Jason English
Friday Happy Hour: Continuing Your Education
by Jason English - August 14, 2009 - 9:21 AM
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1. Congratulations! You’ve been awarded a scholarship to pursue any advanced degree or training you’d like, plus the necessary housing considerations, a meal allowance, a job for your significant other in your new city, well-credentialed babysitters, etc. Where would you go, and what would you study?

afar

2. Earlier this week, Mangesh and I attended the launch party for Afar magazine (we’re pictured here looking a little confused during the capoeira performance). I’ve heard the story of our actual launch party—a ‘Wine & Cheetos’ affair held in a space that did not allow alcohol, thus making it a ‘& Cheetos’ affair. I think a re-launch party is in order. If we hired you to plan a mental_floss (9th-anniversary-of-the-first) launch party, what would that look like? Where would it be? What would we eat? Which C-list celebrities would you convince to attend?

3. If you were given the power to change just one thing about your current job, what would it be? Don’t say “more money” or “more vacation time.” Everyone wants that.

4. What’s one food you’ve tried to like, but just can’t bring yourself to eat it?

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Comments (53)
  1. 4. Bananas. I cannot stand bananas. Growing up, I even would start gagging at the smell if someone peeled one within 20 feet of me. I’m not gagging anymore, but I still can’t eat them.
    Every few years or so, I try a banana to see if my tastes have changed. So far, still hate them. I even hate plantains.
    I can honestly say, I have never truly eaten a banana in my entire life. I even refused to eat them when I was a baby. I feel like I’m probably missing out on something good. Oh well.

  2. 1) go to glasgow scotland and pursue a career in photography.

    3) Allow for the listening to of music!!

    4) 2 things coming to mind are: yogurt and collard greens…

  3. 1. Easy. I’d study engineering at MIT.

    2. Not sure. I’m a lousy party host. Trying hard and even spending money doesn’t make a good party.

    3. I’d do away with my company cell phone. It has a 1-800 number, and what it amounts to often is that I’m doing a company-funded 411 service telling people to call the long-distance number that they should’ve called to begin with. It’s very frustrating.

    4. Chocolate pudding. It looks good and smells lovely, but I just don’t like it a bit.

  4. 1. It was Digitech when i was still in high school. Now i would probably choose something slightly more realistic for me, such as NYU or USC

    2.No clue.

    3. I would probably establish a better chain of command here, and switch some positions from part-time to full-time with benefits. After that, I would set up a more efficient logistics strategy.

    4. Cole slaw. I had a traumatic experience with it as a child, and haven’t been able to eat it since. Sounds ridiculous I know.

  5. Oops, I forgot to add what I would study.

    1. NYU and USC blah blah blah…I would like to study philosphy and sociology. Now, if only i could find a way to transition those into legitimate careers.

  6. I go to Ireland and study anthropology and archeology.

    How about a simple wine and cheese party, but in a spectacular outdoor setting? On a Maid of the Mist boat below Niagara Falls, or overlooking the Grand Canyon, or perhaps near Mt. Ranier in Washington. Invite Alex Trebek and Ken Jennings.

    Fewer meetings (a former co-worker of mine used to say “Lions have been kings of the jungle for thousands of years and they never have meetings) and allow more working at home.

    Artichokes. To me, they still taste like grass. Add lemon and butter? OK, then they taste like lemon-and-butter flavored grass.

  7. 1) No question. I’d go to MIT and study something science-y… astrophysics, probably.

    2) I don’t know, but there would be a metric butt-load of exotic beer and hot wings.

    3) Interesting projects. Either that or a free crackberry/iPhone.

    4) Fish. I know fish is good for me, but I can’t enjoy it unless it is deep fried and swimming in malt vinegar and salt.

  8. 2-A warehouse in Dumbo or Jersey City (the new Dumbo). A great DJ, full open bar, trivia contests, amazing food with a funky/downtown/hipster twist (aka mini-sloppy joes, bacon covered bacon…), reader submitted floss-inspired art, massive game of twister… yea.Thats about it.

    Seriously, call me if you want me to plan this, it would be amazing and I throw a great party.

  9. Olives, my life would be expontentionally easier if I just liked them. I’ve tried so hard but I’ll always be stuck as a martini with a twist kind of guy.

  10. 1. Culinary school in Paris, France

    2. In the central room of the Nobel Museum, and featuring “brain food” canapes: smoked salmon pate; blueberries; tomato and avocado salad, etc. And of course, a cake shaped like an MF mag, open to an article (if it’s one of mine, well, I wouldn’t mind).

