So we’re drafting for mental_floss Fantasy Football tonight (physical_floss).
I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m taking suggestions via Twitter and thoroughly researching each one. My husband is delighted that this might be the year I finally get into and understand football. However, if I were playing it the way I pick horses – whose name is the coolest, whose colors I like best, prettiest horse – these would be some of my potential picks. (Don’t worry, I’m not really picking them this way.)
1. QB: Tom Brady, duh. I mean, hello?! He’s the prettiest horse by a long shot. But if I was drafting based on ISU loyalty, my pick would totally go to Seneca Wallace. Right now it’s all we have to cling to at Iowa State. “But remember when we had Seneca, how good we were…?”
2. Running back: Adrian Peterson, also because he is cute. I mean, the Adrian Peterson everyone is talking about, not the Bears’ Adrian Peterson. He is not as cute. Also, A-Pete broke his collarbone during a 2006 ISU/Oklahoma game. Granted, he broke it diving into the end zone, so I should probably hold that against him, but it’s not like we ever beat Oklahoma anyway so it doesn’t really matter.
3. My other RB pick would be LaDainian Tomlinson, for two reasons. One, he seems like a good guy. And two, he married the cousin of a girl that my husband works with, and he’s in Des Moines from time to time. Apparently he really likes it because no one here recognizes him and he can go about his business without too much hoopla. Also, he’s pretty easy on the eyes, despite his apparent love of velour tracksuits.
4. For a wide receiver: T.O. because I like his touchdown celebrations.
5. WR #2: Hank Baskett because I like his name (Henry, not Hank) and because I think he’s cute with Kendra. Hank loses points, however, because he has creepy chest hair.
6. I’m torn about this one, but ultimately my state loyalty is going to win out over my school loyalty. You have to understand, if you go to Iowa State, you hate the University of Iowa football team. Unless you’re a freak of nature like my friend Mason. Anyway. I have to go with Chargers kicker Nate Kaeding because he’s from the state, even though he was a Hawk and not a Cyclone. He gets my support because not many players who are actually from Iowa go on to play in the NFL, and Kaeding is from Iowa City born and bred. And he continues to have close ties to the state, even though he lives in California now. He writes a movie column for The Corridor, an entertainment website for the Iowa City area, and he opened an IC restaurant last year that serves Iowa-based products, including Templeton Rye whiskey, local produce, and beef raised just 20 miles away.
7. From what I can tell about Redskins tight end Chris Cooley, he might be a little full of himself (Is that accurate or not?). But his hair and his tiny shorts amuse me, and this is really cool:
8. Another pick for WR would be Larry Fitzgerald, but not because he’s #1 in some of the polls. It’s because I like his story – he was ball boy for the Vikings when he was a teenager, and now he plays in the league (Arizona Cardinals, if you’re not in the know). That’s pretty cool. His dad is a sports reporter, and I like that, and I also feel sorry for the dude. Why? Because he’s on the cover of Madden 2010. And you know what happens to players who grace the cover of the doomed video game, right? All I’m saying to my other physical_flossers is that you might want to consider that…
9. Defense: The Eagles, but not for the reason you think. Mostly it’s another ISU-loyalty thing: Ellis Hobbs. I’m also tempted to pick the Bengals, because I like Dhani Jones and his show on the Travel Network, Dhani Tackles the Globe. He’s not modest, but he is cute:
My prediction for the physical_floss season? Allison is going to kick all of our butts. Do you have any tips for me? Is that considered cheating? I don’t know. But I do know that you will be hearing a lot of trash talk from all of us in the very near future. Stay tuned.
Comments (18)
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You might be onto something here. Your choices, performance-wise, aren’t bad at all. Philip Rivers is progressing, and that means a more spread defense, giving LT more open lanes when he gets the ball. I can see Nate Kaeding kicking a lot for San Diego too.
T.O. is going to the the #1 receiver in Buffalo, so let’s hope he doesn’t drop as many as he did in Dallas.
Cooley is a great choice for TE, but with Moss and Randel El running the out routes and Portis blasting the middle, he will more than likely be blocking more often this year.
Eagles defense…I hope that they’re as good as they were with Ol’ Jim on the mic.
