Ransom Riggs
Terrible band names: real or fake?
by Ransom Riggs - May 3, 2007 - 8:00 AM
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Lord knows there are a ton of terrible band names out there. In fact, I’m guilty of playing lead guitar (er, “playing”) in a few guilty parties myself (to wit: “Dinner with Hern Berford” in high school and “Subtext Becomes Text” in college). But we certainly weren’t the worst; in fact, I would go so far as to say that band names generated at random could not be worse than the monikers bands pin on themselves willingly. (We also used the metal band name generator when coming to this studied conclusion — a lot of fun.) Can you tell the difference between randomly generated band names and real ones? Prove it!

1. Regretful Pumpkin
2. Down with Naked
3. Battle of the Saxes
4. Boiled Sawyer
5. Cloak-and-Dagger Chuckhole
6. Sh-sh-sh-shark Attack!
7. Green Milk from Planet Orange
8. Mood Syrup
9. … and Flesh
10. The Internet

Answers after the jump! And while we’re at it, feel free to share the worst-named bands from your town.

1. Regretful Pumpkin FAKE
2. Down with Naked REAL
3. Battle of the Saxes REAL
4. Boiled Sawyer FAKE
5. Cloak-and-Dagger Chuckhole FAKE
6. Sh-sh-sh-shark Attack! REAL
7. Green Milk from Planet Orange REAL
8. Mood Syrup REAL
9. … and Flesh FAKE
10. The Internet REAL

We’d also like to give a shout-out to the following Onion AV Club nominees for “Worst-Named band of 2006″:

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
Corpse Vomit
Sorry About Your Couch
Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
America’s Meth Problem II

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Comments (32)

  1. Moe Green and the Fishnuts &

    The Puddin’ Heads from Memphis

    posted by DW on 5-3-2007 at 8:10 am

  2. Well, they aren’t from my parts, but I always loved the band Mustard Plug.

    From my Hometown there was Disband, which is not at all a terrible name, quite clever in fact. Plus the kids in the band were all neato.
    Also from my hometown was Squatweiler. I never did figure out what that meant, but they were fun to watch.

    posted by jenny in winston salem on 5-3-2007 at 8:49 am

  3. I heard of a band called “Free Beer” but it caused so many problems for bar owners that they had to change it.

    Imagine the marqee “Free Beer tonight”.

    posted by F2 on 5-3-2007 at 10:11 am

  4. F2, that’s like in the movie PCU when they name the band “Everyone Gets Laid”.

    Ever since I read Lord of the Flies in high school I wanted to name a band Pig’s Head on a Stick. I’m a little odd, I know.

    posted by Sara on 5-3-2007 at 10:17 am

  5. The best band names I ever heard were actually a couple of bands with some modest success:

    The Screaming Cheetah Wheelies

    and

    The Squirrel Nut Zippers

    posted by Anthony on 5-3-2007 at 10:36 am

  6. I’ve alway’s wanted to start my own hardcore metal band that plays star wars related music, and call it “Room Full of Dead Wookies”

    posted by V on 5-3-2007 at 10:38 am

  7. I was in a band named Spelczech. LAME. It was also called, for a short short time, There’s a hole in my Bucket.

    I enjoyed the name of another band I was in, although it’s a little lame. We were called, Sailfish Jones and the Earthtones.

    posted by Charlie on 5-3-2007 at 10:46 am

  8. Well in our town we have a burgeouning music scene with some clever names and some stupid. I followed the band name with style of music.

    My Uncle is a Canibal-Acid Rock
    Brass n’ Grass-Blue Grass on Horns
    Mouthful of Glitter-Punk Band
    The Anal Blazers-Punk Band
    Descendants of Cain-Metal
    Virgin and the Bandits-Art Rock
    Black Metal Jacket-Black Metal
    Pillar-Christian Rock
    Noxfate-Punk Band

    There are more, since we have like 20 punk bands.

    And I used to sing in two of the worst named bands . . .

    Sazerac-Metal
    Bluechain-Metal

    Bleh. Glad those days are over.

    posted by Scott on 5-3-2007 at 11:49 am

  9. My cousin just told me cannibal was spelled with two n’s. Opps.

    posted by Scott on 5-3-2007 at 11:50 am

  10. From North Dakota we have-

    Satan’s War Boner
    Funky Arabs
    Ded Walleye

    posted by Amber on 5-3-2007 at 12:35 pm

  11. My brother used to be (might still be?) in a band called James Bond Goes Surfing. Also used to be in one called the Scurrilous Blaggards.

    posted by Alyson on 5-3-2007 at 1:32 pm

  12. The Tea Party (out of Canada). Bad band name, unfortunate because the band is actually pretty good.

    posted by matt on 5-3-2007 at 2:20 pm

  13. In Tampa we have a band called One Small Step For Landmines.
    I love it. But as far as bad names go how about One-Eyed God Prophecy?

    posted by J on 5-3-2007 at 8:40 pm

  14. From Portland, Maine:
    My friends had a ska band called That’s What She Said, which of course became the punchline in many jokes.

