going back to Detroit.” There was a collective groan, both from the pukers and the non-pukers.

    We had to fly all the way back through that roller-coaster ride. I’ve never seen so many people puking in one place.

    Worst…flight…evaaaar.

    posted by Kirch on 8-7-2009 at 2:56 pm

50. 1. It happened the day Spring Break started. Me, my sister, and some classmates were on the New York Plane to Rome. It was like a 9 hour trip and this French couple behind my sister and I kept making noises during the flight (and this is when we were supposed to be sleeping because we wouldn’t get any once we got to Rome). The French woman kept complaining to her boyfriend or husband. And they also kept kicking our seats. I got maybe a few minutes of sleep on the flight. However, the plane from Paris to Dallas was quite relaxing and I got a few hours of sleep.

    3. Maybe Tina Fey. She seems like she would KILL the issue of Mental_floss with her humor.

    4. Probably 30 Rock; when I actually watch it.

    posted by Ellie on 8-7-2009 at 3:02 pm

51. I have to agree with Matt on points 3&4.

    1. Not an unruly passenger, but the guy across the aisle vomited into a sick back after a particularly rough landing. The sun was shining through the window at the time, so I could watch a silohuette of the bag filling up.

    2. Numerous sports writers say this and I have to agree: sports nicknames that are nothing more than the first initial and first three letters of the last name (A-Rod, K-Rod, etc). There’s no originality in sports nicknames anymore.

    3. Matt nailed it: Trebek would be perfect.

    4. Again, I agree with Matt. How I Met Your Mother. Although unlike commentor #1, I could really care less about who the mother is. The show makes me laugh, that’s all that’s important.

    posted by erak on 8-7-2009 at 3:07 pm

52. 1. I was sitting next to the window as the plane was boarding when a lady with a small child started to get into the aisle. As she was sitting down in the middle sear she turned to me and said, “Please, don’t hate us.” I couldn’t figure out why she would have asked that until her husband and another small child sat down next to her. It was a four hour flight with the two kids crawling over the three of us the entire way. I’m still trying not to hate her.

    2. I think we should stop calling the U.S. a republic in the pledge of allegiance. We’ve been a democracy for a while now maybe it should catch up.

    3. Any magazine can get a celebrity editor, I’d like to see the parents of the Mental Floss editors do the magazine.

    4. I don’t know if I’m waiting for any of them since I’m still trying to get caught up on what Hulu is showing.

    posted by David on 8-7-2009 at 3:32 pm

53. This is my Dad’s story. He was stuck at an airport with hundreds of other travelers trying to get re-booked after a storm had grounded many flights.

    Dozens of people were lined up at his gate patiently waiting their turn to talk to a gate agent. The one exception was a hot headed business man who came storming up to the counter hurling expletives at the airline employees and demanding they take care of him before anyone else. The agents kept cool and instructed him to wait in the line, but he simply wouldn’t go away. Finally a silent man in cowboy gear stepped out of the line, grabbed the back of the belligerent guy’s collar and yanked him back 6 feet landing on his butt.

    The businessman flew into a rage. He ran from the gate and returned a few minutes later with a police officer. He pointed out the cowboy as the perpetrator but when the officer asked the next person in line if he’d seen the incident, the response was “I didn’t see anything.” The cop worked his way down the line, but somehow couldn’t find any witnesses to the alleged assault. The policeman shrugged at the stunned businessman who could only slink away in shame.

    posted by Stuart on 8-7-2009 at 3:39 pm

54. I had to sit between an old farm couple for 6 hours. They did not like to sit together and the flight was 100% full. She was morbidly obese (350+lbs and 5′ tall); this caused her to overflow her seat and pinned me up against her husband. He was a very friendly person and talked at me the entire 6 hours. I say ‘at’ because a) I was not conversing back and b) he was compelled to turn his head fully toward me when he spoke even though we were squished together.

    That would not have been terrible except he had not in all of his 60 years ever brushed his teeth. I have never experience the level of halitosis that I endured that day – he must have consumed a bowl of manure daily. Going even deeper; the man’s saliva glands were over-active. During the flight he must have sprayed me with 3 gallons of toxic waist from his oral cavity – my shirt was visibly damp.

