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Where Knowledge Junkies Get Their Fix
If you’ve been canonized and have some special proclivity or talent on your resume, you could be named a special protector or guardian of a particular illness, occupation, church, country or cause. St. Isidore of Seville, who reputedly wrote the first encyclopedia, is in hot contention to become the patron saint of the Internet. But Izzy is far from the only quirky patron saint out there — there’s also
- Saint Drogo (1105-1185), a Flemish nobleman who was reportedly able to bilocate, maintaining his presence in two locations at once. Witnesses claimed seeing Drogo working in fields simultaneously, and going to mass every Sunday. He is the patron saint of coffee and coffeehouses, we suspect because his peculiar talent for multitasking. (He’s also the patron saint of those whom others find unspeakably repulsive, but that’s another story altogether.)
- Saint Anthony the Great (251-356), an Egyptian Christian monk who lived in a tomb for some years to overcome the temptation of “boredom, laziness and the phantoms of women,” and thus is known (among other things) as the patron saint of gravediggers.
- Saint Lawrence of Rome (225-258), having been martyred by being roasted alive on a gridiron, is the patron saint of cooks and tanners.
- Saint Nicholas, commonly associated with Santa Claus, is said to have aided the poor father of three marriageable girls who could not afford their dowries. To save them from a life of prostitution (a common fate for unmarried women in third-century Asia Minor), he dropped three sacks of gold down their father’s chimney late one night. (Sound like another St. Nick we know?) Thus, he is known as the patron saint of prostitutes.
- French saint Thérèse de Lisieux (1873-1897), known as “The Little Flower of Jesus,” who wrote “Love proves itself by deeds, so how am I to show my love? Great deeds are forbidden me. The only way I can prove my love is by scattering flowers and these flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least actions for love.” She is the patron saint of flowers.
Comments (27)
Comment
St.Lawrence is our Family parish my hubby attended School,we Married,our kids were Baptized there…I’ve heard people tease that he is the St. of the B.B.Q.
posted by Croptilldawn on 2-15-2007 at 9:45 am
Is St. Lawrence the patron saint of tanners who tan hides and work with leather, or of people with a certain orange hue who also cook their skin? Because it really works for both, doesn’t it?
posted by MOD on 2-15-2007 at 10:32 am
Well St.Lawrence church IS at the Beach so I’m going to have to go with the Hawaiian Tropic crowd.
posted by Croptilldawn on 2-15-2007 at 11:44 am
Here’s a pretty extensive list of the different saint and thier patronage. My favorite - St Vitus, for protection against oversleeping.
posted by lane on 2-16-2007 at 12:55 pm
I recently mentioned a couple of amusing patron saints to my ex who is a catholic. Naturally she became very angry and denied that any of them exist. She is an academic and a bit of a snob about her intellectual circles. But that is the problem with faith… when the facts don’t suit you, you can just deny them and blame the messenger.
Of course… I did look up those saints just to see if I could piss off the old cow.
posted by Storm on 2-16-2007 at 9:39 pm
I’ve always wondered who is the patron saint of “hitchikers”. I’ve always picked up harmless looking hitchikers whenever I can. Well if there is no such patron saint for “hitchikers” I’ll be more than happy to fill the position. The only problem is, it will probably take me about 1,000 years before I can be canonized which by then, people don’t even hitchike anymore. You’ll just get beamed from one place to another in a matter of seconds, just like in Star-trek!
posted by Charlie on 2-18-2007 at 10:53 am
Hmmm, Saint Lawrence… the patron saint of sunburned people. Now that’s one I could use!
posted by Amber on 2-21-2007 at 8:12 am
Saint Christopher is the patron saint of travelers, and therefore hitchhikers, Charlie.
posted by Nat on 2-21-2007 at 9:28 am
As far as I know St. Christopher is taken off the list of saints some time ago already.
Emmy
posted by Emmy on 2-21-2007 at 1:25 pm
By George, you’re right, Emmy.
I did not know that.
Thanks.
posted by Nat on 2-21-2007 at 3:24 pm
I thought St Chris was re-instated. Bought one of his medals for my car only a year ago
posted by Angela Wojcik on 2-22-2007 at 11:48 pm
Other saints not mentioned:
Saint Nigel of Saatchi - patron saint of advertising copywriters. He condensed the entire bible into the simple phrase “It might all be crap, but do you really want to risk damnation?”
Saint Slippery of Hallway - patron saint of occupational health and safety officers. He had signs made up saying “Crusifixion area - please avoid heresy and nails.”
And Saint Simplus of Hotcoals - patron saint of motivational speakers. He pumped up early christians into such a state that they actually told roman aurthorities they felt “empowered” by persecution.
posted by Dave Gibson on 2-23-2007 at 5:38 am
IS THERE A PATRON SAINT OF PATRON SAINTS?
