But it was a great day out!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

That made me laugh so hard. I always wonder if one was possible but I GUESS NOT !

It was a fun place, but so sketchy! I worked mostly on the speed slides and spent my days trying to talk people into taking the leap and consequent 15-foot free-fall before they would crash back onto the slide and get the wedgie of their lives -usually losing all their money at the bottom of the slide in the process. It would disorient them so much that they wouldn’t notice that mad cash had fallen out of their pockets. I would never go down that slide like you were supposed to -it would burn your skin off and was very uncomfortable. Those that worked there would only go down (head-first) on a mat -which was not officially allowed because you would be going so fast that you would practically fly off the thing. That would allow you to avoid the wedgie. It was pretty fun though, precisely because it was dangerous. The rapids ride had strong currents that could suck you down and disorient you in no time.

Also, I was not even certified as a life guard but I was given a “lifeguard” outfit and whistle and often had to fish people out of the water when they were drowning. Tons of the “lifeguards” there were in the same position. I didn’t mind because I was a great swimmer and mostly just had to tell people to “stand up!” when they were floundering around in 3 ft of water at the bottom of some little slide, but I thought it was misleading to call us all lifeguards when we weren’t.

It is true that Action Park would try to get us staff to test out bizarre rides that were were not safe for humans to be on. They bought one stupid “lifeguard” guy lunch in exchange for him test out that black circular looped enclosed water slide that exerted so much g-force on the body that you would almost lose consciousness if you went down it. For anyone familiar with basic physics, there is a reason why roller coasters have oval and not circular loops -whoever thought that circular loop water slide idea up was incredibly stupid. Whatever “engineers” or ride designers who built their rides up must have been completely insane or something. I knew of another poor staff “test rider” who broke their back trying out another new ride. At least that particular ride never got open to the public. It was pretty mean for Action Park to use their minimum wage teenage workers as human guinea pigs, but there would always be some idiot dumb enough to try a new ride.