    When the in-flight meal was served, the two of them marveled that I was not hungry on such a long flight. The wife then did a magic trick and made my entire meal disappear nearly instantly.

    If I could have moved my arms, I would have filled the airsickness bag and asked for another.

    posted by n2y2 on 8-7-2009 at 3:42 pm

55. My best flight experience was actually a fun one. I was flying from Chicago to Buenos Aires, and the flight was pretty normal until the last hour. Two of the passengers got into a good-humored pillow fight (this was before 9-11), and it spread throughout the entire coach cabin. Pretty soon all of the coach passengers on the 767 were in this crazy pillow fight, and even the flight attendents started throwing pillows! It was the fist time I’ve ever been not jealous of people in first class!

    posted by Britt on 8-7-2009 at 3:44 pm

56. 4. Monk.

    The final season begins tonight.

    I am surprised that I am the first to mention it. Monk seems like such a Flossie show.

    posted by n2y2 on 8-7-2009 at 3:47 pm

57. 1. This occurred when I was on a flight by myself when I was 16 years old. A guy who had to be at least 27 or 28 started hitting on me. I’m almost completely sure he was only doing it to make me uncomfortable. If I had my pepper spray on that plane, I would have hosed him down. What a weirdo.

    2. Referring to celebrities as “fashion icons.” I get it. Famous people wear pretty clothes. Hey, it’s really easy to dress well when you have personal shoppers hand-picking designer clothes for you.

    3. Please, please get Alex Trebek! Jeopardy has always been my favorite show on TV. I wish I was smart enough to audition.

    4. I can’t wait for Pitchmen to come back on the Discovery Channel. I loved that show last season. I was really sad to hear about the death of Billy Mays, and I want to see how his production company, his customers, and his family will deal with everything. RIP Billy. My whites are whiter and my brights are brighter because of you.

    posted by Brooke on 8-7-2009 at 3:49 pm

58. 1. On a 15 hour flight from Melbourne, Australia to LAX, our plane hit major turbulence – the worst I’ve ever experienced and I’ve flown a lot. Quite a few of the passengers started getting air sick. The seat belt lights were off so there were a bunch of people in the aisles stumbling around. I see one guy coming with his hand over his mouth and just as he passes me, he pukes in the aisle … and on me. People, *that’s* why they provide a BAG in your seat for you to use! I had to wait 10 hours before I could properly clean up.

    3. Julie Powell – the woman who wrote the Julie/Julia Project blog that inspired the movie.

    4. I’m looking forward to Sons of Anarchy and LOST.

    reCaptcha: useful directors

    posted by Katherine on 8-7-2009 at 4:26 pm

59. My worst flight experience: Berlin to NYC. The plane is more than full, there are at least a half dozen lap children… but not babies, these kids had to be a few days away from having to buy a seat. One of the families with a baby was an orthodox jewish mother with three very young kids. She refused to stow her carry-on bags and got very upset, delaying our plane. In the row directly behind us, there was a loud Polish family, with a HUGE toddler. She looked about 4, but she did not have her own seat. She wanted to wander the plane aisles, and ANY time anyone tried to make her sit in a seat, or even laid hands on her she began to scream in the way that only a pissed off, jet lagged toddler can. For 10 hours. When the meal was served, the jewish mother received kosher trays for herself and her older kids. But she did not get one for the baby. Mind you, these trays seem to have about twice the food of regular meals, and her kids are pretty young, but she threw a fit again, insisting on a kosher meal tray for her infant. It was at this point that my friends and I gave up on trying to sleep. We were surrounded. So we started drinking. The flight attendants were quite helpful. I think they felt our pain. We only paid for about half of our drinks, and we drank a lot. It made the flight much more tolerable!

    posted by Liana on 8-7-2009 at 4:31 pm

60. 1. On my first plane trip–my honeymoon– the trip there was perfectly smooth and I slept the whole way. On the way back, the 2.5 hour trip took 7 hours. There was a 7 month old and a 4 year old directly behind us. The four year old screamed the loudest.

    The baby did get pretty cranky toward the end. I ws perfectly fine until the mom offered the baby a cookie and the husband replied that, “We shouldn’t use food to control their moods, I think she should just cry it out.” At that moment, I felt pretty bad for mom.

