Comments (130)

1. heaven forbid you ever come home from a night out on the town and you stumble onto your online dating account. its like online beer goggles…

   posted by Yerg on 5-22-2007 at 11:29 am

2. Never MySpace while drunk.

   posted by MissThany on 5-22-2007 at 11:32 am

3. The Learning Channel even has a figurine you can buy to remind you not to “d-rail!”
   Look for “Merlot and E-mail Do Not Mix” at the Discovery Channel online store! Hilarious.

   posted by MissThany on 5-22-2007 at 11:38 am

4. I have a safe place to vent my “creativity”, a small egroup I’ve known for years. They laugh at me, keep it in the family, and make my stupidity available for later personal reference.

   posted by Miss Cellania on 5-22-2007 at 11:53 am

5. Like those Lefe Lessons on TLC channel – Email and Merlot don’t mix

   posted by JaneM on 5-22-2007 at 11:54 am

6. I have committed D-railing many times and not always with the best outcomes. I think all keyboards should be equiped with the “D-rail Send” button which would delay sending until you could sober up. Oh yeah, the drunk Itunes purchases – Guilty!

   posted by Lynne on 5-22-2007 at 12:20 pm

7. I can barely type legibly when I’m totally sober. I have no fear about any drunken emails. They would be illegible and/or would bounce back because I couldn’t spell my friends’ names!

   posted by Larriann on 5-22-2007 at 12:45 pm

8. There’s also drunk texting, which usually involves sending regrettable text messages to your guy/girl of interest. I’ve been guilty of this more than once.

   posted by Alyson on 5-22-2007 at 12:56 pm

9. Never had a problem with drunk dialing, emailing, etc. Now drunken Amazon and iTunes purchases on the other hand…

   posted by Erak on 5-22-2007 at 1:01 pm

10. A drunken get together with some friends at my brother’s house led to an impromptu dance party in front of the computer. The next morning he shamefully asks “did we buy ‘Bringing Sexy Back’ from iTunes last night?” but was relieved when I told him we’d just used YouTube. Sometimes, there is a happy ending to these things.

    posted by Bartleby on 5-22-2007 at 1:16 pm

11. For me iTunes is the thing to watch for, and the most regrettable purchase I made was Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant” — the entire album. The answer to why I ever thought I’d want to listen to that more than once can be found only at the bottom of a glass of pinot gris right around Thanksgiving.

    I’ve done some tipsy World of Warcrafting, too.

    posted by Mary on 5-22-2007 at 2:03 pm

12. How about drunk answering…
    I thought it would be a good idea to answer my mom’s phone call while I was walking down Burbon Street with my 4th Hurricane in hand during Mardi Gras. I don’t remember the conversation but apparently I mentioned the word boobies a lot…

    posted by nina on 5-22-2007 at 2:18 pm

13. drunk Googling of men i may be interested in. keeps me from d-railing them. its like a d-railing patch.

    posted by ??? on 5-22-2007 at 2:29 pm

14. I post on message boards.

    posted by Melissa on 5-22-2007 at 3:23 pm

15. I post on message boards.

    posted by Melissa on 5-22-2007 at 3:23 pm

16. My husband not once, but twice bought CARS off e-bay. The first one was $2000 and was every bit as good as you’d expect (you could see the road through the floorboards whilst driving). The second one isn’t too bad, though it needs a lot of work.

    I guess I should just be glad that he didn’t buy a corvette like that little kid whose mother left her e-bay account up…

    posted by Julie on 5-22-2007 at 3:34 pm

17. Woke up one morning only to remember I had transferred money from my checking account to my ING account the night before while under the influence. Phew! Luckily, I had actually had the funds to cover my transfer. I think I also checked up on my stocks that one night…

    posted by Lauren on 5-22-2007 at 3:51 pm

18. I read the mental_floss page. Nothing like a good laugh (or introspective thought) to keep the good times a-comin’.

    posted by Ed on 5-22-2007 at 4:34 pm

19. Imagine d-railing, but it being a tad bit faster.
    Like say iming your friends drunk…..

    posted by Jeannie on 5-22-2007 at 5:14 pm

20. Me and my friends are very, very guilty of drunk Facebooking. I have left many a drunk comments on friends walls!

    posted by weeble warble on 5-22-2007 at 6:27 pm

21. I’ve never done it myself, but apparently, there’s also drunk facebooking and myspacing (which make bulletins fun to read).

    posted by Goddess Of Hugs on 5-22-2007 at 6:56 pm

22. Not really bad about drunk emailing. But the old drink n dial – whoo! I tried to train my dog to hide the phone as soon as he saw my second glass of wine.

    posted by Laurie on 5-22-2007 at 10:58 pm

23. While in Thailand, i did something called “Changmail”. When travelling there on a budget, it is all too easy to slip into an internet cafe, which is the only place airconditioned, and order a Chang beer or 4 (the cheapest and largest beer available). Emails got progressively more colourful… seasoned Changmailers would dispense with family emails first, and save friends for the foggy finish.

    posted by mark on 5-22-2007 at 11:36 pm

24. Drunk emailing naughty emails to the bf, only to find out the next morning that I emailed a random friend. Fortunately, the email was gibberish.

    posted by J on 5-23-2007 at 12:42 am

25. In college I drunk ebay-ed. And I’m not talking about buying a collectible set of dishes. I drunk ebay-ed on a 6 foot tall cardboard cut out of Indiana Jones.