Larry Fitz is too damn tall. Him and Bolden on opposite ends will force man coverage on at least one, causing lots of long receptions.
Peterson is just a beast…period
Let’s hope Brady stays healthy, and his knee doesn’t agitate him.
Finally, I’m surprised you didn’t put Reggie Bush on the list. I’m not attracted to men at all, but what can I say? The guy looks good. HAHA
posted by Steven on 8-26-2009 at 3:53 pm
this is how girls ruin football
posted by john on 8-26-2009 at 4:08 pm
What about Sage Rosenfels for a QB? He was a Cyclone too…
posted by Mike on 8-26-2009 at 4:22 pm
john- you are no fun. boy ruin it by insulting females. my first year all the boys kept offering me trades of their kicker for my #1 QB and #1 RB. i denied them and won the league. i can hold my own in any fantasy league thank you very much.
and this year, i think i’ll draft plaxico…him and jerome bettis..maybe tiger woods. amazing athletes the three of them ;)
posted by erinbrianne on 8-26-2009 at 4:47 pm
I am playing in my husband’s league and I actually DID pick my entire team based on if I liked the sound of their name. It was a blast picking guys like Alge Crumpler and Amani Toomer
posted by Georgia on 8-26-2009 at 4:59 pm
John, like I said, I’m not REALLY drafting that way. Just having a little fun.
posted by stacy on 8-26-2009 at 5:00 pm
I’m a girl and a HUGE football fan. I liked the way you picked your players. Football is fun, boys. It’s a FANTASY league…not real life. : )
posted by Ashley on 8-26-2009 at 6:27 pm
BUAHAHA! Erin, you had me going for a second. “Plaxico? wait, isn’t he incarcer…BETTIS?! Whoa whoa, TI…tiger….I see what you did there.”
And another thing. Stacy, you really SHOULD draft that way if you pick names like that. You have an amazing lineup there believe it or not.
posted by Steven on 8-26-2009 at 6:31 pm
In reference to John’s comment, I just wanted to say that I’m 3rd in my fantasy baseball league and preparing for the fantasy football league draft on sunday. So what if we talk about how cute or creepy players may be? In the end, we go with the better player, not the one with the less creepy chest hair. Most of the time, anyway.
That being said, there will never be a NY Yankee on my fantasy baseball team, simply on principal. As for fantasy football, the Eagles can suck it this season. Also on principal.
posted by nikki on 8-26-2009 at 6:37 pm
This is how john ruins the comment board.
posted by Sammy on 8-26-2009 at 8:17 pm
All solid picks. Although Dhani Jones plays for the Bengals now, the Eagles have a better defense…so stick with the pick.
posted by Jeremy on 8-26-2009 at 9:02 pm
6 is too early to pick a kicker, especially if you’re not going after one of the top ones.
posted by PartiallyDeflected on 8-26-2009 at 10:05 pm
There’s nothing wrong with using personalities to pick your team. If given the choice I would take Peyton Manning over a higher ranked QB (not that there are many).
The commercials he does always make me laugh, the fact he does them tells me he must be a great guy.
I’d prefer to cheer for the guy that supports a charity (like Reggie Bush) over a player that has been court ordered to support a charity (Michael Vick).
posted by Mark on 8-27-2009 at 1:45 am
Nothing personal, but I think this posting is more suited for Facebook than MFloss.
posted by Ian on 8-27-2009 at 8:15 am
What’s funny is that if you actually did pick this way…other than Hank Baskett and LT…I don’t think you’re team would be that bad.
posted by Patten on 8-27-2009 at 11:30 am
Nor would your team.
posted by Patten on 8-27-2009 at 11:30 am
@Ian! You and John are facebook friends, aren’t you?! Now just admit it! Here’s a hug for both of you!!!!
posted by Hyacinth on 8-27-2009 at 11:37 am
@Mark
Vick wasn’t court ordered to support a charity of any kind. Vick did that (probably from the advice of his agent) on his own. Philadelphia has a big problem with dog fighting, and Mike is the perfect face for the program. IMO, Vick did it to save face.
posted by Steven on 8-27-2009 at 1:09 pm