    2. Hate to tell you this David, but a Democracy is where all people vote on all things. A Republic is where people vote mainly to elect people to sit around all day and vote for them.

    3. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s Conan O’Brien.

    4. Medium.

    posted by emily on 8-7-2009 at 4:37 pm

61. When I was about 7 my family moved from Houston to Brussels for my dad’s job. Dad went on ahead to get things settled at the new house, which left Mom to wrangle me, my 4-year-old and 6-month-old sisters and a pile of suitcases on a transatlantic flight.

    The airline failed to seat us all together: we had one seat by itself several rows away. Mom politely asked the other gentleman in our row if he would switch to that other seat. He refused. So Mom gave me the baby and said, “This is Meredith, this is Beth, and the baby is Laura. Make sure they eat something and get to the bathroom. I’ll be four rows up if anything happens. Have a nice flight.” He was more amenable to moving after that.

    For guest editor I’ll add my voice to the Trebek-lovers, and also nominate Bill Nye the Science Guy.

    posted by Meredith on 8-7-2009 at 4:40 pm

62. 1. It wasn’t a flight, but once on an extremely long bus ride from San Francisco to Chicago a religious group boarded the bus in Salt Lake City. They all looked like ex-cons. All the women in sat in the back of the bus which is where I was and the men sat towards the front. There were about twenty in total. They would spontaniously burst into song and go into very long audible praying sessions. The best part was when we finally reached Chicago one of them walked up to us and said “I think you forgot this.” It turned out to be a mirror with a whole stack of condoms on the bottom that had fallen out of my bag.
    2. People calling King David IV of Georgia the sword of the messiah always annoyed me.
    3. I think letting Ken Jennings do an entire issue would be interesting.
    4. Mad Men, How I Met Your Mother, and It’s Always Sunny in Philidalpheia.

    posted by David on 8-7-2009 at 4:53 pm

63. 1. I don’t recall any horrible flights. Bad yes, horrible not so much. I think I had a lot of ear trouble on one of my first flights from MN to FLA.

    Peter King of SI.com writes an Annoying/Enjoyable Travel Story of the Week in his weekly online column Monday Morning QB, and he’s encountered flatulence before, which would be pretty horrific.

    2. MUST BE RETIRED – “America’s Team” for the Cowboys. Unless you’re a fan of the Cowboys, you probably despise them as much or more than any other team. Also, how cocky are you to claim that?

    3. I love Jon Stewart mentioned a number of times. Would love to see Stewart maybe design a MF crossword (perhaps w/ help) as he’s a crossword buff. Trebek would be good, as would Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

    4. Supernatural (great frakking finale, left me w/ my mouth agape), as well as previously mentioned Lost, Dollhouse, and Chuck.

    posted by Jonny on 8-7-2009 at 5:14 pm

64. The flight was only one part of the worst trip of my life. NY to Estonia in 1988. We boarded the plane and sat for two hours. There was some issue with the door. We were starting to get restless when they beboarded us and moved us to a waiting room. This room had red carpet and wihtin moments it was filled with a cloud of sulfurous smoke as everybody light up cigarettes. My athsma loved this. Another four hours later they finally had a repaired plane for us so we reboarded. To sit on the plane for another hour before taking off. I’m a bit insomniac under normal conditions, and I never sleep on planes. We finally land and as a student group we get through customs easily. Then comes the bus ride from Moscow to Tartu, Estonia. Over bad roads. In a bus with nearly no suspension. And I still couldn’t sleep. All told it was about twenty-four hours. But on that trip I met my first love…

    posted by Miguel on 8-7-2009 at 5:32 pm

65. Worst experience: a 14 hour flight from Amsterdam to LAX, not a red eye so many people were awake for the whole flight, including some kind of EU performing troupe fueled on …something. They were loud, over-emoting, and completely in love with the sounds of their own voices, plus they kept egging each other on. It was amusing for the first 30 minutes; not so much after 6 hours. My only escape was watching the in-flight entertainment which included a half dozen Kenny G music videos (ok maybe this was going to be a red eye flight after all) and a Seinfeld episode on a roughly 2 hour loop. Broken up by a couple movies, I watched that loop 4-5 times. I still twitch when I hear Kenny G. It doesn’t sound so bad on paper but long distance travel like that just wears down any mental fortitude and patience I might normally have.

