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Because the Government’s Making You
Naming your baby Brooklynn, America, or Lindsee might be acceptable (if mockable) in the good ol’ US of A, but don’t try a stunt like that in Denmark. Of all the European laws regulating baby names, Denmark’s are the strictest. Danish parents must choose from a state-approved list of 7,000 names, which seems like a lot, until you fall in love with a name that isn’t on there. And bucking the system means months of slogging through a bureaucratic process to get your chosen moniker individually approved by the Names Investigation Department and the Ministry of Ecclesiastical Affairs. Each year, those organizations reject 15 to 20 percent of the names they review—all in the, uh, “name” of protecting the baby’s dignity.
Because You Aren’t As Religious As Your Parents
Forget the hippies, the award for #1 crazy-baby-name subculture absolutely has to go to the Puritans. Well known for burning eccentric neighbors, forcing adulterers to wear colorful letterman jackets, and condemning the concept of “fun” in general, Puritan culture was basically a big ball of repressed wackiness looking for an outlet. Thus, did little Silence, Humiliation, and Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin (i.e. the writing on the wall from the Book of Daniel) pay the price for their parents’ self-flagellation. Some, however, later rebelled. Sometime before 1660, a preacher’s son-turned doctor changed his name from Hath-Christ-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Woudst-Be-Damned Barbone to the more sensible Nicholas Barbon. He went on to found the world’s first insurance company, thus storing up treasures on Earth and probably getting himself in even more trouble with his dad.
For the Sake of A Little Publicity
Between 1965 and 1979, San Francisco painting contractor Bill Holland changed his name no fewer than three times. But Holland’s odyssey wasn’t part of some New Age attempt to find himself. Rather, it was a purely Capitalist scheme. In order to become easily identifiable as the “last name in the phone book” Holland took on the professional pseudonym of Zachary Zzzra. Over the next 15 years, he had to periodically add some “z’s” as first a “Zelda Zzzwramp” and then a “Vladimir Zzzzzzabokov” ostensibly moved to town. By 1979, Holland’s painting contract business could be found under the unwieldy moniker of Zachary Zzzzzzzzzra.
Comments (25)
Comment
Got a link for this list of approved name in Denmark? I tried to look, but it couldn’t the “Ministry of Ecclesiastical Affairs” in English.
posted by Robert on 1-23-2007 at 12:32 pm
I am pretty sure that several European states have official approved names lists. France, Germany and Portugal come to mind; although they are not as restrictive about its use.
Brazil also has a baby name list, but they use it mostly to standardize spellings of common names. Wouldn’t that be nice? How many ways are there to spell Carrie/Kerry/Kari/Keri/Carey/… And the owners of those names always get so offended when you get the wrong variant.
posted by n2y2 on 1-23-2007 at 1:39 pm
It’s a bit tricky, but here’s how to get the list of authorized Danish names. English translations are only available at the top level pages. …It helps that I speak Danish.
1) Go to familiestyrelsen.dk/navne/ (add the www, etc. to the front)
2) On the left, click on Navnelister (”lists of names”)
3) The following options appear as Radio Buttons:
A) Godkendte drengefornavne (5552) - (”authorized boys’ first names”)
B) Godkendte pigefornavne (7662) - (”authorized girls’ first names”)
C) Frie efternavne (165) - (”Free surnames.” A list of of surnames held by 2000+ people, can be taken by anyone)
D) Firma- og kunstnernavne (52) - (”Company and business names”)
E) Udenlandske navne (6318) - (”Foreign names” - traditional foreign names)
Select HTML or CSV format and click on “Vis liste” to display the list.
Good luck / Tillykke
posted by Bryan on 1-23-2007 at 6:49 pm
Hey Robert,
That translation of the Ministry’s name comes from the International Herald Tribune–I’ve inserted the link to the article in the Ministry’s name.
It’s also worth noting that, apparently, many Danes aren’t even aware of these regulations until they happen to choose a name that isn’t on the lists.
Maggie
posted by Maggie on 1-23-2007 at 9:19 pm
How about because a country won’t let you become a citizen?
Spain apparently won’t let a (Brazilian, I think) woman become a citizen because her name is Darling, and they’re afraid she’d be mocked. I found it on an Australian news site through Fark.
Now that’s pretty dumb.
posted by Kate on 1-23-2007 at 10:03 pm
Sweden also has a similar list (and website) to pick names
posted by G on 1-24-2007 at 5:06 am
Hungary has a list like that, too, I believe, as well as a day for every name.
And does anyone else find it difficult to believe that there’s actually a Vladimir Zzzzzzabokov?
posted by Pointy-Hatted Geek on 3-4-2007 at 12:32 am
I descend from two Puritan’s named Cotton and Increase. As a child I always joked “where’s Wool and Decrease?”.
posted by Maddy on 7-26-2007 at 5:17 pm
Wow, My bro-in-law is fron Denmark, I’ll have to ask him about the name thing. His name is pretty normal, Michael.
