Perhaps, in retrospect, an 11-pound turkey was a bit excessive for two people. (We’re just glad we didn’t go with the 22-pounder.) We’re so sick of picking over the carcass that we’re tempted to use it as a football. Got any better ideas? This week’s contest takes a turn for the practical: What the heck are we supposed to do with all this leftover turkey? Answers can be practical (recipes), charitable (make sandwiches; give them to the homeless), whimsical (dress it up as a snowman), inadvisable (feed it to the lion at the local zoo), whatever you wish. The best one gets a copy of What’s the Difference? Submit ‘em by Sunday night at midnight, and if we still have any turkey left — we’re guessing we will — we’ll take your advice.
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My suggestion for the remaining turkey carcass:
Take it to the cemetary and bury it near one of the already occupied graves, leaving just part of the bones sticking out; preferably the thigh bone. When you see someone coming by, point to the bones and scream!
posted by Sheldon Siegel on 11-27-2006 at 6:39 pm
Make a meat helmet, go to the local park and run around trying to avoid birds, dogs, fat children and whatever might want to devour the thanksgiving fowl. It’s a great way to burn off those excess calories!
posted by Andy on 11-27-2006 at 7:15 pm
Turkey leftovers are at their best in soups or salads, as they tend to become a bit dessicated. The giblets and remnants really should be recycled, however, by using them as coyote bait. The gelatinous slurry from the bottom of the roaster acquires a piquance that moondoggies find irresistable. If ‘yotes are in short supply, foxes, coons and other varmints will be pleased to help themselves. You feed those worthless songbirds in your backyard. What about the poor buzzards, circling endlessly overhead?
posted by Tom on 11-27-2006 at 7:23 pm
Despite the fact that we Canucks celebrated Thanksgiving WEEKS ago, one of my favourite recipies involves leftover turkey.
In a large frying pan, skillet or wok, combine left over bird;various veggies (could also be leftovers but fresh stir-fry veggies make it feel more like a NEW meal) and a can of cream of chicken or cream of mushroom soup (I wasn’t sure about brand/trademark restrictions…..I always use the stuff that comes in the can with the red and white label). Over medium heat let all the ingredients warm. You could add your favourite herbs at this point. In another pot, make some egg noodles. Once the noodles are cooked, combine them in the frying pan (or whatever). Let everything warm and meld and all the other yummy things food does for about 10 minutes.
Volia! A new use for leftovers. A great variation is to add curry powder to the turkey/veg/soup mix.
Bon Appetite!!! From the Great-(Not Yet, Thank God) White-North
posted by Worrals on 11-27-2006 at 8:08 pm
I just took the ol’ carcass and threw it in a big pot with some carrots, celery, onions, filled it up with water, and let it simmer for 3 or 4 hours. I strained it and put it in quart freezer bags, froze them, and now’ve got stock to last a long while.
posted by Lilje on 11-27-2006 at 9:00 pm
This won’t win any prizes, but I freeze several quart-baggie portions of sliced or chopped turkey. I love turkey sandwiches, but I put a couple of weeks between each package, so I don’t get too tired of them.
posted by Miss Cellania on 11-27-2006 at 9:08 pm
Ok, first you need the Ronco Dehydrator. You pick off the meat you want, then pop the whole thing into the R.D. Dry it out for about 3 days. Take it out, then wrap it with parchment paper soaked in parafin. Leave it in a warm dry place for a week. Next, take a coat hanger and bend it into a nice circle that sits inside the bird’s chest cavity and VOILA! You have a beautiful, recycled and natural lamp shade.
posted by creesto on 11-27-2006 at 9:41 pm
ever heard of potato guns? why don’t you try a turkey gun…who knows, it might even be lethal…
posted by Ed on 11-27-2006 at 10:50 pm
As a young high schooler in a town with little to do, my youth group and I would get together and play a little game we used to celebrate the coming of Thanksgiving…turkey bowling. Yes, it’s just what you think. We threw frozen carcasses into soda bottles for points. Pretty gross. Then, when we got bored of that, cornish hen football…even worse. Good luck, and bring a mop.
posted by the kid on 11-28-2006 at 12:35 am
Find someone you hate and hide it in their house. Slowly it’ll start to decay and you’ll have sweet (sour smelling?) revenge.
(Perhaps do this to a vegetarian you hate. haha)
posted by Sara on 11-28-2006 at 1:34 am
Leftover turkey can be shared with friends in that unused fondue pot. Take bite-size chunks of turkey, dip them in tempura batter and dip them in teriyaki sauce until they’re crispy.
posted by Adrienne on 11-28-2006 at 1:51 am
Find some college students. I don’t know any college student who won’t take free food. Or charge a minimal fee. They will still probably buy it. I would.
posted by Janel on 11-28-2006 at 3:00 am
Cut up the carcass and tie the pieces to tree limbs around your home as a warning to other turkeys and evil spirits. Plus, people will know you’ll be having HAM in December! That’s killing 3 birds with 1 carved bird.
posted by Brickfoot on 11-28-2006 at 3:04 am
Uses for left over turkey? There are plenty; but one that sticks in my mind is the every popular…
TURKEY MARIONETTE
Turkey Marionettes are popular with children the world over and have been bringing joy to theatre goers for years.
Though Turkey Marionettes are thought to be a very old passtime started by Turkey lovers in Turkey, history shows that the Turkey Marionette actually origionated in France in the 1600′s when there was a tree shortage for children’s toys.
Making your own Turkey Marionette is very easy and fun to do!
YOU WILL NEED
- One Turkey carcas
- Some fishing wire (prefereably the clear kind)
- Four Popscicle sticks or four flat pieces of wood 2×6 in diameter
- Masking tape or duct tape.
- Old baby clothing or pieces of cloth.