    Best experience: holding a little girl whom I’d just met in my lap and watching a lunar eclipse together while her mother smiled at us.

    Weirdest experience: a puddle jumper flight from Miami to Orlando during a thunderstorm. Watching lightning flash around the plane and watching my hair float toward the plane’s now statically charged fuselage.

    posted by Michelle on 8-7-2009 at 5:39 pm

66. 1. I’ve never had a terrible flight experience but I did get threatened by airport security. I was flying to London within 6 Months of 9/11. Got pulled to side for random check and had to take everything out of my carry-on and place on table, take of shoes ect… Guy told my to put my stuff back in bag and continue on. He then walks away and just as I finish loading my bag as I grab it off the table another guy comes over yelling at me for placing my bag on \the table.\ He told me to unload my bag onto the table and I explained just went through the process and had just got my stuff back in the bag. He told me to stop being combative and I told him I was just trying to explain. He told me to unload my bag or I would be arrested. went throught the who process again. Lots of fun.

    2. \Accidental Overdose\. U’m if your shooting herion there is nothing accidental about it. Just an overdose.

    3. Joel Mchale, John Stewart, Kevin Spacey.

    4. Dexter / Lost / Big Love / How I Meet your (wait for it…) Mother

    posted by Johnism on 8-7-2009 at 6:50 pm

67. 3. I think a very classic nerd is definitely in order. I like the idea of Bill Nye, but am completely against Ben Stein. How about Alton Brown? Nerdy, intelligent, and personable. Or Christopher Moore.

    posted by Erika on 8-7-2009 at 9:26 pm

68. 1. When I was 14 or 15, I was flying from Charleston, SC to Pittsburgh by myself. Coming into the ‘Burgh, we hit a whiff of turbulence that soon turned into roller coaster rolls of turbulence. It started in the rows about 5 ahead of me . . . the wave. Some of the teenagers at the front of the plane started throwing their hands in the air and yelling “woooo!” when we dipped, as people do at the ballparks. This caught on quickly.

    A good experience (that I only just now remembered thanks to this post), I was 13 again flying back from Charleston. I had said good-bye to my dad at the airport and this was somewhat tearful for me. First to board the plane, I opened my purse to find a card from my dad telling me he love me. I started crying, silently no boo-hooing or anything. This male attendant walked past and saw me. He smiled and said, “Those glasses look really pretty on you. Let me know if you need anything.” I was able to feel good the rest of the flight.

    2. every movie being the funniest, most anticipated, most terrifying, most epic, greatest thing ever

    3. John Cleese, or heck, I would gladly read any musings from a Python

    4. Lost, Chuck, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

    posted by Lori on 8-7-2009 at 9:47 pm

69. 1. It’s not a worst airline story, but actually a best passenger. My mom and little brother (who was 3 at the time) were flying from Las Vegas to Atlanta on standby. So they get to the front desk to check in, and are told that there’s a flight for them, but it’s on the complete opposite side of the airport, and it’s leaving in 20 minutes. So they book it over there (keep in mind my brother was too heavy to carry, but didn’t move very fast), and make it on the flight. It was a cheapy, tiny airplane, etc, and they got the last two seats in the back. They’re exhausted, it’s late at night, and the flight is super cramped.

    Then the young woman sitting in the next seat turns to my mom and goes, oh, I’m a kindergarten teacher! And then turns to my brother and goes, how old are you? What’s in your bag? And proceeds to play with him and entertain him the entire flight. When the flight lands, the woman goes, oh, I’m meeting my brother here. He’s Prince Charming at Disney World. So my brother got to meet Prince Charming and play with a kindergarten teacher.