    I woke up the next morning, checked ebay and saw that I had won. It was the best $25 I ever spent.

    posted by Stephanie on 5-23-2007 at 9:59 am

26. Wow, guilty of everything you just talked about. I’ve definitely bought a few embarassing songs while drunk. Drunk texting is always great. You know when you’re receiving a text from someone you haven’t heard from in awhile at midnight on Saturday night, that they’re probably not totally aware of what they’re doing. amazon purchases too! You just made me feel a lot better about my drunken purchases. Thanks!

    posted by Kali on 5-23-2007 at 12:37 pm

27. I don’t consume alcohol. That’s best left to pencil-necked sissies.

    posted by Steve on 5-24-2007 at 3:00 am

28. I take sleeping pills at night. They used to put me right out if I lay down right away, but if I fought them they just made me kinda loopy. It was very similar to drunk.
    I ended up having an IM conversation, well two actually. One with my best friend and one with her boyfriend, who was in Iraq at the time, and whose best friend, also in Iraq, I was secretly in love with.
    I ended up with socks on my hands (no I don’t know why)… my typing was mostly illegible. When he signed off and I went on and on to my best friend she decided to save the conversation so i could see it the next day. Aside from several lines of random letters, there was an awful lot of
    ‘lovehimlovehimdonttell lovehim donttell savethislovehimlovehimlovehimdonttell…’

    posted by fyiagcg on 5-24-2007 at 4:07 am

29. My friends and I have elevated the drunk ‘n dial to an art form. I travel a lot for work and they not only expect, but demand they get a late night slightly intoxicated ramble from me where ever I go. One of my favorites was from the Alamo after about four Lone Star’s. Turns out you can get arrested for peeing on the Alamo…

    posted by Cari on 5-24-2007 at 8:35 am

30. I used to have a habit of doing Fark photoshop contests after a night of clubbing. The next day I’d look at the pictures I had posted and they made absolutely no sense. I certainly thought they were brilliant when I made them, however.

    Now I just sit in bars and use my phone to txt my friends with ascii art of genitalia.

    posted by Moneybaby on 5-24-2007 at 1:47 pm

31. Well, this isn’t an online thing, but it’s still hilarious. My girlfriend (at the time) and I were having a few drinks (okay, more than a few), and she told me that she wanted to see me play Thief (one of the best computer games EVER) while drunk. Now, this is a game where you need your wits about you. Drunken playing leads to a lot of time staring at the MISSION FAILED animation. Which I saw a fair amount that night. I swear, those guards could hear my hiccups or something.

    Finally, after one too many attempts at being clever (each one an utter failure), I drew my sword and simply assaulted the front gate of Lord Bafford’s manor. Giggling like a maniac as I jumped straight into what I thought would be a meat grinder.

    Here’s the weird bit: that strategy worked like a charm! You’re not supposed to do things this way, as it tends to make a thief come down with a bad case of dead. But I merrily slaughtered my way through nearly two dozen guards (displaying flawless skill with the game’s swordfighting mechanics), stole pretty much everything that wasn’t nailed down, and left the place with the alarm still sounding.

    At this point, my girl and I just cracked up.

    I’ve never been able to QUITE duplicate that feat.

    posted by Saborlas on 5-25-2007 at 7:58 pm

32. My friends and I have a tradition of leaving drunk signing telegrams for eachother on voicemails (or in person if someone is lucky enough to pick up) Songs are ALWAYS tailored personally for the recipient and tend to include “Is She Really Going Out With Him” and “Do You Like Pina Coladas?”

    posted by Lia on 6-1-2007 at 2:30 pm

33. I think the worst has got to be emailing a guy you like whilst drunk. I did this last night, sending emails and I have no idea what I wrote. I remember I was trying to write just friendly emails, but I won’t torture myself to actually look at what I said.

    posted by Jenny on 6-28-2007 at 4:12 pm

34. It is soooo good to see that I am NOT the only one. While in a more altered state than I thought I was in last night, I d-railed a guy I’d been seeing with WAY to much information about how I felt.

    Haven’t heard back & not sure I want to after some of the things I said.

    My new philosophy: Upon entering an altered state of sobriety, all communication devices should and must be removed from the possession of the person whose judgement is shortly to be in question.

    posted by tatiana on 7-31-2007 at 1:15 am

35. I’ve had more than my far share of imbibed online chatting. Perhaps I should invest in an Ignition Interlock Device for my CPU. I could attach the moniter discreetly into my headset’s mic.

    :)

    posted by Dave on 10-26-2007 at 8:17 am

36. I haven’t done ebay, amazon, or itunes drunk, but I am no stranger to drunk dialing, in which one case I explained to a friend I was a chia-pet followed by continuous howling. He sent me an mp3 of the voice mail I left him.

    Drunk texting is a given for me when at the bar. It’s a normal habit of mine now. The worst thing I did drunk was try to play a drum kit. One band I am in (originally started off on drums and got “promoted” to bass) we had our first show and bands get $1 off drafts, so we all got trashed and very quickly. Generally, amps were frying, equipment was falling apart, and so did our set. After that night, we had to start limiting ourself. ha!

