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The original Dummies book, DOS for Dummies, made sense: DOS was a dry and complex operating system that made most mortals who tried to use it feel a little, well, dumb. Since then, the Dummies universe has exploded, and there are dumbed-down how-to books covering nearly every topic imaginable. In some cases, however, it seems like the franchise may be encouraging the dummies of the world to enter into activities which it might be best if they stayed away from. To wit:
…. and of course, the just-plain-weird:
There being more of these books than we could possibly list here, it’s time to poll our readers: what’s the strangest Dummies title you’ve seen?
Comments (64)
Comment
Possibly the worst: Depression for Dummies. How many innocent lives were lost with that title?
posted by Justin Anthony Knapp on 4-23-2007 at 12:43 pm
Bipolar Disorder for Dummies
posted by Karen on 4-23-2007 at 12:44 pm
MySpace for Dummies
posted by tim on 4-23-2007 at 12:56 pm
i knew some people in college who did a comedy show called “Chicken Soup For The Soul For Dummies”. It’s not an actual book but the title always made me smile.
posted by jill on 4-23-2007 at 1:00 pm
Public Speaking for Dummies is an actual title. Some horrific, though hopefully fictional, titles might be
Pesticide application for dummies
String theory for dummies
Epidemiology and infection control for dummies.
Voting for dummies
posted by Tom on 4-23-2007 at 1:09 pm
“Grant Writing For Dummies”
If you are that dumb, what are you going to do after you are awarded the grant?
“Six Sigma for Dummies”
I once worked for a company that tried to implement Six Sigma. It seemed that being a dummy was prerequisite to its implementation.
“Sex for Dummies”
I know that is is already listed, but if a person needs that manual, do we really want them to reproduce? Seems like we should let nature run its coarse on that one.
posted by n2y2 on 4-23-2007 at 1:12 pm
I was going to put Bipolar Disorder…alas, I was beat to the punch.
posted by Emily on 4-23-2007 at 1:15 pm
private investigating for dummies.
seriously. spotted in the lap of a fellow guard at the art museum where i used to work.
posted by Erin on 4-23-2007 at 1:16 pm
IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)for Dummies
posted by Christina on 4-23-2007 at 1:19 pm
I once saw a “Grilling for Dummies”, somehow this doesn’t seem like a good idea. I wonder why the warning bells are going off in my head . . . hhmmmm . . raw meat and salmonilla . . . steak and carving knives . . . lighter fluid . . . fire . . . nope I guess that’d be a perfectly fine activity for a “Dummy”.
posted by Emily on 4-23-2007 at 1:20 pm
“Dating for Dummies”: if you’re a dummy, you’re probably not getting too many dates in the first place. Maybe you should get “Not Being a Dummy for Dummies.” That might solve most of the other problems.
I suggest the circular logic of “Publishing Self-Help Books for Dummies.”
posted by Lucas on 4-23-2007 at 1:55 pm
I think I single-handedly support the dummies publishing company-
several rows of my bookcase are yellow
posted by melanie on 4-23-2007 at 2:06 pm
I read “Pregnancy for Dummies”, and it was a lot better than “What To Expect When You’re Expecting”!
posted by Lori on 4-23-2007 at 2:22 pm
I just bought “Feng Shway for Dummies” on Saturday which I obviously need because I cant figger out how to spell it let alone implement it!
posted by Jen on 4-23-2007 at 2:22 pm
“The Origins of Tolkien’s Middle-earth For Dummies”
Huh?
“Writing Children’s Books For Dummies”
“Writing a Romance Novel For Dummies”
“Screenwriting for Dummies”
Is the dummy the wannabe author or his/her target audience?
posted by Jaclyn on 4-23-2007 at 2:31 pm
My favorite is the slot machine I saw on a cruiseship called “Winning for Dummies”. I felt extra dumb when I did not win.
posted by Aaron on 4-23-2007 at 2:57 pm
“For dummies” is a rather unfortunate name. They are all pre-existing books, edited for length, organizational clarity, and they add ‘tips’ to help out. They are a very valuable reference.
Canadian Wine for dummies is actually written by master sommelier, Tony Aspler. It is a literal reference for Canadian wine (Which is on the same level as French, Australian, and Californian wine)
posted by Don Quixote on 4-23-2007 at 2:57 pm
I’ll second “MySpace for Dummies”. We have that at the library where I work. Also on the shelf (or used to be, at least), “Success for Dummies”.
posted by Ed on 4-23-2007 at 3:30 pm
LOL “Sex for Dummies” mega-cool!
Nobody can be savvy to a greater or lesser extent, so sometimes we have to be looked like dummies somewhat.
posted by Amuseal on 4-23-2007 at 3:32 pm
I am the (not-so) proud owner of a “dummy” library. Most of them are software-related, but I do have “Houseplants for Dummies”, which is pretty out-there.
