Andy Rooney is in the news this week, distancing himself from a viral list of offensive statements attributed to him. We’ve compiled a short list of actual Andy Rooney quotes, slightly less inflammatory.

“There are an incredible number of ads for watches in newspapers and magazines, so people must buy a lot of them.”

“I pass stores all the time with windows full of expensive watches. I think a lot of women wear watches as jewelry. ”

“I like the names Sri Lanka and Sierra Leone, but I couldn’t point to either one of them on a map.”

“Everyone’s favorite Girl Scout Cookie is the Thin Mints.”

“The funny thing about an expensive watch is, it doesn’t keep any better time than a cheap watch.

“A lot of interesting city names begin with T. Tacoma, Tucson, Tulsa, Tuscaloosa, Terre Haute, Toledo, Topeka.”

“I wear a cheap watch. Not a lot of extra stuff on the face. Keeps perfect time. The only time I reset it is every few years when I put in a new battery. I wear it face down.”

“Why would anyone go to Poland to get a dog? How do you say ‘Here Boy!’ in Polish, anyway?”

“I don’t like metal watchbands, my wrist hairs get caught in it.”