    Although, this compares nothing to waking up in a bathtub with a lot of questions.

    posted by Johnny B on 10-26-2007 at 8:29 am

37. never get on facebook or IM when you’re drunk…especially if you’ve had a fight with your boyfriend, ex, boyfriend’s ex, etc…it’s not so pretty in the morning :)

    posted by Isabelle on 10-26-2007 at 8:43 am

38. One time i left 8 consecutive messages on my friends voice mail that were completely gibberish, then there was the time i called my boss (I was a lifeguard at the time, were SUPPOSEDLY responsible), or the time i called my sister and just said “Neigh” over adn over for about 5 minutes. I also tend to drunk-text animal sounds to random people. Dont ge that one. And i definetly drunk e-bay. Usually dont end up winning though, thank god.

    posted by joe on 10-26-2007 at 9:02 am

39. I once had a really bad Saturday at work and I went home and drank an ENTIRE bottle of chardonnay. I ended up texting one of my friends about random stuff.

    posted by Seech on 10-26-2007 at 9:57 am

40. I’ve been sober for two years now, but the one thing I remember from “back then” is sitting down at my computer at midnight and sending an email out that said simply “I think vesicle is the funniest word in the English language”. No typos, perfect punctuation and sent to my boss. It was supposed to go to my sister.

    posted by Lisa on 10-26-2007 at 10:05 am

41. OMG, drunk dialed my property manager, and left a voice mail, that I was ahhh drunk, and I ahhh, needed a ride home, and it just so happens I live in the apt community,and I ahhh, left this long message with lots of ahhhs, and she saved and played it for me a couple days later, needless to say it was very funny!

    posted by Classy on 10-26-2007 at 10:13 am

42. I get drunk and look at porn.Then I sober up and realize they were all fat! OMG!

    posted by Chris on 10-26-2007 at 10:25 am

43. The last time I got drunk and e-mailed, I woke up next to my computer the next day and it was smoking a cigarette!! And worse yet, I found out the computer was networked!

    posted by Tom on 10-26-2007 at 10:30 am

44. If I anticipate a night of inebriation, I ALWAYS unplug my keyboard and give it to my best friend! This wisdom came after a dr-ailing, that caused me much embarassment! (it was so ugly)

    posted by Virginia on 10-26-2007 at 10:34 am

45. Nope. I’ve never done any of these things while drunk, but I’ve sure had fun laughing at you guys! :-)

    posted by oh.my on 10-26-2007 at 10:37 am

46. I’m sooo glad to know I’m not the only one. I call it TWI. Typing While Intoxicated. Not pretty.

    posted by Dawn on 10-26-2007 at 10:46 am

47. the last time i got ripped i went into a lingerie store and tried on some really hot things… took pictures of myself with my phone in the dressing room and sent it to a guy friend… then i bought it all. Yikes! i always dread looking at my sent messages after a night of drinking ;) although he was very appreciative ha ha.

    The important thing about drunk texting is that you must be careful not to send to the wrong person… those little names are mighty close together on my phone… once you press send, its gone!

    posted by lynn on 10-26-2007 at 10:51 am

48. i gotta breathalize my ebay account….end of story.

    posted by jb on 10-26-2007 at 10:59 am

49. Drunken e-baying by far. However the upside is that the stuff I’ve bought where booze was involved are now some of my most prized possessions. They were obtained when my sense of practicality was at it’s lowest and my “who gives a sh*t I have wanted this forever and now I’m going to get it!” factor was very high. In other words: Stone sober I would never ever have bought this stuff, but now I’m glad I did.

    posted by Dave on 10-26-2007 at 11:14 am

50. OMG this was the greatest entertainment ever! I must say that I’m guilty of doing drunk texting and dialing. I had to get rid of my sidekick cause I couldn’t stop. Yeah there were a couple of very embarrassed mornings…But nothing beats my best friend whom I have to hide the phone.

    posted by Nicole on 10-26-2007 at 11:16 am

51. I have drunk dialed my mom. At 3am. I asked for my younger brother… He wasn’t there, he was spending the night with his friends… I thought she was lying to me. She then asks me if I need a ride home from somewhere… I ask the (sober) driver where we are… he says Tijuana. She commences to freak out, until I realize that we’re still in the Dallas/Ft Worth area… heading back to my apartment.

    That was the night I also decided to help myself into the apartment by leaning on the wall outside and walking. Great idea… except our apartments are stucco.

    I’ve made god knows how many drunk purchases. I still haven’t figured out why I always think wal-marts and IHOPs are great ideas when I’m drunk.

    I’ve played drunked World of Warcraft. That’s better when half the 25-man raid you’re in is drunk as well… best when 7 of the other 25 people are sitting in your apartment drunk, and all of us are on Ventrillo.

    I’ve coded while drunk. I had an amazing inspiration, and figured out exactly why my code wasn’t doing what I wanted it to. Unfortunately, my typing wasn’t quite so good, so I have 4 pages of jibberish, with notes that are also in jibberish. I guess I should be glad that I at least tried to explain it to myself.

    I still think the absolute worst thing I’ve done while drunk is keep drinking when it’s 4am, and I have work the next morning at 8am. Watching words wiggle across the screen because you’re too drunk to focus is not a good thing for a programmer.

    posted by Nicole on 10-26-2007 at 11:26 am

52. I am guilty of Drunk dialing. I used to leave messages on my friend’s work phone out in California and hiccuped through the whole thing. He used to get in on Monday morning and laugh for hours over my inability to talk and not gigle and hiccup. I have never heard the messages. TG

    posted by Jude on 10-26-2007 at 11:39 am

53. I bought one-piece pajamas (onesie if you will) once while drunk…no regrets at all :)

    posted by tony on 10-26-2007 at 12:12 pm

54. One time after I are mushrooms and had been laughing at my wall for about an hour, I decided to write a blog on my myspace. Blogging was a fairly new thing to me, this being my 3rd one ever. My friend was playing guitar in the background while I was writing, meanwhile, I’m doubled-over in a hysterical laughter typing away. Post-fantasy world, the only thing laughable about the blog is how completely absurd it was. My mom actually saw it and commented on it, asking me if i was on drugs. I’ll post it below for good measure. -Peace

    “I think i just blogged my pants. No blog stain though, that’s good. I do feel “accomplished” because I’ve been trying to blog for the past hour ( I think I had too much cheese) Then finally, a blog was born. I’m going to love my blog, just like my others…. but this blog is special. There is something about my third blog. I feel an attachment to it. I think I’ll name this blog Henry… Henry the blog. My stripes on my arms rock FACE!!! Awesome!!!!!!! I”m working with multiple PLE! What am I listening to? How do you spell sh*t?”

    posted by John on 10-26-2007 at 12:13 pm

55. I came back from the Police concert, realized the next day at work was going to be rough, and decided to make myself a Police mix to play at work to get me through it. Nevermind that I already owned the CDs, I logged onto ITunes, purchased a bunch of songs, and added in one from Radiohead. Or so I thought. Turns out there’s this band called Radiodread that does reggae covers of Radiohead songs.

