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I don’t know how to change the toner cartridge. Paper jams also confuse me. The printer, in general, is over my head. And therefore, off-limits.
In an unfortunate case of office planning, I sit within shouting distance of the freight elevator – the shouting of the person with the shipments, locked inside. If I knew the ins and outs of our shipping and receiving policies, I’d spend half my day dealing with deliveries. Lucky for me, I’m baffled by the whole situation.
Who knew there was a term for this? Let me turn things over to Jared Sandberg of the Wall Street Journal.
Strategic incompetence isn’t about having a strategy that fails, but a failure that succeeds. It almost always works to deflect work one doesn’t want to do — without ever having to admit it.
In all cases, it’s a ritualistic charade. The only thing the person claiming not to understand really doesn’t understand: That the victim ultimately stuck with the work sees through the false incompetence.
I guess he’s right. I could probably figure out where to sign for those packages. But I swear, I really do struggle with the printer.
What tasks are you pretending are too complicated?
I swear I would disassemble a printer to figure out how to change the toner. I just wouldn’t be able to get it back together again. :)
My too complicated task? Using the call waiting on my cell phone. I hate having to juggle 2 conversations a once!
posted by Sarah W on 4-25-2007 at 1:44 pm
Don’t they mean “strategery”…or whatever the Bush-ism is?
posted by Paula on 4-25-2007 at 1:48 pm
Transfering calls. “I’m sorry I can’t do that from this phone. But here’s their direct number if you’d like to call them.”
posted by Paula on 4-25-2007 at 1:50 pm
I’m glad to know the name for it, I’ve always called it the “I don’t want to know how to make popcorn” approach.
In high school I worked as a projectionist. One day, before the movie started, the manager told me and the other projectionist to come down so she could teach us how to make popcorn. He said, “No” which surprised her. When she asked why, he said “If I know how to make popcorn, I’ll have to make popcorn, so I don’t want to know how to make popcorn.”
posted by Christopher Palmer on 4-25-2007 at 2:18 pm
Apparently half the people in my office don’t know how the coffeemaker works……..
posted by JaneM on 4-25-2007 at 2:28 pm
One of my housemates has strategic incompetence towards washing dishes. Seriously. He got mad when we made fun of him over it, so now he cleans his dishes by running a little water over them and putting them away dirty. At least now the sink isn’t always full!
posted by Pete on 4-25-2007 at 2:43 pm
haha. my mommy thinks i purposely fold laundry badly, but i swear to god. I could take 10 minutes folding one shirt and it would be folded messy. I mean its not my fault i dont know how to fold laundry exactly how she likes it. :>
posted by JeannieJolene on 4-25-2007 at 3:47 pm
Years ago I inadvertently ruined a load of laundry by washing a red blouse in hot water with a load of white. A furious wife henceforth banded from washing clothes. I pleaded ignorance, and to this day, 18 years later, don’t do laundry. I will fold and do dishes, though.
posted by lazybum on 4-25-2007 at 5:20 pm
i gotta say that im a fan of not folding laundry. once in a blue moon, im taught again, then i forget… probably from lack of practice. :-[ oh well! it works anyway :-D
posted by trouble on 4-25-2007 at 6:28 pm
how do you fold dishes?
posted by Matt on 4-25-2007 at 6:42 pm
Wrapping presents. Could I do it properly? I suppose I could, but prefer to leave that task to my wife while I go to the garage and dismantle the carbs on my motorcycle.
posted by John on 4-25-2007 at 8:10 pm
I can’t transfer calls on the phone, only the computer transfer program. The phone method - like all damn phones - can’t just let you press, say, “Transfer. Dial number. Transfer” or something. You have to press hold, transfer, store, the number, hold, transfer, release and a heap of other ridiculous things.
The PC program only works when I’m specifically set up to take calls, which is now never, because my job description is emails only (I work in an ISP, answering customer emails).
