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Back when I was trying to get in touch with Mr. Xavier Roberts, expert needle molder and creator of the Cabbage Patch Dolls empire, the receptionists at Babyland General Hospital could sniff around all my aliases. Though I never got through to him, I did spend a lot of time on hold learning all about the adoption process–C-sections (uh, that’s Cabbage-section), birth certificates, everything. If it had been in the budget, I might have considered a visit, if for no other reason than to find out if this very special General Hospital is as psychedelic as it seems: consider, please, the LPNs (Licensed Patch Nurses) who give hospital tours, winding past proto-dolls (originally, awkwardly called Little People) that can draw up to $25k, past the ICU packed with preemies who are victims of “unexpected frost in the Cabbage Patch,” and past the “Magic Crystal Tree” populated with “Mother Cabbages.” The virtual tour I took spent a good portion of the slide show explaining how hybrids called Bunnybees determine the sex of the baby, and how the actual birthing unfolds: “Mother Cabbage is dilated 10 leaves apart. Everything looks normal. ‘A little more Imagicillan please.’” Stat! Has anyone ever been here?
Comments (11)
Comment
I just took the “virtual tour”… and boy, was it creepy!
posted by Sara on 4-18-2007 at 1:04 pm
I went YEARS ago as a young girl.. it was mesmerizing,, now I’d find it creepy. I had a CBD before they went ‘mattel’, when your parents brought a picture of you to have one made at the ‘nursery’ in Georgia. You were able to take your baby to the movies for a nickel.. they really bought into this fad, before it was a fad.
posted by Jo-Ann on 4-18-2007 at 1:35 pm
Years ago there was a Babyland in Charlotte, about a block from where I lived. When I was ten, my cousin and I took a tour. There were grown couples “adopting” the dolls, which were outrageously expensive even back then (about $200 a piece. One couple had a receiving blanket. It should have struck us that these people might have been odd, but instead we were both desperate to have one of those dolls. When we were told no, both of us cried all the way home. My aunt ended up going back and getting my cousin one, but my folks didn’t give in. I still remember having to watch her parade around with that doll and rubbing it in. I am still bitter about that.
posted by Allison on 4-18-2007 at 1:48 pm
It’s really different when Babyland is in your home town. Tour bus after tour bus caused quite a commotion to our two-stoplight town and cut-through side streets. You wonder why the people keep coming. I remember taking a class field trip there once in grade school, but I’m not really sure how that fit into the curriculum now that I think about it. As a kid, I remember it as a kind of happy haunted house, if there is such a thing. A lot claim that Babyland helped to put us on the map, along with nearby Helen, and now it seems they have put us on the net. Wow…they just won’t go away.
posted by Tom on 4-18-2007 at 6:29 pm
I live about 15 minutes from Babyland and my wife or I take them up there a couple of times a year because they hold special events.
Whether adults think its weird or creepy or whatever, for children in the 4-8 range–especially girls–it really hits a special spot where fantasy seems to become reality. The kids really get into the “birth”, gathering around the tree watching the doctor go through the routine.
Now with that said, buying one of the authentic dolls is borderline insane because of the prices - somewhere in the $150 to $400 range. No child I know, including my own, is worthy of that kind of cash for a doll.
Babyland will be relocating to a new “hospital” in the next few years, about five miles from the current location.
posted by Thomas on 4-18-2007 at 7:26 pm
I want to add that the tour shows you pretty much the entire facility.
posted by Thomas on 4-18-2007 at 7:28 pm
I went once when I was little and once as an adult. When I was little, I adored it. I begged and begged and begged for one of the “real” dolls, but my parents wouldn’t buy one. I swear I’m gonna buy one now.
posted by Kerry on 4-18-2007 at 9:09 pm
I’ve been to Babyland General a number of times myself, and I’ve taken my kids. They really seem to get a kick out of it, and I’m not one to squelch the imagination of a child.
posted by FB on 4-19-2007 at 7:31 am
Taking the tour game me the chills. Creepy indeed! 1000 years from now someone is going to find this and think we were all a bunch of mindless idiots.
Bunnybees? ((shudder))
posted by unschooler on 4-19-2007 at 11:11 am
I went there when I was 8. My parents thought I was worth spending $150 on a doll. I got a birth certificate & a cigar saying it’s a girl. I barely remember the place. But, I still have the doll.
posted by cabbageNut on 4-19-2007 at 12:24 pm
i remember going there and getting a doll, but i hardly remember anything about the actual visit!
posted by hannah on 4-19-2007 at 2:34 pm