    While in College in Northampton, MA:
    My ex-boyfriend was in a band called Lost Inside a Rubix Cube (cool name) which then changed its name to The Amber Fashion (LAME! and obviously Emo…)

    posted by SuperEmi on 5-4-2007 at 7:50 am

  15. Ever heard of the band Cannibal Corpse? I think they are death metal.

    posted by Melissa on 5-4-2007 at 8:27 am

  16. The marquee at the Rat (R.I.P.) in Boston once posted a band, “Hot Spanky Vulva.” I didn’t go in that night, but I wanted to.

    posted by Robert on 5-4-2007 at 9:44 am

  17. I’ve been a long time fan of a band out of Denton, TX called ‘Brave Combo’… Polka meets Rock… definitely a brave combination. And, yet, somehow it works.

    posted by Tru on 5-4-2007 at 10:22 am

  18. I love Brave Combo they have the best christmas songs.

    posted by Melissa on 5-4-2007 at 12:30 pm

  19. Some of the “best” names I’ve ever seen were Box of Cats, Big Dick and the Penetrators (I laughed so hard when I saw that posted outside a bar), and Hot Paws.

    posted by Krie on 5-14-2008 at 7:24 am

  20. In Minneapolis we have a band called Gay Witch Abortion, which has always somewhat intrigued me. Back in Detroit we had a few awful ones such as Bourgeois Filth and Old Spice… But then I’m one to talk, bands I’ve been in have included Shyside and Soapbox Champion… It’s the emo equivalent of having a ska band with the word ska in the title.

    posted by Nathan on 5-14-2008 at 9:05 am

  21. There’s a super-popular band around where I grew up called the Pop Tart Monkeys. God, they suck. Oh, and my best friend’s boyfriend was in a hardcore band for like 10 years called Backstreet Law, they had to change their name when the Boys. They’ve retired now, but they were called ‘Til December after that.

    posted by lucyjae on 5-14-2008 at 9:07 am

  22. I was in a band in junior high called “Zip Zippo and the Flintheads”, which i feel is one of the all time bad band names.
    Other stupid band name’s my friend have been in:
    “The Boy who Thought”
    “King Solomon’s Grave”
    “Emerging from Van Doors” (althought i did kinda like this one becuase it is a reference to the Upright Citizens Brigade)

    Plus, growing up in the Chicago punk scene of the 90′s, there were some other great/bad/great again bands, like:
    Pansy Division
    Boris the Sprinkler
    The Queers
    and i’m sure if i busted out my old record collection, there would be a million more

    posted by Andy on 5-14-2008 at 9:37 am

  23. My son is a sound engineer and I once had the unique pleasure of taking a band payment check to the bank to cash for him. Notated prominently on the check was the band’s name–”Scrotum Nose Dive”

    posted by Alice on 5-14-2008 at 10:53 am

  24. A couple of local bands here in the Fort Wayne,IN area are Big Dick and the Penetrators (a blues band) and my favorite is Fawn Liebowitz (a cool Animal House reference).

    posted by Steve on 5-14-2008 at 11:37 am

  25. I once played in a fairly decent cover band called ‘Nacho Mama’. A friend of ours was in a band called ‘Joe’s Bad Haircut’. When I played in bands in Boston, there was a band called ‘The Dream’. They owned the rights to their name and one of the large TV networks made a series called Dreams that featured a band called ‘The Dream’. The network purchased the rights to the name from them for a large amount. Then the series never came to fruition. The band was still forced to change their name. They became ‘Extreme’ (ex-dream?).

    posted by Wolf on 5-14-2008 at 12:13 pm

  26. Hard to believe no one has mentioned ‘Southern Culture on the Skids’ by now… a rather ecclectric alt band of about 20 years who did gigs on Leno and Conan by in the 90s.

    posted by Tom on 5-14-2008 at 12:55 pm

  27. S.C.O.T.S. is also notable for their album names, such as “Dirt Track Date” and “Plastic Seat Sweat”

    posted by Steve on 5-14-2008 at 2:03 pm

  28. There was a band in Sioux Falls a few years back that went by the name Dumpster Juice.

    posted by Tom on 5-14-2008 at 2:40 pm

  29. Not as bad as some listed above, but back in the 70′s a couple of local bands here were Lay Bach (great horn section) and Cold Potato Soup which was country rock.

    posted by Judy on 5-14-2008 at 2:57 pm

  30. I saw a flyer in Portland, OR, once for a band I’ll never forget: Allergic to Bullshit

    Awesome!

    posted by frodopal on 5-14-2008 at 6:43 pm

  31. “and for this you should die”

    yes i might love my brother but he’s just plain weird…at least his current band names are more on the normal side

    posted by stef on 5-14-2008 at 7:12 pm

  32. Loose Barbaric Love Fish — no idea. Old college roommate’s band.

    posted by Tom on 5-15-2008 at 9:28 am

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