I agree that “Sex for Dummies” is about the most ridiculous. I would however love to see “Birth Control For Dummies.”
posted by Allison on 4-23-2007 at 3:56 pm
This isn’t one of their book titles, but it is related. Bally Gaming manufactures a video slot machine called “Winning for Dummies”.
This machine must be a boon for casino owners…
posted by Jeff on 4-23-2007 at 4:03 pm
Calculus for Dummies. And I own it.
posted by Lauren on 4-23-2007 at 4:27 pm
How about Potty-Training for Dummies? Although it did have some good tips for my kids.
posted by Shari on 4-23-2007 at 5:45 pm
I’ll admit to owning Wedding Planning for Dummies. It was actually very helpful to read through when we started planning, as an overview. But I don’t like, look back at it as we go or anything.
posted by Sara on 4-23-2007 at 6:27 pm
Ventriloquism for Dummies
Mensa for Dummies.
posted by Mister Pointer Outer on 4-23-2007 at 7:43 pm
How about:
“Rigging Elections For Dummies”
by G.W.B.
posted by Rael on 4-23-2007 at 8:34 pm
I’ve seen “Duct Tape for Dummies”
It’s like lots of projects you can do with duct tape.
posted by Rachel on 4-23-2007 at 9:14 pm
“Gourmet Cooking for Dummies” by Charlie Trotter. Of course there is no “Boiling Water for Dummies” so the preceding book may be hard to digest.
posted by Charles on 4-23-2007 at 9:36 pm
I taught Spanish for Spanish Speakers, and many of my students had problems with spelling and accent marks. I tried everything I could think of, including Español para Dummies. I found it to be comprehensive and clearly written–an excellent resource.
posted by Barbara on 4-23-2007 at 10:19 pm
Wicca for Dummies
posted by Rosalie on 4-24-2007 at 5:03 am
I’ll third Myspace for Dummies.
My brother and I saw this volume, while passing by a bookstore window while grocery shopping. We spent the whole way back home trying to figure out what the first chapter’s title would be…
- Chapter 1: Pimp my Myspace.
posted by Frank S. Besner on 4-24-2007 at 7:44 am
I came up with a book idea a whle ago but I havent gotten around to writing it. Too much of a dummy I guess.
Complete Idiot’s Guide to Morons, For Newbies
posted by Tim on 4-24-2007 at 7:58 am
Eating Vegetarian for Dummies always struck me as a bit too think for the content (”Don’t eat meat”)…
But even better is the Complete Idiot’s series. I’ve seen the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Designer Dogs, and the title seemed particularly apt.
posted by mikelietz on 4-24-2007 at 2:24 pm
Speaking of the Complete Idiot’s series, the best title I ever saw was “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Self-Esteem.”
posted by flippant42 on 4-24-2007 at 9:31 pm
“The GRE Test for Dummies”. I own it, I’ve read it, it’s a decent reference, actually - but the name of the series is indeed unfortunate. I mean, what person who’s taking the GRE’s and trying to get into Grad school really wants to buy a book “for Dummies”? But seriously, except for the horrible choice of name, they’re not half-bad books most of the time.
posted by Melinda on 4-25-2007 at 5:10 am
“Philosophy for Dummies”. It seemed so improbable when I saw it that I bought it. Turns out to be a quite readable introduction to the subject. Like “Zen for Dummies”, which I also own. Previous comments about how these books are written by experts is spot on. I guess the product of the reader’s intelligence and the writer’s intelligence has to be a constant.
posted by dwpocius on 4-25-2007 at 8:53 am
If you can’t find a “For Dummies” - you can always make your own here: www.smoke420.com/for-dummies-cover-generator We had way too much fun creating our own titles…
posted by Lisa on 4-25-2007 at 11:22 am
“Overcoming Dyslexia for Dummies.” That’s right — let’s give the dyslexics a BOOK TO READ about how to overcome their reading problems.
posted by Katrina on 4-25-2007 at 11:24 am
I agree the name of the series is unfortunate. I have “PC’s For Dummies” which was actuaaly quite helpful.
I did get a laugh out of “Mensa for Dummies” though! :) The whole Mensa idea is to keep “dummies” out.
posted by Sarah W. on 4-25-2007 at 1:25 pm
How about ‘keeping YOUR genes out of OUR pool for dummies’ ?
posted by Brian on 4-25-2007 at 1:54 pm
I’ve always imagined a Yellow and Black book prominently displayed on the desk in the Oval Office–the only copy sold of “Being President of the United States for Dummies”.
posted by richard manthey on 4-25-2007 at 3:02 pm
The perfect series:
Dating for Dummies
Relationships for Dummies
Sex for Dummies
Pregnancy for Dummies
Weddings for Dummies
Really, at some point they just write their own jokes, don’t they?