    Another time I ordered the Time Life Video series. Imagine my surprise when I kept getting these Muppet tapes in the mail– I couldn’t figure out why these kept showing up on my doorstep until I went through my old credit card statements. I guess I should put them on Ebay and hope some other drunk buys them.

    posted by mmcg on 10-26-2007 at 12:26 pm

56. Been drunk texting the guy I’m after for 2 weeks now…he’s stopped responding. Hint: Turn your f*cking phone off when you go out.

    posted by Amaricanlife on 10-26-2007 at 12:32 pm

57. How about leaving the club, and telling your closest female friend, on the phone…merry christmas time and time again…..when it’s easter sunday.

    posted by Chuck on 10-26-2007 at 12:39 pm

58. I went out with some friends on night and drank, well, a little too much. When I got home around 3 am I saw my computer just sitting there and made the decision to email my professor about how I was in love with him and that the world was stupid and rules were for the weak and that we could make it work.

    I thought it was a great idea until I woke up the next morning and realized what I had done. It was an awkward rest of the semester.

    posted by sarge on 10-26-2007 at 12:46 pm

59. I just think it’s great i’m not the only jack azz.

    posted by dork mailer on 10-26-2007 at 1:18 pm

60. I recently became addicted to the drunken itunes purchase, loads of fun!

    I play on-line first person shooters and often see chats like “llit up man lit tjhe fick upp” or “Is that russiian or am i lloaaded?” or “ij ust kinda fell asleep and forfgot whewre i was when i found out i was hereer i was happy”

    posted by Chris on 10-26-2007 at 1:23 pm

61. Drunk Everquest playing. And e-baying I’m guilty of too. lol

    posted by Jena on 10-26-2007 at 1:25 pm

62. The town homes I used to live in looked all exactly alike. How about I got so drunk one night, I walked into the wrong house, walked upstairs into the wrong room before I realized what happend. Luckily nobody was home and the people that lived there had left the door unlocked…

    posted by Tim on 10-26-2007 at 1:27 pm

63. I am the live version of the life lesson from TLC… infact I have inducted fellow drunken typists as well. I dont know how the person i am emailing understands what I am trying to say half the time because when 3-4am hits, the fingers and the brain dont work well together. But do know I had a great time.

    posted by JK on 10-26-2007 at 1:33 pm

64. Thank god I am not the only one who has been subjected to drunken iTune purchases!!

    posted by Chelle on 10-26-2007 at 1:46 pm

65. I play an FPS (first person shooter)online game sometimes while drinking. At first it’s barely noticable, in fact, I play a little better because I’m more loose and less inhibited. As time goes on and the booze goes down my playing ability goes to the toilet. Basically, I either get kicked off of the server and/or text abused until I quit playing.

    posted by Goober on 10-26-2007 at 2:21 pm

66. drunk texting is what i do
    and to none other than my hot real estate agent lol!

    we’ll see what comes of it as i am going out tonight :D

    hehe

    posted by tara on 10-26-2007 at 2:27 pm

67. LONG DISTANCE drunk-dialing … before texting and wide-spread use of Internet.

    I once called an old boyfriend in ALASKA (me in Pennsylvania), knowing the time difference meant they were, oh, probably getting ready for bed. Man, his sister was p*ssed off cuz I’m certain the slurring was more obvious to her than to me — I’m pretty sure she never passed on the message, cuz I never heard from him. (He probably doesn’t do the drunk dialing thing …)

    TWI — I like it … gonna use it.

    posted by Sharon-a on 10-26-2007 at 2:34 pm

68. I place drunken sports best. Mostly College Football. It works out alright.

    posted by Joe on 10-26-2007 at 2:42 pm

69. I called my boyfriend of two months on New Year’s eve after WAY too much wine and told him that I thought we should get married in 2030 on the moon.

    posted by Rachel on 10-26-2007 at 2:52 pm

70. I drunk texted a girl I was hooking up with and told her I was too smashed to remember her hotel room number… but I accidentally sent it to my Mom! And I’m 40 years old. Bad. True.

    posted by starhead on 10-26-2007 at 2:53 pm

71. This whole thing is great. I feel like I’m in great company. My biggest drunken pitfall online would be the IM Booty Call. It’s just something about getting home at 1am and seeing that name on your buddy list that you occasionally check the away message/profile for, but haven’t talked to since who knows when, and allowing a night of partying to convince you they most likely would love to hear from you at that precise moment. If you’re lucky, they’ve had a similar evening, and things work out well for both of you.

