[We'll leave the contest open through 11pm PT, Sunday.]
It’s time for another caption contest! To repeat the rules, the idea here is quite simple: Your job is to come up with a gag. Make us smile, make us laugh, extra-points for those who are able to drop some interesting fact or trivia along the way. We’ll narrow down the entries to our favorites and then let YOU guys pick one winner. This time around, we’re giving away two prizes! First and second place winners will get either a copy of Mark Batty Publisher’s Everyman’s JOYCE or Everyman’s McLuhan. These books have amazing, colorful illustrations — real showpieces for your collection.
So enter as often as you’d like, so long as each caption is in a separate comment.
Lastly, if you’re good with the pen and think YOU’D like to contribute a cartoon of your own for a future caption contest, or want to pitch me an idea for one, please leave a comment and I’ll be in touch with you via e-mail.
Comments (161)
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“Why Mr. D’Oeuvres, you really know how to get a meal off to a great start…”
posted by JD on 2-4-2010 at 9:58 pm
I see hungry dogs and knox blocks… then it gets hazy.
posted by RG on 2-4-2010 at 10:27 pm
No, no, red wine goes with equine.
posted by G on 2-4-2010 at 10:49 pm
I really must introduce you to my parents. They keep seeing the bridles and whips and think I’m into kinky fetishes.
posted by G on 2-4-2010 at 10:53 pm
“Is that a horseshoe on your hoof, or are you just happy to see me??????”
posted by GG on 2-4-2010 at 10:56 pm
Oh…I so loved you in “Equus”…you were divine!
posted by Sandie on 2-4-2010 at 11:00 pm
We’ve ordered the same thing. Does that make me as hungry as a horse?
posted by Mike on 2-4-2010 at 11:00 pm
Oh, I am so relieved… the last guy I dated was such a boar!
posted by thehopp on 2-4-2010 at 11:10 pm
Just in case you get frisky afterward, remember that neigh means neigh.
posted by Romeo Vitelli on 2-4-2010 at 11:11 pm
“It’s nice to finally meet someone so intelligent and thoughtful. My last blind date was such a Yahoo…”
(My English teacher would be proud of me for this one.) :D
posted by Paula on 2-4-2010 at 11:22 pm
Can I swap you my broccoli for your steak?
posted by G on 2-4-2010 at 11:24 pm
Nice ungucure!
posted by Jen in Japan on 2-4-2010 at 11:43 pm
My, what big teeth you have!
posted by G on 2-4-2010 at 11:46 pm
The unicorn from this afternoon? Oh, no, you shouldn’t be jealous. He’s just an old palomino…
posted by The Elk Mechanic on 2-4-2010 at 11:47 pm
And this little pony went “Wee! Wee! Wee!” all the way to the stable.
posted by Kirk on 2-4-2010 at 11:48 pm
“Of course I will mare-y you, my Stallion!”
posted by Amy on 2-4-2010 at 11:51 pm
@ Mike and Romeo…
LMAO!!!
posted by Amy on 2-4-2010 at 11:53 pm
Days later, while recovering from hoof-and-mouth disease, near-sighted Jessica would recall the exact moment she discovered she was dating the Italian Stallion.
posted by Trevor on 2-4-2010 at 11:56 pm
“Awww…honey, those flowers are not on the menu.”
posted by Simple Complication on 2-5-2010 at 12:12 am
“Do let’s hit the dance floor, sweetie… I’m inclined to believe you’re quite the hoofer!”
posted by Amy on 2-5-2010 at 12:22 am
“If only you were a cow, those hooves would make a great Jokpyeon.”
posted by Simple Complication on 2-5-2010 at 12:23 am
“Oooh, honey…. that horseness in your voice is so sexy I simply can’t say neigh!”
posted by Amy on 2-5-2010 at 12:28 am
\Forget dinner… I just want to go home and ride you like a one trick pony!\
posted by Amy on 2-5-2010 at 12:35 am
Having exhausted all other dating sites, Mary finally found a “stable” relationship on foalinlove.com…
posted by Niki on 2-5-2010 at 12:40 am
Oui my dear stud, that was quite a win at the track today, however remember our deal, “Be a winner, or be dinner.”