    3. I like my job!

    4. For the longest time, I really disliked mayonnaise and avocado (either together or singly), pepper (which isn’t a food, I know, but I still avoided it like the proverbial plague) and gazpacho, although purely on the principal that soup should never be cold. I’ve tried them all within the last year and found that I had actually been missing out. Escargot, however, that one I was right on the money about: Tasted like eating rubber bands out of the bottom of the garden.

  11. 1. The Guildhall at SMU University. Any geek’s dream come true.
    4. Guacamole. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get past the fact that it has the look and consistency of snot.

  12. 3. Having my own desk again!! Since we have a second trainee next to me I have to share it :(

  13. 1. Italy to study architecture and painting.

    2. The party would be held at the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia. Not an appetizing place, but all food served must be a recipe from the Joy of Cooking. All current and former living game show hosts should be invited.

    3. I would give the people I work with personalities.

    4. I really want to like asparagus, but to me it tastes like licking sweaty armpits. Also tomatoes. Life would be much easier if I liked tomatoes.

  14. #4:

    I used to like eggs in all sorts of forms. I remember being about five and my dad making me scrambled eggs with cheese. For some reason, though, over the years I have lost my taste for them except in deviled egg form.

    I can tolerate them in fried rice but if the pieces are too large and I can taste the egg, bleh, it’s horrible!

  15. #4:

    I don’t like fish either, of any kind. I have had tuna sandwiches before but I have to mix in enough mayo and relish that I can’t taste the tuna so I figured why bother anymore, ha.

  16. 1. Any advanced degree? MFA in poetry, possibly from CUNY. Elaine Equi teaches there. Or, alternately, a MPA in Public Health or Disaster Management.
    2. Mental Floss should host a giant carnival/TED-like seminar thing. Think of it as MentalFlossCon. Guests: MythBusters, an infinite supply of PhD students studying neat stuff, the Exploratorium from SF, Liberty Science Center.
    3. I wish there was a way to telecommute from NY, Edinburgh and Barbados in rotating phases throughout the year: Fall- NY. Winter-Barbados, Summer-Edinburgh. Also, I wish my various freelance gigs were each full time and enough to support that kind of rotating dream life.

  17. #4- I’m at peace with my food dislikes (asparagus, slimy Brie, uni sushi and raspberries)
    I wish I either liked really hoppy IPAs or could figure out exactly what about them I don’t like (the ones that taste like flowers punching you in the face) I’m reacting to- is it a kind of hops? A brewing style?

  18. 1. Gemological Institute of America in Carlsbad, Ca for my Graduate Gemologist certification. I want to be a diamond buyer.

    2. Some hip loft party with strange cocktails and foods from around the world. There would have to be a scavenger hunt or quiz bowl involved somehow. it would be a hipster/nerd affair.
    Andy Richter would attend, because the question reminded me of that Arrested development episode. And philip defranco from youtube. he’s funny.

    3. I honestly wish I had more responsibility at work. I have so little to do, when I’m given an assignment I have no momentum. I’d like to learn more about my field as well.

    4. Mushrooms and olives. They are the only things I won’t eat.

  19. 1 – I would go to RADA in London and do some of their intensive courses. Ideally I would marry Patrick Stewart (as he’d probably hear of my performances and fall in love with me) and be known not only for my great acting ability, but also for bagging Jean Luc Picard.

    2- My idea for an epic anniversary re-launch party: the venue would be an old museum somewhere, ideally in an exhibit room, with a live jazz band playing away beside an ancient mummy or dinosaur skeleton. Guests could wander freely around the space and the “learning” aspect of the exhibit makes for easy mingling and interesting conversation among everyone. Fresh whites and bold reds would flow freely from a bar that also had various beers from around the world, and I’d make sure there were food stations along with servers who could walk through the crowd. Food would be simple and flavourful hors d’oeuvres – great cheeses, breads, dips, meatballs, pastry puffs, shrimp…the list is endless! A chocolate fountain could appear near the end of the night and, hell, we could even throw in a ‘chip table’ too with assorted chips and Cheetos. Small touches would include napkins and plates printed with trivia facts, as well as goodie take-home bags with a few copies of the magazine, a book and/or a t-shirt.

    There would also be a life-sized wax model of Albert Einstein in front of some laser-themed backdrop and a professional photographer to take pictures. Think “traditional prom photo” but with you and Albert zooming through laser-space.

    3- I’d like to become the office Event Planner, apparently.

    4- Pickles and green peppers. They seem so refreshing and tasty, but I just can’t bring myself to like them.

  20. 1. London to study advertising.