So on the rare occasion I call someone, or a call accidentally drops in, I’m “Sorry, but we can’t transfer from here.”
posted by Nerdfury on 4-25-2007 at 8:13 pm
Haing recently moved to Maine I find it very handy to have neighbors feel that I am too imcompetent to shovel the snow. Usually, by the time I wake up I’m shoveled and plowed out….. I’m not saying nothing!
posted by SnowSeeker on 4-25-2007 at 8:43 pm
i got out of mowing the lawn as a kid b/c i did a HORRIBLE job at it the first time i tried, and was also banned. a neighbor had clued me in that it only seemed cool once and that after that it was not so much fun. now i have to do it all the time on my own and i hafta agree with my old neighbor…
posted by mri on 4-25-2007 at 9:18 pm
As my father told me numerous times since I was yo0ung- “the more you CAN do- the more they EXPECT you to do.”
I managed to destroy a lawnmower (put oil in teh gas tank and gas in teh oil tank); chopped my foot with an axe when told to split firewood (real accident- not planned); and wrecked the car when I was told to go pick up my sister at her boyfriend’s house (no more drving sis around!).
These were all honest accidents but they had a great impact on lowering my parents’ expectations. I am happy to say I have met every one of their low expectations since.
posted by Rob on 4-25-2007 at 11:12 pm
I have a driver’s license, but my mom still insists that I can’t drive. At first this bothered me, but now I realize that I can just get her to drive me anywhere, and in the meantime, I just stare out the window and space out, with no responsibilities as to our safety.
posted by Rosie on 4-26-2007 at 9:24 am
I removed the transfer button from my phone at work so that I wouldn’t have to transfer any more calls (which is apparently a task that many people hate).
I also have specifically avoided learning how to tie a tie.
posted by Kevin on 4-26-2007 at 10:32 am
Anything requiring use of the poster printer. It’s at least 3 feet long, and it really is intimidating.
posted by Milica on 4-26-2007 at 12:08 pm
Load the dishwasher. Seriously.
posted by Pointy-Hatted Geek on 4-26-2007 at 6:03 pm
JeannieJolene and everyone who can’t fold laundry- true story- my mom used to make me fold laundry but when i finished she’d refold it thr “right” way. i couldn’t seem to get out of being made to do it though. maybe she was a sadist/masochist. :)
posted by Sarah W on 4-26-2007 at 6:08 pm
I am a professional temp.
The right to strategic incompetence is my #1 job perk.
There is also a reciprocity to it, though. I make a good scapegoat for my clients, without either of us absorbing any responsibility or grief, due to my lack of experience and the clients lack of accountability.
I love my job! (Truly though, I am quite good at it)
posted by Allison on 4-27-2007 at 8:31 am
Hey, my Dad was an early pioneer of this!! He is 85 now. His brother was also an expert at it. In the army he got out of peeling potatoes on KP duty by causing his nose to bleed and drip over the potatoes as he peeled them!
They grew up on a dairy farm and guess they both liked to figure out ways to get out of having to work.
Sad but true.
posted by marilyn on 4-27-2007 at 12:27 pm
Opening the wine. We have once of those fancy dohickeys with all the levers.
posted by Karen on 4-27-2007 at 1:12 pm
Bartending.
I’ve been a bouncer/door guy for years and currently run Security for a venue in Seattle. A while back the Powers That Be decided everyone working in the bar should get their bartender certification.
I made up an entire backstory on the spot: how I tried to tend bar several times in the past and always ended up making patrons ill by accidentally mixing things that didn’t belong together. And how I was so clumsy behind a bar I’d constantly knock bottles over and break ‘em.
Not a bit of it was true,of course. I just knew that if I ever got certified I’d always be in danger of being pressed into service,even when my focus was needed on the door. But since I didn’t go to their little class I’m not ALLOWED to tend bar. Perfect.
posted by BamBam on 4-27-2007 at 11:42 pm