Comments on: This just in: being a Neanderthal sucked

By: Storm

Storm — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 17:12:16 +0000

“falling down a ravine with your delicious-looking buddy”. Hehe. Well put. Actually that makes me think of athletes stranded in the Andes after plain crashes. If one was to look for similarities between modern man and Neanderthals, a group of isolated football players would be a good place to start. And we all know they start eating each other after waiting a couple of days for a rescue party.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 16:45:27 +0000

Thank goodness-gracious cannibalism for the purpose of sustenance is rare nowadays. But research into the likeliest spots, ie ones swirling with rumors and “1st hand accounts,” have turned up nothing from credible anthropologists. Places like Papua, New Guinea, with an awful rep for munchin folks served as nothing but a gossip hotspot with rival tribes regaling scientists with cannibal stories intending to besmirch each other.
Honestly, Neanderthals weren’t dotarded. They were advanced to the point of caring for the aged and infirm as well as displaying a possible belief in the afterlife. I would bet they would resort to cannibalism as we would – as a dire last resort in time of crisis. And general weather crumminess isn’t a crisis. I mean “crisis” like, falling down a ravine with your delicious-looking buddy and exhausting every other possibility.
But the earliest species, like Ardipithecus, maybe did it, if we model their behavior on chimps.

By: Storm

Storm — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 16:37:25 +0000

Cannibalism for the purpose of sustenance may be awfully rare nowadays, but I don’t see why it should have been the least bit rare a few dozen millenia ago. They didn’t have agriculture after all and probably very little means of food storage. All kinds of things happen regularly in nature which causes a low availability of jummy mammal meat in a given region.

I read once that the average life expectency of a Neanderthal was 19. Although that sounds a bit low to my ears it is fairly certain that life was depressing enough to warrant a bit of hope of help from the ancestors.

By: Sandy

Sandy — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 06:30:45 +0000

Being a Neanderthal may have sucked… but they saved a lot of money on their car insurance.

“Looks like someone got up on the wrong side of the rock this morning.”

By: Amanda

Amanda — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 19:58:59 +0000

Cannibalism for the purpose of sustenance is awfully rare, usually in cases of the most extreme duress. Not that Neanderthals weren’t under duress – FMHs were bout to take over their block and it was cold and shitty, etc. But as Neanderthals possibly present the earliest manifestation of religion, I’d bet my skrillah on spiritually significant cannibalism. Maybe ancestor worship. The 1st deliberate burials were executed by Neanderthals at Shanidar Cave in Iraq, found covered with flower pollen. So it’s probable they had some concept of an afterlife which may have come part-n-parcel with a taboo on human consumption save for the literal internalization of a family member. How’s that?