    2. I don’t know much about throwing parties, so I’ll leave it up to some of the great suggestions posted here.

    3. I wouldn’t mind actually being a salaried employee. Right now I’m only a temp.

    4. I despise anything made with vinager or cabagge. It tastes so awful to me I can’t even try to like them.

  21. 1 – MIT or Brown to study advanced theoretical physics. Which would require several math and physics undergrad courses, for refreshers if nothing else.

    2 – I’m, um, not sure I can top Jenny’s there. But, replace the jazz band with Jonathan Coulton/Paul and Storm. And/or MC Frontalot. Also, party favors of the cover pages to impressive-sounding dissertations with Paul Erdos’ name next to yours. And invite Kevin Bacon while filming the whole thing. The entire group’s Erdos and Bacon numbers would be set to 1!

    3 – Make it closer to home. The commute is killing me.

    4 – There are foods I dislike (most squashes, sweet potatoes, etc.), but nothing I refuse to eat. Oddly enough, though, I’m extremely picky about sodas. No Coke, no Pepsi, no diet version of either, no 7-Up or Sprite, no orange or grape soda. I will tolerate ginger ale, Dr. Pepper, and Mt. Dew (lost my taste for that after college). The only sodas I really enjoy are root beer and birch beer, and certain odd ones (like some peach). Needless to say, I stick with water at most parties…

    (And, on cue, my CAPTCHA is “water all”.)

  22. 1. I would go to any ivy league college, preferably Princeton. I would keep my same major of English.
    2. If I were to plan a party for Mental Floss, it would be set in Central Park. We would eat mini burgers and you could throw in Cheetos if you wanted to. I would be sure to invite the Seinfeld crew.
    4. I’ve tried catfish once. It was good, but I’ve been scared to eat it ever since. I worry that it might not taste the same.

  23. 1. Chef

    2. No idea

    3. Bureaucracy – Everything here has to be done by means of a lot of formats. I understand the need of controlling processes and all that but should be a limit.

    4. Apio. Don’t know the english translation, google says it’s celery

  24. 1) I would study archeology in meso america.

    3) I would change the pressure factor. It would be great if I was not held accountable for things I cannot control. Like acts of God. It would also be nice if I had a new person as a boss. There are certain things that only he can do, but he is NEVER here. Maybe 4 days a month.

    4) Raisens. I hate raisens. I wish I loved them because they are always in trail mixes, oatmeal cookies and other delicious looking recipes. But they are so gross!

  25. 1. I would study the beaches of the world. Mostly the sounds and the smells. All research done while laying under an umbrella with eyes closed in order to block out distractions.
    2. I can’t tell you what the party would look like because I can never come up with any ideas… but I am so afraid to let you down, that whatever it turns out to be, it will be so awesome even I won’t be able to believe it!
    3. I would allow me to work from home.
    4. Okra. Ick. The texture, the taste. Ick.

    recapthca is inlaw cryings (is that because I am going to visit them tonight?)

  26. 1. Culinary school in France.

    2. What would it look like? I suspect it might look like a Dungeons and Dragons gathering sans costumes. Where would it be: There’d be a game / list of clues in the invite to figure out the location. What would you eat: Well, considering I’m a food nerd, it’d be good stuff. No pop rocks and soda. C-List celebrities: Will Shortz. Mainly so I could actually hear him speak without the weird mouth and microphone noises he makes during the Sunday Puzzle podcast.

    3. Hmm…I dig my job so…I suppose I’d say that my dog, Little Filthy, could come along with me into the office.

    4. Dark Chocolate. Blech.

  27. 1) Royal Botanical Gardens Kew or Royal Botanical Gardens Edinburgh to study anything to to do with plants, botany plant history. My Great Uncle graduated from Kew in 1920′s

  28. 3. I should be allowed to slap people who use the elevator to go down one floor.

  29. 4) must echo the comment about bananas!! evil fruit

  30. 1. The Costume Institute at the Met, working with all the old textiles.
    3. Closer to home, I hate commuting nearly an hour. Also the construction going on across the street needs to go away.
    4. Just the thought of tomato soup and puddings make me want to gag, there is something about the consistency. And Jell-O, it just isn’t natural for food to move like that!

  31. 1. I’d study music at Julliard.
    2. I’d throw a Game Show themed party. There would be mini recreations of popular game shows situated around, along with a never-ending supply of wine & cheetos. And Alex Trebek would be my special guest.
    3. I would be able to order Post-It notes. Seriously, we can’t order them here.

    reCaptcha: $10 mango. I like mangoes at least…
    4. Beans & Nuts. I can’t stand them. The only things I’ll eat are snow peans or green beans. Any other kind is a big no.

  32. snow peans? make that peas.. it’s definitely a Friday!

