Next week I’ll be writing about some of the worst hold music I’ve ever had to sit through. In researching the post, I discovered that in the U.K., Greensleeves is the most loathed hold music tune. This makes sense, as the song originates in their neck of the woods. No one knows who penned the song, but many think it was composed by King Henry VIII for his lover and future queen consort Anne Boleyn. This is doubtful, however, since the style in which the song was composed wasn’t popular until after Henry VIII’s death. The lyrics, which were already popular around Shakespeare’s time (he references them in The Merry Wives of Windsor) have been the subject of much intellectual discourse and debate. Here’s a sample before I tell you about the debate:
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
Your vows you’ve broken, like my heart,
Oh, why did you so enrapture me?
Now I remain in a world apart
But my heart remains in captivity.
Scholars have long questioned the meaning of these words. According to Wiki (What? That’s scholarly, no?) “One possible interpretation of the lyrics is that Lady Green Sleeves was a promiscuous young woman and perhaps a prostitute. At the time, the word “green” had sexual connotations, most notably in the phrase “a green gown”, a reference to the way that grass stains might be seen on a lady’s dress if she had made love outside.
Whatever you think the words mean, there’s no denying the tune’s staying power and earworm factor. (Yeah, it goes to 11 in my book.) Here, then, are nine variations that show how ubiquitous the song is, and, if nothing else, will have you humming it to yourself all day long (sorry!).
1. The Titanic Version
2. The Classical Guitar Version
3. The Liberace Version
4. The Massage Therapy Version
5. The Smooth Jazz Version
6. The Progressive Jazz Version
7. The Hillbilly Version
(my personal favorite!)
8. The Virtuoso Version
9. The Orchestral Version
Comments (23)
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I guess I shouldn’t admit that I love that tune and actually own about half of those versions. I don’t have the awesome bluegrass version though, where did you come up with it?
posted by Chris on 3-10-2010 at 9:06 am
Leonard Cohen did a riff on Greensleeves called “Leaving Greensleeves” which is strange and obsessive and a little bit creepy. Or that could be his vocals, which are very breathy.
posted by Elizabeth W on 3-10-2010 at 9:07 am
You missed off Greensleeves by The Trashmen.
posted by Gavo on 3-10-2010 at 9:19 am
I do enjoy the “CD-bonus-track” rendition added on to the Vince Guaraldi Trio’s soundtrack for “A Charlie Brown Christmas” several years ago.
I was somewhat surprised that, considering the context, the song wasn’t labeled as “What Child is This.” Having grown up in the Protestant South, that’s still what I sing when I hear the tune.
posted by Sandy Wood on 3-10-2010 at 9:47 am
Does anybody remember that classic Nick show The Secret World of Alex Mack? There’s a whole episode devoted to Alex singing this song for a class play.
posted by Nick on 3-10-2010 at 10:09 am
Ditto with Sandy. I love this song. Coltrane did a great version of it. And I always hear What Child Is This when I listen to it (though I did not grow up in the American south).
posted by tartaruga on 3-10-2010 at 10:12 am
I’m not going to say “you missed” ’cause I hate it when people say that…but there’s a version of Greensleeves by Canadian singer Loreena McKennitt, singing in the style of Tom Waits. Very strange. If I heard it while on hold, I’m pretty sure I’d hang up. Which is weird, ’cause I usually really like her music–and his.
posted by Adam on 3-10-2010 at 10:59 am
Hi, there. I’m Amy … and I LOVE Greensleeves.
posted by Amy on 3-10-2010 at 12:07 pm
@Nick Alex Mack was the first thing I thought of when reading this post! (Especially after reading the post about old Nick shows from the other day.) She auditioned with it, and sang it really awfully. I think it was the first time I’d ever heard the words, so it’s kinda stuck with me.
I was trying to find a clip of it on youtube, but haven’t been able to yet.
posted by catherine ann on 3-10-2010 at 12:15 pm
The ice cream trucks where I am (York) play it so I already had it stuck in my head when I read this because one was parked outside my flat.
posted by Meiyho on 3-10-2010 at 12:18 pm
Now I have to start a collection of all the versions that I can find! That and look for the whole of the lyrics!
posted by Rhiannnonn on 3-10-2010 at 1:16 pm
@ Meiyho One summer there was an ice cream truck that played a very creepy version of Greensleeves outside my condo complex. It would wander the streets around twilight time (which I think is too late for kids to go running into the streets) and was just super spooky. I would close my windows and turn on the AC whenever I heard it.
posted by Jen on 3-10-2010 at 1:16 pm
I like the Titanic version best.
I looked in my hymnal at the song “What Child is This” and saw that the tune name is in fact called Greensleeves. Since it is written in 87.87 with refrain it could use the tune from several other songs such as My Life Flows on (How Can I Keep From Singing) or Shall We Gather at the River (Hanson Place). When I tried to change out the tune, I kept singing the other song and couldn’t get What Child is This to work out for me.
And I am from the American south.
posted by veetie on 3-10-2010 at 1:36 pm
I’m from the American north and I’ve only ever heard the “What child is this” words sung to the Greensleeves tune. I never knew what the actual Greensleeves words were, even though I knew that was the name of the tune.
posted by JMB on 3-10-2010 at 3:11 pm
I am taking guitar lessons and this is my favorite song to practice. simple yet classy.
posted by JOHN THE THIRD on 3-10-2010 at 4:01 pm
I knew I was thinking of a Christmas song the whole time I was listening to these – the words were in my head, but I couldn’t place the title! Then I saw the comments. “What Child is This.” OF COURSE.
And I am from the Deep South.
ReCaptcha: shimmery limitation
posted by Sarah on 3-10-2010 at 4:37 pm
No mention of Davy Jones singing it on the Monkees? I’m surrounded by children.
posted by PartiallyDeflected on 3-10-2010 at 4:38 pm
I neeeever kne wthe name of this song. this is going to be my random fact of the day. Me and my best friend always sing this song (or should I say hum this tune) to each other…
Yea we are weird.
I love you mentalFloss. Little nuggets of information..
posted by Chrystani on 3-10-2010 at 5:19 pm
One of my favorite melodies, as “Greensleaves” (the olde spelling, LOL) and “What Child is This” AND … the theme song to the TV show “Lassie” that they played over the end credits when I was a child. I was too little then to know where it came from so I made up words that went with Lassie for it, and later discovered what it really is when I started music lessons.
posted by Siobhan on 3-10-2010 at 5:55 pm
I thought the massage therapist version was the worst and then I clicked on the smooth jazz version. Not only was it instantly irritating but also suddenly transported me to a Hobby Lobby.
posted by Amanda on 3-10-2010 at 7:57 pm
Know what’s cool? A Greensleeves MASHUP…
just hit play on a few of them around the same time!
posted by Anon Emous on 3-10-2010 at 11:05 pm
Fantasy on Greensleeves was one of the bonuses of discovering Holst’s The Planets. (thanks, David)
I used to play it at work, and people would swear they were in a Disney film.
posted by Johnny Cat on 3-11-2010 at 1:54 am
Greensleeves, although a bit overplayed, has long been one of my favorite songs, no matter how it is being arranged and performed. Overall, my favorite adaptation of the song is the Andrea Bocelli “What Child is This” duet on his My Christmas album. The intro is downright haunting!
posted by Samuel Morris on 3-12-2010 at 3:02 am