posted by Prism on 2-5-2010 at 12:43 am
“Is it true what they say about horses?”
posted by Leslie on 2-5-2010 at 1:02 am
Once you go Horse. You upgrade the Source.
posted by BooneR on 2-5-2010 at 1:05 am
I love how you pretend you can’t talk when I’m in the barn with you and Wilbur. It drives him mad, the fool!
posted by Paul on 2-5-2010 at 1:16 am
I just love what you’ve done with your nails…
posted by Matt on 2-5-2010 at 1:22 am
“Mrs. Hands…charmed I’m sure.”
posted by Sonya on 2-5-2010 at 1:24 am
You are so charming that I’ve decided not to eat a horse even though I’m awfully hungry!
posted by Cricketer on 2-5-2010 at 1:32 am
So just cause your wearing four of these you think you’re getting lucky?
posted by Zeke on 2-5-2010 at 1:36 am
You know all that stuff about how we eat corn? Total horsesh*t.
posted by Beau on 2-5-2010 at 1:42 am
I would serenade you on our anniversary, but I’m a little horse.
posted by Beau on 2-5-2010 at 1:44 am
Whoa there, stud!
posted by Jen in Japan on 2-5-2010 at 1:46 am
Who told you I was Trigger happy?
posted by Jen in Japan on 2-5-2010 at 1:48 am
Of course you can have a bachelor party, my love, your parents already threw me a wonderful bridle shower.
posted by Tom Pearson on 2-5-2010 at 2:06 am
You threw another shoe? That’s the third one today! Well, we can’t do anything about it til after dinner.
posted by Tom Pearson on 2-5-2010 at 2:08 am
I’m certainly no Catherine the Great, but let’s just say I have a thing for handsome studs.
posted by Tom Pearson on 2-5-2010 at 2:12 am
“How’d you slip past the maître d’”
“Simple, my dear. I’m a Trojan horse.”
posted by Tom Pearson on 2-5-2010 at 2:50 am
“Like I said before, Caligula was a madman! Running for Senate is a bad idea.”
posted by Tom Pearson on 2-5-2010 at 2:53 am
“Let me guess, you’re going to have the Carrot Cake for dessert.”
posted by Peter Day on 2-5-2010 at 5:13 am
“Today has been lovely, but next time we’re going to MY salon to get out nails done”
posted by Pete on 2-5-2010 at 5:16 am
“just remember, I’m wearing spurs”
posted by Pete on 2-5-2010 at 5:22 am
“Today has been lovely, but next time we’re going to MY salon to get our nails doneâ€
posted by Pete on 2-5-2010 at 5:23 am
Formation of the human face is a complex and exquisitely orchestrated developmental process that occurs between four and eight weeks of embryonic development. Disturbance to this development can lead to malformations of the head and face, including….. Are you listening, Christine?… If you want this relationship to work, you are going to have to trust me when I say… just get the plastic surgery.
posted by Aza Allen on 2-5-2010 at 5:37 am
…I know you wanted to meet James Cameron sooooo badly, I do, but… well… you’re Na’vi is a little, um gutteral.
posted by Aza Allen on 2-5-2010 at 5:56 am
SO you told me that the only way to go on a date with you was to speak entirely in Na’vi… I did not know you were serious… wow. Well, do you know the Na’vi word for glue-factory…?
posted by Aza Allen on 2-5-2010 at 5:58 am
“Don’t you have to be back at work soon?”