  33. 1. Culinary school. I’m currently in college studying chemistry, but I wish I had gone to culinary school instead. Food smells so much better than organic solvents.

    2. I like the idea for brain food-inspired canapes. Very creative. Alex Trebek should definitely be invited to serve as the emcee of a trivia contest. And, as favors, little packages of dental floss with the mental_floss logo on them.

    3. Meh, my job is okay, but not very challenging for me anymore. I would like to be given more responsibilities. I should probably be careful what I wish for.

    4. Bananas. I always used to eat them, despite the fact that I really didn’t like them, just because they’re pretty darn ubiquitous. I’ve finally come to my senses, and now I don’t eat them.

  34. 4. I’m not too picky as long as its vegetarian, but I can absolutely can not eat olives and any mushroom besides cooked portabellas. And rye bread/caraway seeds. They make me gag.

  35. 1. I would go to Israel and study Krav Maga, the military martial arts there. It’s designed to help you take on multiple attackers holding weapons while you are unarmed. I’ve always wanted to be Chuck Norris.
    2. No Idea
    3. I would make the floor an inflatable moon bounce. How could work not be fun if you’re bouncing to the accounting department instead of walking?
    4. Fois Gras. It tastes disgusting and everyone says it is a delicacy but it just tastes like spam that has gone bad.

  36. 4. Shellfish or mussels of any sort. The taste, texture, smell, and idea of them turns my stomach. I’ve always been a picky eater, but have worked on expanding my range lately. But I just can’t bring myself to eat these. Lobster, crab, clams: blegh!

  37. 1) Archaeology at Oxford in England- lovely!

    2) I’m with Dave- I’m a terrible party hostess, but it’d probably involve lots of champagne and at least a chocolate fountain…

    3) Less conference calls and free snacks. Well I guess that’s two, so probably less conference calls or maybe the current number of super boring and redundant conference calls with free snacks (specifically gummy fruit snacks of assorted varieties).

    4) Lox. I LOVE salmon grilled, broiled, baked, or raw (as sushi, of course) but I can’t stand when it’s smoked. Ick!

  38. 1. University of Nebraska, Lincoln to get my PhD in Ed. Psych.
    2. Ooooh…cheese, crackers and meat. A very social and laidback afair. Congrats, btw, on the launch!
    3. The one thing I would change about my GED job is the fact that we get funding CUT if the posttests aren’t done, not if the student graduates. It’s ridiculous,because last year we had a record amount of hard working graduates, and we still got funding cut by 8%. Plus, they federal law for Welfare was changed so that GED can’t be counted toward looking for a job. They want people to go out and get a job, which is great…however, in 6 months, they quit because it’s the type of job you get with no education, and they’re right back to being on welfare. *whew* Okay, off my soapbox!
    4. I second coleslaw. Soupy coleslaw!

  39. I don’t know where but I would love to study photography or culinary arts. I would definably change the location of my job…I have to drive an hour to get here then an hour to drive home. And yogurt…gross…I have tried it 100 times thinking it looks like it should be good and I just don’t like it!

  40. 1. I don’t care what I’d study just as long it was at UCLA or one of the big Florida schools so I could watch the Co-Eds all day long

    2. Out back of the Ommegang Brewery near Cooperstown, NY. Great Beer and we could get B-B-Q from Brooks.

    3. Make everyone accountable for their actions

    4. Mushrooms and Coffee. I absolutely hate mushrooms but my wife loves them so she makes them all of the time. as for coffee I love the smell of it brewing but just can’t stand the taste.

  41. 1. Philosophy at Oxford. Ideally, I’d like to travel back in time to study under Jowett or Spooner :), but I digress…

    2) The brewpub at Stone Brewing in Escondido. you’d never know its in an auto park. They’ve got a giant firepit, water features, and some of the most knowledgeable brewers around.

    3) I love my job, actually.

    4) Raw tomatoes. I’ve tried for years to get over it, but I just can’t stand them.

  42. 1. Even though I would never do anything with it, I would love to attend NYU for a masters in theatre or literature. On a more practical level, I’d go to Columbia for a dual masters program in nursing/midwifery and public health.

    2. I’m definitely more of a guest than a hostess, but trivia would be a must, as well as good beer.

    3. Mandatory siesta. Every job should block off daily naptime.

    4. Asparagus. I can’t get over the smell. EW.

  43. I wouldn’t recommend cheetos, at least not the jalapenos kind:

    http://www.end-happy.com/?p=42

  44. 1. A school of landscape design to become a golf course architect.

