Here’s a shocker: Mike Rowe, the wisecracking host of Discovery’s Dirty Jobs, was a host on the home shopping channel QVC in the early 90′s. What makes this fun is that Rowe is clearly aware of how absurd QVC is, and spends much of his onscreen time cracking jokes and generally making a mockery of the job. It’s awesome. Also, the pricing on all of these items is insane. Behold:
Lava Lamp
“The lamp is a little warm, not unlike lava. [Feigns burn.] Medic! A singular opportunity to not only enjoy the bubbling effects of lava but fuse all your fingers together and create a little webbed appendage for you.”
Katsak Cat Toy
“If I were a cat, I’d be loving this. … The crinkling sound makes cats just crazy. They love it. That’s why this is a cat toy. That’s a cat on the front, and when a cat sees this, he’ll be drawn to it, magically. … He’ll just wrestle with the bag and experience a singular cat thrill.”
Noah’s Ark Carry Bag
“We got Noah, we got the Ark, dogs and cats, living together, and every other form of beast on here as well, for 27 dollars and 79 cents.” He eventually proceeds to remove and play with various animals in the bag’s pouches.
Precious Moments Figurine – Boy and Girl on Seesaw
“Like Smurfs, sort of, the Precious Moments.” Also an extended mis-remembrance of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. “The little boy, with superior weight, has kept the little girl elevated on the other end of the seesaw.”
Lee Sands Flat Front Calfskin Handband (Digression About Attraction to Animated Characters)
“You suddenly find yourself attracted to the animated figure, isn’t that terrible? The Little Mermaid? I’m relatively secure in my manhood, I can say that.”
Merry 16″ Porcelain Carol Anne Doll
“Part of the charm about dolls like this is they don’t change, they’re very consistent, unlike us flawed human beings.”
Much, Much More
Yeah, just go to this YouTube search page and you’ll be all set.
Many thanks to Maximumfun.org for pointing this out to the world.
Comments (17)
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Is it just me, or does he seem… condescending in each of these? Very, “This is the suckiest job ever and this is the suckiest product ever, but I have to sell it to you, so I’m lucky I’m very good looking and my voice is of a nice velvety register, because most of the people watching right now are seventy year old spinsters and they dig me.”
I feel kind of sorry for him; I want to hug him. It just seems like he needs it. It just makes me so happy he’s got Dirty Jobs.
On a side note, I always feel those intervals on QVC where the person has to talk about something for like, eight minutes, are so awkward and the people talking seem so resigned. It’s kind of depressing. Thank god he got out.
posted by Ella Rae on 3-24-2010 at 10:53 pm
I guess he’s always loved talking to the camera people, I love how he’s always so friendly with them and actually includes them in the show.
posted by Rachel* on 3-24-2010 at 11:19 pm
Wow. He’s so… so bad at this. It’s like he’s totally floundering for something to say and what he says is… completely wrong.
And is it just me, or does he have more hair now? I’d swear he does.
posted by GWSTB on 3-24-2010 at 11:49 pm
Ella Rae – yeah, I think his condescension is what I’d call snarkyness (snarkiness?), but yeah, totally. I still think it’s funny. :)
posted by Chris Higgins on 3-25-2010 at 12:41 am
Makes me love Mike Rowe even more :)
posted by Courtney on 3-25-2010 at 6:50 am
If you go to his website, he includes on his resume that he was fired from QVC “multiple times.” I love Mike Rowe! (recaptcha yahoos him!)
posted by Annette on 3-25-2010 at 8:07 am
According to a profile of him that I read in a magazine recently, he was fired for making a joke that was slightly sexual in nature. Can you find THAT clip?
posted by Kim on 3-25-2010 at 8:41 am
These are awesome! My cat, Eloise (you can see her blog by clicking my name) would probably like the Katsak; if Mike Rowe were selling those today, I’d have to buy one from him. :)
posted by Krie on 3-25-2010 at 9:18 am
Just watched the lava lamp video, and I just get the impression that he’s thinking WTF am I doing here?
And now why the hell doesn’t he get his own talk show? I’d miss him on dirty jobs, but would tune in for talk show.
posted by dbus on 3-25-2010 at 9:46 am
I love Mike Rowe! He makes Dirty Jobs awesome! I’d love to have him and Weird Al over for lunch.
(Recaptcha: stickier he)
posted by TooFewShoes on 3-25-2010 at 1:14 pm
You have to love how he throws Steinbeck in there. That is classic.
posted by Laurel on 3-25-2010 at 2:35 pm
Someone gave the noah’s ark bag to one of my kids. It was cute but $28 seems pricy.
posted by Stew on 3-25-2010 at 2:53 pm
Somehow, I don’t think the way to sell a porcelain doll to little old ladies is to conjure up images of Lenny “petting” Curley’s wife to death. That’s the kind of show that would be awesome when you’re drunk and trying to find something fun to watch at 3AM!
posted by Katie on 3-25-2010 at 3:17 pm
This just makes me love the guy more. It’s totally clear her hates the job, but loves to make it awkward.
posted by Kate on 3-25-2010 at 5:20 pm
OH I LOVE THIS! And it gives me newfound respect for QVC…
posted by Houstoned on 3-25-2010 at 6:39 pm
I thought everyone knew he used to be a QVC host – I’ve been a fan since his QVC days!
reCaptcha = bucketed deadline
posted by Mama9cats on 3-29-2010 at 12:01 pm
One of my favorite college professors had an addiction to “Dirty Jobs” – he’d say “I saw this really interesting thing on TV-” and the class would interrupt “‘Dirty Jobs’?” It was, the majority of the time.
I like the idea of a Mike Rowe talk show. Better than the garbage that’s out there. Maybe after “Dirty Jobs” ends.
posted by Kate H on 4-5-2010 at 10:17 pm