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I know I have a problem with the incorrect use of certain words. Were there a support group for my ilk – that is, people who have a hard time watching/listening as others mangle the language — I’d not only be a charter member, I’d probably be president of the board. I’ve devoted many Word Wrap posts over the last year to this or that offender, this or that offense. (Check out the Word Wrap archives in the side bar for multiple examples.) Today’s post is yet one more in that series, where I unload my frustration on you loyal wRap Readers looking for sympathy and perhaps a few more examples of such blasphemy; a post that has to do with intention and meaning - words that are meant to say one thing, but wind up saying something else entirely. For example, here’s a setup:
I’m getting ready to jump in the pool for a swim. There’s already someone in the lane, so I politely inquire: “Do you mind if I share the lane with you?” To which the guy in the pool says, “Sure!”
So did he mean “Sure I mind. Can you please wait til I’m done?” or did he think I asked, “Can I share the lane with you?” instead of “Do you mind if I share the lane with you?” I’m, of course, left to decide what to do based on intonation and body language. And although I guess it’s okay to jump in, my swim is now ruined as I spend the next 20 minutes wondering whether or not I’m bothering the swimming dolt as I share his lane.
There you have it: words that not only get in the way, but also get my goat.
Now, is that “bothering the swimming dolt,” “I’ll bother…,” or “Bother, ‘the swimming dolt’”?
posted by Katie Britt on 5-25-2007 at 5:17 am
This is a game my family plays. When you ask “do you mind…?” we usually answer yes, meaning no as so many others do, just to see who’s paying attention.
That’s been a peeve of mine for years.
I think people should ask “is it okay?” since they are usually asking permission.
(I will totally join your club.)
posted by Emily Jane on 5-25-2007 at 10:29 am
My boyfriend and I had this conversation recently. We decided that “May I” seemed to be the most clear phrasing.
Much like asking to turn up the air conditioner. Do you want it warmer (turning up the thermostat) or cooler (turning down the thermostat to make the a/c stay on longer)?
posted by Tru on 5-25-2007 at 10:30 am
Good ideas all around. I’m glad I’m not alone!
posted by David on 5-25-2007 at 10:42 am
I’ve pared down on asking “How are you?” or any of its variations unless I actually want to find out how a person fares. It’s uncanny how often my conversations still look like this:
Me: “Hi, [name of friend].”
Friend: “Fine. How are you?”
Talk about conditioned responses and meaningless phrases…
posted by Caleb on 5-25-2007 at 10:48 am
i think “sure” usually means they misheard the question. however if they said “yes” i would think they were saying they did mind. but if i was going to give a negative response, i would probably preface it with “actually, …” and then explain why i did mind.
posted by Line on 5-25-2007 at 10:53 am
Ahhh, reminds me of one of my favorite pastimes…
When somebody asks a simple action of you respond with “Oh, don’t be silly.”
It will confuse the heck out of them.
“Will you pass the salt?”
“Oh, don’t be silly.”
“Wait is that ‘oh, don’t be silly’ of course, or ‘oh, don’t be silly’ no chance?”
heh heh
posted by BCA on 5-25-2007 at 2:36 pm
The swimmer answered incorrectly. In response to “Do you mind if…” you should say something like, “Be my guest” or “No, I don’t mind” or “Sorry, but I’m afraid I do mind…”
Many years ago, I read a book about the adventures of a Scottish missionary in Africa. The standard greeting of the natives translated into English as “I see you!” I’ve often thought that is what is meant by “How are you?”, and is more to the point.
posted by Pam on 5-25-2007 at 6:28 pm
Last year I was teaching in Korea (no not North Korea) and I quickly discovered that many of the students there had only learned a few canned phrases, among which were, “How are you? I’m fine thank you, and you?” (said rather robotically) Sometimes that was the only English a kid would have. One day, another teacher and I came upon a student who was crying hysterically (it was a teenage girl), well, we asked her if she was alright, and the only words she managed to sob out were, “I’m fine thank you, and you?”
posted by greenstrawberries on 5-27-2007 at 10:28 pm
A frequent issue for me arises when I’m in line eg. at a fast food joint, and the server calls out, “Can I help who’s next?”
Obviously he/she can’t - it’s determined by the order in which each of us arrived and got in line.
posted by antisense on 5-28-2007 at 2:09 pm
Can you tell me what time it is? Can you show me the way to ? Do you know where is?
Just answer “Yes!” to all of these - It’s fun.
posted by scriveyn on 5-29-2007 at 5:09 am