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Once upon a time, just about all doormats came in three varieties. There were plain mats, mats that said “welcome”, and the fancy kind that had your family name on it. Now, you have ways to welcome people to your door that make a statement about who you are.
This mat is too clever by half. Especially if your name is really Matthew.
Perfect for a computer geek, this doormat says “There’s No Place Like 127.0.0.1” which is, of course, home.
To you, this may appear as a nice but boring pattern on a doormat. To a geek, it spells out “welcome” in binary language. It’s an inside joke that will amuse you as you wait outside.
More clever doormats, after the jump.
Another twist on the inside joke comes from the Navy. This doormat spells out a message in Navy flag code, but it doesn’t say welcome. It says “Wipe your feet!” Which would actually be a more useful message, IF you understood it.
If you are a geek, but your guests aren’t, consider the old-fashioned “welcome” with a twist. Here’s an electro-luminescent doormat complete with motion sensor that triggers the word to light up when someone is detected. They’ll either smile or run screaming for the hills.
To take that idea a bit further, how about an animated Space Invaders doormat that runs on AA batteries and uses flat panel LEDs? Too cool.
The outdoorsman with this doormat makes it clear that he might not be home for a particular reason.
You might make your visitors a little nervous with this one, or else they’ll just laugh, like I did!
I once labeled this “the best doormat ever”. A perfect gift for some of my more, um, adventurous neighbors.
This versatile doormat can be positioned to tell visitors how you feel on any particular day. Do you want them to “come in” or “go away”?
A hostage situation printed on a doormat means you’ll open the door to smiling guests.
Any of these mats can be combined with Toni, the talking mat. You record a message, slip the sensor foil under your doormat, and the message will be played when someone steps on it. Imagine your guests surprise when they hear “Stop! Put your hands in the air and turn around sloooowly!” or maybe “Look who’s here! Hide the silverwear.”
I haven’t been able to make my mind up which I like best, but with two young children, I should just get one that says, “Wipe Your Feet!”
Comments (26)
Comment
We have a door mat that reads: “Please stay on the mat. Your visit is very important to us. Your knock will be answered in the order in which it was received.”
posted by KJ on 4-17-2007 at 11:28 am
KJ, that’s priceless!
posted by Miss Cellania on 4-17-2007 at 11:32 am
A friend of mine has “Abandon all hope, All ye who enter here. (If you have already abandoned all hope, please disregard this notice.”
posted by Truovrld on 4-17-2007 at 11:45 am
Mine says “Ask not for whom the dog barks, it barks for thee” which visitors might be able to concentrate enough to read over the deafening noise of five Papillon greeters.
posted by Jen Smith on 4-17-2007 at 11:53 am
For those fans of ‘A Prairie Home Companion’, my wife got the perfect door mat. It reads:
“Welcome to the
_______’s
Where the women are strong, the men are good looking and all of the children are above average”
Of coarse, our last name is in the blank. The trouble is, I like it too much to let people put their feet on it. I use it as a tapestry.
posted by n2y2 on 4-17-2007 at 12:51 pm
I have the “come back with a warrant” mat, which my lawyer friends assure me is legally binding unless contradicted by the person answering the door.
posted by Cheeques on 4-17-2007 at 12:59 pm
That first one (”Hi. I’m Mat”) reminded me of the terribly non-PC kid-with-no-arms-and-no-legs jokes…
ie: What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs sitting on the porch? Matt.
…hanging on the wall? Art.
And so on. I’m so bad.
posted by Dave on 4-17-2007 at 3:49 pm
…floating in a pool? Bob.
posted by kiwibloke on 4-17-2007 at 4:08 pm
My daughter’s name is Allison; we used to tell her this variation on those jokes: What do you call a little girl sitting down between two tall buildings? Alley!! We did omit the arms & legs part, though.
posted by sofiya on 4-18-2007 at 8:55 am
It’s underwear,
but
it’s silver*ware*
unless maybe, you’re an alien dressed in a silver space suit!
posted by LadyGwyneth on 4-18-2007 at 9:57 am
MY SUPER COOL DOORMAT:
“IF I’M NOT HERE, I’M OUT LOOKING FOR MYSELF. SHOULD YOU FIND ME BEFORE I RETURN, KEEP ME HERE UNTILL I GET BACK!”
posted by HIQUE IQUEMAN on 4-18-2007 at 10:48 am
my favorite is the double-whammy:
what do you call 2 guys with no arms or legs hanging over a window?
curt ‘n rod!
posted by tenor on 4-18-2007 at 1:05 pm
A great post and thanks for the linkback concerning the LED doormat - you’re a gentleman, much appreciated.
posted by Andrew on 4-18-2007 at 6:15 pm
My fun & cool doormat says “Not you again!”
posted by Kathy on 4-18-2007 at 6:43 pm
Mine is a twist on the 127.0.0.1 one. It reads:
10 Home
20 Sweet
30 Go to 10
I know there’s a bracket in there, but I’m too lazy to check.
A friend of mine has one that says “Yes, Dave, this is your house.” A few of us pitched in to get it for him when he told us a tale of how he walked home from the pub (that’s a bar for you crazy Americans) and was a little too drunk to know if it was his place or not.
posted by Nerdfury on 4-18-2007 at 6:50 pm
A continuation on Dave’s joke…
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?
Art.
What do you call his arms and legs hanging on the wall?
Pieces of art.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs having a fit in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
posted by Calaco on 4-18-2007 at 8:01 pm
My husband had an experience similar to Nerdfury’s friend, even though he wasn’t drunk! We had just moved into a suburban neighborhood where all the houses look the same. My husband walked down the block to the mailbox, and when he returned, he found that his key wouldn’t work in the door. He rang the doorbell so I would let him in. A stranger opened the door and he immediately realized that he was at our next door neighbor’s house! He sheepishly said, “Sorry, I think I’m at the wrong house” and beat a quick retreat!
posted by Vicki on 4-19-2007 at 12:04 am
I’ve always liked
“Well butter my buns and call me a biscuit, look who’s here!”
posted by lorenac4 on 4-19-2007 at 8:19 am
It is so nice to see all of the compliments for our doormats! If you would like to see and order any, please visit our web site at www.highcotton.com
posted by bonnie on 4-19-2007 at 9:14 am
What position did the kid with no arms and legs play on the neighborhood baseball team?
Home Plate.
posted by VaporTrail on 4-22-2007 at 6:48 pm
Ring Bell and Run - Dog needs exercise.
So true my husky LOVES to greet everyone who rings the bell!
posted by JoAnn on 4-23-2007 at 7:29 pm
More for Dave
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the stove?
Stu
posted by Buddy on 4-24-2007 at 8:18 pm
Am looking for a door mat which says “Polite women rarely make history”. I’m not sure that the first word is polite - it could be “nice” - but you get the point. Does anyone know where I can find this doormat?
posted by Victoria Girdziunas on 5-5-2007 at 9:06 am
We have a large Rottweiler. My son found a door mat for us that says “A fragile and very sensitive big ass dog lives here!”
So True!
posted by Rick on 7-12-2007 at 6:57 am
well behaved women rarely make history
is the quote
posted by carly on 8-26-2007 at 2:59 pm
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
posted by Kathy on 11-15-2007 at 6:10 pm