    (note: successful utilization of this nifty trick can lead to 2am cab rides across town and convincing oneself that 3 hours of sleep will be completely sufficient to perform adequately at work the next morning)

    posted by Sly on 10-26-2007 at 3:46 pm

72. No drunk-dialing story but as someone else shared earlier, a certain popular sleeping pill will get you in the same situations….. if you don’t lie down right then, they don’t knock you out, more like a functioning black-out

    I too, have opened the mail to discover the Time Life CD collection!

    posted by nique on 10-26-2007 at 5:50 pm

73. I’ve had entire IM conversations while drunk and on ambien which i don’t recall at all. I wake up and they’re still there… and it looks like the ravings a lunatic.

    posted by Kyle on 10-26-2007 at 6:02 pm

74. I look up people from my past… like from years and years ago. Some would not even remember my name, I am certain. Others probably just wish they could forget. On a couple occasions I have actually emailed former boyfriends after finding them on Myspace and so far they have been happy to hear from me. Though it may be just relief to know that I am happily married with three kids and no romantic designs or surprise offspring belonging to them. I do feel a bit guilty later on when they write long, chatty emails about their lives over previous few years and I don’t have the time/interest to send a meaningful reply. Guess that’s just one of the ways alcohol can hurt others…:-)

    posted by sonja on 10-26-2007 at 6:48 pm

75. I used to do the drunk n dial thing alot back in the days b4 internet/texting. Never worked out very well but was fun at the time. I got a good laugh at all these stories though. I definitely like the TWI too and it beats the hell out of DWI!

    posted by causeIjustgottaBme on 10-26-2007 at 7:25 pm

76. Wow, so I’m not the only one who has discovered how much fun it is to use the internet while wasted. Whew! I am mainly guilty of the drunken email to friends ranting on and on about politics and religion as well as the sudden urge to apologize for all the things I thought I did or said that might have embarrassed or offended someone somewhere only to find that it was all in my mind d’oh! My friends tend to shrug this off but it leaves me feeling like I just exposed myself in public which I would never do, hopefully… ya never know when alcohol is involved. Drunken ebay is intense btw, as long as you don’t actually win the stupid-as*ed thing you were bidding on.

    posted by ac on 10-26-2007 at 9:08 pm

77. I’ve done a lot of drunk dialing, texting, amazoning, etc. Never eBay. But I have drunk dialed my parents. . . many times. My most interesting drunken adventure online, and it turned out to lead to another drunk hoorah, was the purchase of a plane ticket to see friends. I had no real intentions of booking this flight, but while walking home from a bar I drunk dialed an old roommate who convinced me it was a good idea.

    The next morning I found my expedia confirmation code. After several confused moments I put the pieces together. It was a good trip.

    posted by DA on 10-26-2007 at 9:39 pm

78. Oh Lord, this is great! I was afraid I was the only person who sent long, rambling, sappy drunk emails. After a few beers, I start emailing family and friends who are far away. After a few more beers, I think of more people who, I’m sure, are dying to hear from me. After many beers, and several hours, I have d-railed almost everyone in my address book, telling them how much I love them, and inviting them to come and stay at my home for a few days, or a month, and how much I love them again. I have to agree that TWI is safer than DWI, but I have to remember that someday some of these people might take me up on my invitations. I am also guilty of drunk ebaying.

    posted by Justfine on 10-26-2007 at 11:19 pm

79. I myspace stalk my old ex-boyfriends and on occasion if im really half in the bag i’ll start leaving comments or messages.

    posted by Melissa on 10-27-2007 at 5:10 am

80. Sonja:
    It must be a married mother of 3 kids thing!
    I once sent an ex (who I chatted with via email or text every few years) an “I love you because you are my oldest friend and I love your wife and kids too…” email while drunk. I don’t know what I was thinking. We don’t chat via email anymore…after he later pointed out that I must have been drunk-emailing and I denied it and was wholly embarrassed about it. Now he will text me like every two years to say hi, probably because he knows I can’t do long rambling messages via text. I stay far away from his email address when drinking now.

    posted by oppsididitagain on 10-27-2007 at 6:42 am

81. too many beers, bass pro shops website with a credit card arn’t a good mixture.

    posted by bob on 10-27-2007 at 7:40 am

82. Hey Maineack’s;
    The Barns no longer there but ” THE
    MUSIC LIVES ON ” Party…till the cows
    come home… Boogie till you puke!!

    posted by Jeff from The Red Barn-Monroe, ME, on 10-27-2007 at 7:52 am

83. Get a life people

    posted by james on 10-27-2007 at 8:10 am

84. #54 is definitely the funniest post here…. with all due respect to #43, which was funniest until i read a little further! when i read #54, i blogged coffee out my nose!

    ‘i think i just blogged my pants’….. lol!! so tell us john, what DID you say to your mother?

    posted by incognitoboy on 10-27-2007 at 8:52 am

85. I have been off the booze for six years now and ya’ll are making me want a drink so I can have fun d-railing. I did my share of drunk dialing, drunk shopping, mainly just being drunk. Now days I have prescription drugs so I just might end up d-railing again. You guys have been so funny, especially the guy that leaves voice mails like an animal. I’m definately gonna do that to my sister.

    posted by nessa on 10-27-2007 at 10:38 am

86. I run a website which is basically my opinions on…well…everything.

    Now imagine coming home from the bar at 2 am after running into an ex-girlfriend, and opening up the Dreamweaver MX.

