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Pity the poor passenger who recently grounded an American Airlines flight thanks to an excessive amount of — hmm, how to say this politely — farting. Apparently suffering from an unspecified medical condition, she attempted to hide the smell by lighting matches, which is illegal on planes for obvious reasons. Besides being a bad idea in a common-sense kind of way (ie, lighting matches on planes might arouse suspicion), it turns out that lighting one’s farts can be an extremely dangerous activity in and of itself.
A survey from a few years back indicated that about a quarter of people who tried to light their flatulence (or, if you want to get fancy, their flatus) got burned doing it. It’s possible to be seriously injured: there have been cases of the flame backing up into the colon and causing internal burns. (It’s the same reason you don’t want to drop lit matches into suspicious-looking puddles at the gas station.) What’s more, it’s been reported that as many as a third of burn-related hospital visits by males aged 13 to 20 are fart-burn-related. (Could this really be true? Sure, if the internet says so.)
“Internal burns”?! Wouldn’t that also be dangerous for my pet gerb…Oops! never mind!
posted by Sheldon Siegel on 12-8-2006 at 10:26 am
I remember a scene in the movie “Enemy At The Gates” where some Russian soldiers were blowing a candle out with their farts. That always seemed to me a little absurd, since most people holding a flame to their rear would be trying to do the opposite.
posted by Dave on 12-8-2006 at 10:39 am
Oh, and as for the lady with the matches on the American flight, how embarrassing to have that come out after the unscheduled landing, the clearing of the plane, the drug dogs, etc… Sounds like a scene from a bad sitcom. Fessing up right away would’ve been slightly embarrassing, but for her to go for the gold and hold out until they had her cornered… Brother.
The funny thing is that if she had been seated next to a guy, all she would’ve had to do is give him a funny look and everyone around would’ve attributed the stench to him, not her. They always blame the guy.
posted by Dave on 12-8-2006 at 10:45 am
Sadly I’m afraid the fart-related burn victims, much like spontaneous combustion are cases of urban legend. I remember a film from… Jugoslavia, I think, which was on tv when I was a kid, in which a guy died from lighting his rectal fumes on fire in a tavern. It impressed everyone who had seen it greatly and questions were asked in science class.
I think that throwing people off planes for starting fires in the bathroom is a good thing, regardless of their good intentions.
posted by Storm on 12-9-2006 at 10:35 am
No, the internal fart burn thing is real, but rare. It happened to my older sister’s karate teacher (’s roomate’s taxidriver.)
posted by Luna on 2-25-2008 at 4:05 am