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Where Knowledge Junkies Get Their Fix
I live on a pretty normal little street, at least relative to my (perhaps warped) standards of normalcy. But every once in awhile a cryptic sign will appear on one particular house’s gate near the end of the block, and I’ll be kerflooied if I can figure out what these cryptic messages are really about. To save me actually having to talk to my neighbors, I’d figure I’d ask y’all: what does this mean?
this is probably the most frightening thing i’ve ever seen. if you hadn’t been worried about “animal roasting, bad body odor, bad breath, or theft,” then i suggest you begin worrying now.
in other words…don’t think of an elephant.
posted by kay on 2-7-2007 at 1:36 pm
Oh, I think you nailed it with the title of this post. Suggestion? Move. quickly and without thought!!!
posted by Jane on 2-7-2007 at 1:56 pm
Apparently, if there is no animal roasting, bad body odor, bad breath or theft, all bets are off.
Actually, this would seem to be a perfect opportunity to meet the Addamses, to explain that it appears they are the victim of someone’s practical joke, and to sample the air in the process.
posted by Tom on 2-7-2007 at 2:00 pm
maybe they are just moral and hygenic vegetarians…
posted by Rebecca on 2-7-2007 at 2:12 pm
They’re obviously letting you know that they are clean, law-abiding vegetarians who brush their teeth.
OR, they could be comic genuises, who would be tickled to learn that their nutty sign is the target of a blog post on the infamous Mental Floss.
I say knock on the door with a candle as a present to counteract the possible stink problem they’re referring to.
Or maybe some tofu….
posted by Lyssa on 2-7-2007 at 2:15 pm
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE you see these kinds of messages??? Have they all said the same thing or, if not, what on earth have the other ones said???
posted by Betsy on 2-7-2007 at 2:20 pm
You could always knock on the door and ask if they can clarify which house the mentioned atrocities are coming from…
posted by Jason! on 2-7-2007 at 2:22 pm
It probably means that animal roasting, bad body odor, bad breath, and theft are coming from YOUR house.
Seriously, there’s probably someone else in your neighborhood who’s been a little freaky, and the people who put up this sign are tired of having their door knocked on with odd nuisance complaints.
posted by Alice H on 2-7-2007 at 2:53 pm
Maybe instead of washing their asses, they are just trying to cover them.
posted by Sheldon Siegel on 2-7-2007 at 3:13 pm
They don’t like people. These stupid door’s recommendations show their hostility. Ups, they carry out experiments. Or mentally ill as the result of retarded mentality… or simply extraterrestrial :)))
posted by Funny Alex on 2-7-2007 at 3:15 pm
I think the only reasonable response is to take down the sign and send it to “Found” magazine.
posted by Rhea on 2-7-2007 at 3:25 pm
It is so obvious! O.k. not really, but going out on a very long, very thin limb here, I would say that maybe they have a very rare sense of humor. Then the sign would probably be poking fun at the apathy common among neighbors. Such apathy that allows your house to be broken into, or something, without doing anything. But I am only making a long connection like that because of an essay I read once about the CITY. And it certainly doesn’t account for the bad breath, but I can see animal roasting if they have pets and their house is on fire, and body odor as that stinky dead smell…but as a said, very long, very thin limb! :)
I just felt it necessary to add my two cents because I have been away from Mental Floss for so long :(
posted by Ellen on 2-7-2007 at 3:38 pm
it means that it is definitely coming from that house.
posted by jill on 2-7-2007 at 3:58 pm
Sorry to spoil the fun with a sensible answer.
It’s likely to dissuade potential door-to-door salespersons and the like.
If you were selling entertainment books, would you knock on that door?
posted by KJ on 2-7-2007 at 6:58 pm
Are these neighbors of an ethnicity that is sterotyped for these things? Do the signs show up when they are having family gatherings? Perhaps they are trying to say “No, that’s not my curry, you bigots!” or something of that ilk.
posted by Ann S. on 2-8-2007 at 1:13 pm
You stink?
posted by Beerzie Boy on 2-8-2007 at 2:53 pm
methinks the hatfields and the mccoys are at it again
posted by b118b on 2-11-2007 at 2:47 pm