Chris Higgins
The Late Movies: 10 Awful TV Credits Sequences
by Chris Higgins - March 3, 2010 - 10:00 PM

The Late Movies

I came across the “Super Mario Brothers Super Show” closing credits sequence (the first video below), and just had to post it. I apologize in advance.

“Super Mario Brothers Super Show” (Closing Credits)

“Let’s do the Mario!” yells the strange dancing man greenscreened into a Mario world. No, that’s okay. I do not wish to do the Mario at this time, or ever.

“Out of This World” (Pilot Opening Credits)

Apparently just stock footage of beach scenes?

“Super Mario Brothers Super Show” (Opening Credits)

This involves Luigi, an 80′s rap, more greenscreen action, and a terrifying blend of live action with animation.

“Small Wonder” (Opening Credits)

I can’t even begin to describe what’s happening here.

“Greatest American Hero” (Opening Credits)

Super bad greenscreen work, lots of freeze-frames, and big, big hair. Also, why are the actors’ names placed right on top of their faces? That just seems sloppy.

“Smurfs’ Adventures” (Opening Credits)

Appears to be a hastily re-edited collection of clips from the pilot episode.

“Smurfen” (Season 2 Opening Credits, Dutch)

Um. Awesome?

“Samurai Pizza Cats” (Opening Credits, English Dub)

A bad B-52′s impression over a cartoon I’ve never heard of. Cool. Why is this 90 seconds long?

“CHiPs” (Opening Credits)

I’m not sure if this is the past or some terrible, terrible future.

“Perfect Strangers” (Opening Credits)

Okay, actually this is completely awesome. I love the song, the action, and the show. I’m not too sure about the shirts or Bronson Pinchot’s vests, but dude — “America or Burst?” — that’s how you open a hit TV show.

Post Your Own in the Comments!

I know I’m leaving a bunch of awful credits sequences out — help out by finding gems and leaving links in the comments!

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Comments (28)

  1. Doing the Mario is just walking

    posted by Helder on 3-3-2010 at 10:15 pm

  2. I loved Out of This World, Small Wonder, Chips and Perfect Strangers. I always thought that I could stop time like the girl in Out of This World!

    posted by David on 3-3-2010 at 10:18 pm

  3. I just want to say that the Perfect Strangers theme is my morning alarm. I start everyday with unbridled energy and enthusiasm.

    posted by Eric on 3-3-2010 at 10:20 pm

  4. um, the guy playing Mario isn’t exactly a stranger. He was played by Captain Lou Albano. (you may remember him from the WWF, Cyndi Lauper music videos circa 1984 or Tireman’s Tire Service Commercials if you live in Putnam County, N.Y.)

    posted by furiousk on 3-3-2010 at 10:20 pm

  5. I refuse to watch the Small Wonder one because I hated that show, but the Greatest American Hero and Perfect Strangers were just typical opening sequences in the 80s. If those are awful, then so were the ones for the Fall Guy and Family Matters and scores of other 80s shows.

    posted by Rich on 3-3-2010 at 10:24 pm

  6. Hmm…Awesome seems to be spelled wrong in the title…..

    posted by Leigh on 3-3-2010 at 10:24 pm

  7. Super Mario Bros. Super Show ending credits is amazing. At least, I think so.

    I also think Samur(a)i Pizza Cats is a bad Rosie O’Donnel impression.

    posted by Conor on 3-3-2010 at 10:30 pm

  8. For some reason, my 90+ year old grandma LOVED the show Perfect Strangers. It must have been the openeing credits and the immigrant story line. Although she wouldn’t condider herself an immigrant. In her world, the US was just part of the British Colonies. RIP Minnie!

    posted by sarah on 3-3-2010 at 11:07 pm

  9. I never knew George Costanza got his answering machine jingle from such a dumb-looking show!

    posted by Cory on 3-3-2010 at 11:16 pm

  10. Have you seen the video of someone doing a shot-for-shot remake of the Perfect Strangers credits?
    AMAZING

    posted by Andrew on 3-4-2010 at 3:59 am

  11. What’s so awesomely bad about the opening credits for “CHiPs”? It showed you the two main characters; identified the actors; and just in case you didn’t know these were motorcycle cops, they actually drew the show title’s letters out of the words on the CHP badge. What more (or less) did you want?

    -”BB”

    posted by Bicycle Bill on 3-4-2010 at 5:31 am

  12. I remember all of these credits sequences from my childhood, which means that they are AWESOME, not awful. :)

    posted by Graham on 3-4-2010 at 7:30 am

  13. Thanks for bringing back childhood memories for me! I actually loved watching the Super Mario Brothers show, the Smurfs, and Perfect Strangers when I was a kid. And I, of course, thought of George Costanza while watching the opening credits for Greatest American Hero.

