http://www.maxmore.com/becoming.htm
Not sci-fi any more.

I hate the word “gifted” as many of you have also stated.

I grew up always at the bottom of the class, never a high achiever or anything, i was even once asked to take a test because the teacher thought i needed to drop into a “special” class.

I ended up having an I.Q. of just below or above genuis.

As a kid i have always felt as a puppet to other kids for them to redicule, judge, or make fun of for their own personal benefits.

But the problem is, i’m no typical nerd. I don’t wear glasses, dress in plaid and am a social outcast.

I’ve always grown up with older friends, i’m 1 of 3 younger sisters and a 1st grader i have always hung out with those 2-5 years older than myself.

I am farely good looking, not to toot my own horn, but i base this on the looks of women who are interested in myself. I always get the best looking girls in my school or social settings, but i don’t even want them. I don’t want the women the friends or experiences.

I remember as a kid watching the Bulls play on television (i’m 18 now) and i remember asking my dad about what happens if i go to hell. I don’t think i’ve ever been in as much physical pain to cry as much as i did that night.

Later in middle school i remember nights trying staying up all night trying to get in touch with religious forums and chats. Trying to get my questions answered and all i did was raise more questions. I ended up believing in god for a couple of more years until I finally figured out the only reason i ever believed, or was so scared in believing, was the scare tactic of hell which you are instilled with by the same people who call themselves saviors.

Then my 7th grade summer i tried marijuana recreationally with my friend who was in high school. I didn’t touch the stuff outside of summer until 2 years after and than for the last 2 years of my life i’ve been pretty addicted to around 6 times a day of recreationally self medicating.

Now i’m in high school and i feel as if people are so dumb in every which way, shape and form, that i feel as if i can’t even coexist with them sometimes.

People my age are so much about images and appearances and it is nothing more than deciet. Is this all humanity has to offer?

Now i find myself pondering questions like, 2012, mayans,nostradamus, aliens, other life forms other than god?

i remember when i liked politics back in middle school, sure is hard to enjoy.

I hate the word “gifted” as many of you have also stated.

I grew up always at the bottom of the class, never a high achiever or anything, i was even once asked to take a test because the teacher thought i needed to drop into a “special” class.

I ended up having an I.Q. of just below or above genuis.

As a kid i have always felt as a puppet to other kids for them to redicule, judge, or make fun of for their own personal benefits.

But the problem is, i’m no typical nerd. I don’t wear glasses, dress in plaid and am a social outcast.

I’ve always grown up with older friends, i’m 1 of 3 younger sisters and a 1st grader i have always hung out with those 2-5 years older than myself.

I am farely good looking, not to toot my own horn, but i base this on the looks of women who are interested in myself. I always get the best looking girls in my school or social settings, but i don’t even want them. I don’t want the women the friends or experiences.

I remember as a kid watching the Bulls play on television (i’m 18 now) and i remember asking my dad about what happens if i go to hell. I don’t think i’ve ever been in as much physical pain to cry as much as i did that night.

Later in middle school i remember nights trying staying up all night trying to get in touch with religious forums and chats. Trying to get my questions answered and all i did was raise more questions. I ended up believing in god for a couple of more years until I finally figured out the only reason i ever believed, or was so scared in believing, was the scare tactic of hell which you are instilled with by the same people who call themselves saviors.

Then my 7th grade summer i tried marijuana recreationally with my friend who was in high school. I didn’t touch the stuff outside of summer until 2 years after and than for the last 2 years of my life i’ve been pretty addicted to around 6 times a day of recreationally self medicating.

Now i’m in high school and i feel as if people are so dumb in every which way, shape and form, that i feel as if i can’t even coexist with them sometimes.

People my age are so much about images and appearances and it is nothing more than deciet. Is this all humanity has to offer?

I still am. And it does interfere with my daily productivity.

However, this is not a world of genius, it is a world of results and perseverance. Buddha and Jesus wrestled with their own intellects in order to achieve more, and they too were unusually afraid of death.

Far too many depressed genius with no achievements have passed through this world, and many average persons have made our lifes better by not troubling themselves over such inevitable things. So much for a genius, that was a run-on sentence.

Cheers.

I think the truly gifted are those who see the world as it is and realize that they have to make the best choice possible for themselves and for their environment. You cannot choose “all the options.” You have to stop, think, decide and act. Yes, you will be frustrated and disappointed but at least you will be moving forward. Find your own meaning of life. What does it mean for you? What do you want to achieve?

In other words, you cannot use your gift as an excuse. If school is boring because they dont challenge you enough, then challenge yourself. Learn a new language or instrument.

last of all, let me just say that I understand the need to wallow in disappointment from time to time (in the world, in yourself…) but only you can pick yourself up, shake it off and LIVE YOUR LIFE.

(Granted, some of the posters here obviously have had really serious problems with depression way beyond run-of-the-mill angst, and I hope in your cases you will be okay.)

I think I’ve survived by embracing “resigned stoicism”, and turning off my TV.