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I know what you’re thinking: who hates dogs? How can the words hate and dog appear in the same sentence? Well, I’m hear to tell ya folks, I’m not so fond of them right now. The whole truth is, before I moved to LA, I had no problem with dogs. Even owned and loved a terrier once, in my youth. (Ah, my youth…) But try living next to our neighbors’ weimaraner, and you, too, might find yourself soon wishing you owned a very large mallet the only dog in the world were Snoopy.
Is it me or are weimaraners the daftest dogs on the street? I mean, our neighbors’ spends large portions of its day trying to figure out how to defecate without doing so on its own paw. And when its not doing that, it’s barking unremittingly at all hours of the day and night, usually at nothing more than its own shadow.
I know I’m not alone here. My pal Jill Soloway has an uproarious essay in her recent book, Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants, in which she tells why she hates ‘em. (“Licking, slobbering, chopping, slobberchopping—pink gums, black gums. Which is it, is it pink or is it black? Sometimes it’s both!”)
Perhaps the answer to the problem can be found in Clifton, N.J. (wherever that is), where apparently an ordinance setting a limit on how long dogs can bark has recently been passed:
Noisy canines will be defined as those that bark for more than 30 minutes on two consecutive days.
To which I say: if that’s noisy, what’s the word for one who barks all morning, every morning, until I have to go out back and throw disgusting, slimeysmelly dogchews I bought on sale at Petco into the yard to shut it up?!? Honestly people. There is SO no single word that comes to mind. But there are three simple ones: No Dogs Allowed!
Comments (15)
Comment
Well, I love DOGS (have 2 myself) - HATE irresponsible, inconsiderate, selfish DOG OWNERS who have no idea about what responsible ownership entails! That poor dog is trying to tell someone something (like get me out of here these people are idiots).
And pity the neighbors who have to put up with this situation.
posted by Jane on 3-8-2007 at 8:53 am
I grew up in Clifton, NJ. Trust me. It ain’t the dogs that do most of the barking.
posted by Sheldon Siegel on 3-8-2007 at 9:02 am
Don’t throw disgusting, slimeysmelly dogchews into the yard to shut it up. That just rewards and reinforces the barking behavior…
I have a
four-legged wrecking crewdog that had a tendency to bark just to hear her own voice. That behavior can be trained out of them… the owner just has to take the time to do so. Those owners obviously do not care if their dog barks or do not know haw to correct the behavior.Best bet is to check and see what kind of city ordinances you can find that can help you, and get other neighbors to lodge complaints with you. Most towns have noise ordinances that prohibit certain noise levels at night. Sometimes this can be enforced over a barking dog as well (depends on the area…).
posted by Jason! on 3-8-2007 at 9:29 am
I had a neighbor with three dogs like that (all annoying lap dogs) I will not hound you with all of the details, but I decided to do something about the barking (only one of the problems the little rat-dogs caused)
I tried:
* talking to the neighbor - bad result there (he compared my children playing to his dogs barking constantly and suggested that I get rid of them)
* ammonia in a squirt bottle - they just moved out of range and then kept barking.
* silent whistle - actually was not all that silent and I could not be consistent enough to make an impact.
* Finally go an electronic device that let loose with high-frequency (out of human range) assault every time the mutts yapped. It worked. In a week they were barely whimpering at me.
Wouldn’t you know it they moved soon after that. The new neighbors have well behaved dogs so I did not need the Bark Free ‘tamer’.
posted by dk on 3-8-2007 at 10:14 am
I have a neighbor who won’t spay her dogs, and won’t claim or restrain the resulting puppies. She might not feed them, either, since they find and redistribute garbage all over the neighborhood. I need to move away.
posted by Miss Cellania on 3-8-2007 at 10:16 am
dk: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me a link to this electronic device! i’ll be your best blogger forever!
posted by David on 3-8-2007 at 10:44 am
Dabid - they sell these at Petco and Petsmart and I think they even carry them at Walmart. Bought one for my dogs when they were pups
posted by Jane on 3-8-2007 at 11:19 am
David - they sell these at Petco and Petsmart and I think they even carry them at Walmart. Bought one for my dogs when they were pups
posted by Jane on 3-8-2007 at 11:19 am
Jane: Thanks! But I heard these don’t work. I was hoping dk got his hands on some newfangled system that DOES.
posted by David on 3-8-2007 at 11:44 am
The one I used is called “Bark Free”. I chose it because it was reviewed well on Amazon and other sites. Reportedly it does not work for everyone, but I had good luck with it.
I only used it in ‘Ultrasonic’ mode because the audible setting was just as annoying as the barking, plus I was trying to be covert to keep my neighbor relations as civil as possible.
It was worth the $100 to me to try to stop the constant noise, and the vendor offered a money back guarantee, which I gladly didn’t have to use. That was years ago and I don’t remember which online vendor I purchased from.
If you just Google “Bark Free” you should find several sources. I see that there is an amped up “Super Bark Free” available now. I would stick with the brand name on this one, there are many imitators that fall short, from what I have read.
posted by dk on 3-8-2007 at 12:41 pm
My neighbors have a weimaraner that chases cars. Chases them in all out kamikaze fashion - which makes it hard NOT to run her down. My remedy - lay on the horn the entire distance past their house. The dog doesn’t give a rat’s ass but hopefully it irritates the irresponsible dog owners.
posted by brandy on 3-8-2007 at 1:05 pm
David,
dk is right! Bark-free is the brand I used and it worked (still works if they forget and need to be reminded)
posted by Jane on 3-8-2007 at 2:48 pm
While I agree they are incredibly annoying, I kind of like Weimaraners. I think it’s because I grew up with a book of William Wegman’s weimaraner pictures.
I find them creepy now, but I loved them when I was four.
I have an Airedale Terrier. He’s just a little baby, but he’s already about 80 pounds. While we all love him, it’s slightly terrifying to be walking upstairs when a gigantic little puppy is barreling towards you, waiting to shower you with love and whatnot.
posted by alison on 3-8-2007 at 7:45 pm
I hate people who won’t train thier dogs. Ours know that if thye start barking outside they get smacked on the nose and brought inside… they don’t bark much anymore unless there are deer in the yard.
I also knew someone who got a surgery done on her yappy dog where one vocal cord was cut. I don’t reccomend this as it didn’t shut the dog up, just made it quiter and raspy.
posted by Korin on 3-9-2007 at 1:16 pm
My neighbor’s Weimaraners are annoying, too.
Barking dogs getting you down? Visit the barking dog atlas.
posted by BarkingDogATLAS on 4-24-2008 at 12:32 pm