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Miss Cellania
Alarming Situations
by Miss Cellania - March 29, 2007 - 6:22 AM

I am both a night owl and a morning person (which means I’m an insomniac). The only reason I use an alarm clock is to pick the kids up at school on time. But some seriously deep sleepers (like my children) need more incentive to get out of bed than a “normal” alarm clock offers. You’ve read here about the Puzzle Alarm Clock, the Flying Alarm Clock, and Clocky the hiding clock, all designed to make you wake up and do something to turn the alarm off. The problem is that some heavy sleepers can learn to do those things without waking up! But clock designers are busy making it even harder for you to snooze.
For example, try this Bomb Clock. In order to turn off the alarm, you must connect the wires in the correct order, or an explosion will result. I don’t think that will actually happen, but why take the chance?

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They say that money is the biggest incentive in the world. That’s the concept behind the Banclock. You have to feed it a coin to turn the alarm off. But eventually, you’ll be able to take that money out. I think.

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The cops are coming! The Emergency Alarm Clock wakes you up with blue lights and a siren. You can attach it to the wall or window if you like. Also good for pranking your sleeping friends.

More ways to wake up, after the jump.

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You might think the siren clock would be the loudest, but this cute little innocent-looking Sonic Boom Sweetheart Alarm Clock has a 113 decibel alarm! That makes the volume about equivalent to being in the front row at a rock concert. That should wake you up. And everyone else within a mile radius.

 

You can program the IKEA Slabang Alarm Clock to use your voice as the alarm, or any sound you want, via its built-in microphone. This would be great for kids, since research shows children are more likely to wake to a parent’s voice than to an alarm. Mark Frauenfelder recorded his to play “I Got You Babe”, just like in the movie Groundhog Day.

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There are other pleasant ways to awaken. The Voco Clock wakes you with the soothing voice of Stephen Fry politely reminding you to wake up. “Good morning, sir. I’m so sorry to disturb you, but it appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree, sir. I believe it is the rotation of the earth that is to blame, sir.” But don’t take my word for it; you can hear that and other wakeup phrases at the product site. A “Madam” version should be available soon.
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But the most pleasant way yet to wake up is to the smell of frying bacon. Place a frozen strip of bacon into the Bacon Clock before you retire. Ten minutes before alarm time, the clock begins to fry the bacon with halogen lamps. At your rising time, the bacon is ready and the smell is to die for. Who could sleep through that?

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If anyone builds a better alarm clock, I want to know about it.

Comments (10)
  1. The egg-laying Kuku clock shoots out 5 eggs every morning. My friend had this clock in college. I have had the pleasure of frantically searching for the 5 eggs. Taking out the battery to the clock proved to be much more effective.

  2. While I don’t own one (yet) I think this is the best alarm clock. I can think of few things worse than having the alarm going of at 5:00AM on a Saturday because you forgot to turn it off or not going off on Monday because you forgot to turn it back on. In summary, it is a 7 day alarm clock. You can set 7 alarms, one for each day of the week! It is called “Neverlate 7-day Alarm Clock”.

    Another very good one which I do own will actually simulate dawn. It will slowly increase the light that it is plugged into over a 45 min period until it is a full brightness. Think of it as an automatic dimmer switch that turns the light on very slowly. Put a full spectrum bulb in it and it is a very peaceful way to wake up. Trust me though, it will wake you up esp if you have it shining right in your eyes!

    It is called SunRizr(tm)

  3. Barry, I have a SunRizr by another name. It’s called a “window.” ^_^

  4. A bacon clock? How on earth do you come up with an idea like a BACON clock?

  5. i gotta say that i probably own at least 4-5 alarm clocks, but to me, the one that works best is the ONLY one that i can’t turn off no matter how hard i try… my MOM!! she just doesn’t give up untill im triping over whatever is on my floor and stumble into the bathroom. the only thing that im wondering about is what am i going to do next year at college?? knowing me, i’ll probably sleep though my classes. oh well

    by the way Saborlas, i like the window thing!

  6. Saborlas,

    Sadly, some of us do have to wake up before the sun rises. A window does not work in that case. :-(

  7. Barry: thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I’ve always had problems waking up on time for work–it got better for about 6 months and then I couldn’t get up again! Then I figured it out: daylight savings! I would keep my curtains open to have the sun help me wake up, but when daylight savings kicked in and there was no sun again, I was SOL! I was just this morning wishing for a simulated sun alarm clock, because I’m sure that my roommate is tired of the 3 alarms I have to set. So, thanks to you, I’ve ordered a sun-simulating alarm. Thanks again!

  8. Another good, relatively cheap alarm clock is the Citrus Alarm Clock (google that, something comes up like ornj.net). It’s on your computer (compatible with all sorts of operating systems) and lets you select media files for your alarm (or playlists, if you perfer). You can set as many different alarms as you like (I even have on reserved for ‘Nap’). And the best part — it wakes your computer up from the ’sleep’ state, so you don’t have to have the lid open all night.

  9. Thanks to good genetics, I naturally wake up around 5 am, taking after my father. I came across this alarm clock called the Screaming Meanie (you can google it), which has a 120 db setting with options to set a timer, and to also lower the decibel setting. Highly effective for those sound sleepers.

  10. Now Micheal Scott can have his bacon in the morning and not Forman Grill his foot!

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