- Some nylons
- Googily Eyes
- Some Glue or rubber cement
- Some pieces of yarn. Any colour will do.
- Cotton balls.
- Markers.
DIRECTIONS
* First, do whatever you want with the old turkey. This far after Thanksgiving, you’re probably sick of it anyway. You could feed the turkey to your cats until all you are left with is the bones.
* Wash the bones until they are good and clean. No one wants a Turkey Marionette that smells like turkey. Your cats could attack the marionette during a performance and that would be awful. It would break the fourth wall that is so prized by thespians.
* While your cats are ingesting enough tryptophan to sleep for a thousand years, tie the bones of the carcass in place with the fishing wire; use masking tape or duct tape where necessary; don’t worry, all the tape will be hidden under the costume.
* Next, fashion a head out of the nylons and cotton batting. Make sure to leave a lose bit at the end to stuff inside the carcass so the head stays on. Having the head of your turkey marionette fall off during a performance is a bad thing; unless you’re doing a play of The Headless Horseman.
* Use the glue or rubber cement to glue on the eyes and use the yarn for hair. Maybe think of giving your Turkey Marionette a long forgotten hair style. Mullets are easy to do with yarn. Draw on a face with the markers and your head is good to go.
* Next, dress the turkey carcass in whatever old clothes or cloth you have. Don’t worry about putting shoes on your Marionette; turkey’s don’t wear shoes.
* Take your popscicle sticks and fashion two crosses with the masking tape holding them together in the centre.
* Tie some fishing line to each end of the cross. Tie the lef handed lines to the left side of the body at head, shoulder, wings and toes. (Not the eyes, ears, mouth and nose. At this point, the turkey won’t have any of those anyways.)
* Repeat with the right side using more fishing line and the second popscicle stcik cross. You don’t want your Turkey Marionette looking like it had a stroke, do you?
Now you have your very own Turkey Marionette! Practice making your Turkey Marionette walk, dance and jive. You can even test it out by frightening your cats or your loved ones!
Theatre will never be the same!
posted by Jamieson Wolf on 11-28-2006 at 10:48 am
I would suggest making a big pot of soup, turkey carcass and meat, potatoes, parsnips, carrots, celery, cabbage, cauliflower, beans, perhaps peanuts, herbs and spices. Then invite friends over to celebrate making it half way through the holiday season, buck up the spirits for the remaining holiday time, talk about worst gifts ever received, best memories of family get-togethers. Soup and bread makes a nice meal for this. If you really want you can make one batch of soup with and one without turkey allowing for vegetarian friends as well.
posted by Leslie on 11-28-2006 at 1:47 pm
I think that the turkey bones(if available) should be turned into a sculpture, which will be in turn made into a still life, which will in turn be bought for a few million at Sotheby’s.
posted by Daniel on 11-28-2006 at 2:12 pm
Be grateful it’s not a fruitcake, you turkey!
(In December can be swapped to read, “Be grateful it’s not a turkey, you fruitcake.”)
posted by Rhea on 11-28-2006 at 4:41 pm
Can we get pictures of the marrionette and lampshade? That’s the best arts and crafts I’ve ever heard! (My use for leftovers? Have Thanksgiving dinner at someone else’s house. :P)
posted by Sara on 11-28-2006 at 10:25 pm
Fill it with feces and set it on fire. On the hood of your neighbor’s car.
posted by Amanda on 11-28-2006 at 11:34 pm
I asked my 15 year old grandson for ideas and he told me that is science teacher, last year, used a small piece of turkey in place of cellophane tape to adhere a poster to the classroom wall. The students had a hard time paying attention to the teacher because they kept watching the corner of the poster, waiting for it to become unstuck. There was even a pool going but the “turkey-tape” made it till the next morning when it was replaced by cellophane tape. Needless to say, my grandson and his classmates were disappointed that the teacher had not waited for the “Fall of Turkey”.
posted by Catherine Thomas on 11-30-2006 at 8:10 am
What to do with the carcass? Hands down, the BEST: pick your favorite toy poodle, chihuahua or other small type dog, insert into [important: COOLED OFF] carcass, and have a blast watching him run around trying to eat himself. Add a couple of cats or extra dogs and see the fun multiply!! . . . or, er, I’m guessing, anyway.
posted by Connie McKinney on 11-30-2006 at 8:52 am
The absolute best thing to do with leftover turkey?
Make a turkey stew with all those leftover veggies, etc. and give it to your local homeless shelter. Unless, of course, the local homeless are also getting sick of leftover turkey…
posted by C.J. Carlin on 11-30-2006 at 11:23 am
Here’s a thought. Take Mr. Turkey to a college dorm that has laundry facility (these are usually unmonitored…) Put Turkey in dryer and take a seat. Enjoy watching the various reactions of those crazy college kids to a spinning left-over foul.
Recommendation: bring your good running shoes in case you picked the floor with RA who is also the captain of the Track and Field team.
posted by Emily on 11-30-2006 at 3:03 pm
Feed it back to currently living turkeys and film a low-budget horror film on turkey cannibalism. Sub-themes are your choice.
If there is still more turkey left over, make it up to your mothers by mailing it to those “starving children in China.”
posted by Philip Grech on 11-30-2006 at 3:19 pm
I thought of another one, thanks to my zoology lab and my mom, who cooked a turkey tonight. Clean the bones off, and study comparative anatomy! It’s tasty, and educational!
posted by Janel on 12-1-2006 at 1:43 am
A practice exists of removing a portion of the wing of a wild turkey (prior to cooking)in order to create a call from the bone, which produces a vocalization to attract turkeys. The wingbone call is considered a skillful piece of functional artwork. The secret of creating the call is usually passed on only to family members.
posted by Bookelle on 12-2-2006 at 5:21 pm