Stacy Conradt
The Quick 10: 10 Odd Celebrity Lawsuits
by Stacy Conradt - March 11, 2010 - 6:06 PM

q10

Have you heard about this ridiculous Lindsay Lohan lawsuit? In case you haven’t, it’s below at number one. It’s a bit silly, at least in my non-lawyerly opinion. But there’s a long line of litigious luminaries who paved the way for Lindsay, so who knows? Maybe her case has a shot. Here are a few of them.

milk1. Lindsay Lohan vs. E-Trade. If you watched the Super Bowl and all of its commercials, you probably remember the E-Trade babies. One baby accuses her “boyfriend” of having that “milk-a-holic, Lindsay,” over. Lohan decided E-Trade was using her name without her permission, claiming she has the same kind of single-name recognition as Madonna or Cher, and that saying the baby was a “milk-a-holic” was making light of her personal issues with alcohol and drugs. Everything is still pending, but my guess is that she’s going to lose this one. I saw the commercial and I never made the connection between the infant and the actress with infantile behavior. Did you? Here’s the commercial in question.

2. Dustin Hoffman vs. Los Angeles magazine. Back in 1999, Hoffman didn’t really appreciate the fact that the magazine Photoshopped a picture of him in a spangled dress from Tootsie – a movie in which he dresses as a woman – and put him in a different gown and heels. He demanded $5 million and ended up winning $3 million.

3. Vanna White vs. Samsung Electronics. Samsung ran an ad in the late ’80s depicting a blonde robot in an evening dress turning letters on a game show. Apparently it hit a little too close to home for Ms. White – she sued and won, but the judge’s ruling for Vanna has been highly criticized ever since.

504. 50 Cent vs. Taco Bell. Don’t expect Curtis Jackson to make a run for the border anytime soon. In 2008, 50 sued Taco Bell because of an ad campaign in which the company jokingly beseeched the rapper to change his name to “99 Cent” to promote their 99-cent menu. Fiddy wasn’t amused, especially after his fans started mocking him for selling out to Taco Bell, and sued them for using his name without his permission. Taco Bell countersued for $4 million. They ended up settling out of court last year.

5. Ron Livingston vs. Anonymous Wikipedia User. Just a few months ago, Ron Livingston was apparently perusing Wikipedia when he happened to notice that the entry under his name called him “A Gay.” Since Wikipedia is powered by anonymous users who can edit at will, it’s pretty hard to actually sue anyone. The lawsuit names “John Doe.” But it must be scaring someone away, because there is currently no mention of him being “A Gay” on Wikipedia right now.

6. Willem Van Muyden vs. Elizabeth Taylor. Van Muyden was Taylor’s gardener until she let him go because he refused to have sex with her butler/lover. At least, that’s what Van Muyden claimed. The gardener said the butler was having a hard time “getting sexually aroused in order to service Taylor’s sexual needs,” and wanted a little help in that department from Van Muyden. Van Muyden said no and was subsequently fired. But the lawsuit was settled and, according to Taylor’s lawyer, no one was paid anything. He said Van Muyden was fired, yes, but it was for employing illegal immigrants and threatening members of the household.

7. Johnny Carson vs. Here’s Johnny Portable Toilets. Yeah, I wouldn’t have been too happy about this one if I were Carson. In 1976, a company began selling “Here’s Johnny” porta-potties. The proprietor of the company might have been able to plead ignorance if he hadn’t added the tagline, “The World’s Foremost Commodian,” but he really tipped his hand with that one. Shockingly, Carson lost. The court decided that since Carson’s image wasn’t used, he wasn’t defamed and there was no invasion of privacy. His legal team appealed and won the second time around.

allen8. Allen Heckard vs. Michael Jordan and Phil Knight. Allen, apparently a dead ringer for the basketball legend (he’s pictured at the left, what do you think?), was tired of constantly being asked to sign autographs and pose for pictures. So, he sued Jordan, because obviously it’s his fault they look alike. He also sued Nike founder Phil Knight for promoting Jordan and making him a household name and face. The amount he wants? $832 MILLION DOLLARS. Really. When asked how he arrived at that particular sum, Heckard said, “Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and ah, then I turn around and ah I figure that’s what it all boils down to.” The case is still pending, but there’s no way he can win this one… is there??