    Needless to say, it became quite the habit for me to wake up the morning after, and check my site for any new “articles” I’d written the night before.

    posted by RazZ on 10-27-2007 at 11:23 am

87. I installed a breathalyzer on my keyboard years ago. And my truck.

    posted by Scoop on 10-27-2007 at 11:24 am

88. A few years ago, I was seeing a guy that I really liked, and one night I got home, pretty tipsy and wrote out a loooonnnggg letter admitting my profound love for him. Needless to say, this freaked him out, and we never became an item. My girl friends still tease me about it, and it’s so deeply rooted, I quit drunk emailing. Drunk texting however…

    posted by Liz on 10-27-2007 at 12:44 pm

89. I didn’t have the time to read through all of these, so this is probably a repeat:

    DO NOT log on to Pokerstars or any other gambling site while drunk. It’s worse than being drunk at a casino or your regular poker game, cause nobody’s gonna stop you from pissing away thousands of dollars.

    posted by Alex on 10-27-2007 at 12:48 pm

90. Be careful of what you send to the White House after you have had a few. You might be surprised to see the “Men in Black” the next morning. LOL

    posted by DW Duke on 10-27-2007 at 1:12 pm

91. Craigslist Casual Encounters… Dangerous. I’ve woken up to an inbox full of responses to an ad I apperently posted, “looking for fun”. – Not so funny the next day.

    posted by CRW on 10-27-2007 at 1:32 pm

92. After sever hours at a bar, I texted the word “Help” to my boyfriend. I still don’t know what it was I needed help with, but he said he was very happy that he stayed home that night!

    posted by kelly on 10-27-2007 at 2:55 pm

93. lol at #54..I was cracking uppp!

    I am the queen at drunk dialing/texting/myspacing my ex…apparently after drinking(usualy multiple times a week) i became an obsessed girl that could not let go of the ex boyfriend. when i was sober i didnt even think about the guy! it got so bad that i would stop reading what i wrote the next day…because it was THAT bad. lol doesn’t happen anymore…thank god. soooo embarassing!

    posted by krisi on 10-27-2007 at 5:28 pm

94. you don’t here about this that often because: “if you can actually operate a computer then you are not drunk” or maybe not drunk enough.

    posted by mike on 10-27-2007 at 5:42 pm

95. It’s great to see I’m not the only one guilty of drunk texting and drunk dialing. The worst was when, after a concert and many,many shots and drinks, I decided it would be best to call my boss and let her know that I wouldn’t be in. To this day, I still can’t look her in the face and this was two years ago. After she got in and listened to her voicemail she preceded to ask my coworkers, that I was friends with, if everything was ok and explained to them that she was really worried about me.

    The first thing I do now after a night of drinking is to grab my phone and check the “recent calls” and text log to see who I have to avoid for awhile. The IPhone has only made it easier to make a fool of yourself while drinking.

    I’ve never done the ITunes thing, but now that I’ve read about it, I can almost guarantee it will occur to me that the best time to purchase some great 80’s music will be the next time I’m drunk.

    posted by melissa on 10-28-2007 at 10:22 am

96. A friend threw her husband a promotion party at a popular club on a Friday night. Before going to the party, I met up with another friend at Dave & Busters for dinner and a drink or two. By the time we left there, I had nearly thirty drinks. I was okay…not really feeling the affects but feeling alright.

    We went to the party where I had MORE drinks…during the party, I got a call from a friend who, to this day, will remind me of the conversation we had…NOT GOOD! I really liked him and I knew he liked me but there are just some things you don’t tell a guy you’re wanting to be with or just hang out like that…and that’s exactly what I did! Talking with friends about sex when you’re drunk and having fun is one thing, but telling it to the guy you like is something TOTALLY different!

    When you’ve had too much to drink, be careful of what you say and WHO you say it to! haha

    posted by Rae on 10-28-2007 at 11:26 am

97. I’ve ended up booking online travel a few times after too many drinks. Tip: don’t book cheap, non-refundable airline tickets to somewhere you dislike, or you may end up having to go…

    On the other hand, after drinking at home to the point where I was too drunk to drive and (and not planning to drive either), I was wandering around a Web site for the state highway patrol. I ended up making a charitable contribution to their foundation to help the families of officers killed on the job.

    posted by Pavlov on 10-28-2007 at 1:40 pm

98. I drunk emailed my ex-bf and his ex-wife after I found out about a bunch of lies. I gave them brutal honesty so how could I ever regret it? ha ha ha

    posted by Jen on 10-28-2007 at 2:09 pm

99. As a sesoned drunk-dialer, I decided I need one of those breathylizer machines installed in my phone. I’ve also done the stoned-dialing after not having smoked for a while and left a bunch of messages of me just cracking up on friends’ voice mails.

    posted by Ryan on 10-28-2007 at 2:25 pm

100. My husband and I were separated for 4 months while he was out of state working. One evening, to beat the loneliness, I went out with some friends from work for some martini’s. After several (yes, several) I decided to let my husband know how much I missed him and sent a text message that said “I miss you so much Big Daddy” however, I sent it to one of my coworkers instead!

     posted by desertbrat on 10-28-2007 at 9:12 pm

101. Are there seriously breathalyzers that can be installed on a phone or computer? Or is someone on here going to invent them? PLEASE

     posted by wilghal on 10-29-2007 at 8:29 am

102. The judge suspended my keyboard for 90 days due to d-railing under the influence (DUI).

     posted by Karen on 10-29-2007 at 3:25 pm

103. Wow.. never realized there were so many.
     My best friend is the QUEEN of Drunk Myspacing… It never fails… she gets home from the bar, fires up the ol’ Dell and proceeds to myspace comment everyone on her friends list. It’s hilarious some of the things she leaves on there.
     Me on the other hand… I’m only guilty of drunk dialing.

     posted by Jenni on 10-29-2007 at 3:43 pm

104. #91. I have done that too many times to admit. I’ve probably responded to a few of yours, too….

     posted by Ings on 11-1-2007 at 7:26 pm

105. hmm ya writing a rambeling email to a mailing list i’m on about my dislike for singing dancing water bottles, and some sort of strange corporate masterplan to get us all drunk. Oh ya and drunk calling the United Kingdom at the suggestion of a friend, bad bad idea!