“No, I called in and told them I was feeling a little horse.”
posted by Jonathan Harford on 2-5-2010 at 8:45 am
nobody went for the obvious yet??? OK…
Why the long face?
posted by Wayne on 2-5-2010 at 9:07 am
Oh honey, the waiter says you’re a mare, but I still think you’re a stud…
posted by Jim on 2-5-2010 at 9:16 am
“Oooh, Carrie, I just adore your manicure”, said Charlotte.
posted by red on 2-5-2010 at 9:32 am
Look at me; I’ve yakkity-yak’ed a streak… but you, you never speak unless you have something to say.
posted by Will on 2-5-2010 at 9:39 am
Yes yes its a nice ring but neigh still means neigh!
posted by John on 2-5-2010 at 9:49 am
You know… I’m hung like a horse!
posted by Ben on 2-5-2010 at 9:55 am
Are feeling alright honey? You sound a little horse.
posted by Rob on 2-5-2010 at 10:03 am
“…so after Wilbur let e join E-Harmony…”
posted by Kevin on 2-5-2010 at 10:09 am
So you see there is no reason to get excited that call on my cell phone from the glue factory was for an interview, now here, eat up!
posted by Rob on 2-5-2010 at 10:10 am
Sorry, should have been…
“…so after Wilbur let me join E-Harmony…â€
posted by Kevin on 2-5-2010 at 10:10 am
“My best quality, well, I have to say, I am a stable fellow.”
posted by Martin on 2-5-2010 at 10:22 am
“Bad Horse, you know I love how romantic you are, but that troupe of singing cowboys every time you send me a love note is a little much.”
posted by Sands on 2-5-2010 at 10:35 am
Your reputation precedes you, my girlfriends have all said what a stallion you are
posted by eswtg on 2-5-2010 at 10:40 am
“Oh, Mr. Ed, you have such a wonderful way with words.”
posted by Brian on 2-5-2010 at 10:50 am
Khight to QB4 proved to be the winning move
posted by Jeff on 2-5-2010 at 11:02 am
What a big hoof you have!
posted by Sara in AL on 2-5-2010 at 11:24 am
You’ve got to wine em’ and dine em’ before you….ride em’
posted by jo on 2-5-2010 at 11:34 am
But when his wife showed up, what was a delightful evening on the town with her stallion turned into a night mare.
posted by Curtis on 2-5-2010 at 11:50 am
He’s a step up fromt he pigs I’m used to dating.
posted by Kelsey on 2-5-2010 at 11:54 am
“He finally proposed, I’m going to be the proud Mrs. Ed.”
posted by hockey zombie on 2-5-2010 at 11:56 am
“Oh, Geoffrey, I don’t care what they say about sadistic, nercrophilic bestiality. It may seem to them I’m just beating a dead horse, but being with you just feels so right!”
posted by pd on 2-5-2010 at 11:58 am
I think I’ve become stuck on you.
posted by Bharat on 2-5-2010 at 12:01 pm
Darling, I’ll fix that nail for you just let me grab my glue. . .
posted by Jenn on 2-5-2010 at 12:08 pm
Oh, Mr Elway, you are quite the charmer.
posted by Lars on 2-5-2010 at 12:23 pm
It’s nice to have a quiet night away from the bar scene. It seems like every time I walk in to one something ridiculous happens.
posted by C on 2-5-2010 at 12:27 pm
Hold the Spumoni. I’m gonna follow my heart and catch me a Pony.
posted by Bharat on 2-5-2010 at 12:46 pm
“Hung like a human?!? I wouldn’t brag about that!!!”
posted by Randy on 2-5-2010 at 1:12 pm
My last break up was bad, but my friends all said to get back on the horse.
posted by Randy on 2-5-2010 at 1:13 pm
What I am really looking for is a stable relationship.
posted by Randy on 2-5-2010 at 1:17 pm
Whaddya say we head back to my place for a little roll in the hay.
posted by Dinosaur on 2-5-2010 at 1:26 pm
“This tastes like dog food but you’ve kept me glued to my seat.”
posted by Chris on 2-5-2010 at 1:27 pm
You’re engaged? Congratulations! How long until you introduce me to the old bridle and saddle?
posted by Eric Y. on 2-5-2010 at 2:21 pm
Why the long face??
posted by Robert on 2-5-2010 at 2:37 pm
\I just love telling my girlfriends I’m dating a member of the Colts!\
posted by Nate on 2-5-2010 at 2:38 pm
“So, do you think you could get Peyton’s autograph for me?”
posted by Nate on 2-5-2010 at 2:41 pm
She lifted the drooping muzzle with both hands… It was a special embrace saved for special occasions.
