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Over the years, a lot of people have predicted the end of the world, and thus far, a lot of people have had egg on their faces. We’re glad they were wrong, because now we get to make fun of them forever. Here are eight of our favorite doomsayers:
1. Billy Graham
Speaking in 1950, a young Billy Graham was quoted as saying “We may have another year, maybe two years. Then I believe it is going to be over.” Later in his career, he revised the date to 1998.
2. A (supposedly) talking carp
Witnesses (of which there were rather few) say that a mystical twenty-pound carp began shouting in Hebrew at a New York fish market in 2003. Roughly translated, it said “account for yourself, the end is near!”
3. Watchtower magazine
“Sometime between April 16 and 23, 1957, Armageddon will sweep the world! Millions will perish and in its flames and the land will be scorched.”
4. Assyrian stone tablet, circa 2800 B.C.
“The world is degenerating these days. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer mind their parents, every man wants to write a book, and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching.”
5. 16th-century German astronomer Johannes Stoeffler
“The world will end with a giant flood on February 20, 1524.”
6. William Miller, 19th century harbinger of doom
As quoted in the New York Herald: “The world will be destroyed by fire on April 3, 1843.
7. Archbishop Wulfstan of York, 1014 A.D.
“The world is in haste and is drawing ever closer to its end, and it always happens that the longer it lasts, the worse it becomes. And so it must ever be, for the coming of the Anti-Christ grows ever more evil because of the sins of the people, and then truly it will be grim and terrible widely in the world.”
8. Self-styled prophet Harold Whisenant
… author of 88 Reasons Why Christ Will Come Back in 1988.
Thanks to Laura Ward, whose book Famous Last Words has a great chapter on failed apocalyptic prophecy.
Comments (20)
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The talking carp is my favorite.
posted by Jack on 6-6-2007 at 9:37 am
I pay no mind to anything a carp says, they have no credibility with me.
posted by Randy on 6-6-2007 at 10:06 am
How can you NOT believe a Hebrew-speaking 20 lb. carp? And he was wise enough to be vague about an exact date.
posted by punkinsmom on 6-6-2007 at 10:47 am
Cod, on the other hand…
posted by Drew on 6-6-2007 at 11:16 am
You need to visit qntm.org/board, the home of the “International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board”.
I have their live banner (”constantly updated”) on my home page, so I can know at any moment whether the Earth has been destroyed ..
It currently shows “current Earth status: NOT destroyed”
posted by Howie Modell on 6-6-2007 at 12:09 pm
So what exactly does one get if they guess it right? Do you get to go around in heaven saying “I’m da man.”
posted by Gary on 6-6-2007 at 2:26 pm
That’s “I’m the carp.”
posted by Pointy-Hatted Geek on 6-6-2007 at 5:10 pm
A carp and a prawn are lying on an ice-bed in a New York market. The carp starts predicting the end of the world, the prawn says ‘Holy crap, a talking carp!’.
posted by pedro on 6-6-2007 at 5:25 pm
Re:“Sometime between April 16 an 23, 1957, Armageddon will sweep the world..”
This was a quote from California pastor, Mihran Ask, in January, 1957 He’s NOT Jehovah’s Witness. It was later quoted in the October 15 1958 issue of The Watchtower in an article talking about false prophets. Please try to get the facts straight.
(REF.:Evening Free Lance, Hollister, Calif., Jan. 30, 1957.)
posted by Duke OF URL on 6-6-2007 at 6:38 pm
I don’t remember if it was the Jehovah’s Witnesses or the Seventh Day Adventists, but because of their slogan, “Millions living now will never die,” many people enlisted in WWI believing they could not die.
posted by Barbara on 6-6-2007 at 10:16 pm
The world will end in exactly 4.5 billion years when Sol goes to red-giant phase and our orbit will be within the photosphere.
Get your affairs in order.
(tongue firmly implanted in cheek)
posted by Doc on 6-7-2007 at 8:00 am
A guy on a christian station quoted the bible as saying “The generation that sees the rebuilding of Davids Temple will see armageddon” and that archeologists found Davids Temple in 1967 and reassembled the stones. Then he said, “So armageddon will occur anytime between 1967 and 2007.” GEE, Are we running out of time?
July 7 2007 is 7/7/7
REPENT! REPENT! :o :)
posted by Reverend TDave on 6-8-2007 at 3:42 am
Heh, the last one should have been “88 reasons anyone claiming to be Christ in 1988 will be incarcerated in an asylum”
posted by Guinomo on 6-8-2007 at 6:08 am
exitmundi.com has interesting end of the world theories and the science behind them. Really cool site
posted by kyle on 6-10-2007 at 12:24 am
I am reminded of the character in Mork and Mindy (Exidor, I think) who thinks that the Venusians will destroy the Earth in 30 days!
posted by Jacqui on 6-18-2007 at 11:37 pm
FYI…. Harold Whisenant followed up his HUGE sucessful masterpiece with ‘89 Why the Rapture Will Be in 1989′…
Not as big of a hit. or, HE was raptured!!! aaaahhhhhhhhh!
posted by adam on 7-29-2008 at 5:33 am
I’m not one of those people that believes everything he hears, but I’ve never known a carp to lie.
I’m just saying…
posted by 8rustystaples on 7-29-2008 at 9:59 am
It will be fun to laugh this way at Al Gore and his ilk in the not so distant future.
posted by Wolf on 7-29-2008 at 10:50 am
@wolf: amen to that. global warming is fake.
posted by kevin on 7-29-2008 at 5:39 pm
Are we sure it wasn’t a 20 pound Tilapia? After all, suddenly we have this fish that nobody had heard of until a few years ago and then they are on every menu everywhere? Yup, gotta be a Tilapia! Can’t be Carp!
posted by Rogue on 7-29-2008 at 11:10 pm