     posted by TJ on 11-4-2007 at 7:43 pm

106. My brother is a great Johnny Cash fan and got wasted when he heard The Man in Black had died. He then decided to call me to announce the great man’s passing. I was unavailable, so I got this rambling yet hilarious voice mail–which I’ve saved to this day in case I need leverage with my sobbing sibling!

     posted by Pavel on 12-3-2007 at 10:23 am

107. OMG-
     Been there, I am queen of drunk texting- *My ex-bf Michael and I have some real unresolved issues, and we are constantly texting! I just wish he knew how much I really do love him – He will start the texting out with how many Corona’s does it take to text your ex?? Personally I want to leave Corona on his door step each night just to hear from him! :-(

     posted by -J on 12-3-2007 at 1:54 pm

108. I’m a country radio Dj…

     … this was a d-railed message i got from my drunk roommate last night:

     Why don’t I have more time to talk to you about this stuff while I’m sober? Why don’t I think of them then?
     Why do I send you myspace messages in lieu of conversation?
     Why am I so talkative when I drink?

     Why won’t country change?
     Why is most current country about the status quo?
     Why doesn’t country recognize (or does it?) its roots in Scottish revolutionary history? (easy answer: That’s boring)
     Why aren’t country songs more controversial?
     Why does old country (like Hank Williams) that is considered controversial end up being so personal? How does that help people?
     Should country try to be a cause for change? Is that even a good idea anymore?
     The only country artists I hear about anymore are the Dixie Chicks, because they talk smack on the president. Does any of that sentiment make it into their songs?
     What, exactly, does the country audience really want?

     posted by Chachi on 12-7-2007 at 5:24 pm

109. Oh my God – best (and most validating) set of comments I’ve ever read. I drunk email all the time, often following up with the morning-after apology email. Just last night, I drunk emailed a girl from middle school (I am now 30) who I only recently got back in touch with and explained to her why her friendship had changed the course of my life and promised to come to her wedding; THEN, I swung over to MySpace to inform a guy from middle school who I also haven’t seen in 15 years (and who wasn’t even my friend back then) that he was going to be my date to the wedding & that we’d have the most amazing time ever.

     Some other highlights from my past: 1. Repeatedly emailing an ex-boyfriend that I dated for all of a month 5 years ago to tell him how much I’ve always loved him & how no other guy has ever compared; 2. Emailing (again, repeatedly) some guy I hooked up with ONE time about how he is “magical” and inspires me to write poetry (which I also then send & interpret in great detail just in case he doesn’t get it; 3. Writing to an old boss to tell her that she’d taught me everything I know and I felt terrible because I’d never properly thanked her. Etc.

     And I just discovered drunk I-Tunes, but I’m sure my credit cards will commence suffering shortly.

     posted by stupiddrunkgirl on 12-20-2007 at 2:27 pm

110. signed up for a credit card and balanced transferred $100.

     signed myself up for jdate.

     same night.

     i’m muslim.

     jaeger bombs aren’t necessary when you’re 26 and it’s a tuesday.

     posted by zaahit on 12-27-2007 at 9:42 am

111. I had received an email from a girl who had bought some mass quantities of champagne wanting a group of 30 to pay her back $2 each. I had just gone to the grocery store earlier in the day and seen $4 bottles of champagne, which would have given her enough to get 15 bottles based on her potential reimbursement. Drunkenly I came back that night and sent her an email asking for clarification about what the $2 was paying for because “my parents don’t so much care about my spending money on alcohol as long as I’m doing it in a frugal way and I’m not sure if this is frugal because I certainly didn’t see 15 bottles of champagne at the event so what exactly is this money going towards?”

     Oh and I accidentally hit reply-all so all 30 people read this email.
     Oh and she didn’t realize I was drunk at the time so she was actually offended
     Oh and I wasn’t even 21 at the time

     posted by Molly on 12-27-2007 at 10:11 am

112. # 110 – I totally love that!!!! jdate! and muslim! great.

     posted by qt314159265 on 12-27-2007 at 10:20 am

113. I’m ashamed to say that some of my best and funniest comic strip work has been done under the influence. Just another reason to partake of the hops and barley.
     “What?! I don’t have a problem! I’m tryin’ ta work here, dammit! hic!”

     posted by ArtF on 12-27-2007 at 11:16 am

114. i’m bigger on drunk texting than drunk emailing. a couple nights ago i texted some semi-cute guy that had been taking care of me when i was blackout-vomit-drunk a week before, saying “We should totally have coitus sometime.”

     posted by schmooz on 12-27-2007 at 1:33 pm

115. It’s called PUI- Posting under the Influence.

     There’s another reference for that acronym for travellers – Postcarding under the influence, whereby you write your postcards to friends and family after arriving back at your room drunk from a night out.

     posted by Hannah on 12-27-2007 at 1:43 pm

116. TWI is HIGHLY dangerous! I tend to get really frustrated at work and just want to tell management how they should REALLY do things. A few (several) beers later I did that on a few occasions and nearly got fired for my trouble. Not good.

     posted by kary on 12-27-2007 at 4:55 pm

117. i drunk blog. it’s ugly. the things i find worthy of writing about whilst inebriated are just insane! really– who cares that i just dissected my cat’s hairball only to find a bird claw in it? hopefully my readers.

     not as bad as the alternative, though. i pick fights. with really big, burly men. i’m a woman. i weigh 92 lbs. last time, i was lucky i didn’t end up in traction. dude had a crowbar. it’s fortunate i can talk my way out of anything, even situations of my own design.

     posted by casey on 12-27-2007 at 6:37 pm

118. I laughed so hard reading all of that.

     I have played WOW drunk… texted girls drunk (rare but happens)… emailed people drunk… did eBay drunk once (bought about $100 in useless software)… but nothing compaires in my head to the time I had my personal phone number forwarded to a client by my boss when I took a sick day and had to answer the phone drunk with a customer. Classic – they thought I was just really sick. I was dead hungover (worst in my life) hence the sick day.