(Jean M Auel – The Valley of Horses)
posted by Amy on 2-5-2010 at 2:45 pm
There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a woman
(slight rewording of Winston Churchill quote – ie, WOman instead of man)
posted by Amy on 2-5-2010 at 2:47 pm
A man on a horse is spiritually as well as physically bigger than a man on foot
John Steinbeck
posted by Amy on 2-5-2010 at 2:49 pm
‘So how were the horse dervs?’
posted by 'Da guy on 2-5-2010 at 2:51 pm
I could have my pick of any man, but “I’d rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God’s sake”
J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
posted by Amy on 2-5-2010 at 2:53 pm
‘Well maybe not enough to EAT a horse, but maybe . . . ‘
posted by 'Da guy on 2-5-2010 at 2:53 pm
“In my opinion, a horse is the animal to have. Eleven-hundred pounds of raw muscle, power, grace, and sweat between your legs – it’s something you just can’t get from a pet hamster. ”
(Author Unknown)
posted by Amy on 2-5-2010 at 2:55 pm
See this hoof right here? It’s the glue that holds us together.
posted by Ashley on 2-5-2010 at 2:55 pm
I WISH I was hung like a horse…I’m tired of carrying THIS monster around…
posted by Nancy on 2-5-2010 at 2:56 pm
Don’t worry about your ex, Barbaro. Let’s just say he’s…run his last furlong.
posted by Ashley on 2-5-2010 at 2:56 pm
“So I looked at him and I said ‘Wilbur, the girl only wants you for your cash.’ We were rock stars, basically.”
posted by Tim on 2-5-2010 at 3:04 pm
\oh…..I thought you said hoarse\
posted by stacey on 2-5-2010 at 3:04 pm
“If I’m eating with you instead of eating you, I must be dead too my dear Barbaro.”
She thought it was amazing that her new horse could hold a knife without opposable digits.
“Main-n-Tail is my favorite shampoo too!”
posted by B.C. on 2-5-2010 at 3:06 pm
“Enjoying the Jello?”
posted by jimmy on 2-5-2010 at 3:12 pm
“Uhh, honey? Hello? Dammit. Have you been sniffing glue again?”
posted by Jake on 2-5-2010 at 3:14 pm
Miriam listed herself as a “horse lover” on match.com after her last date turned out to be a real ass.
posted by wreck on 2-5-2010 at 3:16 pm
“When you told me on the phone you had an appetite like a horse, I thought you were joking.”
posted by paulandrewrussell on 2-5-2010 at 3:19 pm
I don’t care if you are a stud, I don’t horse around on the first date!
posted by Anna on 2-5-2010 at 3:35 pm
It’s been a while since I’ve read a hoof. This line here is your pedigree… and this one is shows how many foals you’ll sire.. oh, and your stars aline with Alpha Centari so you really are a stud!
posted by Di on 2-5-2010 at 3:40 pm
“Say, how are you brothers Charlie and Crazy doing these days?”
posted by wreck on 2-5-2010 at 3:47 pm
Don’t worry, I can handle it, I’ve dated black men before.
posted by Brian on 2-5-2010 at 3:59 pm
So did you take a cab here…or…
posted by Justin on 2-5-2010 at 4:00 pm
“and I thought my last date was a horses A$$.
posted by Exit 8 on 2-5-2010 at 4:01 pm
When Jim heard he was being put out to stud, he never thought it would take so much effort
posted by Brian on 2-5-2010 at 4:02 pm
“When Jim heard that he was being put out to stud, he had no idea it would take this much effort.”
posted by Brian on 2-5-2010 at 4:08 pm
I’m so hungry I could eat a – I mean… ride a horse.. to the grocery store, I guess…?