I’m sure they would NOT like my name in Denmark. I’m French, and even in Canada, (the French speaking parts) they wonder how my parents could have named me my name… It means Cherry’s like the fruit, in French.
I happen to like unique names, to a degree. some people just go too far.
posted by Cherise on 7-26-2007 at 7:32 pm
And in Canada you cannot get a residency permit if your last name is Singh or Kaur - this is a true story that is very big in Indian media these days. So all the Indians with that name (and that’s a LOT - mostly Sikhs) have to legally change their name in their native country before Canadian immigration will deal with them.
By the way I’m from Denmark and the story about the list of pre-approved names is correct. However a person of foreign origin will almost always be free to give a name from their native culture, even if it’s not on the list. After the wave of Muslim immigration started in the 60s and 70s the list has also gradually been expanded to include many typical muslim/arab names such Mohammed, Ali, Fatima etc.
All in all you can call your kid almost what you want, as long as it’s not too wacky.
PS. @Bryan: “”Tillykke” means congratulations, not good luck ;o)
posted by Esben on 7-27-2007 at 12:50 am
This isn’t exactly the same thing, but when I lived in mainland China 1985-1988, during my first semester my students gave me a rather contrived Mandarin name and a chop to back it up as a Christmas present. The name, “Xia Tian Hua,” best translates as either “China Bright China” or “Summer Bright China” (from roughly 200 possibilities).
But a few weeks later, it paid off.
Over Chinese New Year, I took a trip to Yunnan Province in the far South — I lived in Tianjin in the northeast at the time — at at one hotel, the clerk looked at my official, state-issued ID, on which my English name was phonetically transcribed into nonsensical Mandarin. He objected, and asked me my REAL, CHINESE name — though I’m Caucasian and spoke only rudimentary Mandarin. I happened to have my chop with me, and showed that to him. While he puzzled over the unusual moniker, he finally decided since it involved real Mandarin that made at least a bit of sense (as my phonetica name did not), he allowed me to check in.
Can’t blame the Danes, though. Remember “Moon Unit,” poor gal?
Ke-Te Fa-Lan-Sing-Se (the approximate English “re-transcription” of my English name as rendered into Mandarin)
posted by Mekhong Kurt on 7-27-2007 at 2:46 am
France doesn’t have a list per se, but the administration, and eventually the courts have a right to deny a 1st name deemed ridiculous, or not in the child’s “imterest”. Ethnic names are permitted and widely used, but Bozo or Satan would likely be rejected!
posted by cohjesplux on 7-27-2007 at 10:33 am
What ever happened to ‘a rose by any other name’?
posted by Tressa on 7-28-2007 at 2:44 am
Sounds pretty police state-ish to me. And the Dane’s probably don’t even realize it.
posted by Jamie on 7-30-2007 at 2:49 am
I’m Spanish which I recenty became and I had no trouble at all, my name is pretty rare if I ever came across someone with my name, I will be too freaked out. It’s ‘weirder’ than Darling and there’s no problem with my name. This story is not true. I’ve heard of people called Kevin Costner(first names) Garcia (not nationalized Spanish but native Spanish). There are Bosnian names,Russian, English Argentinian names which are from Germany, Poland, Russia, Italy, France etc, and a popular singer is half English and Spanish, Enrique Bunbury, Osborne is now a traditional Spanish name (going back to the 18th century when an Englishman named Osborne created a sherry factory in Spain and his descendants have been here since.)
This Brazilian woman was denied for something else.
posted by Anni on 9-11-2007 at 3:35 am
I am a Spaniard and I confirm what Anni said: No news has appeared in Spain about someone called Darling which has been denied Spanish nationality. If it has been denied to such a person, there will be another reason.
Actually, in Spain there is not a “name-list”, but the Registers for newborns (nationalized people and name-changers) are in charge of a judge who can deny a name on the basis of lack of respect towards the baby, or confussion (you cannot have two babies with the same name, or give a boy a name which is clearly identified as femenine or reverse).
Actually there are people with names in Spanish as in other languages (Spanish and foreigner ones).
You can see the most common names (and family names) in Spain in www.ine.es/daco/daco42/nombyapel/nombyapel.htm
posted by Fernando on 9-11-2007 at 9:38 am
The Catholic church does put restrictions on baby names. Years ago my cousin’s “half-baked” husband wanted to name their frist-born son Cochise (like the Indian Chief). There was no objection with NJ state birth certificate, but the Catholic church refused to baptise him unles his name was changed to a Christian name. So they changed it to Michael Cochise.