     At the time I was giving tech support – I have no idea what solution I came up with but it must have worked. As they did not call back.

     The next day was a “please never do that again” talk with my boss. He was pretty new and I don’t think he thought about the scope of getting tech calls at home – or the cost of tech support from my personal phone.

     posted by Wicked on 12-27-2007 at 7:24 pm

119. Jerry McGuire has Dianetics..
     We have wine.
     Same results. So much so.. Im only allowed to use the computer under supervision. (2 glasses deep.. just in case I decide to repost later). Did I forget to mention the 20 boxes of ornaments I ordered for my mom, co-workers, and friends this Christmas? Plus an $80 hammer I bought for my dad because it had his name on it (he loved it by the way). Good times.

     posted by john-michael on 12-27-2007 at 8:17 pm

120. My only drunk e-mailing experience started with “God, I never realized how much you meant to me…” and ended with about 500 pages worth of “mevp9tgpsd9t8q v[ehg80wer[mas” after I passed out and my face landed on my keyboard.

     posted by Joe on 12-27-2007 at 9:03 pm

121. 114 – that’s an amazing post.

     posted by Jeff on 12-28-2007 at 8:04 am

122. 114 – that’s an amazing post.

     I’m a drunk txter big time. All the time. Mass txts, racey txts and photos. Whups.

     While in college, my buddies and I ordered tickets to a concert in Florida. We lived in New Jersey and were going to drive. Yeah! Great idea! I still have the ticket, I think.

     posted by Jeff on 12-28-2007 at 8:06 am

123. Drunk online shopping. Thank goodness Neiman’s return policy is so forgiving.

     posted by JM on 12-30-2007 at 12:24 am

124. A few for your enjoyment…

     What started as a nice IM and bottle of wine ended up at vodka, and a {male}friend in my bed in the morning. Luckily, we apparently just passed out, but I wasn’t quite sure how he got there.

     Someone I know is infamous for drunk dialing infomercials. She once tried to buy car repair paint, but had to ask the woman what color to buy because she didn’t have a car. She has also bought things on qvc that she only knew because she woke up to qvc on tv, and her cell phone and cc on the table.

     I get TONS of singing telegram vms from friends in college in different time zones. usually at 4 or 5 am est.

     But having said all that, I love them and their antics. Keep it up guys!

     posted by sj on 12-31-2007 at 12:52 pm

125. These stories are hilarious!

     I’m editing a book project on Internet Dating on WEbook.com, a user-generated
     book publisher. I read your blog and I thought you (or your readers!) might be interested in contributing. The purpose of the book is to create a non-fiction anthology about the good, the bad, and the just plain horrible about internet dating. So for any of you that have combined drinking with your internet dating account, it would be really wonderful if you checked out the project and joined in!

     If you’re interested, please email writers@webook.com.

     Best,
     Tahra

     posted by Tahra on 2-20-2008 at 11:15 am

126. I am so happy to be in such stellar company. LOL. I had another unfortunate texting mishap two nights ago. I apparently told this guy I’m interested in that I’m a “loving and caring person and just cannot and will not change that about myself”. I’m sure he was like WTF is she talking about? LOL. The shame. The embarrassment. Still haven’t heard from him even though I apologized via text and vmail. LOL

     Yes and ahhh…the drunk buying. I went to the mailbox one time to find that I am now (thanks to two bottles of Moet and a few vodka craberries) a platinum member of the united jewish ’save the children’ foundation and have “adopted” and fed several children in impoverished countries. One, I was raised catholic so it’s nice to know in my most inebriated states that I feel we should not be hemmed in by religious beliefs. And 2..damnit I am a loving and caring person and I cannot change that about myself. Hehehehehehe

     posted by Repeat TWI Offender on 5-26-2008 at 7:15 pm

127. My local friends and I have a tradition of calling my cousin and his friends in Denver when we’re drunk (and they do the same). It makes for many hilarious conversations, voicemail messages, and texts.

     Drunk texting gets worse though, I have had drunk friends send texts on my phone before (I have a tendency to leave it lying around), including a text to one of my coworkers telling her how much I wanted her, blah, blah, etc. Work was very awkward for several weeks.

     posted by Ssquach66 on 7-2-2008 at 11:27 pm

128. I attempted to add about 20 people to my Facebook friends list one night. I woke up the next morning to a slew of messages asking me who the hell I was.

     posted by Alyssa on 7-3-2008 at 1:20 am

129. If you find these sites that start the download of this virus, ping the site and look it up at a dns lookup site, then report it to the ISP’s so that they can get it shut down. These are the companies that should be taking responsibility. Usually they have these sites shut down

     posted by Lauren on 11-18-2008 at 4:39 pm

130. lol…yep, I am horrible at drunk texting…its a regular thing…and I have drunk emailed before, however, I find, with gmail, there is a filter called “mail goggles”…that you can set for certain times on your email, that by math trivia (you choose the difficulty level)you can manage to send an email, or it tells you that you need water, and sleep, and prevents you from sending emails…I wish I had this on my cellphone!

     posted by adrienne on 8-26-2009 at 4:53 pm

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