    Surely you remember the opening sequence to the New Kids on the Block cartoon (which I also loved as a kid)…here’s the link to see it for yourselves, folks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0qewsAWS3U

    posted by Krie on 3-4-2010 at 8:48 am

  14. @Andrew: Allison Keene actually had some links to the shot-by-shot remake of the “Perfect Strangers” intro on the weekend links a while back

    http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/45091

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8j09urzIeM

    posted by Ryan on 3-4-2010 at 9:23 am

  15. When I was a kid, every weekday at 1 PM my mom had to stop everything she was doing and turn on the TV for Days of Our Lives. I swear, I had nightmares of watching an hourglass drain while that annoying music played.

    Thanks, Mom.

    On the other end of the spectrum, the opening credits for Dexter are awesome. The dark, haunting theme, the sinister way he shaves his face, dresses and cooks his breakfast… come to think of it, that one gives me nightmares too.

    posted by Mark on 3-4-2010 at 9:25 am

  16. So that Mario show did exist! I remember watching it when I was really, really young, and for years my older sister has insisted that it was figment of my imagination and that the show did not exist! Ha ha! In your face, sissy!

    posted by Jessica on 3-4-2010 at 9:50 am

  17. This is the Out of This World intro I remember…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2UkZzdyD0A

    posted by Amanda on 3-4-2010 at 10:18 am

  18. Hey, I LOVED that Super Mario Show! It looks weird now, but back in the day when I was a kid it was awesome!

    Not a TV credit, but the ending credits to Beastmaster 2: A Portal Through Time is pretty bad and hilarious. You can totally tell that the guy is just running in place, especially when the tiger shows up.

    posted by Jina on 3-4-2010 at 11:23 am

  19. I remember my brother and I getting up early before school and watching Samurai Pizza Cats. I always thought it was awesome! But I liked the ending credits better. I also remember that Sailor Moon would come on either before or after that and I always thought that was a great opening credit.

    posted by Colene on 3-4-2010 at 11:37 am

  20. The shot-by-shot remake of Perfect Strangers was indeed great, but don’t forget Otto and his Valentine For Perfect Strangers.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETQ0urHjSIk

    posted by Johnny Cat on 3-4-2010 at 2:13 pm

  21. Samurai Pizza Cats isn’t a bad B-52s impression, its a good Paul Lynde impression.

    posted by Spartie on 3-4-2010 at 2:15 pm

  22. Get CHiPs off this list! It doesn’t belong here. It’s a great opening credit sequence.

    posted by Craig on 3-4-2010 at 3:47 pm

  23. Maybe it’s just me, but…the CHiPs opening made me feel like I was watching the opening scenes of a gay porn movie…

    posted by trish on 3-4-2010 at 3:58 pm

  24. Conor your spot on with the Mario bros. I used to love that show, but the Koopa show was a bit funnier!

    posted by don on 3-4-2010 at 6:15 pm

  25. Wow…I can’t decide if it’s awesome or lame that I remembered 90% of the words to the Small Wonder and Perfect Strangers theme songs (and sang along as the clips played).

    posted by C on 3-4-2010 at 7:15 pm

  26. ok, first off: i know and remember fondly every single one of these shows. jeez, someone, please come up with a personal, portable time machine so i can go back and be the girl i was watching these shows for the first time.

    secondly, although i understand why you would put \the greatest american hero\ on your awful credit sequence list (i never noticed that crappy editing!), it really really REALLY also needs to be included in any future greatest-theme-songs-of-all-time article y’all run. or any future most-original-tv-show-ideas article.

    a clumsy, \every man\ in red tights who becomes the city’s only hope for salvation? who could it be? believe it or not- it’s just me…

    posted by tawny on 3-5-2010 at 2:14 am

  27. Enjoyable piece, and I won’t debate your choices, but there are a few big flaws: firstly, if you think a sequence is good, then it should not be listed among the “awfuls.” It should have its own “P.S.” at the end of the list.

    Secondly, “I’ve never heard of it” is not a criticism. Calling the show “obscure” is better. Giving some evidence to back up that claim is best. I never watched Samurai Pizza Cats, but I keep seeing it referenced.

    Finally, singers who have Australian accents really sound that way: they’re not just doing it to sound like the B-52s.

    posted by T Campbell on 3-30-2010 at 8:28 am

  28. T Campbell,

    I can only say you’re taking this WAY too seriously.

    posted by Chris Higgins on 3-30-2010 at 12:12 pm

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