9. Unnamed Chef vs. Simon Cowell. Well, you can safely say this lady wasn’t trying to extort money from Cowell – all she wanted from this lawsuit was the return of her sneakers, which were fitted with $500 orthopedic insoles. She was interviewing for a chef position in the Cowell household and removed her shoes at the door as so not to track dirt all over the house. She was given a clean pair to wear while she was there for the interview. The chef failed to get her shoes back after the interview – she says she was given someone else’s shoes instead. She sued for the cost of the shoes, plus her court costs, plus the $9 in gas it cost her to make the trip to Simon’s house.

10. Mariah Carey vs. Mary Carey. I wouldn’t think most people would be confused between Mariah and Mary, but I’m apparently wrong. In 2006, singer Mariah Carey sued porn star Mary Carey for having a stage name that was just a bit too similar for her liking. Mariah claimed that Mary’s choice of profession was hurting her own image. A judge agreed, and as of January 2007, Mary Carey can no longer legally go by such.

Do any other famous lawsuits come to mind? And what do you think about the whole Lindsay lawsuit – does she have a case, or is this just another way to get her name in the press?

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Comments (30)

  1. I have a cousin named Lindsay, maybe it’s referencing her… I never put together Lindsay Lohan with the fictional “Lindsay” baby in the commercial, geez, get a grip!

    posted by Sarah in CA on 3-11-2010 at 6:36 pm

  2. Rodney Dangerfield sued Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas in 1988. He alleged that the sauna or steam bath was too hot and he injured his eyes. The jury found for Mr. Dangerfield and he was awarded damages.

    posted by Peggie on 3-11-2010 at 6:48 pm

  3. Madonna I know, Cher I know, Lindsay who?

    posted by Tex on 3-11-2010 at 6:52 pm

  4. Lindsay Lohan is the reason that people in other countries hate America.

    posted by Lindsay on 3-11-2010 at 8:15 pm

  5. The Johnny Carson case was one of appropriation, not libel/defamation, just fyi. :-)

    And I’m no lawyer, but Lindsay Lohan has no case–whether appropriation or defamation. There are a lot of women in America named Lindsay, and as far as defamation is concerned, Lohan doesn’t have a reputation worth protecting. Also, I believe the name for the E*Trade ad came from one of the ladies who worked on the campaign account.

    I’m willing to bet she shows up in court drunk, high, or both.

    posted by Jennilyn on 3-11-2010 at 8:16 pm

  6. @Lindsay: Really? Did you really just say that?

    posted by Deen on 3-11-2010 at 10:06 pm

  7. The Mariah Carey one sounds stupid. It’s like that one where Katy Perry, the singer, sued Katie Perry, a fashion designer in Australia, for using the name. Katy perry isn’t even her real name. I think she dropped the lawsuit since. I’m not sure though.

    posted by nicole on 3-12-2010 at 12:32 am

  8. No, it was me.

    posted by Paris on 3-12-2010 at 12:37 am

  9. With the Lindsay lawsuit, in order to show appropriation/defamation, the first legal hurdle is that others could conclude that the commercial was in fact depicting Lindsay. The only person in the country who thought that that commercial was making fun of Lindsay’s misfortune was . . . Lindsay Lohan. Sounds like she’s projecting to me, but I’m not a psychologist.

    Which brings up the (perhaps also psychological) question, why in the world is she suing? My guess is that no lawyer that even half listened in law school actually thinks she has a chance. Instead, it’s probably just a publicity stunt by Lindsay to turn attention back to her. That, and her (apparently unethical) attorney probably gets a nice retainer from her up front, in which case said unethical attorney probably doesn’t care about the validity of the claim.

    posted by Scott the Lawyer on 3-12-2010 at 12:53 am

  10. Reminds me of another “first name” lawsuit — when TNN decided to rename itself Spike TV, but the change was delayed when Spike Lee sued claiming that people would automatically associate the name with him. Jeeeez. (And it’s not even his real first name.)

    posted by VM on 3-12-2010 at 1:23 am

  11. There is a rumor going around that the Lindsay lawsuit is actually a publicity stunt on the part of E-Trade. I don’t know how true it is, but it seems plausible despite the fact that I wouldn’t put anything past the delusional idiot that is Lindsay Lohan.

    posted by MN on 3-12-2010 at 5:47 am

  12. I’m going to start a class action lawsuit against Lohan for collectively wasting 15 of our time on her 15 minutes of fame!

    reCAPTHA: doggy in (really, I swear)

    posted by Tom on 3-12-2010 at 8:13 am

  13. People tend to make it about them. My favorite example:

    A guy is at a baseball game. He hears someone in one of the rows behind him yell “Bob is an idiot!” The guy turns around and looks to try and see who said it, but gives up and resumes watching the game. A few minutes later he hears “Bob is a jerk!” He stands up and turns around, again eying the crowd to try and spot the heckler. After sitting down, he again hears “Bob is a moron!” Finally fed up, he stands up and turns around and yells “Stop saying things about me!! And my name isn’t even Bob!! It’s Steve!”