    My personal airline passenger experiences have all been boring. I’ve never really chatted with anyone. But once when flying as a minor, the flight attendant gave me leftover ice cream from first class.

    posted by Case on 8-7-2009 at 10:02 pm

70. I recently flew from Mesa AZ to Peoria IL on a regional carrier. While going over the preflight instructions (you know..how to use your seatbelt, where the exits are, etc) the guy behind me piped in with the following quote that got me laughing..
    “If we hit a body of water large enough for me to have to use my seat as a flotation device between Arizona and Illinois…I like my chances of surviving this things!”…just made me laugh!!

    posted by James on 8-7-2009 at 11:26 pm

71. 1) On a military flight from Germany to England. Mostly military personnel with some dependents/family members also travelling. Once we get in the air the crew starts to do beverage service, starting at the rear of the plane. This woman sitting at the front of the plane DEMANDS to be served first. Her husband was Colonel So-and-So and she was loud & beligerent & belitting. She kept mentioning that she was Mrs. Colonel, etc… So the crew, to keep the peace, agreed to serve her coffee first, before everyone else. Well,we hit a pocket of turbulence & Mrs. Colonel’s coffee went straight up into the air & straight down all over Mrs. Colonel. You can imagine the reaction of the entire plane – lots of laughing & giggling and the flight crew struggling to keep a straight face.
    2) I am so sick of adding \gate\ to denote a scandal. eg. Strippergate, Contra-gate, Trooper-gate.
    3) Penn Gillette or Christopher Guest.
    4) How I Met Your Mother

    posted by Wicked Wanda on 8-7-2009 at 11:49 pm

72. I was on an Asiana Airline flying to Thailand. It was a pretty nice flight, after the attendants had asked us what we wanted for dinner. However, this couple in the middle isle had a baby. They decide that it would be easier to change the baby in the space in front of them rather than taking the baby to the bathroom. After the lovely aroma had filled the air, with impeccable timing, the attendants brought out all our food.

    posted by joe on 8-8-2009 at 1:04 am

73. #1:

    My son is probably a worse-flight story for the person in front of him on a flight from San Jose to Phoenix for Thanksgiving about four years ago.

    My son was 2 1/2 at the time and I was trying to get him to keep his feet off the chair in front of him but he had no toys or books or anything for me to use as collateral for a threat so I really had no power. I tried really hard to get him to stop and I’m sure the whole plane knew his name by the time landed!!

    I don’t remember what the guy said toward the end of the flight but it was really rude and I wanted to tell him, “For you this was a bad flight… but this is MY LIFE!!!!”

    #4:

    NCIS… even though I don’t watch it when it airs, I watch it in reruns on USA or OnDemand when I have time.

    posted by Sarah in CA on 8-8-2009 at 2:29 am

74. 3. I’d have to go with John Hodgman or Ira Flato.

    posted by Julia on 8-8-2009 at 3:21 am

75. Emily did you hate to say it because you hate being wrong?

    posted by David on 8-8-2009 at 6:53 am

76. Please David and Emily, not on Mentalfloss…this place is a haven from the bickering chat pages almost every where else on the web. Don’t be angry at each other or I will cry! A bit of hyperbole there but …

    3. Love some of the suggestions ie. Bill Nye, Stephen Fry, Ben Bailey (sp?), even Bob Harris of whom I have not heard but sounds fascinating. The best would be Ben Stein. Someone with a lot of experience is always fun.

    posted by VScott on 8-8-2009 at 1:05 pm

77. worst flight but fabulous since we survived: flying from the caucus region of russia/georgia up to moscow. it started in a scary airport that is really just a big warehouse. everyone in russia seems to dress up just to go to the airport, and by dress up i mean put on hooker clothes. it gave us something to laugh at while waiting for our flight.

    then we were told to head out onto the tarmac and the plane was pointed out. someone may as well have said “this is the last thing smoking out of saigon” because everyone started running for the plane. you really felt like if you didnt get up towards the front of the line you would get left on the tarmac or have to cling to one of the wheels just to leave the region.

    the flight started fine, but the weather turned by the time we got near moscow. we think air traffic control forgot our plane was up there, because we circled at least ten times in tight circles. in a commercial jet. with a pilot who must have been a former mig fighter pilot, because he started banking the turns.

    we all lived, and then my friend and i survived the drive across moscow to the main train station to catch the trans-siberian. thank goodness, because i don’t know i could have handled another flight right then!

    as for four, am i the only one that watches eureka?

    posted by Id on 8-9-2009 at 7:13 am

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