ALSO, IS THERE A PATRON SAINT OF ASTRONOMY?
posted by JOHN BROWN on 2-26-2007 at 11:30 am
Lodged somewhere in the back of my mind, Saint Isidore of Seville is the (proposed) patron saint of the internet
www.catholic.org/saints/isidore.php
posted by scott on 10-25-2007 at 2:10 am
St Dominic de Guzman, founder of the Dominican Order, is the patron saint of astronomers, so prolly he also sits well as patron saint of astronomy, doesnt he?
And yes, it sounds interesting to find a patron saint of patron saints, but I think if Jesus was canonized as a saint instead, he fits the bill.
posted by Schubert Malbas on 10-25-2007 at 5:00 am
My favorite is St. Fiaca (hope I spellrd it right), the Patron Sainy of Gardening. He is portrayed with a wodden spade.
posted by gus on 10-25-2007 at 5:45 am
The problem with the idea of this article — all saints, patron or otherwise, are weird.
posted by Gregory Devine on 10-25-2007 at 7:29 am
I remember reading a book as a kid about Saint Cono and how he could help you interpret your dreams and hit the lotto.
I’m thinking he became the Patron Saint of dreams because his parents (who were odler in years and sterile) both dreamnt on the same night about the fact that they were going to finally have a child.
But in the end he never helped me hit the lotto.
posted by Sweet Pea on 10-25-2007 at 7:53 am
What’s wrong with weird? I think that’s one of the reasons I love being Catholic. I can look up to weird people, hehehe. :-)
posted by Meagan on 10-25-2007 at 8:17 am
I was named for St. Lawrence, at the prodding of Father Lawrence Smith, who worked at the hospital where I was born. A charming and hilarious man, he always joked that St. Lawrence was the patron saint of football–he died on the gridiron, didn’t he?
posted by Lori L. on 10-25-2007 at 8:40 am
St. Leonard - Patron Saint of shooters - he defended a group of pilgims from bandits with his pistols in fiftenth(?) century Italy.
posted by Art Waite on 10-25-2007 at 10:47 am
I remember reading that the Buddha was accidentally canonized as St. Jehosophat. Help, anybody?
FWIW: I was baptismally given the middle name of ‘Francis’, named for he of Assisi. I’m not, nor have ever been, a practicing Catholic, but always thought that name was was pretty cool. He taught a strict adherance to poverty and chastity (I’m poor -limited retirement income - and never get laid), and talked to birds. My back yard is full of bird feeders and I spend hours out there with my little buddies. When they hold the annual Blessing of the Animals, it is he who is invoked.
As another aside, the Dominican Order, not the Jesuits, was/is in charge of The Inquisition. Dunno what that has to do with astronomers, other than they weren’t real happy with Galileo.
They never closed down that office, BTW.
posted by Doc on 10-25-2007 at 10:48 am
We had the same teacher for church youth group classes for three years and by the third she’d had enough of us. Each year we chose a patron saint for our classroom, and the year before our last with her we’d chosen Joan of Arc and put on a wonderful skit about her that included tying up one of our classmates and setting her on ‘fire’ (red paper flames). This might have been why she was fed up with us. She chose our saint our last year, and he’s always been my favourite, and appropriate for that class- St. Jude, the patron said of lost causes.
posted by silentluciditi on 10-25-2007 at 1:45 pm
Saints do not get removed. However they may have their special Day removed (like St Christopher)
posted by JohnD on 2-15-2008 at 1:30 pm
Don’t forget St. Clare of Assissi. She’s the patron saint of television, because once when she was too sick to go to mass she was able to see it on her wall.
posted by Samantha on 2-15-2008 at 3:54 pm
Another good one: Padre Pio is the (unofficial) patron of the New Year’s Blues.
posted by W.E.B. Adamant on 2-15-2008 at 7:29 pm
Actually Saints do get “removed” all the time. Particularly in medevial and early christian times, the qualifications for sainthood were kind of lax and could be based on a possibly, sort of, less than totally true story. i.e. he floated across a river on a leaf, let’s make him a saint! Today, the Vatican periodically goes through and culls out saints whose stories aren’t so solid, in order to make sure that sainthood remains reserved for the truly saintly.
St. Christopher wasn’t exactly removed but he was significantly demoted. His story about carrying the child who ended up being Jesus was judged to be less of a true account and more of a widespread legend, and it was determined that the actual “St. Christopher” was really just a Roman martyr who had died with a bunch of other martyrs and not a person with a special story. So he was removed from the feast day calendar and also from the names of churches. Bummer.
posted by Julia on 2-16-2008 at 5:48 am