posted by Sabrina on 2-5-2010 at 4:20 pm
“Ed, i mean Mister Ed, we have to tell Wilbur what’s going on.”
posted by Tony on 2-5-2010 at 4:43 pm
After the premiere for “Sex and City” Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Catrall reconciled their differences.
posted by jimmy on 2-5-2010 at 4:47 pm
oops “Sex and THE City”
posted by jimmy on 2-5-2010 at 4:49 pm
Father will adore you, Charles. He’s very keen on breeding.
posted by tmcay on 2-5-2010 at 5:57 pm
‘You know what they say about horses with big hooves…’
posted by Pat on 2-5-2010 at 6:51 pm
‘Don’t believe the rumors about the producers using peanut butter to get me to talk — but a good pinot noir will make me sing.’
posted by Pat on 2-5-2010 at 6:54 pm
It’s okay honey, no need to throw a shoe. We can get the waiter to bring us another vase of flowers.
posted by Ben on 2-5-2010 at 7:01 pm
“I rode you all the way through the desert, and you’re still trying to tell me that you have no name? It does feel good to get out of the rain, though.”
posted by ScottO on 2-5-2010 at 7:20 pm
“Ever been IN a Donkey Show?”
posted by 10thletter on 2-5-2010 at 7:54 pm
E-Harmony really needs to remove the ‘Hung like a Horse’ option…
posted by Brett on 2-5-2010 at 8:19 pm
“I don’t usually go on blind dates, but when I heard you were a stallion…”
posted by Devo the Sane on 2-5-2010 at 9:13 pm
Oh my god, you hoof to try this salad!
posted by Ben on 2-5-2010 at 9:14 pm
I’ll take some sea biscuits.
posted by Brian on 2-5-2010 at 9:48 pm
Truly, I thought this was supposed to be a dog and pony show!
posted by Sandie on 2-5-2010 at 10:33 pm
Your lifeline is in the shape of a horseshoe. Good luck is in your future.
posted by sarah on 2-5-2010 at 11:01 pm
“I divorced ten years ago and haven’t dated since, it’s nice to get back in the saddle..”
posted by Alicia on 2-5-2010 at 11:15 pm
As the LSD began to take effect, Sally found herself enjoying the casual dinner with her new horse friend. That is of course until the large racoon with the massive fangs showed up and began terrorizing the restaurant.
posted by Matt on 2-5-2010 at 11:25 pm
” It’s cosmic, man, our hooking up just as the world is about to be destroyed … but then, I’ve always had a thing for horsemen of the apocalypse.”
posted by Amy on 2-5-2010 at 11:58 pm
“You can ride me all night long, I’ve brought you a full box of Trojans…”
posted by Amy on 2-6-2010 at 12:25 am
It’s okay, we had Subway for lunch.
posted by Fitsofaggression on 2-6-2010 at 1:53 am
You could say that I live in a “stable” environment.
posted by Osvaldo on 2-6-2010 at 2:43 am
“I may be the horse with no name but I can assure you that it is the only thing that is missing
posted by Osvaldo on 2-6-2010 at 2:45 am
They say that I am the horse with no name simply because I leave the ladies speechless, if you know what I mean .
posted by Osvaldo on 2-6-2010 at 2:48 am
To the tune of Hendrix’s “Purple Haze”-
Purple haze all in my brain
This dinner date sure does feel strange
Actin funny, since second course
‘Scuse me while I kiss this hourse
posted by Michael on 2-6-2010 at 11:47 am
Correction/amendment to my last one, it should read:
“I can ride you all day and all neigh-t long… I’ve brought you a jumbo-sized box of Trojans…â€
posted by Amy on 2-6-2010 at 11:48 am
Correction/amendment to my last one:
“I can ride you all day and all neigh-t long… I’ve brought you a jumbo-sized box of Trojans…â€
posted by Amy on 2-6-2010 at 11:51 am
I am extremely embarrassed by my mispelling of the word “horse” (which I spelled “hourse”). Please except the following correction and try not to judge me too harshly. Thank you all.
