As a science writer, I occasionally get random unsolicited pitches, announcements, and deep thoughts from scientists and science buffs. Most of the time they’re either irrelevant or slightly touched by insanity, but I do try to read them. So this email, which just appeared in my inbox, seemed to be one of those at first:

Physics is often said to be the “fundamental science” (chemistry is sometimes included), because each of the other sciences (biology, chemistry, geology, material science, engineering, medicine etc.) deals with particular types of material systems that obey the laws of physics. For example, chemistry is the science of matter (such as atoms) and the chemical substances that they form in the bulk. …
So far, so good.

… When another inexorably radioactive sandwich is hardly proverbial, a ridiculously gentle warranty barely takes a peek at another salad dressing around the chess board. …
Now, physicists are a weird bunch; I don’t always understand what they’re talking about, so maybe the salad dressing playing chess is some kind of metaphor for string theory that I’m not getting? And Radioactive Sandwich is in fact a band.

… Discoveries in physics find applications throughout the other natural sciences as they regard the basic constituents of the Universe. …
So true, so true.

… Any earring can take a peek at a muddy wedding dress, but it takes a real inferiority complex to laugh and drink all night with a hockey player around a short order cook.

I give up. Freakin’ spammers.