posted by Larissa on 4-25-2007 at 3:40 pm
Actually, many of the “For Dummies” and “Complete Idiot’s Guide to” books are good introductions to the subjects they cover. As others have said, the names are unfortunate. I’m a librarian, and any time someone asks for a book on a certain topic, and the only one we have is from one of these series, I cringe a little bit when I recommend them. I’m afraid someone will take offense - I always feel the need to give a disclaimer so that they know I don’t think they are stupid! Incidentally, a lot of children’s titles are also good, concise introductions to certain topics, so don’t shy away from the children’s section of the library!
posted by Vicki on 4-25-2007 at 6:17 pm
A friend bought me “Forensics for Dummies” a while back and when the “For Dummies” series first got popular I picked up a “Necronomicon for Dummies” book jacket/cover at WorldCon.
posted by zale on 4-25-2007 at 7:35 pm
Hey! I work for these people, but that said, I know what you mean. The books are good beginning titles for those who just want some basic information on a subject, but it does get to be a bit, well, dumb. Retired Racing Greyhounds for Dummies? Who knew there was a viable audience for that?
posted by lobes on 4-25-2007 at 7:51 pm
A friend of mine saw and bought, for amusement purposes: “Bestiality for Dummies.” Oddly, I never found this at my local Borders or library.
posted by NerdFury on 4-25-2007 at 7:54 pm
Actually, lobes, I am one of the many many people who would love Retired Racing Greyhounds for Dummies. I’m glad to know it’s out there. :) There are several national organizations trying to help these dogs find homes. They retire from racing very young and if they don’t find homes they are often euthanisied. Hmmm… maybe I don’t need an intro book after all, but plenty of people do and the word needs to get out about how much these dogs need homes and what great pets they are (I went to a workshop once on owning these dogs). :)
posted by Sarah W on 4-26-2007 at 5:59 pm
Being the President for Dummies
posted by Lori on 4-26-2007 at 9:49 pm
“Larissa Says:
April 25th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
The perfect series:
Dating for Dummies
Relationships for Dummies
Sex for Dummies
Pregnancy for Dummies
Weddings for Dummies
Really, at some point they just write their own jokes, don’t they?”
Larissa, you forgot the next logical step in the series:
Divorce for Dummies
posted by MP on 4-30-2007 at 8:25 am
Last week I was looking for Pneumonia For Dummies (I’m well on the road to recovery now).
Others:
How To Turn Off Your Turn Indicator For Dummies
How To Drive Politely In Your SUV For Dummies
posted by Lisa on 8-6-2007 at 8:54 am
“Assembling Nuclear Weapons for Dummies”
posted by admitme on 8-6-2007 at 12:37 pm
How about “Cheating in the HOV Lane for Dummies”?
posted by Ken on 8-6-2007 at 1:55 pm
Though it is an “Idiot’s Guide” series book, I have to say, the most ridiculous book I have ever owned is:
The Idiot’s Guide to the Brain
How’s that for some verbal irony?
posted by Lisa on 8-6-2007 at 2:32 pm
I have to admit I had to buy a copy of “Sex for Dummies” and cracked up reading it but even I couldn’t stoop so low as to buy:
“Mafia for Dummies”
and
“Infertility for Dummies”
both for sale at the local bookstore.
posted by Robert on 8-6-2007 at 3:57 pm
I am eagerly awaiting the publication of
Brain Surgery for Dummies and
Rocket Science for Dummies.
posted by Bob on 8-7-2007 at 1:07 pm
I always wanted “The Idiot’s Guide for Dummies”
posted by Mike on 8-8-2007 at 11:35 am
I saw a copy of “Logic for Dummies” in the library.
posted by mimi on 8-8-2007 at 2:26 pm
I sdmit that I own Dungeons and Dragons for Dummies. I also admit that it doesn’t keep me from looking like a flake if I try to play.
posted by becca on 8-8-2007 at 11:46 pm
Physics for Dummies is the one and only Dummies book I own. It was helpful in learning the difficult subject while being taught by perhaps the absolute worst teacher in the universe. I am forever indebted to my genius friend for recommending me to buy it.
posted by Anna on 8-9-2007 at 8:16 am
Self-Confidence for Dummies
It’ll sell, no doubt about it.
posted by Vlachen on 8-9-2007 at 9:23 am
“Bulimia for Dummies”
“Hooked on Phonics for Dummies”
seriously..
“Breathing for Dummies”
posted by thomasina on 8-9-2007 at 6:32 pm
“Teaching for Dummies”
What is sad is I know some teachers who would have been devoted readers.
posted by Teach7 on 8-10-2007 at 11:05 am
I actually thought about writing a book… machine shop for dummies… hey, could make some money
posted by Bill on 8-11-2007 at 8:27 pm
I think - by far - the best I’ve seen, and it is for real is - Baby Names for Dummies….
So are they saying the parents are dummies or you need a special book if your kid is a dummy!
posted by Anon on 8-12-2007 at 5:21 am