They subsequently had a set of twin boys and they named them Frank James and Jessie James to avoid the same problem. Did I say that the father is a “whack-job”???
posted by Ron on 9-14-2007 at 7:36 am
The comment about people with the names Singh and Kaur was true – sort of. It was the policy of the Immigration Office in New Delhi for the last 10 years to require applicants to pick a less common name as an identifier since Singh and Kaur are very common. This was an administrative convenience(?) and thankfully that ‘policy’ has been repealed.
posted by CJ on 12-20-2007 at 6:26 am
I dunno, some name regulation may not be all bad. I went to school in what could be called “the ghetto” and some of the names you heard there were difficult to pronounce and damn near impossible to spell. Add to that all the kitschy names that are in vogue and their myriad of possible spellings and its no wonder some countries want an official list!
But, I have to admit, my great-grandparents had some of the more original names I’ve heard: Gernie Delmar and Gladys Arzula!
posted by Sarah on 12-20-2007 at 10:43 am
There are other reasons to change your name; for instance, if in the phonebook your name appears as “Polish, Harry” and prompts bored silly teenagers to ring you looking for a one Polish Harry. Or if you’re poetic and the scansion of your first and last name produces a monotonous ugly set of six stressed syllables in a row, and it kills you that there’s no lyricism to your name… then you may want to reflect the rhythm in your life and change your name to something like J.Soul.
posted by J.Soul on 12-20-2007 at 11:09 am
I read that the Puritans would sometimes name their children by opening the bible at random and pointing blindly at the page, giving the child as a name the word their finger landed on. I gave it a shot, using bible.com, and my future Puritan child will be named According. It could be worse. In the same verse (Leviticus 5:10) the baby could have been “Burnt”, “Sinned” or “Him” (rather unfortunate if she was a girl).
posted by Jessie on 12-20-2007 at 12:05 pm
I was lucky, my Grandfather and Uncle were named Augustus, with no middle name. My father was named Bob. My son got my first name, but to avoid the “Junior” moniker he got a middle name.
posted by gus on 12-20-2007 at 1:46 pm
No names based on days in Italy.
Italian Child Cannot Be Named Friday
By ALESSANDRA RIZZO – 1 day ago
ROME (AP) — Friday’s child is loving and giving — but not if he lives in Italy.
Italian judges forbade a couple from naming their son Friday, saying it would bring the child shame and ridicule to be named after the character in “Robinson Crusoe.”
“They thought that it recalled the figure of a savage, thus creating a sense of inferiority and failing to guarantee the boy the necessary decorum,” the couple’s lawyer, Paola Rossi, said Wednesday.
Mara and Roberto Germano, whose son was born on Sept. 3, 2006, had the boy named and baptized Venerdi, Italian for Friday.
Even though the boy was not born on a Friday — it was Sunday — his parents liked the name, said Rossi.
“They wanted an unusual name, something original, and it did not seem like a shameful name,” Rossi said in a telephone interview. “We think it calls to mind the day of the week rather than the novel’s character.”
Since City Hall officials are obliged by law to report odd names, the matter ended up before judges in Genoa, the northern Italian city where the couple live.
Last month, an appeals court stated that Friday falls into the category of the “ridiculous or shameful” names that are barred by law, because it recalled the native servant in Daniel Defoe’s novel.
The judges wrote that naming somebody Friday would bar him from “serene interpersonal relationships” and would turn the boy into the “laughing stock of his group,” according to a report in La Repubblica this week.
According to the daily, the judges also said that, as a day of the week, Friday raises a sentiment of sadness and penitence, when not being associated with bad luck outright.
Rossi said the court, which upheld a previous ruling in June, also ordered the boy to be named Gregorio after the saint on whose day he was born.
The couple are considering appealing the decision to Italy’s highest court, she said
posted by teo on 12-20-2007 at 5:57 pm
Sikhism, the 5th largest religion in the world, has an unusal naming practice, which like the Puritans mentioned by Jessie, involves randomly opening a book.
They randomly open a book, and using the first letter on the top left hand side of the left page. Male children’s middle names are always Singh, and female children’s middle names are always Kaur.
posted by MR Graham on 12-20-2007 at 6:36 pm
I’m Polish and have been on a first-name-change crusade for a while now.
Because the name I chose failed the ‘official list’ (which in fact was a big fat book of names the clerk fished out of her drawer) test, the only thing they agreed to do for me was to let me change my last name into what I have been and still are using as first. I still had to justify the choice and the need for such alteration, and attach a collection of proofs to testify that I’d been using the name in daily life.
One thing is to not let a parent choose a potentially offensive name for their kid (though who’s to state such potential objectively); an adult who is not allowed to change their own name is a whole new ridiculous ball game.
posted by l on 1-5-2008 at 7:19 am