    2. Chuck-E-Cheese

    3. Disco Balls

    4. Caseroles. I can like all of the ingredients individually but, when they’re mixed together I can’t stand them.

  45. For #2, I’m thinking definitely the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History or American History, or if you want to be practical, the American Museum of Natural History in NYC. And there would have to be a big, awesome scavenger hunt where you have to answer questions based on the exhibit, or perhaps a giant game of trivial pursuit combined with a scavenger hunt… divide into teams and find pieces of the pie (AKA, really hard questions) hidden throughout the museum. Oooooh. I can’t cater, but I can organize games. Let me know ;)

    Celebrities: Andy Richter is a good one. Michael Ian Black? And Stephen Moyer, just to make Allison and me happy.

  46. 1) I would study library science
    2) Too many ideas-most which revolve around candy
    3) Remote worker
    4) just about any vegan cheese-just not the same

  47. 1. I already had a similar moment when I was accepted to UCLA as a 30-something with a full scholarship… but, I’d go again in a heartbeat. I’ll take an advanced math and physics degree at Princeton.

    2. em… I am not a party person, much less a planner…BUT… rent a warehouse and have some non-irritating bands play, a good dj, a 60′s gogo dancer, and a vegan chef to make the food.

    3. I am already an entertainment graphic artist, but I would opt for more challenging work. I like that.

    4. Brussels sprouts–no matter how they are cooked, they taste weird. Not like a vegetable should taste. Like some sort of tree leaf might taste.

  48. 4. Tofu, though that may not count because I don’t think it actually is food.

  49. 1) I don’t know if this for-real qualifies but I would love to backpack across Europe and somehow incorporate Art History into that. Or gain my TEFL certification teaching at a Phillipine orphanage.
    2)I think if I did a “relaunch” party for mental floss it would be a costume party. Everyone would have to be someone who was featured in the magazine at one point or another. Or a taboo art party. Those are always fun.
    3) Coconut! I hate coconut, which is a shame cause it is so beautiful in cakes :(

  50. 1. I would love to get my MFA in lighting design at either NYU or Northwestern. It’s what I studied as an undergrad but I know I’m never going to make a living at it. I can’t justify spending thousands of dollars on a degree that won’t do me much practical good.

    3. I would like more hours, not because of more money though that would be nice, but because I’m a teen librarian and I’m trying to build up teen programs and services and it’s really hard to do that with my current half time position. :(

    4. I keep hating eggplant. I try it again every once in a while but I still can’t stand it.

    Recaptcha: special fusions

  51. 3. I would start voting people off of the island. Nasty, mean-spirited attitudes are really draining me.

  52. 1) Ohio State University, ideally to study PoliSci. However, if I wanted to actually do something with the degree from there, I’d be in the business field, with a photography minor.

    2) The party would definitely be in a museum, and would be a tapas affair. Lots of little bite-sized food at lots of different stations, throughout the main room, to promote “mingling.” The food would all be cooked in a high-tech way, though- frozen with liquid nitrogen, etc. Molecular gastronomy. It would be cool to see it all done in front of the guests, as well.

    3) I would completely redo my company’s databases. Ugh.

    4) Eggs. They look delicious, and evidently I’m good at cooking them, but regardless of how they’re prepared, I just don’t like them. Green or otherwise.

  53. 1. I would just like to be able to take classes on my schedule, not the school’s or the instrctors’. And the classes would break off for a week or so while I’m out of town, so I don’t have to catch up after I return. Schedules are so confining.

    2. Since we all live all over the place and all of us can’t come to whatever relaunch party you dream up, how about having lots of parties everywhere? Different cities could have parties hosted by us on your behalf. We could each pick an appropriate site – museum, college, bar, or wherever we can have a party for free – invite all the local savvy Flossers to bring their favorite brain food or beverage, and if there are no celebrities available, we can bring cardboard cutouts of Albert Einstein or
    our favorite Mental-Floss writer for photo-ops. If you guys create a trivia game or brain games, etc.for your party, you can send them to the organizers of the remote parties so everyone can enjoy them. At the remote sites, we could add in some local trivia to customize the game. Maybe provide a few t-shirts for prizes. And Mental-Floss posters for decorations (maybe downloadable ones?). You could schedule it for Pi day in 2010 for the 10th anniversary of your first launch. (That’s also Albert Einstein’s b-day.) Or if you are bound to hold a 9th anniversary launch party, how about on 09/09/09? Too soon? 11/07/09 is Marie Curie’s b-day. Or choose some other significant day. Also, in addition to C-list celebrities, since it’s the 9th (or 10th) anniversary, you could invite the 9th (or 10th, as appropriate) person to do a famous thing – like walk on the moon – or to do a flossy thing – like place 9th in the National Scrabble Championship or something like that.

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