    – rimshot –

    posted by EV on 3-12-2010 at 9:05 am

  14. Based on the above – Ron Livingston should probably watch out for his cornhole.

    posted by Bert on 3-12-2010 at 9:43 am

  15. I think the World Wrestling Federation suing the World Wildlife Fund was idiotic, or at the very least a really bad idea from a public relations stand point. Enjoy your new name, World Wrestling Entertainment. Carol Burnett suing Family Guy was pretty silly too, it was like a classic comedian suing because she doesn’t get contemporary humour, kinda disappointing.

    posted by Elaine on 3-12-2010 at 9:53 am

  16. Thought maybe I was the only one who personally knew 3-4 Lindsey/Lindsay’s :)(http://www.babynamewizard.com/voyager)

    “Oh, I’m hurt. Oh, my neck! my back! My neck AND my back! Oh, I want $150,000…but we can settle out of court right now for twenty bucks.”

    posted by Andrew on 3-12-2010 at 10:00 am

  17. Actually, the World Wide Fund for Nature sued the World Wrestling Federation over an overseas initials agreement breach between the two entities.

    posted by Programmher T on 3-12-2010 at 10:05 am

  18. I can’t believe I was the only one that made the Lohan connection instantaneously.

    Also, apparently Lindsay Lohan actually liked the commercial, documented on her Twitter feed. Word around the blogosphere is that her father is trying to sue in her name.

    I also can’t believe I admitted I know that. Procrastination!

    posted by Jan on 3-12-2010 at 10:34 am

  19. I thought it was about Lindsey Buckingham. Anyone else?

    posted by Chris on 3-12-2010 at 11:11 am

  20. Robot Chicken parodies Lindsey Lohan all the time. Why doesn’t she sue them? If she does, that would just be a coincidence.

    posted by Sara in Al on 3-12-2010 at 11:11 am

  21. Mariah Carey isn’t a porn star?? Really., the way she dresses I can see where people would think she was. That girl needs a good stylist. Sorry, phenomenal talent, really bad tast

    posted by JaneM on 3-12-2010 at 11:19 am

  22. dear Programmher T :oops, never mind.

    posted by Elaine on 3-12-2010 at 11:20 am

  23. I’ll be honest, I’m not a LiLo fan, but she was the FIRST thing that came to mind during the commercial. In fact, everyone I know would talk about “that Lindsay commercial with the baby” for the next few days. I don’t think that’s a reason to sue, but, hey, worse lawsuits have been filed, apparently.

    posted by Steph on 3-12-2010 at 12:08 pm

  24. Lindsay Lohan?
    I thought that was one of Jeff Dunham’s dummies?
    Attached a link to the video.

    SILENCE I KILL YOU!

    posted by dbus on 3-12-2010 at 12:09 pm

  25. I’m glad that I’m not the only pop culture junkie who immediately thought of LiLo when I saw that E Trade commercial. Personally, I thought it was funny. Although, I can see how she might not have been so amused… =)

    posted by jmayhp on 3-12-2010 at 12:51 pm

  26. @Sara in Al- I thought the same thing! The person who does her voice on Robot Chicken is fantastic! It fits the character perfectly.

    posted by Chris on 3-12-2010 at 2:16 pm

  27. I didn’t make the Lohan connection when I saw the commercial, but now that I think of it that would have made it a little funnier. Whether or not it was intended to be a jab at her, though, I don’t think she has a case. There are plenty of Lindsays (and quite a few of them alcoholics, at that!).

    posted by Kelsey on 3-12-2010 at 3:18 pm

  28. Every one of these law suits seem pretty stupid except for the lady who lost her orthapedic sneakers. But come on people, how long do you plan on making fun of Lindsay Lohan. She needs help not ridicule. It seems some of you wonderful Christian people won’t be happy until you read her obituary, and even then some of you idiots will still make fun of her.

    posted by Joe Papierz Jr on 3-12-2010 at 9:23 pm

  29. I think everyone is missing the real point about the Lindsay thing…she is broke, has no career, and is looking for a quick buck.

    posted by D.Christian on 3-16-2010 at 2:03 pm

  30. Re: Ban in Entry 10. Mary Carey was recently advertised under that name to appear @ a NC stripjoint.

    posted by Nozmo King on 8-24-2010 at 7:28 pm

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