Look, call me a traditionalist, but when it comes to toothpaste, I want mint. Fresh mint, spearmint, minty-mint; I don’t care, but I want mint. The makers of these 10 toothpastes, mouthwashes and flosses would surely call me old-fashioned, but I can’t help myself. Maybe they’ll appeal to you.

1. Indian Curry. I love curry, but I’m not sure I want to brush my teeth with it. This flavor was sold by a company called Breath Palette, which offered 31 flavors of toothpaste for your enjoyment. It would appear that they are only offering 18 of those flavors at the moment, not including the Indian Curry. Maybe it wasn’t a big hit. But it does include…

2. Cola! Usually you brush your teeth to counteract things like Cola, but never fear: it doesn’t contain any actual soda. You’re mostly getting that flavor due to the way the toothpaste smells. “Because our sense of smell is responsible for about 80% of what we taste, you experience the flavor for a few fleeting moments before a light, menthol finish,” says the website. Hmm.

3. Creamsicle. Remember those orange and vanilla swirled push pops? I do; I vividly remember eating a whole box of them when I was a kid and getting in big trouble with my mom. She might not have been quite as mad if I had just been excessively brushing my teeth, though, which I may have done if we owned BlingSicle, a toothpaste that tastes like the Creamsicle. It’s made by Tanner’s Tasty Paste, a line of yummy toothpaste for kids invented by a dentist. Other flavors include Cha-Cha Chocolate, Banilla Bling (vanilla ice cream) and BabyBling (vanilla ice ream with no fluoride).

4. Cupcake. While we’re talking sickeningly sweet, let’s talk cupcake-flavored dental floss. Have “A party in your mouth with Cupcake Floss!” It seems the saccharine string tastes more like frosting and less like cake.

5. Pork. I think this one is just the good people over at InventorSpot having a little fun with us, but I had to include it anyway. You know some toothpaste manufacturer is going to pick up the pigskin and run with it. InventorSpot says if pork isn’t your favorite flavor, don’t worry – they’re working on more flavors like tuna, tomato, brie and asparagus. Mmmmm.

6. Raspberry Mint. Could you gargle with raspberry mint instead of that usual menthol-flavored blue stuff that comes in the ridiculously oversized jug? I’d be tempted to try this because it would look so pretty sitting on my bathroom counter. But that’s not a very good reason to use a mouthwash… is it?
7. Fennel. Tom’s of Maine all-natural toothpaste offers a fennel flavor. Fennel is known for tasting a bit like anise, so if you enjoy the taste of black licorice, you might brushing your teeth with fennel a couple of times a day.
8. Bacon. Archie McPhee asks the question, “Is there anything bacon can’t improve?” And I have to answer… yes. But if your answer is an emphatic No!; the Bacon Floss can be yours for just $4.95.
9. Cranberry. This one actually sounds sort of appealing to me – is that weird? Maybe not a cranberry toothpaste, but the cranberry floss doesn’t sound too bad. It’s a bit pricey at $10.95 for a three-pack, and this Glamour blogger said that while it was definitely tart, she wasn’t sure that she got a real cranberry flavor out of it.

10. Dubble-Bubble. Of course, bubble gum-flavored toothpaste has been around for years. And I don’t like it. But this one doesn’t taste like any old gum; it tastes like Dubble Bubble! Any self-respecting kid knows it has the best burst of sugar of any gum out there. Sugar + floss… what could go wrong?