Drinking bleach used to be a much-beloved threat I’d whip at my parents or caretakers. I wasn’t macabre so much as really just fascinated with the chemistry set that existed under our kitchen sink–the Pledge, the Comet, the Arm & Hammer whatever; these chemical weapons all seemed so dangerously conspicuous–when the liquor cabinet was locked, why wasn’t the chemical bunker beneath the sink? But why, other than self-mutilation, would someone drink bleach? Thanks to the insidious work of some urban legend, bleach is often (sadly! unwisely!) imbibed in order to mask the presence of drugs in urine samples.  And from what I’ve heard, it’s not unheard of for pregnant women to crave bleach–or other toxic substances. Doctors usually explain this as the body’s megaphone call for iron or other essential vitamins. If someone on your watch either intentionally or accidentally drinks bleach, by all means make sure they don’t vomit–have them drink water & milk and seek medical care stat. As a base, bleach’s burns are all the more harmful, inciting a process known as (gulp) liquefying necrosis. If you don’t want to deal with the temptation or liability of bleach or other harmful cleaners in your proximity, here’s a guide on how to have a green kitchen.