To the tune of Hendrix’s “Purple Hazeâ€-
Purple haze all in my brain
This dinner date sure does feel strange
Actin funny, since second course
‘Scuse me while I kiss this horse
posted by Michael on 2-6-2010 at 12:18 pm
Wow. I’m really making mistakes.
I just realized that, in my comment that noted my mispelling of the word “horse” I misused the word “except” when I should have used the word “accept”.
So please ACCEPT this correction of my most recent post.
(I will now go sit in the corner and hang my head in shame.)
posted by Michael on 2-6-2010 at 1:06 pm
“You’re dying to know what my daddy does for a living? … He’s a Hollywood producer – Jack Woltz”
posted by Amy on 2-6-2010 at 2:50 pm
“Oh, Grace, you have to see my new manicure! It is just divine!”
“Straight from the horse’s mouth.”
posted by Kellen on 2-6-2010 at 3:15 pm
I love your shoes!
posted by Alyson on 2-6-2010 at 5:00 pm
Elmer’s Glue exec’s like to wine and dine their clients before getting down to business.
posted by Anne on 2-6-2010 at 5:44 pm
You can slip out of that horse costume now, James.
James?
HELLO?
JAMES?!
posted by GiGi B. on 2-6-2010 at 5:57 pm
“You know, I typically don’t go on blind dates, but after I got over that whole ‘not-being-able-to-see’ part, you’re a marvelous date…”
posted by Linda on 2-6-2010 at 6:52 pm
I am Mr. ED!
posted by Rick on 2-6-2010 at 7:38 pm
“Your impeccable hooves make it impossible to tell me much about your future. I can tell your shoe size is 170 ‘European’ though.”
posted by Simple Complication on 2-6-2010 at 7:56 pm
Honey, when we have our first child, will he be the centaur of attention?
posted by Michael on 2-7-2010 at 4:14 am
Horseta la vista, baby
(Hasta la vista, baby)
posted by Nishant on 2-7-2010 at 8:15 am
“Why Mr. Ed, you’re even more of a gentleman than Wilbur.”
posted by Chris Trautman on 2-7-2010 at 9:28 am
So, tell me again how you met Nietzsche.
posted by Benjamin on 2-7-2010 at 3:39 pm
Katherine may have been “the Great”…. but I think you’re “the one”
posted by Jonathan L. on 2-7-2010 at 5:12 pm
“When my owners said they were putting me out to stud, this isn’t what I imagined.”
posted by Vern on 2-7-2010 at 6:11 pm
“I drove here in a Mustang, but I’ll be riding home on a Pinto.”
posted by Vern on 2-7-2010 at 6:29 pm
“Waiter! Where are the Belmont steaks we ordered?”
posted by Vern on 2-7-2010 at 6:35 pm
“I told the fourth Horseman, ‘I have a hot date tonight, so you’re gonna have to walk to the apocalypse.’”
posted by Vern on 2-7-2010 at 7:20 pm
“Don’t worry dear, this one’s on the horse…”
posted by johnson on 2-7-2010 at 7:22 pm
“He shouted, ‘My Kingdom for a horse!’ And I said, ‘Sorry, Richie. I’m more interested in the Triple Crown.’
posted by Vern on 2-7-2010 at 7:27 pm
Look Sarah, all of this sweet talkin’ might have convinced your big-eared friends, but there’s no way you’re going to get me to come to one of your tea parties.
posted by aerdna on 2-7-2010 at 9:26 pm
Though she admired the gorgeous nails, Mary couldn’t decide whether the other side effects of the equine estrogen supplements were worth it.
posted by Carrie on 2-7-2010 at 10:21 pm
“Well, I always wanted to marry a stud”
posted by Mike on 2-7-2010 at 11:37 pm
You know, my last date was a real jackass.
posted by nickumoh on 2-8-2010 at 9:22 pm