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As someone who has since childhood insisted on the importance of texture in my food over and above most other qualities — leading to strange rainy-day combinations like ice cream and Ruffles potato chips — I can really get behind the British scientists who spent 1,000 hours testing 700 varieties of bacon (or rashers, as they say across the pond), and found that crispiness and crunchiness were their most crucial aspects. Using a computer that measures texture and a panel of 50 bacon-loving volunteers, they have announced that the ideal bacon-crunching sound should measure 0.5 decibels, and should break when 0.4 newtons of chewing pressure is applied. Dr Graham Clayton, who led the research team, said “We often think that it’s the taste and smell of bacon that consumers find most attractive. But our research proves that texture and sound is just, if not more, important.” A scientist after my own heart. (Er, tongue.)
But how can you determine the ideal crunchiness/crispiness of your bacon? Simple! Just use the following equation. You don’t even need a graphing calculator!
N = C + {fb(cm) . fb(tc)} + fb(Ts) + fc . ta
N = force in Newtons required to break the cooked bacon.
fb = function of the bacon type.
fc = function of the condiment/filling effect.
Ts = serving temperature.
tc = cooking time.
ta = time or duration of application of condiment/filling.
cm = cooking method.
C = Newtons required to break uncooked bacon.
I’m sorry, but I have to say it:
In other news, still no cure for cancer.
posted by moonablaze on 4-9-2007 at 2:54 pm
Crunchy bacon?!!! Gross. Bacon should not “crunch”. If it does, it is burnt. Bacon is salty, meaty, and above all FATTY goodness. It can be slightly crispy, but there should always be a burst of grease on the tongue. My mother thinks bacon is reason I won’t become a vegetarian. (She’s right.)
posted by erin on 4-9-2007 at 3:12 pm
Oh, I beg you, I have to follow the formula every time before taking bacon up? It’s foolishly :) But information is taken into consideration!
posted by Amuseal on 4-9-2007 at 4:23 pm
Being a vegetarian, I think Morningstar Farms got the texture and taste down perfectly. Try it!
posted by Rebecca on 4-9-2007 at 4:39 pm
Agreeing with Erin, the last thing I want to hear when I eat Bacon is a crunch. Absolutely it should be cooked to a temperature safe enough for consumption, but after that I want that thing to be as limp as Stuart Smalley’s wrist.
posted by Tom on 4-9-2007 at 6:55 pm
Crunchity, crispity bacon–YUM! And potato chips and vanilla ice cream is a combination to die for!
posted by cmk on 4-9-2007 at 9:55 pm
I don’t like crunchy bacon. I like flacid bacon, and the most important quality in my opinion is how cured it is. I like really salty bacon, which doesn’t happen much with modern curing methods.
posted by Zach on 4-9-2007 at 11:37 pm
I love bacon! It should all be crispy, not crunchy hard and especially not under cooked and limp.
posted by karen on 4-12-2007 at 5:23 am
Crspy bacon for me!! but don’t they have more important things to spend time and money on??????
posted by Sharon on 4-12-2007 at 5:25 am
The only good way to eat bacon is when it is so crispy, it’s just about burned. Otherwise, it’s like eating a piece of Van’s tennis shoe rubber (not that I’ve eaten that, but that’s what it would be like if I had).
posted by Lisa on 4-12-2007 at 8:57 am
I’m with Karen, bacon should be crispy, not burnt to a crisp, but also not limp: i.e. - when you pick up one end, the other end shouldn’t droop. And salty! I’ve spent time in the UK, Australia, and New Zealand…and what they call “bacon” is definitely not the American style. It’s a different cut of the hog. You can fry the bejeezus out of it and it won’t crisp up.
Of course, for the health-minded, the Kiwi’s used to fry their bacon in butter…
posted by Jeigh on 4-12-2007 at 11:41 am
Crunchy, Crunchy, Crunchy…..
It’s all about the Crunch!!!!!!
posted by Patti on 4-28-2007 at 10:31 pm